Remember, Never to Forget
by Poohbear-29
Summary: Rodney McKay can never forgive himself for the 'death' of a friend.
1. Chapter 1

Title---Remember, Never to Forget.

Author----Winnie

Rating-----T

Warning----Not a death fic

Disclaimer---I won no right to Stargate Atlantis or its characters. This story is for entertainment purposes only.

Comments-----I'd like to dedicate this one to Pamela who is always there with a helpful word and a wonderful ability to make the perfect collage. I'd also like to thank everyone who read and took the time to comment on my other Atlantis story. Be advised there is Sheppard whump ahead.

Rodney McKay reached for the strange piece of equipment at the end of the table and turned it over several times before looking at the proprietor of the small stand. They'd come to PG-2743 in search of allies and had happened upon the small outside market where the indigenous people were selling their wears. There were several intriguing stands, some with fruits and vegetables, but this one had quickly grabbed his attention and he'd been examining the merchandize for several minutes before picking up the slim piece of equipment that looked similar to an old sextant. "How much for this one?"

"Twenty one Shoclaws," the man answered.

"Twenty one…that's highway robbery," McKay blustered.

"It is a fine piece and you will not find another like it," the merchant told him, but frowned when the newcomer stared past him. He turned to see the majestic entourage marching past his table and prayed they would not show an interest in his display.

"Oh my God…that's him?"

"Dr. McKay, are you all right?" Lieutenant Adam Meeks asked of the scientist who'd been so enthralled by the instruments laid out on the table before him. Meeks had no idea what the mumbo jumbo was, but Rodney McKay had been in his glory, right up until the rather large, distastefully colorful group marched by the table.

"Lieutenant…did you see him?"

"I saw a lot of people, Dr. McKay," Meeks answered, turning as Teyla Emmagan joined them.

"Rodney, what's wrong?"

"I saw him, Teyla…he was just here."

"Who?"

"John…Sheppard," McKay answered and hurried past the table, knocking over several items in his haste to reach the group that had just passed them.

"Rodney!" Teyla said, latching onto the scientist's arm and ignoring the heated barbs from the man who owned the display.

"No, I have to…we have to go after them," McKay said and tried to pull away.

"Rodney, John's dead…it wasn't him," the Athosian told him softly, relieved when he stopped trying to pull away. "Come on…let's go back to the gate."

"No, Teyla, you don't understand. It was Sheppard…I know it was," McKay said, faltering slightly as a wave of dizziness washed over him. Since watching the ship disintegrate before his eyes, Rodney McKay had known the guilt of a friend's death. It had happened on a mission that was supposed to be a simple one, but had ended in John Sheppard's death. God help him, but he would never be able to forgive himself for what he'd done.

John Sheppard was dead…Rodney McKay had killed him.


	2. Chapter 2

Remember, Never to Forget---2

Rodney opened his eyes and tried to remember what he'd done to wind up flat on his back with Carson looking at him worriedly. The last thing he recalled with any degree of certainty was looking at the strange, yet effective instruments on a table in some off world market. His head was pounding as if he'd been listening to Sheppard's incessant talking and he remembered commenting about the colonel's hair always being in need of a comb, and someone with the know of it's proper usage. He seemed to recall having a drink of some strange ale and maybe that was the explanation for the headache.

Rodney could almost hear Carson's pen as he wrote something on the chart in his hands and wondered why his ears were suddenly so sensitive to everything around him. Even the tick of the clock near Beckett's office was loud enough to wake the dead, and he wanted to throw something at it to shut it up for good.

"Easy, Rodney," Beckett said, his accent heavy with emotion.

"Damn, remind me never to drink again," McKay said and finally managed to sit up and glanced at the next bed expecting to see his friend suffering the same effects of a hangover as he was, but the bed was empty. "Damn Sheppard and his…oh God…" His mind cleared so suddenly that brief flashes sent daggers through his skull. Sheppard was not here...would never be here again and it was his fault. His actions had taken the life of the one man who seemed to have an understanding of how Rodney ticked.

Rodney closed his eyes as all the air in the room seemed to have been sucked up by a giant vacuum, leaving the room void of something he needed almost as badly as he needed to see John Sheppard. God, it had to be some kind of nightmare, because he couldn't have pressed that button, not while Sheppard was still inside the ship. He couldn't have stood by and watched as the ship crumbled inward until only a small speck of unrecognizable pieces were strew haphazardly across the ground. God, now, he couldn't have been the one to do that…could he?

"Rodney, just take a deep breath. You're okay…that's it just take one breath at a time," Beckett told him.

"I killed him, Carson…I killed the best friend I ever had," McKay said, shoulders slumped dejectedly.

Carson Beckett could not remember ever seeing Rodney McKay so distraught and yet there was nothing he could do to ease the man's torment. He could still see the devastating loss written so plainly on the scientist's face when they'd returned from P63-2K9 without John Sheppard. Ronan and Teyla had been supporting him as they stepped through the stargate, and lowered him to the gurney. After a quick, but extensive examination he'd found no injury to McKay and his report stated that it was traumatic shock that had the Canadian flat on his back. "Rodney, no one blames you for what happened," Beckett said, placing his hand on McKay's shoulder and squeezing gently.

"They should," McKay told him. His mind flashed back to the day they'd stepped through the gate and found out there really was a hell.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

**Flashback 3 months----**

Colonel John Sheppard was first through the gate, but was quickly followed by Rodney McKay, Teyla, with Ronan taking up the rear. P63-2K9 had so much to promise and it would be a definite benefit to Atlantis if these people allied with them. Teyla had met with the villagers on several occasions and her people traded with them on a monthly basis. She trusted them and John had learned long ago to trust her opinion and instincts.

"John, these people do not trust strangers so let me do the talking until they are sure of your sincerity," Teyla explained.

"All right," Sheppard agreed. "Rodney, can you hold your tongue until Teyla's…"

"Why do you always think I'm going to do or say something to screw up a mission?" McKay asked, shaking his head when he realized Sheppard was smiling mischievously.

"John just likes to see you squirm, Rodney," Teyla said, chuckling softly, but growing serious as they were suddenly surrounded by the villagers armed with primitive, but dangerous weapons. She recognized the female who stared at her with a mixture of fear and anger. "Joliquin, we have come to talk of a possible trade and you meet us as an enemy instead of allies?"

"Your people have always been fair traders, Teyla, but it has been many moons since you've come to our world. There have been changes and we have learned not to trust strangers."

Sheppard studied the woman who seemed to be around Teyla's age, with long, flaming red hair that was pulled back in a tight pony tail. Her skin was almost bronze in color and there were deep lines across her forehead. She was an inch or so shorter than he was, and seemed confident in her ability to control the situation.

"We have come to trade, Joliquin," Teyla assured her.

"We want those weapons," a tall male with the same coloring as Joliquin told them.

"Sorry, the weapons are not part of any trade," Sheppard told them. He knew this male was dangerous, and could tell he had an itchy trigger finger, but there was no way they were giving up their weapons. They were outnumbered five to one, but they'd been up against those odds before and come out on top.

"Leave the weapons and you can go back through the stargate and forget you were ever here," Joliquin told him, staring behind her as a strange, whirring noise reached them. "They're back!" she shouted.

"Who?" Teyla asked, not recognizing the sound as the panicked villagers raced to find cover near the stargate.

"Rodney, dial the gate!" Sheppard ordered as two ships flew overhead, firing at the villagers who had yet to reach safety. He zigzagged as several bright streams of light struck the ground a little to close for comfort. There were screams from the villagers who weren't lucky enough to escape the beams, and John swore he could smell flesh burning.

"Ronan's down!" Teyla shouted.

"Rodney, move!" Sheppard ordered, relieved when the scientist moved away from the gate as it was struck by several strong beams. There was no way they were going to escape using the gate and John grabbed Ronan under the arms, dragging him toward the relative safety of the trees as McKay and Teyla covered them. He released his hold on Ronan and laid down covering fire until Teyla and Rodney reached them. "Teyla, who the hell are they?"

"I have never seen those ships," Teyla answered and turned to find Joliquin had taken cover nearby. "Who are they?"

"They showed up four moons ago and threatened to burn us out if we did not give them what they wanted," she answered.

"What exactly did they want?" Sheppard asked. Ducking back as one of the ships hovered nearby.

"They are slavers and parasites and they wanted to take some of our young people," Joliquin told them.

"You don't seem that old yourself!" Sheppard observed, firing at the ship as it moved closer to their location and several beams shattered the lives of half a dozen of Joliquin's people. "Move back!"

Ronan had regained consciousness, but was still dazed and Rodney grabbed his arm to help the big Setedan move further back in the dense brush. Sheppard and Teyla fired several rounds, but the pulsating blue white streams continued to rain down around them, setting the dry brush ablaze and forcing the Villages and SG team further back.

"Oh shit!" McKay snapped, staring out at the dark abyss spread out before him. He'd barely managed to keep Ronan from tumbling into the pit, and was unable to keep his balance as he fell backward into Teyla. They both went down amidst flowering bushes that held thorns similar to rose bushes, but ignored the sharp barbs as Sheppard and Joliquin reached them and helped the trio to stand.

"We need to find a way out of here now!" Sheppard warned and turned to Joliquin. "Is there anyplace nearby where we can hide until they leave?" 

"There's a small cave on the other side of the stargate…this way," Joliquin ordered.

"Can you make it, Ronan?" Sheppard asked, concerned about his friend.

"Go…don't wait for me!" Ronan said, and aimed his weapon at the ship that seemed to be bearing down on them.

"Rodney, take point…I've got our sixes," Sheppard said. The ship continued to fire on their last location as they pushed through the brush and hit the clearing at a dead run. Sheppard turned and fired over his shoulder, but his weapon was ineffective against the ship following them. He could almost hear the blue stream of fire as the ship fired and tumbled headlong into the brush at the opposite end of the clearing. He rolled and came to his feet, launching several shots at the ship and praying they had time to make it to the relative safety of the cave.

"Sheppard, look out!" McKay shouted and was nearly hypnotized by the sight of the beam barely missing his friend. "Sheppard, hurry!"

John heard the fear in McKay's voice and dove through the opening of the cave as the familiar crackling fire of the beams reached his ears. He rose to his knees and found himself facing the entrance, his weapon held tight against his shoulder as several of Joliquin's people were cut down. He spotted the male who'd ordered them to give up their weapons and shouted for him and the others with him to take cover. "Over here!" Sheppard cried and was glad to see several more people join them in the small cave that was quickly becoming crowded, but he could live with that, they all could if it came right down to it.

"Get back from the opening!" Ronan shouted, but there was no real need to do so as several of the newcomers shifted to the back, allowing Sheppard and his team to lay down covering fire in an effort to keep the ship from getting closer. The craft was nearly three times the size of the Atlantis Puddle Jumper and whoever the pilot was had already earned Sheppard's respect. The being was quite capable of manipulating the ship until it settled directly in front of the cave's entrance. He waited for the door to open and fired at the creature that tried to exit and was rewarded when there was a sharp his as if water hit sizzling, hot grease.

"They'll be coming out the back of the ship as well," Joliquin warned.

"Rodney, keep your eyes open!" Sheppard ordered and turned to the female. "Is there another entrance?"

"There was one years ago, but it's caved in over the years," she answered.

"Teyla, you and Ronan go see if there's any way through back there," the colonel asked, firing at a second being that was exiting the craft. "Ugly critters aren't they?"

"They don't need Halloween costumes," McKay answered, his voice filled with fear, yet he would never contemplate leaving Sheppard to face the enemy alone. He spotted several creatures attacking two of Joliquin's people and fired at the one closest to him. The firefight continued, but he had no way of keeping track of time as they used up most of their firepower in an effort to keep the survivors safe, but there seemed to be far too many attackers. "We're going to be overrun by them if we don't do something soon!"

"We need to destroy the ship before they have a chance to take Joliquin's people and decide we're expendable!"

"Don't you mean ships?" McKay asked.

"One problem at a time, Rodney and right now that ship's our biggest problem," the colonel answered.

"How do you propose to do that?"

"C4," Sheppard answered and blasted the door before it could open completely.

"Oh, and I suppose they're going to invite us in?"

"Not us…me," Sheppard said. "You have the detonator and at my signal I want you to blow the damn thing."

"Before or after you escape?"

"After," Sheppard said and began working on the C4. It was a simple, but effective explosive when attached to a remote detonator and Sheppard knew he'd have to get inside and plant the explosive before the creature's realized they were there. John knew they couldn't hold out much longer and although this seemed to be foolhardy, he didn't see any other way of dealing with the craft and the creatures. At least if the ship was destroyed they'd only be dealing with the beings that looked like a cross between an Ape and an octopus with just as many arms.

"You ready?" McKay asked.

"Think so, just don't blow it until I'm clear!"

"I won't," McKay vowed. He watched as Sheppard moved toward the ship, surprised that the ape like beings seemed totally unaware of his presence as he reached the partially open door.

"Where's he going?" Teyla asked.

"He's going to blow the damn ship!" McKay answered.

"Is he crazy? He'll never get in there!" Teyla observed.

"If there's one thing you should have learned about Sheppard, Teyla, it's that never is not in his vocabulary," McKay assured her. "Look at him…his hair isn't even out of place!"

"Rodney, his hair is always out of place," Teyla said with a grin in spite of the dangerous circumstances. She fired her weapon, taking down another of the creatures before ducking back as a stream of blue-white light shot across the cave opening.

"I thought these things were slavers?"

"According to Joliquin they are, but it appears when they were told no by the high council they decided to wipe out the villagers as a lesson to others," Teyla explained.

"Figures," McKay said and watched as Sheppard ducked inside the craft. In between firing at their attackers and checking Ronan's progress, he kept glancing at his watch, willing the seconds to become minutes and praying that Sheppard would reappear.

AAAAAA

John Sheppard had learned long ago how to be cautious and keep things simple and right now that's exactly what he was doing. The creatures seemed to be concentrating on the back door to exit the craft and that was just fine by him. The smell when he'd slipped through the narrow opening had burned his nostrils, reminding him of sulphur and sour milk and it grew worse as he moved deeper into the ship. There were rows of small, medium and large size cages that ran the length of the hallway leading deeper into the ship and John thought he heard several cries for help, but right now he had real people who needed him to do his job. Their lives depended on him being successful, and he'd check out the cages if he had time.

The C4 was tucked into his shirt and he held his weapon at ready in case he ran into one of the creatures, but the ship was silent and John reached the engine room. It was quick work to set the C4 around the ships main engines and he hoped the fuel would ignite when McKay detonated the charge.

Sheppard stood with his back against the wall for several seconds, but when there was no movement in the corridor he stepped out and headed back the way he'd come. He cautiously made his way toward the area where he thought the cries had come from and soon found two cages that held Joliquin's people. He found the release mechanism and fired at it, motioning for the duo to follow him out of the ship before they had a chance to say anything.

John knew he was in trouble when the sickening odor increased as they moved past an open doorway and one of the ape creatures stepped through. One of its four tendril like appendages held a strange looking weapon and Sheppard's gun was knocked from his hand by another of the suction covered arms. "Get out of here!" he ordered and was relieved when the two former captives raced toward the open doorway. He struggled with the flailing arm and tried to knock the weapon away, but felt something burn across his chest as the creature used its extra arms to its advantage.

Sheppard fought to escape from the creature, struggling to get to the door, but it was stronger than anything he'd ever come up against and he was soon caught in a body crushing hold as they stumbled to the partially open door. He felt sharp pinpricks on his chest, arms, and legs and knew the small suction cups were sucking the life from him. His head began to swim and he tried to keep from passing out and briefly wondered if the apelike being was injecting some kind of paralyzing agent into his bloodstream.

John fought to stay conscious and lifted his head, searching for any means of escape as they reached the open doorway. He looked into the creature's bulbous mouth and swore he saw row upon row of razor sharp teeth. The breath alone was enough to make him sick and still he would not give in to the darkness that beckoned to him. "You should open tr…trade talks w…with us…Listerine w…would do you won…wonders," he snarled, but received only a series of grunts and clicks from his captor.

John turned his head and watched as McKay left the safety of the cave, the detonator held out in front of him and screaming something that sounded like his name. "Blow it! God Damn you, McKay, blow it now!"

AAAAAAA

Rodney had seen Joliquin's people exit the ship and it seemed like the creatures were retreating for some unknown reason. Ignoring the sharp cry from Teyla, he stepped outside and held the detonator in front of him as he spotted John Sheppard in the doorway, but his heart skipped several beats when he saw what was attached to his friend. It took several seconds to realize the screams he heard from Sheppard were actually words and he shook his head in denial.

"Blow it!" Sheppard managed, blood spilling from his mouth and running down his chin.

"No…Teyla, shoot the bastard!" McKay screamed.

"I can't without killing him!" Teyla snapped.

"Blow it! God Damn you, McKay, blow it now!"

"Sheppard…"

"Rodney, you have to!" Teyla said as more and more of the creatures came from the back of the craft.

"McKay…please…just do it," Sheppard said as the bulbous fixture he thought was a mouth formed into a cone that ended in a point aimed directly at his left eye. He screamed as pain shot through his body and John Sheppard knew he was dying as he tried to will McKay's hand to press down on the detonator.

"Rodney…"

"I know damn it!" McKay spat, unshed tears in his eyes as he watched the creature slowly feed on his friend. "God forgive me!"

Teyla watched as Rodney McKay's hand descended on the button and grabbed his arm as an explosion rocked the craft. She barely had time to get him away as the ship seemed to implode in on itself as if an anti matter generator had triggered an enormous vacuum like space. There was no time to escape the explosion and she felt as if she was weightless as her body flew backward, landing in a heap several hundred feet away from the craft. She lifted her head and realized there was absolutely nothing left of the ship, and no sign of Colonel John Sheppard anywhere.

"Oh, God, I killed him," Rodney McKay struggled with his guilt as the darkness reached out and dragged him under.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Remember, Never to Forget---3

**Present time---- **

"Rodney, did you hear me?"

"Huh," McKay whispered unaware that he'd tuned everything out while he relived his worst nightmare.

"I asked you if you're sleeping all right," Beckett repeated.

"Honestly, Carson, I don't remember the last time I slept…oh, wait, yes I do…that would have been the night before I killed Colonel Sheppard."

"Rodney, you didn't…"

"Yes, I did, Carson, and there's nothing you can do to change that. I pushed the damn button and watched as he disintegrated with that damn ship. Nothing you or anyone else can say or do anything to change that," McKay vowed.

"Rodney, I want you to spend the night in the infirmary. I'll give you something to help you sleep…"

"I don't need…"

"Don't make me pull the CMO card on you Rodney because I will if I have to," Beckett told him and placed a hand on the man's shoulder when he witnessed a slight tremble in McKay's hands.

"I saw him, Carson," McKay whispered.

"Who?" Beckett asked softly.

"Sheppard…I saw him at that market."

"Rodney, we both know that's not possible. God help me I wish it was, but Colonel Sheppard is gone and it's time you forgave yourself for something you couldn't do anything about," Beckett said and saw the guilt in the other man's eyes. "It will get better, Rodney."

"Will it?" McKay asked, turning away from the physician and lying back on the bed. He closed his eyes and thought about how many people he could consider close friends. If he was brutally honest he could count them on one hand and still have a leftover or two. That wasn't something he was proud of, but it came down to his inability to let people see the real Rodney McKay, the one who had feelings that could easily be hurt.

"I'll be right back, Rodney," Beckett assured the scientist. He knew McKay was holding on to the guilt of pushing the detonator and wished there was some way to get through to him. Unfortunately, for now, Rodney McKay was not ready to forgive himself for something that was no one's fault, but the creatures who'd tried to capture the team.

"How is he, Carson?" Elizabeth Weir asked.

"Honestly, Elizabeth, he's like a train headed for a brick wall with no brakes," Beckett answered, his Scottish accent coming through loud and clear. "You do know he really believes he saw Colonel Sheppard at that market?"

"I know and I'm going to have Major Lorne's team go back and do a little investigating in case…"

"Elizabeth, do you think that's a good idea? Rodney's feeling enough guilt. Until he faces the fact that Colonel Sheppard is dead and he did the only thing possible in an impossible situation he'll continue to see Colonel Sheppard around every corner," Beckett told her.

"That's why Lorne's team is going to check it out. I'd rather not tell Rodney unless there's something concrete," Weir explained.

"Do you think it's possible, Elizabeth?"

"That John Sheppard is alive?" Weir asked and Beckett nodded once. "Not according to the reports. Teyla and Rodney both saw the ship disintegrate with Sheppard on board. I think Rodney is hanging on to the guilt of being put in that situation."

"I'd be worried if he was feeling guilty…they were in a life or death situation and Rodney made the only choice he could."

"I know," Weir said. "Is he fit for duty or are you putting him on medical leave?"

"He hasn't been sleeping much so I'm going to keep him here overnight and give him something to help him sleep," Beckett explained.

"All right…keep me updated on whether he should be removed form the active roster," Weir said and turned to walk away. John Sheppard's loss had affected everyone on Atlantis and she knew it could still cost them another valued member of the expedition. If McKay continued to cling to the grief stricken guilt they could very well lose him as well.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

The voice was back, the one that haunted his memories, but only brought pain when he reached out to it, blinding pain that wiped out his very existence before waking on a slab in some kind of lab. He remembered something…a creature of some kind feeding on him just before everything exploded in a brilliant display of pyrotechnics that would have made…would have made who? Or what? God he couldn't think anymore.

He rolled to his left side and forced his eyes open; staring in awe at the rows of beds like the one he lay on. Most were unoccupied for now, but he knew that would change when the next slaver ship arrived. There were creatures of all shapes and sizes being trained for 'jobs' in the mines or worse yet in the beds of their owners. He knew if given the choice he would take the mines, but so far he'd been a simple companion to a female who treated him with some sympathy at his plight. He knew that could also change because no one stayed in the holding area for long.

There were several slavers interested in purchasing him, but so far his captor had been unwilling to sell him for any amount of credits or money. She'd taken him into the market today and that's when he'd heard the voice, the one from his nightmares and he'd cringed at the thought of being sold to him, but his owner had immediately ordered him chained and gagged and dragged back to her ship. He'd spent the night curled up like a dog at the foot of her bed before being returned to the holding chamber.

He looked down at the chain wrapped around his ankle and reached down to touch it, but sat back when a voice spoke to him from the bed behind him. He turned and looked at a male, twice his own size with fur covering every exposed inch of his body. He had no way of knowing the humanoids name, but he guessed him to be very young.

"Who are you…who are these people?"

"Slavers…they capture and sell…"

"Be quiet back there or you will be punished!" the order came from a male stationed at the door.

"What's your name?" he asked, ignoring the warning, but lowering his voice.

"I am called Tyrel of Glione's clan. He will be angered when I don't return with the hunting party. He will look for me. How long have you been here?"

"Days…weeks…months. I don't know anymore."

"What is your name?"

"I don't remember…they call me John, but I don't know if that was my name before…I don't know…I…" He cried out as something struck his lower back and he fell back on the bed even as Tyrel's keening wail echoed through the chamber.

"You were warned, John, don't make me punish you further."

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to offend…I…"

"Quiet and sleep or go to the mines early," the guard told him.

"I will sleep," John vowed, turning away from Tyrel and closing his eyes. Tyrel's cries had stopped, but John could hear a soft purring sound that seemed to sooth his pain. Was that Tyrel's doing or one of the others? For now, John could only take solace in the easing of his discomfort and closed his eyes. Sleep was a long time coming and when it did his dreams were filled with nightmare images of talons and white hot explosions that left him with fire in his lungs before ultimately being pulled from the jaws of death. Just before he 'died' he heard someone calling his name, but the voice faded and left him to utter despair and cloying darkness.

John heard voices and opened his eyes to find his owner standing over him. She could be cruel when she wanted and there were times when he'd seen that cruel streak and even worse had felt it when he'd displeased her in some way. He knew the rules, and one of those was to keep your eyes downcast when she spoke to him, but he often defied that one and she would smile before taking his chin between her fingers and forcing his head down. It was his only show of defiance and one she'd allowed him to keep during their time together.

There seemed to be something different in the way she looked at him and he raised his chin, staring straight into her eyes, but there was none of the mirth he usually caught there. Her silver eyes were awash with luminescence as if she'd been crying, but he knew that could not be. His owner never cried, she was as tough as nails and cold hearted when it came to her slaves.

"The time has come, John. I'm afraid I must be rid of you before you cause me to lose everything I worked so damned hard for." As high Priestess she could choose to keep any of the slaves, and had toyed with the idea of keeping this one, but someone had recognized him and it would not do to be compromised now. Humans were hard to come by and this one was special considering her contacts said he was part of the Atlantis expedition. Unfortunately the chance encounter yesterday meant this one had to go, no matter how much it displeased her to sell him.

"What have I done wrong?" John asked, wincing at the tight grip she had on his chin.

"Besides bewitching me with your eyes…nothing, but you are a danger to my business and it has become necessary to get rid of you," she told him. "Bekha will take you to the stage and I know you will be the highlight of the slave market today."

"Yes, Mistress," John whispered and stood up. A collar was placed around his neck and a four foot length of chain was attached to it and then linked to several other slaves who would be put on sale today. John had somewhat mixed feelings about being sold, but when Tyrel was hooked to the chain behind him he felt his protective instincts kick in when the furry humanoid showed his fear. "It's okay, Tyrel, just don't fight them and you'll be fine.

"I want to return to my home…"

"Be silent!" Bekha ordered and lifted his hand to strike Tyrel.

"Leave him alone!" John snapped.

"Don't ever open your mouth to speak unless you have permission, Slave!" Bekha warned, but stopped when the high Priestess warned him to leave the slaves alone. Bekha angrily looked over the ten males who would join the ten females on the auction block today. It had taken a lot out of his mistress to sell the human, but he knew the man would bring a hefty price with his dark hair color and well honed body. If John was lucky he would be sold to a female who wanted him as a mate, Bekha hoped he wouldn't be that lucky. The female buyers rarely came to the slave sales and he hadn't seen any in the special guest area today so maybe the human was about to find out what it was like to be a real slave, not some well kept pet.

John walked out of the sleep chamber with the other slaves, wincing when the bright pink orb of the sun stabbed at eyes that were not accustomed to the sunshine. He kept his eyes downcast until they adjusted and wondered why the sunlight seemed so wrong. His vision blurred and for several seconds he glimpsed a bright yellow orb that gave off the warmth his body craved, but all to soon the memory was gone and he was struggling along with the other slaves.

John could hear the familiar sounds of the people waiting to bid on him and the others and felt disgusted at the thought of being examined in front of them. He'd witnessed other sales and knew there were some buyers who enjoyed degrading the slaves by requesting a public examination before the bidding started.

"John, you and Tyrel will be on stage together and I want you both on your best behavior. Displease the High Priestess in any way and I will use the whip to rip the skin from your back. Understood?"

"Yes, Bekha," John answered, cringing when he heard the crack of the whip behind him. "He doesn't understand, Bekha…"

"Silence, John!" the burly guard warned as the first two males were marched onto the stage before leaning close to John and whispering. "I am going to enjoy seeing you on display, John. You won't have the High Priestess to hide behind this time and I know there are several buyers who will enjoy your humiliation."

John swallowed convulsively, fighting the urge to lash out because it would only bring him more pain and punishment. When he'd first woken to find he had no memories of his past and that he was now a slave to the whims of other, John had received more than his share of punishments. There'd been days when he could barely lift his head because of the brutal beating he'd endured. Then the mistress had come and she'd ordered him taken form the slave quarters and brought to her chambers. Once there he'd been cleaned and checked over by a 'physician' and before long he was on his feet and working in the house. He'd even been allowed to accompany her on several missions…missions?

Why did that word always stand out for him? The trips to the markets were not missions, simply trips for the High Priestess to indulge in her whim of buying and selling. There was no mission involved. He frowned as the voice repeated in his mind and knew he should remember, but it slipped away and was drowned out by the roar of the crowd. John's head snapped up as the duo in front of him were released and marched out onto the stage. He silently cursed the fact that he'd been so engrossed in thought that he'd let the time slip away form him and it would not be long before he and Tyrel were marched out to meet their destiny. A destiny he wished would change his life for the good, but that was not likely. A soft sound from behind him made him realize Tyrel needed him and his protective instincts kicked in.

"We'll be okay, Tyrel," John soothed, turning and placing a hand on the young male's shoulder.

"I want to go home…I don't want this."

"None of us do, Tyrel, but we don't have a choice right now. There may come a time when we'll find a way to escape and return ho…home, but right now there are too many of them and we wouldn't have a chance…"

"You were told to be quiet, John!" Bekha warned and brought his stick down across John's shoulders, sending excruciating pain through his upper body. It lasted less than a minute, but the memory would stay with him forever.

John felt hands helping him stand and was slightly surprised to find Tyrel was the one helping him. He felt tiny beads of sweat on his forehead and smiled thinly when he swayed, but managed to stand. "Thank you…"

"Quiet, John!" Bekha snapped. "It's time for you and Tyrel to make your debut. Don't go doing anything stupid or I'll use this on you again."

John sucked in a deep breath and move forward, hating the way he was forced to shuffle once Bekha attached the length of gold chain to his ankles. He felt like an old man who'd suffered for years with arthritis and could barely move his legs. The stairs were next to impossible, but he managed until he neared the top. Tyrel miss stepped below him and dragged him backward. He flailed, reaching out and grabbing the railing as he felt the sharp pull on his neck and ankles. Just before he lost his grip, strong hands grabbed his arms and pulled him upright.

"Don't want you breaking that neck quite yet, John," Bekha said with a grin and led the two males onto the stage. "This is lot number seven on today's venue. Two males…one is human and the other is from the planet Goliaden and is just starting to grow his fur putting his age at around 15. He should give you many years of servitude and is easily trained with the right tools. The human male is probably 30 to 35 cycles and may not look like much right now, but I can assure you he is very strong and has a stubborn streak that makes him quite interesting…"

"Do they have names?" a large male asked from the back row.

"The human is known only as John. The Goliaden is called Tyrel of Glione," Bekha answered.

"I'm interested, but I want to make sure they are disease free," the big male said. "Is it possible to have one of my physicians examine both males right now?"

"If that is your wish, Special Envoy Sharpel," Bekha said, grinning as he ordered the other attendants to bring forward the two slabs used to restrain the slaves while the private physicians did a thorough examination. He turned to the two males, clad in white silken tunics and smiled. "Remove them."

"No," John spat, angered at this newest atrocity.

"Either remove them or I will have two of the guards remove them for you!" Bekha warned, smiling when the human stood his ground. "Dentac, hold him!"

John could sense movement behind him and tried to turn, but was stopped as his something wrapped around his upper body and held him immobile as Bekha moved closer. The guard's eyes were like icy sapphires set in a ring of onyx as he stood before him, but John showed no fear as he struggled to get free of the restraints. Bekha quickly rid him of the tunic, leaving John wearing nothing as he was lifted and placed on the cold, stone slab. John could hear the cheers and jeers from the spectators as straps crossed his body at different intervals until he was completely at the mercy of his captors.

"Does he always fight the restrains so hard?"

"Yes, it is part of what makes him unique. Most slaves know when it is time to stop fighting, but John has always resisted the slightest attempts to restrain him," Bekha answered the physician honestly.

"He looks malnourished," the slim male standing opposite Bekha observed.

"He's not. I can assure you the mistress kept him well fed and he has had an easy life in captivity so far," the guard answered, a hint of a malicious smile on his face. "I'm sure that will change if Special Envoy Sharpel is the successful bidder."

"Envoy Sharpel does like to keep a tight rein on his property. Now, John, my name is Xanadar and I am physician for Envoy Sharpel. If you relax I will do this as quickly as possible," the slim figure offered.

John could feel the man's long slender fingers probing his upper body, paying close attention to the corded muscles in his neck before forcing him to open his mouth. The fingers probed his gum, but when John tried to bite he received a jolt across the chest from Bekha's special weapon.

"He still has all his teeth and I don't see any gum diseases. He has been marked with a whip, but is healing very well," Xanadar explained loud enough for the spectators to hear.

John could only submit to the man's examination as the pain from the jolt raged through his upper body, sending fiery tendrils along his nerves. He gasped when the man's hands touched upon his navel and slid further down, examining everything that made him a male in his world.

"He is well endowed and has both testes in place…"

John tried to block out the man's voice, but everything seemed to be heightened by the degrading show being put on for the creatures surrounding him. The cold fingers slid along his inner thighs, pinching the skin before moving further down. With each touch, John flinched, but could not escape the misery brought by the man's hands on his body. Flashes of memory, hidden from his mind for years came back and he trembled in the restraints, unsure whether these memories were real or imagined. Right now it didn't matter because John felt he was already in hell and these people were his worst nightmare.

"He is a fine specimen and will make a fine addition to your collection," Xanadar told the people watching, making sure he looked at the man he worked for. The bidding would start as soon as the second male was examined and both were standing before the people interested in purchasing them.

John had no idea how it happened, but he was soon standing on his feet next to Tyrel and being ogled by the people who'd come for the slave auction. He struggled, but his arms were pinned behind him and locked to a steel bar at his elbows, while Bekha took control and began to speak to the buyers.

"As you can see there two males were left until last because they are the best of the best. The High Priestess had her heart set on keeping John, but she has found it is an embarrassment of riches to keep so many. The opening bid is set at 500 credits for the pair and although that may seem high for untrained slaves, my mistress feels they are worth it…"

"500 credits!"

"We have 500 credits from Minister Hawk…"

"1000 credits!"

"1500 credits…"

"I have 1500 credits…do we have anymore bids…come on people…look at how fine they are. Surely you…"

"5000 credits!"

"Now that's more like it. 5000 credits from Minister Hawk! Any other bids?"

"5500…"

"5500 from Special Envoy…"

"6000!"

"6500!" came form someone near the back.

"10,000 credits!"

"10,000 credits from Minister Hawk…any more takers?" Bekha asked, knowing they'd already doubled what they'd expected to get for this particular sale. He hid his surprise when another bid was forthcoming from Sharpel.

"11,000 credits!"

"11,000 going once…"

"15,000!"

"15,500!"

"20,000," came from Hawk and there was silence in the spectators as the two bidders competed for the two males.

"Special Envoy Sharpel, the bid is in your corner!"

"I'm done," Sharpel said, angered that he'd been out bid, but understanding that if he went any higher he would have to justify it to the other council members as to why he'd spent such an exorbitant amount on two slaves.

"Very well," Bekha said, slightly disappointed that the bidding seemed to have come to an end. "If there are no further bids the slaves are sold to War Minister Hawk of Sheyenne."

John watched as the warrior made his way toward the stage. The man was well over six feet tall, bald headed, bronze skinned, with eyes as cold as the arctic oceans. His arms could be described as medium sized tree trunks and he towered over John without saying a word. The man's eyes seemed to drill right through him, but John was able to smile in spite of the dangerous behemoth before him. The smile earned him a slap to the face that drove him backward against Bekha who pushed him away.

"You will learn your place, Human," Hawk warned.

"Go to hell!" John spat, cursing as the man placed a hand on each of his shoulders and pressed him down to his knees.

"Your mouth will get you in trouble, Human," Hawk said, grinning and revealing two gold teeth in a row of perfect white. "Keep it closed now or I will have you gagged…"

"I…"

"Will learn your place," Hawk told him and nodded to whoever was standing behind his slaves.

John glared at the man towering over him as something was placed over his head. He kept his lips sealed as a metal ball was placed before his mouth and refused to open until a blow to his lower back sent pain screaming through his body. As soon as his mouth parted the ball was forced past his teeth and a strap was fastened to both sides and brought around the back. John's breath caught in his throat as the ends pulled against the corners of his mouth and thought he tasted blood.

"That's better," Hawk said and pulled him to his feet. "Now, Homan, you will behave yourself or Tyrel will pay dearly for your actions. Do I make myself clear?"

John turned and saw the look of fear on Tyrel's face and nodded that he understood perfectly. He stood tall, staring at the man, but was forced to lower his head when a hand was placed at the back of his neck and squeezed until he had no choice. He struggled, but there was no leeway as his head began to ache and his eyes watered.

"You are to keep your eyes down when you are in the company of those above your station, Human. Right now you are lower than the lowlife scum that's found in the bottom of the cesspools on my world and you will be treated as such until you prove you are worthy to be in my presence!" Hawk turned and walked through the crowd, smiling at the sound of shuffling feet behind him. John was going to be a worthy fighter, but it would take some training before he would be fit to face real foes.

John kept his head down, but every now and then he lifted his head and tried to keep track of where his new owner was taking him. He was led to a ship stationed near the front of the slave enclosures and was pulled inside. The interior of the ship was dark, but quickly lit up when Hawk pressed his hand against a console. The area they were in was like a holding cell until the doors closed behind him and they were led deeper into the ship. John's legs ached from the chain surrounding his ankles and he was soon shoved into a small cell and told to sit on the edge of the cot. There was no choice, but to obey and he sat down and his arms released, but before he could do anything they were pulled above his head and attached to a hook above his head. His ankles were left in the chains and attached to the end of the cot.

"This is where you will stay until we reach my world, Human. Sleep while you can because when we reach Sheyenne you will be forced to work for your sleeping quarters and meals."

John closed his eyes and relived the explosion that had wiped out his former life. He tried to latch onto the faces that sometimes flitted across his mind like flashes of memories, but he couldn't quite grasp them. A name formed on his lips, but fell on deaf ears as the darkness crept over his mind and body.

"Rodney…remember…never to for…get…"

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Remember, Never to Forget---4

PG-2743 was nothing spectacular to Major Evan Lorne and he knew coming here was a long shot from the very beginning. Teyla and Ronan had both seen Rodney hit the destruct button and witnessed John Sheppard's final seconds before the alien ship disintegrated. No matter how badly they wanted to believe the colonel was alive, there was too much evidence to the contrary. They'd been searching the market, but had yet to find the dealer McKay had been speaking with when he thought he'd spotted the missing colonel.

"Major, there doesn't seem to be anything new here," Lieutenant Anna Sanders tol him. She had a great deal of respect for Major Lorne and would follow the man through hell and high water without question, but this felt like a fool hardy expedition.

"Meeks said McKay was checking out a table with unique items…that usually means something that fascinates McKay's overactive mind," Lorne told her. "Take Norris and check out the tables along the back row. I'm going to talk to a couple of the merchants near the east gate."

"Yes, Sir," Sanders said and motioned for Norris to follow her.

Lorne made his way through the throng of people who were buying and selling shouting out bids and taking credit for making the biggest sale of the day. He glanced left and right, amazed at the wide selection of wares being offered from table to table. He spotted several garishly decorated vendors trying to get the buyers to notice their tables, and shook his head, smiling as he passed a pretty young red head female who danced in an outfit similar to the ones worn by belly dancers on earth. Ignoring the beautiful performance he moved to a table that caught his eye.

Lorne moved past the dancers and waited to speak to the man who was busy hocking his wares to a young couple who seemed quite interested in the vials and beakers the merchant was selling. Something told Lorne this was the right table and he pretended to look at something that resembled one of the first microscopes he'd ever used. It was so out of date that it was considered antique in most circles and probably worth more money than he earned in a year.

"They are spectacular aren't they?" the merchant asked when he noticed Lorne's interest in one beaker in particular.

"Yes, they are."

"These are all made by hand and the intricate designs are of my own creation. Each piece takes several hours to carve and then must spend just the right amount of time in the hot box in order to crystallize. The one you are looking at is one of a kind as are all my pieces," the merchant explained.

"You do good work…a friend of mine was here a couple of days ago and he was interested in one of these, but he left in a hurry…"

"You mean that crazy man who was hollering about seeing someone?"

"Yes, I was wondering if you saw anyone that day."

"I see lots of people every day. It comes with the territory. We set up this market here because there are many people who travel through the crossroads and they wish to buy little trinkets," the man told Lorne.

"Did you happen to see the man my McKay saw?"

"Maybe…just hard to remember considering how many people come by this place," the merchant said rubbing at his whiskered chin before holding out his hand.

"I have ten Shoclaws, but you don't get them until I get some answers," Lorne told him and saw the greedy man's smile disappear. He reached inside his backpack and pulled out several pictures, each one was of John Sheppard taken at different intervals over the last six months. "Take a look at these and tell me if you've seen him in the market."

"Is he worth a lot of Shoclaws?"

"No, but he is a friend and if you help me find out if he is here then I can promise you more than ten Shoclaws," Lorne answered.

"I am not sure, but I can find out if you leave these with me. I am traveling deep into the mountains and will return in two lunar cycles. There are people in the mountains who would know if he is here or if he ever was here," the merchant told him.

"But you never saw him?"

"Not that I can be sure of…but he does look familiar and is coloring would be desirable to High Priestess Shazzia of Denubia," the man answered. "She can be very good to her slaves…"

"Slaves?" Lorne snapped.

"Yes, she deals in slavery and has been known to keep several men as her own personal slaves. If your friend is with her he may not want to be rescued…"

"John would never stay with anyone without checking in with his team," Lorne said, turning when he heard a familiar voice.

"Major, we didn't find anything. No one seems to have seen or heard anything about Colonel Sheppard," Sanders told him.

"Colonel…you never said anything about him being in the military," the merchant snapped.

"Does it matter?"

"It might….there are many worlds that would pay dearly for military slaves. If his rank is known to be a powerful one he could very well be bought by the slavers and…well there are stories about how they torture military people for secrets. I'm not saying that's what happened to your friend…I'm not even saying he was here, but if he was and the High Priestess found out who he is he could be…well, let's just say it's not a pretty picture," the merchant told them.

"Where does the High Priestess live?" Sanders asked.

"She's an off worlder, but she visits the market every few lunar cycles. There is no way of predicting exactly when her next visit will be," the man said.

"Can you contact her?" Lorne asked.

"Are you kidding…she doesn't speak to people like me. I'll try to get an audience with her when she visits again."

"Will you contact us if she visits again?" Lorne asked.

"I guess...but how would I do that?"

Lorne quickly explained to the man how he could be contacted and felt a hint of hope that maybe John Sheppard was not dead. The problem was that meant that he was hurt or being held prisoner and unable to contact Atlantis. If he was alive, they'd find a way to bring him home. "Thank you, Mr…"

"People just call me Drakar," the merchant said.

"Thank you, Drakar," Lorne said, and rejoined the rest of his team as they made their way toward the gate.

Drakar waited for them to leave before closing down his booth. If the High Priestess' prisoner was Colonel John Sheppard then he stood to make a tidy profit with the information that he was military. All he had to do was contact the High Priestess and tell her he had information on the man who'd recently accompanied her on several trips to the market. He looked at the pictures clutched tightly in his hand and was glad he hadn't told the visitors that he had seen the man on several occasions. There would have been no profit in it for him and Drakar was a man who enjoyed making a tidy profit.

**SGASGASGASGA **

Rodney McKay looked up from the lap top and nodded a greeting to Teyla and Ronan as they sat opposite him. He'd been released from the infirmary after spending twelve hours there sleeping under the influence of one of Beckett's concoctions. Now he was going through his files, burying himself in Atlantis and the need for further information on the base's inner workings.

"Rodney, you never touched your breakfast," Teyla said, slapping Ronan's hand when the man reached for a piece of toast.

"He's not eating it!" Ronan told her, but turned his attention to the food on his own tray.

"I'm not hungry," McKay told her, reaching for the cup, frowning when he found it empty. "Teyla, would you mind getting me a cup of coffee?"

"Certainly…as soon as you eat a piece of toast," Emmagan offered. "We would want you going into hypoglycemic shock."

"I told you I wasn't hungry…besides I put milk and sugar in the coffee that should make it a complete meal in a cup," McKay sniped.

"I don't think Carson would agree with that…one piece…one cup of coffee," Teyla reiterated.

"No point in arguing, McKay…she's got a stubborn streak that rivals Sheppard's…" Ronan told him and looked at the other man when he realized what he'd said. "Sorry…sometimes I just forget…"

"We all do," Teyla said, relieved when McKay picked up a slice of toast and nibbled at the corner.

"I still expect to see him come through the door," the Canadian told them.

"I think we all do," the Athosian offered. "John was a good friend, Rodney…I know how hard it was for you to push that button."

"Do you, Teyla…somehow I doubt that," McKay said and leaned back in his chair before speaking softly. "John Sheppard wasn't just a friend, Teyla, John was a buddy and it's not often a man can say that. I know I can be obnoxious…"

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Rodney…"

"I'm being honest, Teyla, just ask Ronan and he'll tell you the same thing and that's okay. I was a loner most of my life and would have happily stayed that way on Atlantis, but Sheppard wouldn't let me push him away. He was subtle…"

"John Sheppard…subtle?" Ronan asked.

"I know those words don't belong in the same sentence, but he could be when he wanted to be," McKay told him. "Sheppard wouldn't let me away with having my eureka moments. If I said something was impossible he'd look at me with his eyebrows rising as if he could read what I was thinking. Did you know he took the Mensa exam and passed, but he never joined the organization…"

"What is a Mensa?" Ronan asked.

"Mensa means table in Latin and stands for a round-table society, where race, color, creed, national origin, age, politics, educational or social background are irrelevant. To belong to Mensa a person must have an IQ higher than most people…normally in the top 2 of the population," McKay explained and knew he'd lost the two people across from him. "All right…maybe this is a better explanation. You all know I believe I'm smarter…"

"Than everyone?" Ronan teased.

"No…well yes…most people anyway and I am in the top 2...now John Sheppard is…was equal to me in that sense, but he chose not to follow through and became a…"

"Soldier," Teyla said and saw the Canadian's shoulders sag.

"Exactly…he gave his life…I took his life, Teyla, and I wish to God I'd never heard of Atlantis because it would mean I'd never opened myself up to that kind of loss," Rodney said sadly.

"So you regret knowing him?" Teyla asked.

"No…God no, but I regret having been put in the position and if it meant John Sheppard would still be alive then yes, I would rather not have known him at all," McKay said.

"If what you say is true then I am glad you met John Sheppard," Teyla said and watched the eyes closely as she finished her thoughts. "I'd hate to think what you would have been like before you met him."

"Believe me my sister Jeannie could tell you some stories," McKay told her, closing up his laptop and standing up.

"Don't you want that coffee?" Teyla asked.

"I do, but I'll take it with me…there's something I need to do," McKay said and turned away before they saw the pain in his eyes. He stopped at Sheppard's quarters, amazed that nothing had changed and no one had requested Sheppard's things be removed. He stepped inside and spotted the items he was looking for leaning against the far wall. There was something he could do in John Sheppard's memory and it had taken him this long to remember a promise he'd once made to himself.

John had asked him to join him in a game of golf, although there was really no game to it since all they could do was hit the ball into the ocean. It was something that brought Sheppard some peace of mind and it was something he was going to do. He left his laptop on the bed and picked up the golf bag, it was heavy, but he placed the strap over his shoulder and left the room. He knew the colonel's favorite spot and quickly made his way toward it, nodding at several people along the way until he exited onto the deck overlooking the lower levels of Atlantis.

"I'll never forget, John," McKay said and placed a row of golf balls on the deck before reaching for one of the golf clubs. He wasn't sure which one was which, but it didn't really matter because they belonged to the man whose memory he was honoring. Rodney took a deep breath and lifted his face to the sun as he shouted four and hit the ball, watching as it sailed out into the ocean. He continued to hit the ball, unaware that he'd garnered an audience that included Elizabeth Weir and Radek Zelenka. There was sadness in their eyes, but there was something else to and most people would recognize it as finally saying goodbye to a departed friend. By the time he hit the last ball, Rodney McKay was shaken to the core. "Goodbye, Sheppard, I wish I'd given you the chance to show me the nuances of the game," he said and turned to leave, surprised to find over a dozen people standing there.

"Well done, Rodney, John would have liked this," Weir told him.

"It felt right, Elizabeth," McKay told her and lifted the bag onto his shoulder before walking back inside, a touch of a smile on his face.

**SGASGASGASGA **

Elizabeth Weir looked up from the papers she'd been shuffling as Major Evan Lorne knocked on her door. "Come in, Major."

"Thank you, Dr. Weir," Lorne said and took the chair she motioned toward.

"Did you find anything?" Weir asked hopefully.

"I found the merchant Dr. McKay was talking to when he thought he saw Colonel Sheppard. His name is Drakar and he thought the Colonel looked familiar, but he wasn't sure. He's taking the pictures with him to some kind of mountain retreat and is going to show them around. If it was John Sheppard then he's a slave to some high priestess there," Lorne explained.

"Not by choice," the woman said.

"No way, but until I hear back from him there's not much we can do," Lorne told her, shifting uncomfortably in the chair.

"You don't trust Drakar do you?"

"No, I don't. There's something sleazy about him…he knows more than he let on."

"Do you think he's seen Sheppard?"

"Honestly, Dr. Weir, I think he saw him, but without concrete proof I'd hate to get everyone's hopes up," the major answered.

"So Rodney wasn't seeing things at the market?"

"Again I'd hate to get people's hopes up," Lorne told her. "I'm supposed to hear from Drakar when he returns, but if it's okay with you I'd like to take a team and see if we can't find this retreat on our own."

"Who would you take with you?" Weir asked.

"Ronan...because there's no better tracker in Atlantis and Teyla because of her ease with the people in this galaxy," Lorne answered.

"What about Rodney?"

"I doubt he'd be able to concentrate if he knows why we're going…"

"If he finds out the reason you're going…there'll be no stopping him," Weir said.

"I know… that's why I was hoping there'd be some life and death problem that requires his immediate attention," Lorne suggested.

"I'll see what I can do, but Rodney's not that easy to fool," Weir said.

"Does this mean I have your permission to take a team to PG-2743?"

"Yes, but don't be surprised if McKay gets wind of it and asks to tag along," Weir said by way of dismissal. She thought about the memorial service they'd had for Colonel John Sheppard and how hard it had been to finally admit that he was lost to them forever and sighed tiredly. Was it possible the Memorial service had been premature? God, she hoped so because if it was Atlantis would someday welcome home a missing son.

**SGASGASGASGA **

John waited with the other slaves as their new owner examined each one before motioning for them to get dressed in the simple garb that marked him as property. It consisted of black pants with a drawstring at the waits and a cream colored tunic that hung low enough to cover the drawstring. There were socks and boots that came up above the ankle and had laces to tie them in pace. John sat on the edge of his bunk and dressed quickly before taking his place beside Tyrel. The young Goliaden was terrified, but he'd managed to control his emotions and stood tall next to John and the others.

"Eyes forward and listen well because I am not a man who likes to repeat himself. My name is Hawk, but each of you will call me master and learn that it is an honor to be in my presence. I am not just the ruler of this world, but the owner and that means my word is the law. If you think you can escape be my guest, but be warned that you will pay dearly for the attempt….I neither forgive…nor forget and I promise you will not like the punishment."

John lifted his head and looked at the man who was speaking and knew he would never bow down, simply because it was not in his nature. His eyes met the obsidian depths of his 'master' and saw the hint of humor on the man's face.

"I know there are those of you who will fight me and I welcome this as it shows character," Hawk said and stood in front of the smaller human. "Take John here…he doesn't have any memory of his life before the High Priestess rescued him, but I would be willing to bet he's a skilled fighter and has never bowed down to anyone. Isn't that true, John?"

"Who are you that I should bow down?" John asked coldly.

"I am your rightful master. I know you understand the terms Alpha and Beta and that on your world you would be considered the former, but here, in my home I play Alpha to your Beta and order you to kneel before me," Hawk ordered.

"Go to hell!" John spat.

"I have no idea where hell is, but it doesn't sound pleasant and I do enjoy pleasure," Hawk said and walked behind the human slave. He placed a hand on the man's neck and began to put pressure there, slowly, painstakingly pushing the slave to his knees. "I will bend that stiff neck of yours until you admit who is your rightful Lord and Master."

"Never hap…happen," John snapped, but he was driven to his knees as the powerful hand pressed against the muscles in his neck, easily proving that Hawk could make him do as ordered. He felt the others watching him as the darkness surrounded him, but he would not give in and soon felt his body dropped like a stone in water as the man slowly cut off his air supply. The hand left his neck, but he couldn't move, couldn't breathe, but he lifted his eyes and met the obsidian depths once more and thought he saw a hint of pride in the man's face.

"So, you will not bow down easily, John, but there will come a time when you will realize your true place in life," Hawk said and bent down to pick up the slave. He'd used a technique he'd learned early in his life, one that could incapacitate the victim for several hours, yet he would be aware of what was happening around him. This slave was indeed and Alpha, but in this world there was only room for one such being and he'd long ago proven that he was indeed an Alpha male. He lifted the slave into his arms and gently cradled him against his body, smiling at the look of horror in the human's eyes. This man was special, but he would have to learn who his true master was and Hawk had a feeling it would take more than a few broken bones to prove it.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Remember, Never to Forget---5

Radek Zelenka was frustrated, but he knew he could easily figure out the problem on his own, but Elizabeth had come to him and asked for a favor. He had no idea why she wanted McKay's attention drawn away from the gateroom, but he didn't argue and had decided to swallow his pride and ask McKay for help. He took a deep breath as he heard footsteps behind him and tried not to show his own irritation.

"All right, Radek, what cataclysmic disaster needs my undivided attention now?" McKay asked, placing his laptop on the desk next to Zelenka's.

"There seems to be a problem with the power supply in the labs…specifically the med labs," Zelenka answered.

"Has Carson been practicing voodoo again and burning out the regulators?" the Canadian asked.

"No, initially it began in the botany labs, specifically Katie's department," Zelenka stated and showed McKay his computer screen. "See the power drops are here and here and then continued across the grid until the med labs. Those are the only departments affected so far."

"Have you tried running a diagnostic?"

"Of course…nothing shows up except for several fluctuations in the main power grid," Zelenka told him.

Rodney hit several keys and brought up a schematic of the main conduits leading from the generator near Katie's lab and frowned. There seemed to be a surge of power at intervals of anywhere from several minutes to an hour.

"See, there are spikes here, here, and here," Zelenka stated and pointed to several points on the grid.

"I can see that, Radek," McKay said impatiently and frowned. "This should be easy to fix by using the initial stabilizers and…there, that's where the problem is coming from."

"Where?" Zelenka asked.

"There…it's a problem with the receptor coils," McKay said. "All we have to do is…"

"Rodney, what's wrong?"

"This is way too easy, Radek…you could have done this in your sleep so why the emergency call for me?" the scientist asked suspiciously.

"I don't know what you're talking about…"

"Don't give me that, Radek, this is so simple a child could see it, albeit a child with an above average IQ," McKay told him.

"I've been working on the repairs from the last wraith attack with very little sleep and I…"

"All right…all right," Mackay said when the other man lapsed into his native language. He didn't understand the words, but he did get the gist of what they meant. He studied the grid on the screen and pointed to the area that would need to be repaired. "We need to have the repair crew concentrate on the conduits between Katie's lab and this point here…should take no more than half an hour to get everything up and running again."

"Thank you," Zelenka said, and sent out an order for the repair team, his mind on just how easy a fix this would be and that Elizabeth might just find herself with an irate Canadian on her hands if he found out the real reason he'd been asked to help. Was it really possible that Colonel John Sheppard was alive and being held on some world? God, he hoped so because they all missed the colonel's dry wit and looked forward to how easily he could handle the man standing beside him.

"Well, if that's all you need I'm going to get something to eat," McKay said and stood up, closing his laptop.

"No, I think that's it, Rodney, thanks for your help…"

"You might want to get some sleep, Radek," the scientist suggested and left the room. His thoughts returned to the missing man and he realized part of his own sorrow stemmed from not being able to say good bye to a man who'd proven his worth in more ways then one. He sighed heavily and shook the sadness away, and turned onto the corridor leading to the gateroom. He didn't need to see where he was going, and moved as if on automatic. Something was drawing him toward the gateroom and he lifted his head at the sound of voices. "What did I miss?"

"Rodney, I thought you were helping Radek," Elizabeth said, silently cursing the fact the McKay hadn't been distracted another five minutes.

"I was, but I'm beginning to smell a rat," McKay said of the group who stood in full gear near the stargate. "What's going on and why wasn't I informed that there was a mission?"

"Rodney, it's just a routine…"

"Oh really, Elizabeth, then why are Teyla and Ronan joining Major Lorne's team?"

"They haven't, but Major Lorne requested their help with this mission," Weir explained, watching as the others looked away guiltily.

"You're going back to PG-2743…that's it isn't it? Why? Did you find out something? Was I right when I saw Sheppard?"

"Rodney, calm down," Weir warned of the man's reddening face and irate actions.

"Calm down! No, Elizabeth, I don't think so. What did you find out and why wasn't I told?" McKay snapped.

"Because I didn't want you getting…"

"Getting what…getting my hopes up. Jesus, Elizabeth, I've relived that moment over and over and can't get it out of my head. Maybe I am grasping at straws, but you know what? I'd rather grasp at straws then give up hope. I don't know how it's possible or why, but I believe that John Sheppard escaped death that day, and God help me I need to find him. I need to know for sure because it's tearing me up inside," McKay told her.

"Rodney, no one blames you…"

"I do, Elizabeth, I blame me because I should have seen some other way…John Sheppard would have."

"John wasn't super human, Rodney," Weir whispered.

"I know…but I saw him on that planet and if you're sending Major Lorne's team back to PG-2743 then I need to go with them…"

"Rodney…"

"Elizabeth, please, you need to let me…I need to do this for my own sanity," McKay said softly, sorrow and hope warring for dominance in his eyes.

"Elizabeth, perhaps it's best if Rodney comes with us," Teyla suggested.

"All right, Rodney, grab your gear," Weir said.

"I'll be back in two minutes," McKay assured them and hurried away.

"Major, watch him and if he starts doing anything that puts the mission in danger send him back…trussed up if that's what it takes," Weir told him. She knew it had been a long shot to try and keep McKay in the dark, but it was worth a try. She nodded to the others who continued to go over mission parameters and hoped this time they wouldn't come back empty handed.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Drakar knew he would have to contact the high priestess's people and knew exactly who he needed to speak to. Now that he'd reached the retreat it was simply a matter of putting out the word that he had information she would find interesting. He already had a figure in mind, but was hopeful that she'd go even higher once he told her the dark haired slave was a military man of high ranking. He wasn't sure how high a Colonel was, but it sounded like he should know a lot of secrets.

Drakar moved to the tent of a man he'd known for many lunar cycles and pushed open the flaps. The elder looked as if a strong breeze would make him fall over, but Drakar knew better. Domitar was stronger than his frail body portrayed and he could handle himself in a fight against someone of similar build.

"Drakar, it has been many moons since you came to see me…what are you selling this time?"

"Why do you always think I have something to sell, Domitar?"

"There is no other reason fro you to visit and old man…I am busy so please don't waste my time with small talk," the elderly male advised.

"I need to get word to High Priestess Shazzia," Drakar told him.

"Shazzia is a busy woman…she does not like intrusions unless there is something in it for her."

"I have something she should know…and am willing to split the profit with you," Drakar offered.

"Tell me what you are selling and I will decide if it is worth risking her wrath."

"I am not stupid," Drakar spat. "If I tell you then what is stopping you from making a deal of your own? No, it is best if I keep the information secret until I can speak with her myself."

"I warn you, Drakar, don't overstep your bounds here. I have contacts and I can get word to Shazzia, but if she dislikes what you have to say she will not hesitate to cut off your ba…"

"I know what she does to people she dislikes, Domitar, but believe me this is something she will gladly pay for," Drakar explained.

"You're pretty sure of yourself, Drakar," Domitar said.

"This time I think I've found the pot of Shoclaws," Drakar told him.

"Where will you be if I hear from Shazzia?"

"I'll be around," Drakar told him, whistling as he walked out of the tent.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Hawk watched as his private physicians examined the new acquisitions. Tyrel of Goliaden was very well built for a young male and would work well in the mines, but he would also be used in the fights that happened during the solar storms. The storms happened once every six solar cycles and were recognizable by the formation of dark clouds that obliterated everything around them, making travel impossible. During those time periods the leader of each fortress would choose several able bodied slaves and meet at the underground chambers.

A storm was brewing in the north and would hit them in four days, giving them just enough time to check the new slaves and leave for the underground chambers. Hawk turned from Tyrel and looked at the real prize, John…a simple name for a complex man who according to High Priestess Shazzia remembered nothing of his life before she'd rescued him from an explosion that decimated one of her collection ships.

Hawk walked into the room as John was finally released from the paralyzing effects of his ministrations. As per his orders the new slave was restrained and would be unable to move until the straps were released. "Welcome back, John, relax and let Kudrone and his people check you over and make sure you are disease free. We must complete your examinations before we take shelter from the solar storm brewing in the north."

John had been aware for some time that the feeling was slowly returning to his extremities. Whatever Hawk had done to hem had left him paralyzed and unable to talk, but he'd been wide awake and had been horrified at the way the big man had carried him to this lab. He'd placed him on the bed and two females had quickly placed straps across his forehead, shoulders, chest, hips, and thighs before encircling both his ankles and wrists with soft cuffs that made it impossible for him to move.

John closed his eyes, hissing sharply when something slipped beneath his skin at the side of his neck. His eyes shot open and he stared at the man who proclaimed ownership.

"I know that hurt and it will sting for a while, but it is necessary. Kudrone just placed a small device in your neck that allows me to keep track of your movements. After all I did pay an exorbitant amount for you and Tyrel…you will both have to prove that it was not a foolish indulgence on my part."

"Hawk, you should see this," Kudrone called.

"What is it?" Hawk asked and moved to the monitoring equipment next to John's bed. "Is that what I think it is?"

"He's of Atlantian descent," Kudrone told him.

"Is that right, John? Are you Atlantian?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," John told him, frustrated at being unable to move.

"This means I was correct in my observation that you are Alpha, but it also means that it will be much harder to make you bow that stubborn head of yours…"

"I repeat…who are you that I should bow down?" John asked, cursing as Hawk ruffled his fingers as if speaking to a wayward child.

"Oh, I know I am going to enjoy showing you the difference between you as an Alpha on your world to my Alpha on my world. I will make it a point to show you the difference in our physical and mental abilities," Hawk explained.

"The gene is very strong in this one, Hawk…do you have any idea what this could mean?"

"No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me…"

"It means he could conceivably activate all those ancient devices you have stored in the lower recesses of the Fortress. It could easily give you an advantage over the other Ministers," Kudrone offered.

"Is Kudrone correct, John…do you have the ability to activate the Ancient technology?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," John answered truthfully.

"Perhaps it will come back to you submit to me…"

"It won't happen…"

"Yes, it will, but it must wait until we're sheltered from the storms and there is no one around to witness your defeat. Rest, John, for you and I have a test ahead…one I aim to win," Hawk said and smiled at his newest acquisition. Yes, they would have a fight, but it would be in private where only he and John would witness the slaves defeat as it should be for one Alpha to another.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Remember, Never to Forget---6

PG-2743 hadn't changed since Rodney McKay's last visit, except for one major difference. Whereas before it was simply another planet, now it held hope…hope that somewhere Colonel John Sheppard was alive and that was something the scientist clung to. In the weeks…months since John Sheppard 'died' he'd been plagued by dreams that left him exhausted and depressed, but he'd hidden it well…or so he thought.

Carson Beckett and Elizabeth Weir both saw right through him and had made him talk several times, but he'd still kept part of himself closed off. Teyla's voice from beside him brought him back to the present.

"Rodney, did you hear me?"

"Sorry, Teyla, I was thinking…"

"I could tell. Ronan and Major Lorne are trying to bargain with Suduko for births on his vessel," Teyla explained.

"Suduko?"

"The tall man standing beside the…"

"Piece of junk? My God, Teyla, surely they are not spending good money to travel aboard that death trap?"

"Suduko assures us it may look like a death trap, but it has flown hundreds of trips into the mountains without mishap," Teyla told him.

"You will not regret traveling with Suduko," the big male said once he had the Shoclaws in his pouch.

"Please tell me you didn't spend more than a dollar for this?" McKay spat.

"You insult my ship you will stay here!" Suduko snarled and whirled on the Canadian.

"Suduko, you and I have an understanding. If Dr. McKay is not allowed then none of us go and I expect you to give me back those Shoclaws…"

"You were told there are no refunds!"

"There is if we haven't set foot on your vessel," Lorne told him. "Now what will it take for you to forgive Dr. McKay?"

"There is nothing…"

"Perhaps if Rodney was to apologize for speaking without benefit of knowledge of the interior all will be forgiven," Teyla offered.

"You have got to be kidding me? Why on earth would I…"

"Because Suduko is our only means of finding Drakar," Ronan reminded him.

"Oh…my apologies for speaking ill about your death trap, Suduko," McKay said.

"My vessel has traveled great distances and is equipped to ride under the radar of some of the out lying cities. You will not regret traveling with my crew," Suduko said and pressed several buttons on the metal attachment surrounding his arm. A sharp whirring hum began that caused those around him to cover their ears.

"Please tell me we won't be subjected to such torture during the trip," McKay spat.

"Oh, I wouldn't call it torture, McKay…more like high-pitched singing by those songbirds on TF-625," Ronan said with a grin. The songbirds were actually four females who had latched onto Rodney McKay during their last encounter. McKay had been so excited about finally getting the pretty females no one had the heart to tell him the pretty creatures were neither male nor female…or actually were able to change sex at any given time.

"Song birds my ass," McKay snapped. "Those ladies did not sound like this."

"The sound is simply a failsafe," Suduko explained and led them toward the open hatch.

"Failsafe for what?" Teyla asked.

"There are creatures in the mountains and they are smart. They can find ways to get inside a vessel and tear apart the instrument panel. The sound you here is a good deterrent and keeps them from entering my vessel," Suduko answered.

"What kind of creatures are they?" McKay asked curiously.

"They are small, but don't ever let them close enough that you can smell them because it's too late then. They'll tear you to shreds and skin you alive before taking you back to their leer and…"

"Okay, I get the picture," McKay said in disgust.

"Good, because once we enter the mountain region there are dangerous places we call the dead zone. Anyone who has tried to cross there on foot has failed…"

"Failed?" McKay asked.

"Exactly…they've never been heard from once they step foot in the dead zone," Suduko told them.

"How long will it take us to reach the mountain retreat?" Lorne asked.

"It depends on the weather. The mountains around here are well known for sudden storms that wreak havoc with a vessel's systems," Suduko explained as the hatch closed behind them. "Strap in and make sure you don't touch any of the controls on the panel's beside your seat or this trip will end before it even begins."

Rodney took the seat behind Suduko while Ronan took the seat beside Suduko. He could hear the rest Teyla and Lorne behind him while the rest of the team took up positions at the back of the craft. The seat beside him was empty and he sighed heavily at the thought of the man who would normally be there. He settled back in the seat and turned his head to look out the small window as the vessel rose high in the air and flew out over the marketplace.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Sheyenne was a beautiful planet full of lush green foliage and tall trees that blotted out the sky in some places. The fortress was as big as Shazzia's palace, and the grounds surrounding it were tended by dozens of slaves, both male and female who worked diligently to cover the crops in an effort to save as much as possible from the storm that would soon descend on them. John stood next to Hawk, unable to understand why he was not ordered to the fields with the others.

"Are you always so quiet, John?" Hawk asked.

"Rodney talks enough for both of us," John answered and frowned as the strange, yet familiar name crossed his lips.

"Rodney?" Hawk said the name and watched the slave's face for any sign that his memory was returning, but the eyes seemed devoid of emotion. "Who is this Rodney?"

"I don't know," John answered truthfully and felt as if he'd lost his best friend with the admission.

Hawk didn't miss the look of sadness that crossed his slave's face and wondered who this Rodney was and why even the name cast suck a spell over John's face. The slave rarely showed any emotion, but the mere mention of the name had made him sullen and withdrawn. Perhaps Shazzia could shed some light on Rodney, if not he would press John for the memory using a technique he'd learned from several slavers who'd visited him on many occasions.

"We will be leaving for the underground chambers as soon as the slaves have finished covering the fields," Hawk told him.

"Why wasn't I sent to the fields with Tyrel and the others?"

"Because you have something that makes you special…"

"Funny…I don't feel special," John told him.

"That will change once you realize your place in my home, John. You are the reason I went to the slave sales that day…I was not interested in acquiring new slaves until you were brought onto the platform."

"I'm so damn honored," John snapped.

"Watch your sarcasm, John, or I will have to bend that stiff neck of yours again," Hawk vowed.

"Master Hawk, the fields are secured," Philiam said upon joining the two males. He eyed the man standing next to his master and wondered why he wasn't working alongside the other slaves, but Philiam knew better than to ask questions.

"Very well, have the slaves confined to the underground chambers here," Hawk ordered.

"All of them?"

"No," Hawk answered and looked at John. "Tyrel, Drake, Wylia will be accompanying me."

"What about him?" Philiam asked.

"John accompanies me wherever I go," Hawk answered. "See that the others are secured in my ship and make sure the slaves here are safe. You will remain here with them and should anything befall my property it is on your head."

"Yes, Master," Philiam said, casting a heated glance toward the new slave before retreating to the fields and collecting the slaves Hawk had requested.

"What do you think, John?"

"About what?"

"About the slaves I have chosen? Do you think they will keep us entertained and make my pockets full before we return home?"

"How would I know?"

"You seem like a man who has an opinion on matters like this. On your world I'd wager that you are a man to be reckoned with. How many slaves do you have in your home, John?"

"I don't have slaves?"

"How do you know when you have no recollection of your life before Shazzia found you?"

"Because I'm not like you," John answered.

"Again I ask how do you know? Has your memory returned? Is this all an act so that you can earn my trust and find a way to escape?"

"How can I escape when you've placed a tracker under my skin?"

"I'm glad you realize that the tracker binds you to me and will be easily recognizable to other slavers should you succeed in escaping the fortress," Hawk told him. "Come, we must get to the ship and leave as soon as the other slaves have boarded."

John knew he had no choice but to obey and walked alongside the bigger man. His thoughts went back to the name he'd spoken and he wondered who the name belonged to. It conjured up a sense of friendship and a warmth spread through him, but he could not explain why the name Rodney meant so much to him. He clung to that warmth and prayed that someday whoever Rodney was he'd find him and find his way home.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Elizabeth Weir looked at the picture on her desk and ran her fingers over the faces smiling back at her. The photo was taken a week after they'd arrived in the Pegasus Galaxy. It included every member of the expedition with the front row consisting of the ranking military and civilian personnel. Rodney McKay, Radek Zelenka, Peter Grodin, Carson Beckett, Teyla Emmagan, Aiden Ford, herself, and sitting on the end was John Sheppard. The shot was one they each had a copy of and she knew Sheppard had his hanging on the wall in his quarters.

There were a lot of problems in that first week, a lot of lives had been lost, but they'd managed to survive and Atlantis was home for them now. They could contact Earth and supplies were sent every few weeks, taking away the urgency of trading with the people of the Pegasus Galaxy. Although if truth was told she'd have to admit there were several items the Pegasus Galaxy offered that were not available elsewhere.

Elizabeth placed the picture back on her desk and reached for the laptop. She tapped several keys, bringing up the history surrounding PG-2743, at least the brief history they now had on the planet. The people who lived in the market place lived a simple life, whereas those who lived in the mountain retreat had acquired a taste for the 'finer things in life'. For instance there was a fruit on a planet near the edge of the galaxy that tasted like a strawberry, but looked more like an apple with the texture of a kiwi fruit. The name given the fruit by the native people was unpronounceable and they'd started called it Strapple Fruit. Sheppard had simply shaken his head when McKay named it.

"Elizabeth, has there been any word from Major Lorne?"

"Nothing since they left for the mountain retreat, Carson," Weir answered. She knew most of the senior members were aware of the possibility that John Sheppard might have been spotted, but she'd warned them to keep it to themselves until they had more information. "I'll keep you in the loop."

"I know you will…do you think Colonel Sheppard is alive?"

"I don't know, Carson…God I hope he is, but Teyla and Ronan both saw the ship disintegrate when Rodney pressed the button," Weir told him.

"Still…we've seen some pretty strange things happen…"

"Yes, we have…us being here is one of them," Weir said, smiling at the chief of Atlantis's medical section. "If John is alive then something's been keeping him from contacting us and usually that means you'll have your work cut out for you."

"Don't remind me," Beckett told her. "I just stopped in to let you know Peter Grodin should be able to return to duty by tomorrow morning."

"That is good news," Weir said of the man who'd helped bring Atlantis online. Peter Grodin was a constant in the control room until the day before when he'd been checking a stabilizer and wound up being shocked halfway across the room. Grodin had spent the night in the infirmary and Elizabeth was glad the man would be back at his post before long.

"You do realize if this doesn't pan out then Rodney will be back where he started when he was forced to carry out John's last order," Beckett observed.

"I hope you're wrong, Carson, but be ready for anything when they return," Weir said and followed the physician out of her office. She made it a point to speak with the members of the expedition, but sometimes she just needed some time to herself and she left Carson outside her office and headed toward the tower John Sheppard would normally be found. It was a place she often found herself late at night when most of Atlantis was sleeping, a place where she felt closest to Colonel John Sheppard.

SGASGASGASGASGA

"Hold on, we're about to hit a few rocky spots," Suduko explained as a dark cloud obliterated the mountains they'd been headed for.

"Is that normal?" McKay asked.

"It is out here. They don't call this he dead zone for nothing. That cloud or one like it is responsible for bringing down dozens of vessels…fortunately for you you're onboard the best damn vessel on the planet and with me at the controls we'll navigate through the dust cloud and be clear sailing all the way to the retreat," Suduko explained.

"Oh I know I feel relieved," McKay sniped and watched the ominous cloud as it roiled in a maelstrom of dust and debris.

"Hold on to your shirt boys and girls…this is going to be one hell of a ride!" Suduko warned and sent the ship directly toward the advancing cloud.

"Are you crazy?" McKay snapped. "You're going to get us all killed."

"Not a chance, McKay, I'm going to take you on a ride you'll never forget and have you begging for more when we come out the other side!" the big male stated with a toothy grin.

"Bring it on!" Ronan said from the seat beside Suduko. The big Satedan looked as if he was enjoying the ride as the vessel swayed with the turbulent winds that came before the cloud. The vessel shook as it entered the cloud, buffeted back and forth, twisting through a swirling spectrum of luminescent dust particles.

"Oh, God, I'm going to be sick!" McKay snapped.

"Hold on, Rodney, you'll be fine," Teyla told him. She'd witnessed a display like the cloud twice before and Suduko seemed to know exactly what he was doing as they threaded through the eye of a needle. The luminescent display was dazzling to the point of making her stomach queasy, but she knew it would not last much longer. Major Lorne and the rest of his team looked as green as McKay, yet Ronan had a childlike grin on his face as the vessel was catapulted along as if in the eye of a storm.

"I'm going to die!"

"Not on my vessel! I just had the interior cleaned and it's not included in the fair so you'll be doing it with your own two hands!" Suduko warned.

"You might want to chew on this, McKay," Ronan offered and handed the scientist something that looked like a root.

"What is it?"

"It's Shosta Root from Sateda. It'll calm your nerves and your stomach. Just put a little piece under your tongue and" Ronan explained.

Rodney did as he was told and was somewhat surprised by the pleasant taste that reminded him of mint leaves. He bit off a fair sized piece and placed it under his tongue and smiled as he settled back in the seat. A smile formed and his eyes glazed over as the Shosta Root took hold.

"Better, McKay?" Ronan asked.

"Much…does Carson know about the benefits of Shosta Root? It makes everything look different. Why don't we see how many shapes we can find before we die?"

"Rodney, we're not going to die," Teyla said, shaking her head at the man's actions.

"Teyla, when you do that you remind me of Prince Charming…not Rinderceller's Pransome Hince, but the one in Shrek…oh, you've never seen Shrek…he's a big green ogre and his sidekick is this mule who sort of gets on his nerves until he meets...his lady love…"

"Rinderceller? Shrek?" Ronan asked.

"I think you gave him too much," Teyla observed with a hint of a smile. "Rodney, close your eyes and sleep."

"My eyes are closed…aren't they?" McKay said and reached up to fan his hand in front of his face. "Oh, my, this is really strange…"

"What's strange?" Lorne asked.

"My hand…it never did that before…looks like Mr. Spock's Vulcan greeting," McKay answered.

"Mr. Spock? Vulcan greeting?" Teyla asked.

"It's from an old Earth sci-fi called Star Trek. Mr. Spock was from the planet Vulcan and when he greeted others he splayed his fingers like Dr. McKay is doing and said 'live long and prosper'."

"Captain Kirk was played by a Canadian actor, but I can never remember his name…that's such a shame," McKay said and suddenly grew still as his eyes closed.

"Rodney?"

"He should sleep the rest of the trip, Teyla," Ronan told her and turned to Lorne as Suduko continued to hold the vessel on a steady, but tumultuous course. "Tell me more about Star…Trek."

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Remember, Never to Forget---7

Hawk flew the craft expertly, staying low to the ground in effort to stay below the winds that blew across the higher ridges. They buffeted the ship, making it a rougher ride than normal, but he knew he could handle the ship no matter how rough it got. He glanced at the man in the seat beside him and felt his excitement mount at the prospect of reaching the underground chambers. The other slave owners would be there, but he would still have his privacy and that was something he would need in order to show John the true meaning of Alpha male.

Hawk turned back to the controls and skimmed the craft across the tops of several trees before dipping into a deep valley and riding the winds along the outer edge. He loved the freedom of flying and wondered if John had ever flown anything before his memory loss. Was he a pilot? Could he use ancient technology with ease because of the gene? Would this give Hawk the edge he needed to take over the nearby fortresses? Those were questions he expected answers to, but for now he wanted to prove to John that he owned him, body and soul.

"Have you ever flown a ship, John?"

"Used to fly Puddle jumpers," John answered, frowning as he tried to grasp the meaning of those two words.

"A Puddle Jumper? What is that?"

"I don't know…something I…" John shook his head as he tried to focus on the fleeting memory, but it remained as illusive as the name Rodney.

"John, why do I feel as if you're lying to me?"

"I'm not lying…I just…sometimes it feels like I should know things, but when I try to remember them they're gone."

"We shall see, John," Hawk told him, descending lower in the valley.

John looked out the window, amazed at the scenery spread out below and to the sides of the narrow gorge. There were animals, so large they defied description, scattered throughout the lower, more fertile parts of the valley. Some looked familiar, but he could not put the name to it. The trees, the valley, the animals, everything about this place made him long for something he couldn't quite remember and he felt lost and alone…more alone than he'd ever been in his life.

"Would you like to take the controls, John?"

"Me?"

"Why not? I think you could handle it easily," Hawk told him. "What's the worst that can happen?"

"We could slam into the face of the cliff," John answered.

"Not with the inertial dampeners on auto," Hawk said. He pressed a button and stood up, motioning for John to take his place, smiling when the man reluctantly took the pilot's seat.

"How do I know where to go?"

"Our destination is programmed in so if you venture off course by more than twenty degrees it will kick in and automatically bring us back on track," Hawk explained. He watched John closely as he placed his hands on the controls and a frown formed on the pale features.

Hawk wondered why this man had stood out at the slave auction and why he'd been drawn to spend such an exorbitant amount to purchase him. It was clear that he was underweight, yet there seemed to be a hidden strength in the way he carried himself. He watched as the finger flew over the controls, making sure the ship avoided colliding with the walls of the gorge. The ship did have inertial dampeners, but what he'd neglected to say was he didn't have them turned on. That was something else he couldn't explain…why trust a slave with his life? The answer was simple…John reminded him of himself.

John could feel the other man watching him, but kept his eyes on the rough terrain ahead as he skimmed his hands over the controls. It felt so natural to him and he drew on his instincts as he maneuvered between two down trees that had fallen eons ago. Since sitting in the pilot's seat he'd felt as if a part of him had come home, but there were still so many missing pieces. Pieces that felt like a kaleidoscope of images jumbled together into an impossibly complex puzzle.

"You seem to know your way around the controls, John, and that makes me believe you are a pilot and holding back," Hawk observed.

"It just feels right…I'm not doing it from memory…at least I don't think so," John answered honestly, banking the ship to the left as he manipulated the craft through a narrow, debris strewn opening. It felt so damn good, but it came to an abrupt halt when Hawk hit a button on the control panel and the ship seemed to hover in place.

"It's time for you to come clean with me, John," Hawk warned, his voice soft, but laced with anger. He reached out and gripped John's arms and pulled him from his seat. "Tell me who you are, John!"

"I don't know, Hawk!" John spat and knew the vice like grip would leave bruises on his arms. He tried to pull away, but Hawk shoved him into the second chair and quickly fastened the straps across his body, making it impossible for him to move.

"You and I need to set some ground rules when we reach the underground chambers," Hawk snarled and took the controls once more.

John could feel the anger boiling inside and silently screamed in frustration as he fought against the restraints. He'd never liked being tied down, of that he was certain even with his memory loss, but he did not want to let Hawk see his emotions. He closed his eyes and a face appeared for a fraction of a second. A face filled with fear and horror and something told him this was the illusive Rodney whose name seemed to be part of the only memory he retained.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Drakar hurried toward Domitar's dwelling and entered to find the elderly man seated in his usual position. He was anxious to find out whether the high priestess would be visiting the retreat in the near future. Domitar ignored him for several seconds, intent only on lighting the foul smelling cigar and puffing intently on it before blowing rings over his head. "Have you heard anything from her?"

"Shazzia has asked me to speak for her…"

"Then we have nothing to talk about, Domitar," Drakar said and turned to walk away, but movement to his left made him smile.

"What ever you have to say to me had better be worth my time, Drakar," Shazzia warned.

"High Priestess, you honor me by allowing me this time," Drakar said, bowing several times before looking into the woman's eyes. "I have information about your slave."

"I have many slaves, Drakar, get on with it."

"I want to be…"

"Yes, yes…I know you want to be paid, but the amount depends on the value of your information," Shazzia said. Although Drakar was taller than she was, the man wilted under her fiery gaze and she stood looking down at him as he dropped to his knees.

"Thank you, High Priestess," Drakar, trembled as he stared up at her. "The information is about your slave called John. The one you saved from the explosion on P63-2K9…"

"What about him?"

"He is military, High Priestess…his friend's called him Colonel and they are from Atlantis…"

"Atlantis was destroyed by the wraith," Shazzia told him, but she had known for some time that there were military and Athosian personnel living there. For now she would keep this information from Drakar, and find out exactly who the people searching for John were.

"No it wasn't," Drakar told her. "They gave me a way to contact them…see it's right here and I was to contact them once I found out about Colonel John Sheppard."

"Colonel John Sheppard?" Shazzia repeated the name, enjoying the way it seemed to flow off her tongue.

"Did his friends say anything about a reward?"

"No, but they seemed real interested in finding out about him and since they are from Atlantis I know they'll pay for his return."

"Who said anything about returning him?" Shazzia said, wondering who had bought the handsome slave. "If he is military the Genii and the Dregorians would be interested in his secrets."

"The Dregorians are always looking to gain an upper hand with the Genii," Domitar observed.

"Exactly," Shazzia said and paced across the cluttered structure before turning back to Drakar. "What did you tell John's friends?"

"I told them I would let them know if I find out anything about their friend," Drakar answered.

"You will tell them nothing," Shazzia told him. "Tell them you were wrong and that there is no one amongst my slaves named John. You will be well rewarded as long as you convince them they are wrong."

"Yes, High Priestess, I will do as you ask," Drakar told her.

"Very well…you are dismissed," Shazzia said and waited for the merchant to leave before turning to Domitar. "What do you think, Old Friend?"

"If John is this Colonel then you sold a man who could have invaluable secrets about Atlantis," Domitar answered.

"Oh, I believe he is Colonel John Sheppard and I will find out who bought him and make him or her an offer they can't refuse," Shazzia told him.

"You could be putting yourself in danger, Shazzia."

"Don't I always. Why do you think I saved him from my own slavers?" Shazzia asked.

"I had wondered…but I have known you long enough to know that you will do whatever you wish," Domitar answered. "Just watch your back or one of your enemies might just take you down."

"Thanks for the warning…I will get back to you once I find John…"

"Why did you sell him in the first place? I mean you went through all that trouble to snatch him from death and then you put him on the auction block."

"I knew he was from Atlantis, but I had no idea he was military…although I should have, considering he was firing on my slavers."

"That's not like you, Shazzia," Domitar observed. "You're usually a lot more careful when it comes to taking slaves. What if this man is the one I warned you about?"

"I have always believed in your visions, Old Friend, but you are not always right," she said. "I have to get back to my ship and find out who bought John if I plan to get him back."

"Just be careful, Shazzia, I'd hate to attend your funeral," Domitar warned, smiling when she kissed him and left his home. He inhaled deeply of the cigar and thought about the vision he had. In it a dark haired stranger with ties to the Ancients had cost Shazzia everything she owned including her life. Was Colonel John Sheppard the man from his vision? If so was it already written in the star that Shazzia would die in his arms?

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Suduko had listened to the stories about Star Trek while piloting the sip and realized his own world had similar legends. Perhaps his home had been seeded by this James T Kirk and his people. They did have the same physique and the same yearning to reach the stars. He looked down at his hand and tried to make the Vulcan sign, but it was impossible and he returned his hand to the controls.

"How long before we reach the retreat?" Teyla asked.

"We should be seeing the lights as soon as we fly over the next mountain," Suduko answered.

"So we're over the danger zone?" Lorne asked.

"Pretty much, but it still takes skill to land this craft with the strong updraft from the valley," Suduko told him.

"How long have you been piloting this ship?" Teyla asked.

"More years than I care to remember, but at least it's bought and paid for with hard work and many Shoclaws," Suduko told her and pointed toward the lights in the distance as they crested the mountain. "That's the retreat…"

"It is beautiful," Teyla whispered.

"Yes, it is. The people who live here took advantage of the trees and surrounding caves and the natural lighting. There are stones that draw heat from the sun during the day and at night they shine as if with a power all their own," Suduko explained.

"Now that is something isn't it…"

"Welcome back, Rodney, did you sleep well?" Teyla asked as the scientist sat forward and stared at the twinkling lights in the distance.

"Yes…thank you," McKay answered. "Did you say those lights are caused by stones that harness the sun's power?"

"They sure do," Suduko assured him.

"What about heat? Do these stone produce any heat?" the Canadian asked.

"Enough to keep the retreat and the surrounding area warm in spite of the snow on the mountains," Suduko explained.

"Has anyone ever tested them?" McKay asked.

"No…they just enjoy the gift they were given although several merchants requested the stones be brought to them in order to sell them, but it seems the stones lose their ability to harness the sun's power once they are removed from this area. This is the only place that has them and the people would kill anyone who tried to take the precious stones away."

"I'd like to take a look at the stones," McKay said.

"That can be arranged, but I warn you not to touch them because they do leave a bad burn," Suduko told him.

"Gives a whole new meaning to the words 'hot rocks'," Lorne quipped.

"Settle back and enjoy the ride…this is where it gets touchy," Suduko warned and began the slow process of descending toward the retreat.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Remember, Never to Forget---8

John walked alongside the bigger man once they exited the craft. He'd seen Tyrel, but had been denied the chance to speak with him as the guards had taken the trio away before he'd been released from his seat. He'd heard Hawk speaking with someone in what sounded like gibberish to him before his 'owner' had released him and told him he would not be staying in the slave's quarters. Once outside the ship, he'd moved to stand on equal ground with Hawk and remained there in spite of the warning look he'd been given. He knew he was going to pay for his small show of defiance, but he kept his head high as they walked along the well lit corridor. 

John looked around as they walked, searching for some way out of the chambers and wondering where the hell he would go if he did manage to escape. That had never stopped him from looking while he was with Shazzia and he wouldn't let it deter him now. 

Hawk could almost read John's mind and knew the desire to escape was there. The man was strong, of mind and body, and he wondered what his background was. Did he even realize he had a natural ability to fly and walked as if he had military training? Was that even possible? Did John have a military background that would lend credence to his flying abilities? That was something he needed to find out because if it was true, then John could be worth a lot of Shoclaws to the right people. Not that he would sell him, but it would mean he would have to protect his investment from anyone who would try to take his prized possession. 

Hawk wondered why he wanted to own this man. Why did John remind him so much of himself from the moment he set eyes on him? He smiled at the thought of making John bow his stiff neck and hurried toward his private quarters where he could put his plans into action. Hawk had no doubt that he might just end up being bruised from head to toe, but it would be worth the price once he had John on his knees and acknowledging the natural order of things. 

John stopped when Hawk reached out to touch a console on an empty wall and pressed several buttons until an opening appeared beside it. There'd been no sign of an entrance before Hawk had keyed in a series of symbols and John was amazed at the technology that must have been used to make this place. He stepped into a darkened chamber, blinking rapidly when bright lights illuminated the spacious room. The walls were bare except for several hooks where clothing hung. There was a wooden bench on one side and two doors on his right. 

"Come, John, let me show you around our home for the next week or so," Hawk ordered, using another panel to enter a series of symbols that would lock them inside. He reached for the handle on the first door and pushed it open. "This is our living quarters. There is a fully stocked kitchen with enough food and supplies to last for several months. Fresh water is piped in from a spring several levels below us. We have a well equipped med lab of our own and I have made several discoveries that I have yet to share with others."

"This place seems big for one person," John offered as he looked around the new room. There was a dark sofa and chair that looked as if they'd never been used. The leather-like material shone as the lights came on, revealing a coffee and two end tables made of heavy wood. A lamp, intricately designed with carvings of the creatures John had seen during their flight was set on each table. There were several wooden sculptures of animals and people on shelves set against two walls. John was impressed by the decidedly male details in the main room. 

"It is bigger than you know, and when we enter the inner chamber you and I are going to have that talk I promised," Hawk warned and reached for the buttons on another console. "This is my own private inner sanctuary and no one enters without my permission. I like my privacy, John, and I want complete privacy for our talk."

"You make it sound as if we're going to a church social and going to discuss our date for the prom," John snapped.

"I assure you it will be nothing like that and once we have established the ground rules of your captivity then life will be a lot easier for you…"

"You mean once I bow down to you…it won't happen," John told him. 

"Don't be so sure, John," Hawn warned. "You see I have had years of experience with training my slaves and making them bow their stiff necks once they realize I am the true Alpha."

"Don't bet on it…"

"We shall see, John," Hawk said and lunged for the man, pleasantly surprised by his captive's quick reactions.

John had been expecting the move and ducked below the arms that reached for him. He turned and lashed out with his leg, catching his nemesis before he had a chance to recover and striking him behind the knee. 

"Not bad," Hawk said and turned with and amused smile. "This is going to be a painful lesson for you, John."

"Bring it on," John said, a cocky grin on his face. He knew there was no way in hell he could win against Hawk, but there was also no way in hell he would ever back down. He ducked beneath the man's fist, but didn't quite make it as the knuckles connected with the side of his head and sent him staggering across the room. He quickly recovered and managed to get in several quick jabs to Hawk's abdomen before being forced backward as a flurry of fists struck him in quick succession. 

Hawk watched for any weakness, but it seemed that there was more to John than he'd realized. The man was quick on his feet and even after taking several blows, he was able to move. Hawk jabbed with his right and backed it up with his left, but John ducked out of the way and swept his right leg out. The move succeeded in putting him off balance and John move in with a blow to Hawk's head that sent him sprawling over a piece of furniture, but he quickly recovered and got to his knees as John moved in.

John used his foot to kick at Hawks exposed ribs, but the man stood up easily and lashed out with his left foot, connecting solidly with the side of John's knee. He gritted his teeth as the bone jarring hit sent tremors through his right leg, but fought to stay on his feet and out of Hawk's reach. He managed to stay on his feet and elude the beefy hands that reached for him, and wondered how much longer he could postpone the inevitable. 

"I'm beginning to believe there is more to you than meets the eye," Hawk said, a simple nod of his head acknowledging his words before he renewed his attack. He reached for his captive, but John managed to move just beyond his reach and kept the sofa between them. "You will lose, John…it is only a matter of time."

"According to you…" John whispered breathlessly with his hands on his knees. "We have all the time in the world."

"That we do…so why don't we get on with the lessen?" Hawk said and dove over the couch. His body slammed into the smaller man, driving him backward against the shelves. He heard John's wheezing breath and thought the fight was done, but this man would not give up so easily. 

John felt the air forced from his lungs and tried to breathe, but Hawk's weight was pressing him to the floor. He silently cursed and drew on whatever instincts seemed to be working and brought his left knee up into his foe's groin. It connected with enough force that John saw the pain in the man's face before he pushed Hawk off. He stood up and tried to move away, but his nemesis was having nothing to do with it and latched onto his right ankle. John kicked out, connecting solidly with Hawk's wrist, but the man did not release him. He grabbed hold of the shelf and lifted his foot, bringing it down toward the big man's exposed throat, but Hawk reacted and moved so that it was only a glancing blow that removed several layers of skin. John managed to pull his leg away and stumbled when Hawk twisted his body and kicked him in the lower back. 

John managed to stay on his feet and turned just as Hawk climbed to his feet. He stared into the obsidian eyes that seemed to liquify as a smile formed on Hawk's face. John swore he could feel the bruises forming on his body, but he knew this was only the beginning as Hawk lunged for him again. They traded blows back and forth, moving through the open door and into the deeper labyrinth of Hawk's private chambers. The lights flickered and finally came on, but John didn't have time to look around as Hawk renewed his attack. A fist struck him in the right side and he could have sworn he heard a rib break, but had no time to dwell on it as he lifted his left arm to block a similar blow from connecting with his left side.

John swore he could hear thunder, but realized it was his own heart pounding in his chest and the throbbing pain in his skull. He blinked several times, and tasted blood in his mouth as Hawk slowly circled him like a tiger getting ready to pounce. He followed the man's every move, mirroring each shift of a well muscled leg, hoping to keep the pain at bay. A smile formed as he noted the way Hawk favored his groin and he lifted his head defiantly. 

"You are worthy, John…"

"Worthy of what?"

"Worthy of becoming my prized possession…"

"I told you no one owns me," John spat, turning and spitting a mixture of blood and spittle on the floor. 

"You did and I believe my answer was that I would show you not only do I own you, but it is my right as…"

"Alpha…I heard you…but that doesn't make it true," John told him, wondering how much longer he could stand against this man and vowing that he would fight with his dying breath if he needed to. This time he attacked before Hawk could set himself and used his upper body strength to drive Hawk backward over a piece of covered furniture. Hawk went down hard and grunted as he stood up, but there was no mistaking the intense anger in his obsidian eyes as he jumped over the desk and grabbed John, pulling him into a bear hug. 

John realized Hawk had been toying with him as the arms tightened across his chest, pinning him against his enemy and cutting off his air supply. John struggled weakly, feeling the crushing pressure on his ribs as darkness gathered around him. He barely heard Hawk's taunting words, but they trickled through the pounding in his head until he realized he was close to blacking out. 

"Do you submit, John?"

"N…no," John whispered and let his head drop forward as a sign that he was weakening. He felt the man's hold relaxing, and smiled as he snapped his head back. He heard the gasp of pain and felt the arms loosen even as he drove his foot into the bigger man's right knee. He hit the floor hard, landing on his hands and knees, and turning so that he faced his captor.

"You surprise me, John," Hawk said, wiping the blood flowing from his nose. "I admire a man who knows how to fight and you certainly have had some training to know how to get out of that hold."

"Maybe I did," John said with a grin as they circled each other in a predatory stance. "Or else you're not as good as you thought you were." 

"Oh, now that is funny, John…I believe it's time to stop playing games…"

"This was a game?" John asked incredulously. 

"Of course…a game that will end in your defeat…"

"Not if I have anything to say about it!" John spat.

"You don't, John, and that's the mistake you made in all of this!" Hawk said and delivered a devastating blow to his captive right side. 

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Suduko expertly landed the craft and turned to his passengers. "Now, we have yet to talk about the cost of your passage back to the marketplace."

"You have got to be kidding?" McKay snapped. 

"I assure you I do not kid, Dr. McKay," Suduko said with a grin. "Major Lorne negotiated a one way ride and now it is time to talk about the trip home."

"Suduko, you should remember we have yet to pay you the full amount for the first part of the journey," Teyla said and saw the man's face drop. "I'm sure we can negotiate a fair price so that you are paid and we have a safe journey back."

"I could simply keep what you gave me and leave you here…Dr. McKay has insulted my vessel…"

"Oh for God's sake…it's a piece of…"

"Rodney, be quiet," Teyla warned and returned her attention to Suduko, smiling as she stood toe to toe with the big man. "You came here because of us and I can assure you there are plenty more Shoclaws…and it would be easy to hire another pilot."

"Teyla, do you have a man?" 

"No, Suduko, and right now I am not looking for one," Teyla told him.

"Too bad…you and I could make a killing if we pooled our resources," Suduko said. "All right, my friends, we meet back here in one complete cycle or you'll be searching for another way home."

"Leave without us and you'll be saying goodbye to those extra Shoclaws," Teyla warned. 

"You're a menace, Teyla Emmagan…"

"Yes, she is, and we're glad she's on our side," Rodney said with a grin. 

"Thank you…I think," Teyla said as they exited the space craft. She looked at the mountains rising high into the clowns and wondered if these people realized how lucky they were to have the stones provide them with both heat and light. It also appeared to have a wondrous affect on the plant life and many varieties of trees seemed to grow in abundance. She recognized many of the fruit bearing trees and reached out to pick one off a low branch.

"What is that Teyla?" Lorne asked.

"These are Litchin fruit. They are very rare and grown only at certain temperatures and only in the right environment," Teyla explained. "They taste a little like those apples you and John…I'm sorry, Rodney, I did not mean…"

"It's okay, Teyla," McKay told her, examining the fruit she passed him. It looked more like a kiwi fruit with the fuzz, but it was nearly twice the size of those grown in New Zealand. "How do you eat these?"

"They are out through a cleaning process to remove the out layer and then you eat them much the same way you eat apples, but they must be properly cleaned or you could wind up with…let's just say you won't want to eat another one for a long time," Teyla explained as the team headed toward the buildings in the distance. 

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Drakar stared at the group of people headed toward the retreat and silently cursed them for showing up just when things were looking up for him. He knew there was no way he could avoid them and stepped out into the street with his hands held out in front of him. "Major Lorne, I was not expecting to see you so soon."

"We thought we'd make sure you were searching for our friend," Lorne told him.

"I told you it would take time to find out if it was him," Drakar snapped.

"Maybe you did, but we figured it would go a lot faster if we checked into it ourselves," Ronan warned, glaring at the merchant. 

"You don't trust me?"

"Let me answer that," McKay said and stood beside the big Satedan. "No, we don't trust you for a minute!" 

"I should kill you for that!" Drakar said, reaching for the Canadian, but finding his way blocked by Ronan Dex. 

"Touch him and I will tear you apart!" 

"I didn't mean…I wouldn't…I just don't think you realize how dangerous it is here. There are people who would slit your throat just for the weapons you carry," Drakar told them.

"We can take care of ourselves," Lorne assured him. 

"I'm sure you think you can, but you don't know these people the way I do. If you question them they will get angry and…"

"What if we were to offer them the Shoclaws that were promised to you? Do you think they'd cooperate then?" Teyla asked.

"You don't want to make an enemy of me…I have contacts and I can make sure you get nothing no matter how many Shoclaws you offer. Go wait for me at your ship and I will find you when I have what you need!"

"Thanks, but no thanks…we're here and we'll conduct our own investigation into John's disappearance," McKay spat and watched the shoulders slump.

"Look," Drakar said, looking at the newcomers as he spoke. "I was trying to get as many Shoclaws as I could, but I can't let you people endanger yourselves because of my greed. The man you thought was your friend is dead…he died in an explosion two days ago. It is hard for the high priestess to talk about him because he was a favorite of hers. I tell you this because as military people you are in danger should the High Priestess decide she wants to enslave you."

"We can handle ourselves," Dex told him.

"I'm sure you can, but the High Priestess has an army at her disposal…I would hate to see something happen to you simply because you did not believe me….how did you get here anyway?"

"I brought them, Drakar, and I know they have more sense than to believe anything you say. Stay with me, Teyla, and your people will be safe," Suduko told them.

"You brought outsiders to the retreat…you could be banned from…"

"Drakar, it's time you realized there is no way to ban me since I have an interest in the stones and can easily turn them cold should I so desire," Suduko said with a grin as he motioned for the others to follow him. "He is an idiot who thinks he is important. High Priestess Shazzia has many acquaintances here, but she is not well liked amongst the people who live in the retreat."

"But of course…you see I know the secret of the stones…come, we will stay at my home and rest for the night and tomorrow I will accompany you as you speak with the people," Suduko said and motioned for them to follow him.

"Does he remind anyone else of Lucius Lavin?" McKay asked softly and heard a guttural agreement from Ronan Dex. 

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

John wasn't sure how he stayed on his feet as long as he did, but there was no way in hell he could stand if his life depended on it. His ribs were broken, how many he wasn't sure, but right now it felt like every single one was mangled beyond recognition. His knuckles were bruised and bleeding; his right wrist was twisted at an impossible angle, while blood streamed from several deep wounds to his face. His right knee was misshapen and his leg could no longer hold his weight, yet John would not bow his head to this man. Pain raced along nerve endings until they felt raw and jagged as he hauled his body up with the help of the black leather-like sofa. How they'd managed to wind up in here he could not fathom, but at least it gave him a chance to stand. 

Hawk watched as John's face as he tried to get back on his feet and knew this man was battered, but far from beaten when the dark head came up and the eyes focused on him. Admiration was a word he seldom used where his possessions were concerned, but in this case it seemed warranted. The man was proud, too proud to bow down even when faced with such complete and utter defeat at the hands of a master. There was no doubt in his mind that John was physically defeated, his body battered and broken, but his defiant spirit remained and Hawk wondered if he really wanted his captive to bow down to him. Perhaps he had finally found his equal and breaking him would be too much like breaking himself. 

"Come, John, it is time to tend your injuries…"

"I'd rather h…have Car…Carson…"

"Who is Carson?" Hawk asked and watched the man's face closely.

"Carson…a friend…I think," John managed and stood up, leaning heavily on the arm of the couch when his leg threatened to give out. "I don't know…I wish I…I did."

"If he is a friend then you had better hope he doesn't come looking for you, John."

"Why?"

"Because I will kill to protect my property," Hawk said and moved so fast that John had no chance to react. He scooped the smaller man into his arms and carried him deeper into the inner chambers. 

John struggled, but it was useless as Hawk carried him through the rooms and finally eased him onto a soft bed. His body hurt more than he thought possible and he wondered whether he'd suffered internal injuries that could easily kill him. He looked up as Hawk returned holding several items and placed them on the table beside the bed. 

"Now, why don't we get you taken care of," Hawk suggested and began removing what was left of his captive's clothing.

"I can do it," John told him, hating the weak quality of his voice as he tried to sit up. It should have been impossible, but he managed and lifted his head to look at his captor. The look brought a smile to Hawk's face and John silently cursed as he tried to removed the clothing, but injured ribs and pain made it impossible to lift his arms. 

"This should help," Hawk told him and readied a syringe.

"What is it?" John asked, trying unsuccessfully to move away. 

"It is something I had developed through the years and will help ease the pain…"

"Take m…more than t…that," John stammered as the needle slipped into a vein on his forearm. 

"Actually, you will be surprised at how fast this works. Once it takes effect I will set your wrist and check your ribs and knee," Hawk advised.

John felt a lessening of the pain as his eyelids grew heavy. He could hear Hawk speaking, explaining what he was doing, but the man's face had been replaced by one that held a sympathetic gaze and a promise of a lifetime. 'Carson…' he thought as Hawk's drug pulled him under. 

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Remember, Never to Forget--2

Remember, Never to Forget--9

Elizabeth Weir leaned against the railing and stared out over the ocean as her thoughts turned to the missing man. John Sheppard was as stubborn as any man she'd ever known and often they were at loggerheads with each other, but she would not change anything about him. John was such an integral part of Atlantis and there were times when she sensed the city itself missed his presence. She knew that was impossible, but it didn't make it any less real.

"Elizabeth, has there been any word from Rodney?"

Weir turned to see Carson Beckett standing in the open doorway and shook her head sadly. "Not since Major Lorne checked in and said they were headed into the mountains."

"When are they due to check in again?" Beckett asked, joining her at the railing and feeling the soft wind on his face.

"Lorne said it could be several days because there's no reception in the mountains," Weir answered. She knew Beckett was worried about the team, truth was so was she, but they needed to have answers and right now this seemed like the only way. If Lorne confirmed that John Sheppard was alive they would have to come up with a plan to bring him home, and God only knew what had happened to him during the last few months.

"If Colonel Sheppard is found there's no telling what shape he'll be in," Beckett said as if reading her mind.

"I know," Weir agreed softly. She remembered when she'd chosen Carson Beckett to be CMO of Atlantis and had never regretted the move. The man knew what to do when it came to life and death situations and something told her that's exactly what this would be 'if' they did find Sheppard alive. The two remained silent and stood watching the sun go down as the soft breeze picked up and white caps appeared on the ocean.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

High Priestess Shazzia of Denubia was a woman who got what she wanted…either by choice or by force if necessary. She knew who had purchased John and knew it would be hard to get him back, but she had the power and the funds to take what she wanted. She'd grown up fighting for her rightful place in a family of six kids…five boys and one girl. She'd taken what she wanted from the beginning and learned how to make other bow down to her. Her parents and brothers were both living on their home world, but she'd chosen to spread her wings and make her fortune on her own.

"High Priestess, I have news," Bekha said upon entering her chambers.

"You have found him?"

"I know who purchased John and he has taken him to his world," Bekha answered. He'd already given her the man's name and knew she would understand the dangers of going up against a man like Hawk.

"It was Hawk?"

"Yes, High Priestess. He left for Sheyenne shortly after paying for John. I tried to contact him, but there is a solar storm and it is making communications impossible," Bekha explained.

"Hawk has probably taken his slaves to the underground chambers to wait out the storm," Shazzia observed and wondered how her slave was faring against the larger man. It was well known amongst the other slavers that Hawk chose his slaves carefully and on several occasions he liked to go one on one with his newest acquisition. More often than not the newcomer wound up severely injured was never seen again, but there were a few who managed to survive. Shazzia silently prayed 'John' was one of the 'lucky' ones.

"It will be hard to get him back," Bekha told her.

"I know, but I will get him back," Shazzia vowed and looked at the man who'd stood beside her since the day she left her home. "Send word to Domitar and have him tell Drakar that I want him to get rid of the people searching for John."

"You want them disposed of?"

"If that's what it takes," Shazzia answered.

"I heard that one is a military officer and another is a scientist," Bekha told her.

"Interesting…the military officer….does he have the same rank as John?"

"No, High Priestess…"

"Then he is of no use to me. Kill them and be done with them," Shazzia said and reached for the bottle of white wine that accompanied her meal. She'd been thinking about John since his sale and knew if she did get him back she would keep him as her own private slave, but first she had to make sure everyone thought he was dead. "Bekha."

"Yes, High Priestess?"

"Forget what I said about killing John's people…I have something better in mind."

"What would you have me do?"

"Find someone who fits John's physical appearance. I think we can dispose of the newcomers by giving them what they are looking for."

"John's body?"

"Exactly," Shazzia told him. "We simply make sure his face his unrecognizable."

"I shall see that it's done, High Priestess," Bekha assured her and hurried from the room.

Shazzia sipped the wine, enjoying the tart taste of it as she thought about the future and having the virile male as her bed warmer. Things were looking good, but she still had to reacquire John before she could enjoy the feel of his body. With a heavy sigh she sank back against the cushions and closed her eyes.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

"Now that's impressive isn't it," Rodney McKay observed upon entering Suduko's home. The living room had Cathedral style ceiling with tapestries hanging from the walls that reminded him of the ones in the castles he'd visited in Ireland, Scotland, and England. The floors looked like highly polished marble with area rugs scattered throughout. There was a couch and chair placed in front of a roaring fireplace and an unfamiliar animal hide hung from the rafters. A set of heavy swords were crisscrossed above the mantle and several stones cast light on the room.

"I am glad you like it, Dr. McKay," Suduko said with a hearty grin as he clapped his hands. Immediately several servants stepped into the room carrying trays of food and beakers of wine. "Come, we must eat if we are to find your friend."

"Nice place," Ronan said and moved to the table set against one wall.

"It's home," Suduko told him. "My sister and her husband take care of it while I'm away on business. Kierra, come meet my friends."

"Welcome home, big brother," a petite woman said, hugging the big man before turning to the newcomers. "Welcome to our home."

"Thank you, Miss…"

"No miss…I am Kierra and this is my husband Bendor," Kierra introduced a bear of a man who shook hands with Suduko before doing the same to the newcomers.

"Kierra and Bendor stay in my home and keep unwanted strangers from moving in," Suduko said.

"Is that a problem here?" Teyla asked.

"Yes, there are those who think they can take what they want by simply moving into an unoccupied home," Bendor explained.

"We have them on earth too…they're called squatters," McKay told them, picking up what looked to be a chicken leg and biting into the rich tasting meat. "This is good."

"Kierra is a wonderful cook," Bendor told him as the group took their places around the table.

"So, this man you are looking for…"

"His name is John Sheppard and he's a good friend," Teyla answered, watching the way Rodney's eyes clouded with pain. "We were separated…"

Rodney dropped the meat on his plate and walked away from the table as Teyla told the story of their missing friend. He made his way to the window and pushed aside the heavy drape. He knew there was nothing he could do to change what had happened, but it didn't lessen the guilt that surrounded his heart and threatened to choke him. John Sheppard…God if it really was him why hadn't he tried to contact them? If…when they found him would they he even know who they were? Was that it? Did Sheppard have amnesia? Was that why he was incognito?

"Rodney, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Teyla," McKay lied.

"If he's here we'll find him," Teyla assured him.

"I hope so…I know it could have been my imagination, but I swear it was Sheppard," the Canadian told her, eyes glistening with unshed moisture.

"Then that's what you hold on to, Rodney. If you believe you saw John Sheppard then we'll turn over every rock and check every crevice until we've exhausted all possibilities. Then if you're still sure we'll start all over again," Teyla offered with a slight smile.

"Thanks, Teyla…"

"You are welcome. Why don't you join us?"

"In a minute…I'm okay, Teyla, I just need to be alone for a little while," McKay said and turned his attention back to the window. He could feel her watching him, but did not acknowledge her presence as his thoughts turned to the missing man once more. _'I'll find you, Sheppard, no matter how long it takes,'_ he silently vowed.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Hawk knew his captive was surfacing from the deep sleep he'd been in and gently adjusted the blankets that covered the lower half of his body. There were deep bruises across his chest and Hawk knew he'd cracked a couple of ribs on top of the broken wrist and damaged knee. He regretted causing the injuries, but John needed to learn his place. A soft sigh reached his ears and he watched as the eyelids fluttered and finally opened revealing orbs that spoke of the pain he felt. "Welcome back, John, how do you feel?"

"You should know…you're the one who did this," John snapped, shifting slightly as Hawk's big hand clasped onto his left wrist.

"Didn't you learn anything, John, or do we start all over again?" Hawk asked, anger evident in his eyes.

"You proved your point,' John spat, trying unsuccessfully to free his left hand as a smile formed on his 'owner's' face.

"I guess I did, but it appears you are still insolent," Hawk said, releasing his captive's hand. "I believe you will need to wear the marks of a slave."

"What marks?" John asked, hating how weak his voice sounded.

"Until you learn to show me the proper respect you will wear the chain of a slave whenever we are in public," Hawk told him. "You will be put in leg and wrist cuffs and will be led around by a leash…"

"No," John whispered, but he could see the determination in his captor's eyes. "Don't…"

"It's too late, John," Hawk told him and stood up. "For now you will remain in bed until the swelling in your knee goes down. The medication I have given you should take care of that in a less than a cycle."

John watched as the big man reached into a drawer and pulled out a gold colored cuff. He knew fighting wouldn't prove anything as Hawk locked the cuff securely around his left wrist and attached a length of chain to it before locking it to a hook set in the wall beside the bed.

"I have several things to do and do not want to worry about what you are doing, John," Hawk explained and pulled over a table that held several items. "I know you're hurting, but you should try to eat…the fruits are soft and should be easy on your stomach. I will be back as soon as I've arranged for some sport with the other…"

"Slavers," John spat. He heard the soft laughter as the big man left him alone in the room. John waited until he heard the door close and turned his attention to the cuff encircling his left wrist. He twisted his arm, trying to make his hand smaller, but there was no way he could pull it from the metal circle. He pushed back the blankets, cursing the fact that his clothing had been removed, leaving him with nothing but the blankets for cover. He slid his legs over the edge, gasping when his right foot hit the floor hard and sent daggers of pain through his injured knee.

"Sonofabitch," John cursed and lifted his leg back onto the bed. It took everything he had to calm his nerves and bring the pain under control. He slid up on the bed and adjusted the pillows before leaning back against them and closing his eyes. He drifted toward sleep and let the images flow as he sank deeper. The faces were clearer, but he couldn't quite grasp the names that went with them. One face in particular rose above the others and the blue eyes sent a promise that John latched on to…the promise that help was out there…searching for him.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Remember, Never to Forget--2

Remember, Never to Forget--10

Drakar wrinkled his nose in disgust at the stench of decay from the body. Shazzia was willing to pay him handsomely for duping the Atlantians and sending them away from the retreat. He knew it would be a hard sell, but he prided himself on knowing exactly what to say to Suduko's guests. He left the body where it was, crumpled against the boulders at the base of a cliff and hurried toward Suduko's home just as the sun rose above the mountains. He knocked on the door several times before Kierra opened it and shook her head angrily.

"The sun is barely up! What do you want, Drakar?" Kierra snapped.

"I must speak with Lieutenant Lorne," Drakar told her.

"He is a guest in Suduko's home and is sleeping…"

"I have news of their missing friend," Drakar said, hoping she would allow him to speak with Lorne.

"Kierra, is there a problem?"

"This…Drakar says he has word of your guests missing friend," Kierra answered as the big man stepped forward.

"What news?" Suduko asked.

"I do not need to tell you, Suduko…"

"Perhaps not, but I will not allow you to upset my guests unless I know what you are saying is true."

"I found John Sheppard's body near the base of the Black Cliffs."

"You found him? Am I to believe you recognized him from the pictures you were shown?"

"No, but High Priestess Shazzia sent word that the slave she knew as John displeased her and that she felt he should be a example for others who fail to do as she says. She told Domitar he was thrown over the Black Cliffs two days ago," Drakar lied.

"You believe second hand information?" Suduko asked.

"I believe High Priestess Shazzia would do something like this. She has done it before…we have both witnessed her cruelty."

"Yes, we have…did you bring his body?"

"I had no way of retrieving it, but you could get to him with your vessel," Drakar said.

"You will show me where his body is," Suduko ordered and turned to his sister. "Kierra, tell my guests I had an emergency, but I will be back to help them…tell them nothing of this until I return."

"Yes, Brother, but please be careful," Kierra told him and watched the two men leave. She turned to find her husband watching her and hugged him before heading into the kitchen to start the morning meal.

"Where is Suduko going at this hour?"

"Drakar had news, but we both know how he lies to get what he wants. There is something else behind the discovery of the body," Kierra answered.

"What body?"

"Teyla, I did not know you were there. Come join us for coffee," Kierra offered and poured the strong black liquid into three cups. "It is going to be beautiful today…"

"Kierra, you said something about a body," Teyla said, watching the other woman closely.

"Tell her, Kierra," Bendor ordered and held his wife close as she explained why Suduko had gone with Drakar.

"I am sorry, Teyla, we had hoped to keep this news from you until Suduko was back and had more information," Kierra explained.

Teyla sank down on the chair as her heart beat a staccato rhythm in her chest. She'd dealt with John's death before, but was not ready to face it again, not when they'd only just begun to hope he was alive. She placed the cup on the counter and wiped the moisture from her eyes.

"Teyla, it's possible that it isn't your friend," Bendor told her.

"My brother will check into it and retrieve the body," Kierra offered.

"Where is he?" Teyla asked.

"Drakar said he is at the base of the Black Cliffs. It is hard to get there, but Suduko will do everything he can to get to him and bring him back to you," Kierra assured her.

"Rodney will be devastated if it is John. He still blames himself for what happened."

"What did happen?" Bendor asked.

"We were on a mission to P63-2K9. The people there are friendly and we were hoping to find new allies to trade with. Before we had a chance to really talk several ships showed up…I believe they belonged to Shazzia, but I could be wrong. Anyway there were creatures inside…they reminded me of insects John and Rodney showed us from Earth, but these things were a lot more dangerous than insects. John got trapped aboard one of the ships with and explosive device and was caught by one of the creatures. We could see what it was doing to him, but there was nothing we could do to help him. There were just too many of them. John knew this and he kept telling Rodney to blow the explosive and the look on Rodney's face I hoped never to see again…"

"Did Rodney do it?" Kierra asked softly.

"Yes, he had no choice…John was dying anyway because of the creature," Teyla explained. "I don't know if I would have had the strength to push the button."

"So what makes you believe John survived?" Bendor asked.

"We didn't…not at first, but Rodney spotted him at the marketplace and even called to him, but John showed no sign he heard," Teyla told them. "If this…this body is John…Rodney will…"

"Let's hope Drakar is mistaken," Kierra said and placed her hand on Teyla's. "Keep faith and perhaps John is still waiting for you to find him."

"Thank you, Kierra," Teyla said and sipped at the strong coffee. Her mind wandered back over the weeks since John Sheppard supposedly died and she hoped and prayed the sadness would not descend on Atlantis again.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

John didn't realize he'd dozed off until he heard someone enter the room. He knew who it was and didn't bother opening his eyes until Hawk fastened something to the collar around his neck. He tried to grab his wrist, but the big man was stronger than anyone he'd ever fought and simply swatted his hand away.

"I warned you about the consequences of your actions, John," Hawk told him. "I will not allow you to be insolent when we are in the company of others. You will put on the clothing I have provided…"

"If I refuse?"

"Then I will take you to the games as you are. I'm sure the females would enjoy seeing your attributes," Hawk told him and released the chain attached to his captives left wrist. "You have five minutes."

John was a man who didn't take orders well, but he also understood the position he was now in. Hawk didn't make idle threats and he knew the big man would march him through the underground chambers wearing nothing but the cuffs around his wrists. John looked at the clothing in disgust, but given the choice between wearing the simple slave garb or going naked he reached for the pants and pulled them on. The material was coarse and scratched his skin, but a little discomfort was something he could put up with compared to the other option. The shirt had no sleeves and laced up the front and he quickly tied a knot at the top to keep it closed. Last came a pair of slip on moccasins that were surprisingly comfortable.

John stood up, gasping as pain shot through his knee as he tried to work out the stiffness that had set in while he'd been in the bed. He limped around the room, but there was no easing the pain stemming from the injury. He sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing the area above his knee and wishing he was somewhere else. His thoughts drifted as a decidedly Scottish brogue seemed to scold him, for what he couldn't remember, but the voice gave him a sense of belonging and he reached for it.

"Good, you are ready," Hawk said upon re-entering the room and finding his property dressed and seated on the bed. "Come, John, my friends are waiting…what are you thinking about?"

"I…who…I don't know," John answered as the memory that had given him warmth disappeared and he found himself staring at the man towering over him.

"John, if I find out you're lying to me you will be punished," Hawk warned and placed a set of gold manacles on his captives wrists. "Behave and perhaps I will dispense with the cuffs…but if you do anything to displease or disgrace me with my friends I will not only use these, but also the ankle restraints and you will be chained up every night. Understood?"

"I hear you" John said, swallowing the pride as he was pulled to his feet. He felt bile rise in his throat as Hawk took the leash and led him from the sleep chamber. He gritted his teeth and tried to ignore the pain, but Hawk stopped and turned to him.

"John, why didn't you say your knee was still hurting?"

"Would it have mattered?" John snapped.

"Of course…I have medications that will help," Hawk said and forced his captive to sit on one of the chairs in the outer chamber. "Stay there!"

John looked at his manacled wrists and tried to pull his hands free, but the harder he tried the tighter they became and he stopped trying when Hawk returned. The big man reached down and rolled up the loose fitting pants, revealing a knee that was still swollen and as colorful as any sunset John had ever seen.

"This will help bring down the swelling and ease the pain, but the injection itself is painful," Hawk warned and cleaned an area on each side of the injured knee.

John gasped as the long needle entered his body and a burning sensation nearly sent him to the floor. He held his breath as his owner removed the needle and repeated the injection on the opposite side. The burning seemed to go on forever before easing and John opened his eyes to stare at the man kneeling before him.

"That should help. How do you feel?"

"I'm okay," John answered, frowning at how much concern this man showed. Hawk was a slaver, and John hated his lot in life, but the man seemed to take care of his slaves. _'Funny…look at yourself, John…he really took care of you,' _John thought.

"Is it better?"

"Think so," John answered and stood up, amazed that the knifing pain was no longer present.

"Good…next time tell me," Hawk ordered and took the leash. He shortened it so that John was walking beside him and pressed the buttons on the console.

John looked around as they exited Hawk's private chambers and entered a dimly lit corridor. He knew they were headed toward the area where the fights were held and hoped he would see Tyrel when they reached their destination. They never passed anyone, but there were several doors set at different intervals that perfectly matched the one leading to Hawk's chambers. John shivered and realized it was cold in the hallway, almost too cold.

"It's because we are so far below the surface," Hawk offered when he noticed his captive was shivering. "The cage area is warmer, but we found it unnecessary to heat the corridors since they are only used for travel."

John listened to the man's explanation until they reached a door that looked to be twelve feet wide by twelve feet high. He watched as Hawk put his hand inside a hidden recess and the door swung inward. The noise was instantaneous as the other slavers shouted out bids in languages John didn't understand. The lights were bright and emanated more heat than the ones in Hawk's quarters and John soon felt beads of sweat form on his forehead.

"So, Hawk, is this your newest acquisition?" a short, robust female with no hair asked.

"He is one of them, Piatra…the others will be involved in the fights," Hawk answered.

"You're not putting him in the cages?"

"No…he was injured and is unable to fight," Hawk explained.

"I see…I take it he needed to be taught a lesson," she said with a grin.

"He is stubborn, but he knows who owns him now."

"Does he?" Piatra asked, eyeing John closely as if she could read his emotions. "Does Hawk own you, John?"

"No one owns me," John spat, stumbling when Hawk yanked on his leash.

"John, you were warned…"

"I believe he's in need of another lesson, Hawk, want me to teach him the proper way for a slave to behave?"

"I know how to handle my property, Piatra," Hawk told her. "John will be punished when and how I see fit."

"Too bad…I think I'd have enjoyed showing him the way of things…"

"Hawk, one of your slaves is about to enter the ring…hurry if you want good seats!"

"We're coming, Syngy," Hawk said and pulled John around the female toward the main stairway leading up to the raised platform.

John didn't say anything, but he knew Hawk was angry as they made their way toward the front row of seats. He heard the cheers and jeers as the newest combatants were placed in the cage where they'd become entertainment for the slavers. He couldn't help looking inside and gasped when he saw Tyrel dressed only on a pair of cutoff pants, silver bracelets wrapped tightly around his upper arms. The Goliaden looked terrified and as John turned his head he could understand why. Tyrel was big, but the other slave was twice his size and looked as if he'd been in combat before.

"Don't do this, Hawk…"

"Did you say something, John?"

"Get Tyrel out of there before that creature kills him."

"It is part of the sport, John. Tyrel knows what is expected of him and if he wins he will be well rewarded…"

"What if he doesn't?" John asked, his stomach churning at the thought of what was about to happen.

"It's a fight to the death, John…I thought you knew that. These games are to keep us entertained while we wait for the storms to subside. There is a good chance that Tyrel's youth and strength will be enough to make him victorious. Sit beside me and we shall watch together."

"I don't want…"

"It does not matter what you want, John," Hawk warned. "Sit down, or I will add more to your punishment."

"Why not put him in the cage, Hawk?"

"John is not a fighter, Syngy," Hawk told him. "He is…"

"Your pet?" Syngy said with a grin as he motioned to the leash.

"You could say that," Hawk said and saw the fire raging within the intense eyes that stared at him. "Would you prefer to take Tyrel's place, John?"

"Yes," John spat.

"Too bad…perhaps someday when I grow weary of your insolence, but for now you will remain untouched by the fights," Hawk said and signaled for the games to begin.

John wanted to turn away, but the young man in the cage had touched him in some way that made him want to protect him. His opponent was huge and when he stood in front of the Goliaden, John could not see him. The fight was brutal and vicious and before long both combatants were bleeding and moving a little slower.

"Tyrel is doing very well considering the size difference. If he wins I may reward him," Hawk said.

"How, by making him fight another monster?" John asked sarcastically. He knew he'd pay for it later, but seeing the young Goliaden fighting for his life rubbed him the wrong way.

"Hold your tongue, John, or I will have you gagged," Hawk warned.

"Damn, Hawk, he is a spitfire and it would be wonderful to see him in the cages," Syngy said, shaking his head as he stared at the other man's slave.

"Perhaps you are right, Syngy, but he will not go to the cages today. I have another punishment in mind for him and because of his behavior it will be in public. Perhaps we can whip some of the insolence from him," Hawk said, watchin his slave for any sign of fear, and hiding his admiration when there was none.

John knew he was in trouble, and returned his attention to the fight as Tyrel let out a primeval roar and struck his opponent across the neck. The bigger man went down hard and John swore the cage rattled as Tyrel turned and stared at him. He heard cheers and jeers and watched in utter disgust as 'money' changed hands and new bets were made while others bid on Hawk's slave. 'I hate this,' he thought and prayed someday he'd find his way home, wherever that was.

**SGASGASGASGASGA**

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Remember, Never to Forget--2

Remember, Never to Forget--11

Suduko carefully loaded the body into the cargo hold and wished there was some way to lighten the blow to his passengers. He didn't know them very well, but he knew and understood that they cared for their missing friend. There was also a great deal of loyalty amongst them, and that was something he respected. Loyalty wasn't something you gave freely, it had to be earned.

"What will you tell his friends?" Drakar asked.

"I will tell them to make sure of the identity," Suduko answered and closed the door.

"But we know…"

"We know nothing about this John Sheppard and there fore should not jump to conclusions about this body. There is no face and it appears the animals have fed on the poor soul making it hard to see any distinguishing factors. Only his people will be able to make the identification," Suduko told him and moved toward the pilot's seat and began closing the outer hatch. "I will let you know what their answer is."

"Wait a minute…what about me?"

"What about you?"

"How will I get back to the retreat?"

"Walk…run…crawl, but I really don't give a damn how you do it," Suduko said and finished closing the hatch and piloting the ship away from the cursing man. He'd never liked Drakar and felt the man was greedy and lower than the creatures that crawled on their bellies, setting off a stench in their wake.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Rodney sat on the porch swing outside the main entrance to Suduko's home, nursing a cup of Kierra's special brew that tasted distinctly like a cross between coffee and hot chocolate. It had taken him several hours of tossing and turning before he'd fallen asleep. His dreams had been filled with the horrifying final seconds of John Sheppard's life and he'd relived the creature's attack right up until he'd pressed the button. He'd woken soon after Suduko's departure, but no one seemed to know where the big man had gone. He turned as the door opened and Ronan stepped out to join him.

"I didn't expect to see you up this early," Ronan said. He'd seen the exhaustion on McKay's face the night before and hoped the Canadian would get some much needed rest, but it was not to be. Rodney hadn't slept very well or for very long since John Sheppard's 'death'. Now, with the possibility that Sheppard was alive, McKay seemed to be sleeping even less, and eating was also something that seemed forced.

"Never could sleep very well in a strange place," McKay told him.

"How did you manage in Atlantis?"

"I've never been able to figure that out," the Scientist answered. "It just seemed like home from the minute we stepped through the gate."

"Atlantis has that affect on a lot of people," Ronan said and sat on the top step.

"What made you decide to stay, Ronan?"

"Atlantis was part of it, but I think it was Sheppard and you…Teyla and Elizabeth and just about every one I met except Cavanaugh," the Setedan answered.

"Cavanaugh does seem to…"

"Be a pain in the rear," Ronan finished as Lorne and Teyla joined them.

"Is Suduko back?" Teyla asked.

"Not yet," Rodney answered and watched Teyla suspiciously. "Teyla, where did he go?"

"I don't know, Rodney…"

"You know something, Teyla," McKay stated, but stopped when he spotted Suduko's vehicle returning. He stood up and placed the cup on the rail and watched until the ship came to a stop in the clearing. He watched as the big man exited through the partially open door and could tell something was wrong. He stepped off the porch and made his way toward the craft with the others following close behind. "Suduko, where were you?" Rodney asked, not the least bit intimidated by the larger man.

"Drakar was here and he…"

"Is there news of Sheppard?" McKay asked hopefully, but the look on Suduko's face sent a tremor of fear down his spine.

"Drakar said a body was found at the Black Cliffs," Suduko answered.

"Oh, God," McKay said, relieved when Ronan gripped his arm and steadied him. "Is it…"

"I do not know, but he is wearing the clothing High Priestess Shazzia's slaves."

"That doesn't mean anything," Ronan said.

"No, it doesn't, but from what you told me and the pictures he is the same build and coloring," Suduko answered.

"I want to see him," McKay said, moving toward the vessel.

"He's in the cargo hold, but I should warn you there is nothing left of his face and it looks like the animals got to his body before I did," Suduko warned, watching the horror on their faces as he disclosed the shape the body was in.

"Then it might not be Sheppard," Ronan stated, again using his hands to steady the Canadian.

"To be honest I don't think it is," Suduko told them once they reached the rear hatch. "Drakar is not an honest merchant and if he smells a chance to make some extra Shoclaws he'll grab it. It would not surprise me if he's made a deal with Shazzia."

"What kind of deal?" Teyla asked.

"Shazzia is known to sell her slave to the highest bidder. If Drakar told her that John Sheppard is military you can bet she's going to put out the word that she has him and set up a private bidding."

"We need to make sure this is not John before we go any further," Emmagan said angrily.

"I just wanted you all to be prepared," Suduko said sympathetically before opening the hatch and showing his guests the body encase in a synthetic material designed to preserve the final remains.

Rodney moved in close and eyed the body, forcing his mind to work on the scientific evidence and not the emotions warring for dominance. He knew John Sheppard better than the others and prayed there would be some way to get an answer without taking the body back to Atlantis.

"Rodney…"

"I don't know, Teyla," McKay snapped, apologizing immediately before moving closer and shifting the remains of the slave clothing away from the upper chest while keeping his eyes diverted from the grizzly remains of the destroyed face. He touched the skin and felt the cold lifeless body beneath his fingertips before frowning.

"Rodney, what is it?" Teyla asked and saw the shoulders slump and a half hearted gasp escaped from McKay's face.

"McKay?" Ronan snapped.

"It's not him," McKay said and turned to face the others as hope flared in his heart.

"How can you be sure without a thorough examination?" Suduko asked.

"Easy, John Sheppard was fed upon by a wraith and there was a scar here, but there's no evidence of the feeding," McKay said.

"Your friend was fed upon by a wraith and survived?" Kierra asked as she and her husband joined the group.

"Yes, he was. A Genii commander named Kolya took John prisoner and allowed a wraith prisoner to feed on him," Emmagan explained.

"I have seen the mark left by the wraith and you are right there is nothing here," Kierra told them.

"Is there any way of finding out who he is?" Lorne asked.

"Probably not if he was one of Shazzia's slaves," Suduko answered.

"Somewhere someone mourns his loss," Teyla said softly.

"I will see that he gets a proper burial," Bendor told them.

"Perhaps he can help us," Suduko said and saw the others frowning at his words. "Drakar is greedy and not to be trusted. If he is involved in trying to dupe you then I would suggest turning the tables on him. Make him believe that his ruse worked and that you are grieving for your friend. Maybe he'll lead us to John Sheppard if he is still alive."

"He's alive," McKay said softly before walking away from the others. John Sheppard was alive, of that he was sure now, but he was hurting and alone and Rodney vowed somehow he'd make up for blowing up the ship and leaving his friend alone.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

The fights were over, but somehow John knew the reason the others stayed where they were. Syngy had been speaking to those nearby and John had heard him tell them of Hawk's plans to punish his slave in public. John hid the fear inside, watching as Tyrel was taken from the cage and brought to stand in front of them.

"You did well, Tyrel, and will be rewarded," Hawk said.

"Tyrel, are you okay?" John asked.

"You are not permitted to speak to him, John," Hawk warned and returned his attention to the Goliaden. "Tyrel of Glione you have proven yourself to be a fine warrior and will wear the mark of Hawk proudly on your chest."

"Mark?" Tyrel asked, his voice edged with fear.

"A collar that marks you as a champion," Hawk said and pulled it from the satchel at his waist. He attached it to the Goliaden's neck and stood back. "Wear it with honor and pride each time you face an opponent."

"Yes, Master Hawk," Tyrel said and basked in the glow of Hawk's attention.

"Very good, now you will be taken to the special quarters I have arranged for my champions. You will be given a healthy meal and allowed to rest until you are due in the cage. A doctor will come see you and make sure there are no dangerous injuries," Hawk explained and signaled for two guards to take Tyrel to the slave quarters before he turned to his recalcitrant prisoner. "Now, John, you have disobeyed and dishonored me in front of my associates and I believe I promised public punishment for you."

John lifted his head and stared at his 'owner' without showing any sign of his distaste or anger. He had no real idea what to expect, but his gaze swept toward the cage as two men entered with a length of chain that was soon looped over a beam at the center. There were silver bracelets attached to each end and John couldn't help the tremor that ran the length of his body when he felt Hawk latch onto his arm.

"It is time, John," Hawk said and dragged the un-protesting man into the cage. "Remove your shirt, John."

John refused to lower his eyes and stared at his 'owner' angrily. He slowly pulled the shirt over his head, revealing a heaving chest that was already marred with scars he could not explain. He dropped the shirt to the floor and soon felt the silver bracelets wrapped around his wrists. The length of chain was shortened until his arms were stretched above his head, but he was able to keep his feet flat on the ground.

John again stared at Hawk as he came to stand in front of him. He could see a two inch wide leather strap in his hands and knew what was about to happen. He knew Hawk expected him to lower his eyes and act contrite, but somehow he knew that would go against everything he believed in…everything that made him who he was even if he couldn't remember exactly who that was.

"John, if you apologize for your behavior I will wave public punishment and we will return to my quarters."

"Go to hell!" John managed and held his breath as Hawk moved behind him. He could hear voices and knew there was money exchanged as bets were placed and called. He heard one of Hawk's associates wager a hundred Shoclaws that Hawk would make him scream by the time the third blow landed. John swore that would not happen…not if he could help it. John felt Hawk's bare hand on his back and held his breath once it was removed.

The sound of the strap being pulled back warned him of the impending impact, but the burning pain as the weapon hit is bare skin made him tremble. He knew what to expect as the second blow landed just below the first, leaving a fiery trail that nearly sent him into convulsions, but he gritted his teeth and bit back the cries that threatened to escape. The third blow landed and he barely held the scream inside as the forth, fifth, and sixth landed in quick succession.

John could no longer stand on his own two feet and hung from the chains as Hawk continued to mete out the punishment. By the time the tenth blow landed, John no longer cared who heard him scream as his back felt like it was a mass of rippling fire shooting tendrils along his nerves endings. He knew the darkness wavering at the edge of his vision offered salvation, but it felt as if he'd be lost if he gave into it.

"We're done, John," Hawk whispered close to his left ear.

"God," John gagged as bile rose up in his throat when Hawk reached up and released his arms. He waited for the impact with the floor of the cage, but it never came. Strong arms reached to grab him and he felt himself lifted and carried from the cage as cheers went up from the spectators. His fingers curled around Hawk's shirt as the big man carried him away from prying eyes and he didn't give a damn when he cried out once they reached Hawk's chambers.

"You need to learn to curb your tongue, John," Hawk warned as he laid the injured man on the bed. His admiration for this man had grown in the cage and several of his associates had offered money to buy John, but Hawk was not going to let him go. He turned the smaller male on his side and knew the welts would heal, but several had been powerful enough to draw blood. "Stay where you are while I get my supplies."

John had no choice, there was no way in hell he could move if he wanted to. His injured knee had taken some new damage while he hung from the chains, but it was nothing compared to the fire raging through his back. He heard Hawk return and felt him spread something over the damaged skin. John gripped the pillow, his knuckled white from the pressure as Hawk treated the wounds.

"I am using another one of my special salves and it will help minimize scarring and help stop infections, but I refuse to give you anything for the pain because you brought it on yourself, John. I am a man who values his property and that is exactly what you are. Until you realize this you and I are going to be at odds and I'm afraid you need to learn to be quiet when we are at the games," Hawk warned.

John kept his eyes closed, listening to the man who proclaimed ownership, but the words didn't get through the raging pain. When darkness reached for him, John gave into it and sank into the dreams and nightmares that waited for him.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Remember, Never to Forget--12

Drakar had cursed Suduko every step of the way back to the retreat. It took nearly half the day to reach the outskirts and make his way to Suduko's home. The man's ship was parked nearby and Drakar could hear voices from the house as he knocked on the door. He smiled at the pretty woman who answered.

"What do you want, Drakar?"

"Kierra, is your brother at home?"

"He is, but he's busy consoling his guests. Why did you not tell them about Shazzia's cruelty?"

"So it was their friend," Drakar said, fighting to keep his emotions in check.

"Yes, it was and we don't need the likes of you around here right now!" Kierra snapped and tried to close the door.

"They owe me for helping find him," Drakar told her.

"Get out of here, Drakar, before I let them question you on how you found him?" Suduko said as he joined his sister at the door.

"We had a deal…"

"Perhaps you did, but I doubt you'll be paid since John Sheppard is dead. Leave my home, Drakar, or I will let Ronan speak for his people," The large man said, smiling when the grumbling merchant turned and hurried away.

"We need to watch him," Kierra told her brother.

"I know… I left word with Lakishe and he has arranged for several people to watch Drakar while he is at the retreat," Suduko advised and closed the door.

"Did he believe you?" McKay asked hopefully.

"I think so…if I'm correct in my assessment Drakar will head straight to Domitar and contact Shazzia," Suduko told them. "Domitar is an old man, but he is dangerous when crossed. He and I have had our disagreements in the past, but we have also worked together when it benefited both of us. I will speak with him today and see if he has any information about John Sheppard's 'death'."

"Why are you doing this, Suduko?" Ronan asked.

"I have my reasons, but for now I'll just say we're on the same side…and I don't like slavery," Suduko spat disgustedly.

"My brother was a slave of Shazzia at one time. He still wears the scars she marked him with," Kierra explained when the big man left the room.

"Slavery should be abolished everywhere," McKay said and reached for a piece of the fruit Kierra offered. He walked toward the window and stared outside as Suduko lifted a heavy axe and began splitting the chunks of wood for the fire place. The man's muscles rippled with the effort he put into his work and Rodney was glad the man was on their side.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Domitar didn't trust Drakar, but right now he knew Shazzia wanted news of their ruse. He nodded for the younger man to enter and motioned for him to sit down before speaking. "Did they believe it is John Sheppard's body you discovered?"

"Yes, at least that's what Suduko told me."

"Suduko is a smart man, Drakar," Domitar said. "He is not easily duped and if these people are from Atlantis then they have the means to verify whether or not it is John Sheppard. You need to make sure that does not happen."

"There is nothing more I can do…Suduko took the body to them and I am not welcome in his home."

"Then you must find a way to destroy the body before they can leave," Domitar warned.

"I can't…"

"You will find a way…or face Shazzia's anger," Domitar told him.

"I did what she wanted and I need to be paid so I can get back to the marketplace," Drakar said.

"I will speak to Shazzia about it, but you know Shazzia does not like to be told what to do."

"I…look, I'll see if I can find a way to destroy the body, but Suduko will be angered if he thinks I had anything to do with it."

"Find out where the body is being held and I will provide you with the means to destroy it," Domitar said.

"I will do what I can," Drakar said and hurriedly left the room.

Domitar leaned back, gnarled fingers crippled by years of hard work reached for the stub of a pipe and placed it between cracked lips. He drew deeply of the strong tobacco and smiled at the woman who stepped through the hidden door. "He is a loose end that could cost you everything, Shazzia."

"Perhaps we can be rid of him at the same time he destroys the body," Shazzia told him.

"Have you found a way to get John Sheppard back?"

"Not yet…Hawk's world is still under the solar storm and it looks like it could be several cycles before it passes," the woman answered.

"Hawk is not going to give Sheppard up easily…and he doesn't need Shoclaws," Domitar told her.

"No, he doesn't, but Hawk has enemies and if it comes down to it I will kill him to get my property back."

"He is not your property any longer, Shazzia."

"I expect it will come to that…tell me why you are so anxious to get Sheppard back when I know you have more Shoclaws than you could spend in three lifetimes," Domitar said.

"It is not the Shoclaws, Old Friend…it is the fact that John Sheppard could be the key to making new alliances or strengthening old ones," the woman told him.

"The Genii?"

"Amongst others," Shazzia told him. "Arrange for Drakar to meet with an accident at the same time he destroys the body."

"I will do what I can, Shazzia," Domitar said, taking a deep breath of the strong tobacco as he watched her leave. He could easily wash his hands of this matter, but High Priestess Shazzia and her family had been long time friends and allies to him and he owed her a debt of untold proportions.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

John opened his eyes and winced as he shifted and the blankets touched up against his raw back. He blinked several times until the room came into focus, but there was something wrong, something that plagued him, yet he couldn't make sense of the pain or the sense of loneliness that threatened to swallow him whole. He shifted on the bed and swung his legs over the side, staring at the length of chain that ran from his neck to a locked hook set in the wall next to the bed.

John hated the feeling of being a prisoner and reached up to touch the collar encircling his neck. Their seemed to be no way of opening it and he silently cursed as he grabbed the pitcher off the table and threw it across the room. Pain flared in his back as the ravaged flesh opened and blood seeped from the wounds. He closed his eyes as a wave of nausea washed over him and threatened to drown him in its intensity.

"You should not be up, John," Hawk chastised upon entering the chamber. It was a testament to his slave's strength that he was even awake, let alone trying to move about after the medications he'd been given. He placed a tray on the table and moved to ease the injured man down on his side, but John had other ideas and moved away from him.

"Don't touch me!" John snarled, breathing through tightly clenched teeth in an effort to stay upright.

"John, you are not in charge here and it's time you realized I can do anything I wish where you are concerned," Hawk warned, reaching out and forcing the injured man to lie down on his side. "Now, how is the pain?"

"How do you think it is, Hawk? It hurts like a sonofabitch because some madman decided I needed to be taught a lesson!" John snapped, fighting to get away from the hated man's touch.

"John, you should heed my warning and hold your tongue or I will find another way to punish you that will make you behave," Hawk warned his eyes deadly as he stared at his 'slave'. John reminded him so much of himself, but he could not, would not allow him to disrespect him in front of his friends.

"Look…I don't belong to you…I'm a free man and I…I…"

"You what?" Hawk asked, watching as John's eyes filled with fear and his hand went to his chest. "John, what are you remembering?"

"Pain…God it hurt so much," John ground out clutching his chest as if he was in agony.

"John, there's nothing there," Hawk said, pulling John's hands away so he could see what was causing such pain.

"The wraith…it fed on me…God…"

"The wraith," Hawk whispered and noted the scar where his slave had touched. "You were fed on by a wraith and survived?"

"Gave me back the life it took…still hurt," John said, smiling as a face appeared in his mind. "Rodney said it made me look younger than before…Rodney…God…"

"Who is Rodney and what does he mean to you, John?"

"I don't know…a friend…I think…talks a lot…smart…says eh a lot," John answered, lying on his side as Hawk slowly applied salve to the ravaged skin of his back. Whatever Hawk was doing, it was making John sleepy and he closed his eyes as his 'owner' made small circles on his shoulders and the salve eased the pain to a more bearable level.

"I believe your memory is returning, John, and I promise that if you hide it from me I will punish you far worse than what happened today," Hawk vowed and felt a small shudder run through the lean frame. "Mark my words, John, because I value my property and I will not allow anyone to interfere in my plans."

John heard him leave and sighed tiredly as flashes of memory raged through his mind. There were many faces, some devoid of emotions while others seemed to be filled with sympathy and fear. Yet through it all one face…the face of reason…the face of sadness seemed to call to him and John latched on to the memory and prayed the man would find him and help him escape Hawk's ownership.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Rodney stood looking up at the strange sky high above the mountains. The dark sky was lit with tiny dots of twinkling lights and McKay wondered if somewhere out there his friend was looking up at the same sky and hoping someone was looking for him. The Canadian had come outside while the others made plans to find out where John Sheppard really was. "Where are you, Sheppard?" he asked softly while staring at a 'star' that seemed to be moving across the sky.

There felt like there was a hole in his world, one that was opening onto a deep abyss that threatened to swallow him up. Never before had anyone impacted his life the way Sheppard had and Rodney missed the banter and teasing that seemed so easy when he was with the colonel.

"Rodney…"

"Over here, Teyla," McKay answered.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, just thinking…"

"About John?"

"Yes…he's out there somewhere and he's alone, Teyla. I know we're doing everything we can to find him, but it's taking so long," McKay told her.

"I know, but Suduko thinks he can find out more by speaking with Domitar…he says it's dangerous and if word gets back to whoever has John it could get him punished or killed," Teyla explained.

"Then we better make damn sure we find him fast," McKay said angrily.

"We'll find him, Rodney," Teyla said and watched the emotions warring for dominance on McKay's face. _'We have to for both your sakes,_' she thought.

"Thanks, Teyla," McKay said and starred up at the sky once more before following Teyla into their hosts home.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Remember, Never to Forget--2

Remember, Never to Forget--13

Ronan was beginning to believe Suduko was a friend in spite of his misgivings. The man seemed to have contacts and was willing to use them to help in the search for John Sheppard. He was convinced now that John was alive, but it seemed like they were at a standstill in their search for the missing man. A man he considered more than just his team leader, Sheppard had proven his friendship again and again during the time Ronan lived on Atlantis.

Suduko had agreed that Ronan could go with him when he visited Domitar, but he'd given his word that he would not interfere in Suduko's business. The problem was Ronan would do anything in his power to help John Sheppard and deal with the consequences at a later date.

Standing outside the rough structure that Suduko had disappeared into; Ronan took the time to look around. The buildings were similar in size and structure and looked as if they'd recently been painted. Domitar's building looked darker than the others and the Setedan wondered how the elderly man could still do business without helpers.

"Excuse me," a female said and Ronan smiled in spite of his misgivings as she hurried past.

An animal, similar to the pictures of dogs Sheppard had showed him darted toward him from between the buildings and Ronan smiled as a small boy hurried after it. A flash of his past made him ache for the loss of his own world and the love of his life, but he knew someday he would find happiness again. He leaned heavily against the small craft Suduko had used to transport them to Domitar's business and brushed the hair away from his face impatiently.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Suduko knew the big Setedan would wait outside, but he also knew the man would come barging through the doors if he thought Domitar was holding back information on their missing friend. He'd known the elderly man for many years and knew of his 'acquaintance' with High Priestess Shazzia of Denubia. Suduko knew from his own captivity that Domitar was more than an 'acquaintance' and that he would have to tread carefully if he wanted the information. He watched the elderly merchant speak with several customers before they were left alone.

"What brings you to my humble abode, Suduko?"

"Information…"

"Are you buying or selling it?" Domitar asked seriously.

"Neither, I know you are in contact with Shazzia and I want information about a slave she acquired several months ago," Suduko said, knowing the older man would respect his truthfulness.

"Shazzia does not appreciate it when I speak to others about her business. So tell me why I should answer your queries?"

"I know all about Shazzia and I know of her love for soldiers. The slave I speak of is a soldier and if Shazzia is willing to deal I am sure his friends would pay any price she asked. She is seeking to impress the Genii, but she may find they are not so easily impressed."

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Suduko," Domitar warned. "Shazzia would not hesitate to destroy you if you interfere in her dealings."

"Shazzia might just find I am not the same man I was when she captured me…you would be well advised to keep that in mind. When you see her tell her I have an offer for her and it would be wise on her part to listen to what I have to say."

"I had a visit from Drakar earlier and he told me they found a body that was identified by the strangers staying under your roof. Was it not their friend?"

"They say it was, but I know Shazzia, Domitar, and she would be furious if one of her slaves died without her being aware of it," Suduko answered, his voice filled with a hardness reserved for people he distrusted.

"Shazzia knows the value of her property…if the slave was hers then the body should be returned to her…"

"No, his friends will bring him home where he will be honored as befitting his station."

"He is a slave…that is…was his station. Nothing can change that," Domitar warned.

"I changed how she saw me…"

"You escaped and Shazzia didn't think it was worth the trouble to bring you back, but you should heed my warning, Suduko, because if you try to mess with her business she will not hesitate to teach you your proper place in her world."

"I am not afraid of Shazzia, and I can assure you I have my own contacts and friends who would not hesitate to take her down if she even tried to mess with my affairs!" Suduko shot back angrily.

"You honestly believe that, Suduko?"

"Yes, I do. Shazzia has often underestimated her enemies and has lost enough battles to know she isn't some all powerful slaver…not since the day I escaped and took several others with me. We have all kept in touch and should Shazzia ever try to move against one of us she will find a force she has never met before," Suduko told him, a sarcastic grin on his face.

"Perhaps someday she will test your strength, Suduko, and I will be there to watch your downfall," Domitar said, taking a deep breath of the sweet smelling cigar he'd lit.

"Perhaps it will be you who will be surprised by the power we have. Tell Shazzia if she did enslave John Sheppard and 'caused' his death then she'll find out that her power is not as far reaching as she thinks," Suduko said and left the elderly man staring at his back. He exited into the bright sunshine and found Ronan impatiently waiting for him.

"Did you find out anything?" the Setedan asked.

"Not much, but he knows more than he's telling me. Domitar and Shazzia have known each other for many cycles and he is loyal to her. It will take some time to find out where she is holding your friend, but I have my contacts and they will help us."

"Sheppard's been missing a long time," Ronan offered as they climbed into the small craft.

"Do you believe he is still alive?"

"I do…why else would they try to make us believe that body was Sheppard?"

"Are you and your friends willing to do anything to get him back?"

"Damn straight we are," Ronan said, using one of Sheppard's sayings that brought a hint of a smile to his face.

"It could get ugly."

"I can do ugly…and if you were forced to listen to McKay speak about how much smarter he is than everybody else you'd know the real meaning of ugly," Ronan said with a grin.

"Please, promise me you won't expose me to that."

Ronan just smiled and turned his attention to the landscape as the craft sailed high over the trees. He thought about McKay and his penchant for rubbing in just how smart he was, and realized the man truly was a genius no matter how you looked at it. Ronan could not fault him for taking pride in his accomplishments, but he would never let the scientist know that because it would go to his already swelled head.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Hawk studied his captive's sleeping face and wondered what his dreams were about. At times a ghost of a smile appeared and John seemed to be seeing something that made him happy. Other times a tear slid from closed eyes and slowly trailed down his cheek as his body shuddered, but he remained locked in whatever dream or nightmare he resided in.

Hawk wondered if the nightmares stemmed from his time with Shazzia or before. It never occurred to him that he was part of the images that warred in John's dreams. Hawk felt he was John's protector and that punishment was something he had to deliver in order to keep tight rein on the stubborn slave. He reached out and touched his hand against the sleeping man's forehead and realized John was running a fever. He knew the wounds were probably harboring some infection and gently cleaned them before spraying them with the antibiotics formulated in his private labs.

"I hope you don't make a habit of this, John," Hawk whispered and eased the blanket up over the man's waist. "I would hate to have to mark your body permanently."

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Drakar watched the house, relieved when Kierra and Bendor lead their guests away from the house. He knew they were headed toward the scenic peaks because they carried several containers that were used to keep food cold and a basket that held several blankets. He waited until they were far enough away that his presence would not be detected before racing toward the hut at the back of the house. He hoped the body was being kept there because it was the only place that would be cold enough to keep it from decaying even further. If all went well he should be able to set the incinerating device and be back at Domitar's home before it activated.

Drakar checked the door, but found it padlocked so he made his way around the back and checked the window. It too, was locked, but the merchant didn't let that stop him. He grabbed a rock and broke the window, disengaging the lock before opening it and climbing inside. There was nothing that could hide the smell of the decaying body and he quickly set up the incendiary device and turned back to the broken window.

Drakar was able to lift his upper body out the window, but was unprepared for the devastating blow that sent him sprawling back onto the floor. He landed against the dead man and heard a hiss as if air was escaping and the smell threatened to empty his stomach. He managed to get to his knees, but his assailant stood over him and struck him a second time with the blunt end of an axe. Drakar went down hard and lay still, watching through slitted eyes as his attacker reset the device and exited through the window.

Drakar's vision blurred, but the sound of the countdown made him move in spite of the pounding in his skull. He staggered to the window as the sound increased and threw himself outside and managed to crawl away from the building just as fire erupted inside and the stench of burning flesh reached his nostrils. He felt the darkness closing in and there was no doubt in his mind who was behind the attack.

Domitar must have arranged for his death at Shazzia's insistence, there was no one else who knew that he was going to destroy the evidence in Suduko's home. He knew someone would return and prayed he could stay awake long enough to warn Suduko and John Sheppard's friends. Time passed slowly, but before long he heard the sound of a small craft and opened his eyes when a hand touched his chest.

"What have you done, you bastard?" Suduko snarled and pulled the injured man to his feet.

"Please…Suduko…I am so sor…ry…"

"Sorry doesn't cut it, Drakar…you destroyed the body of my guest's friend and will pay with your life…"

"Dy…dying anyway…need to tell…tell you…Shazzia ordered the body…told…told me…make you be…lieve it was John Shep…Sheppard."

"Where is he?" Ronan asked, grabbing Drakar and lifting him off his feet.

"Sold…Shazzia sold him…not sure owner's name…talk…talk to Domitar…he knows…" Drakar said, eyes darkening as he succumbed to the coldness seeping through his body. "I hope…hope you find…find him and make…make her pay."

Ronan felt the man go limp and screamed in frustration as he let the body drop to the ground. He knew Drakar was dead, and fought the urge to tear him apart. A hand landed on his arm and he turned, nostrils flaring as Suduko smiled at him. "What?"

"At least we know John Shepard is still alive and it is time to keep tabs on Domitar's dealings with Shazzia," Suduko said and saw a hint of a smile form on the Setedan's face. "Now, why don't we put out the fire and get rid of this piece of trash before we join Kierra, Bendor, and your friends and give them the good news?"

"Sheppard's really alive," Ronan said, relief washing over him as he lifted the dead body and followed Suduko toward the small shed.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

John could feel the cooling mist that hit his wounds, but did not open his eyes as Hawk spoke softly. He waited for the sound of retreating footsteps before opening his eyes and trying to find a comfortable position. The wounds made it hard to move, but he chose to ignore it in an effort to sit up and look around. He felt chilled and fought the tremors running through his body, and pulled the blanket up over his shoulders.

He looked at the glass on the bedside table and reached for it, praying it was water even as he downed the liquid. It was sweet, with just a hint of tartness that helped quench his thirst. He sat for several seconds and reached for the chain attached to the collar around his neck, pulling it in an effort to test it. He released his hold and ran the fingers of his right hand through his hair just as Hawk returned.

"Good, you're awake. I was beginning to believe I'd have to resort to tube feeding," the big man told him and placed the tray on the table.

"How long was I asleep?" John asked, his stomach rumbling as the aroma of whatever was in the bowl made him smile appreciatively.

"Nearly twenty seven hours," Hawk answered. "Go ahead and eat…it's a special blend of vegetables and meat designed to give you back your strength and help in the healing of your wounds."

"Where's Tyrel?"

"Tyrel is doing very well and has been rewarded for his victory in the cage."

"Rewarded?" John asked.

"Yes, he has been given the finest quarters a slave could have and has the freedom to order anything he desires…"

"Except his freedom," John snapped.

"Freedom is not everything it's cracked up to be," Hawk told him, handing the bowl to the other man.

"It is when it's taken away," John spat.

"How do you know you were a free man, John, when you have no memory of your life before becoming Shazzia's pet?"

"I know this is not what I was meant to be doing?"

"Then tell me what you think you should be doing," Hawk ordered.

"Flying…a Gateship…no, that's not right…a Puddle Jumper," John said with a ghost of a smile.

"I don't think I've heard of a Gateship or a Puddle Jumper…where did you fly those?"

"Earth," John said, frowning as a flash of images swam before his eyes. He knew that wasn't right, but he couldn't quite grasp what the other images were from.

"I have never heard of Earth. Is it a planet?"

"I don't know," John said and sipped at the thick soupy substance. It tasted as good as it smelled and he finished it under the watchful eye of his self-proclaimed owner. He placed the bowl on the table and lay back, closing his eyes as the pounding in his skull intensified.

"John…"

"I'm tired, Hawk…head hurts like a bitch," John said and hoped the man would leave him alone as he tried to sort out the images waging war in his mind. He reached for the image of the one man who seemed to be able to ease his torment and hoped it would follow him to his dreams.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Remember, Never to Forget--2

Remember, Never to Forget--14

Rodney McKay stood near the precipice staring down into the open valley awed by the splendor and beauty of the scenic peaks. They'd walked most of the way, but taken the lift the final five hundred feet because it was too steep and treacherous to make climbing an option. Kierra and Bendor had taken Teyla and Major Lorne along a narrow trail that led deeper into the woods, but he'd bowed out in order to spend some time alone and enjoy the solitude of the mountains.

Rodney looked at the heavy growth of trees and felt a sense of homesickness because the most abundant species reminded him of the Maple Trees that grew all across Canada. When most kids his age were climbing trees and building makeshift tree houses, McKay was busy designing them and making sure they were structurally sound. It never occurred to him that his peers found more enjoyment in actually building ramshackle structures instead of thinking through the schematics he showed them on his laptop. He'd been a loner from an early age, but that had changed because of the offered friendship from Colonel John Sheppard.

Rodney heard the sound of a small craft and looked up; recognizing the markings that belonged to Suduko and hoped they had some good news for a change. He watched as the craft hovered for several seconds before making a perfect landing thirty meters from where he stood. The doors slid up and away from the vessel allowing Ronan and Suduko to exit and move toward him.

"Rodney, where are Teyla and Lorne?" Ronan asked.

"Kierra and Bendor took them hiking," McKay answered. "Did you find out anything from Domitar?"

"Not much from the old man, but there as been a new development," Suduko answered as Ronan grinned at the scientist.

"We now know Sheppard is alive…"

"I thought we already knew that," McKay said impatiently.

"We did, but Drakar tried to destroy the body and wound up getting himself killed, but not before he told us Shazzia definitely had John Sheppard," Suduko explained.

"Had?" McKay asked softly.

"She sold him to someone else," Ronan offered.

"Dammit!" the Canadian cursed.

"Easy, McKay, Suduko has people watching Domitar's place and they'll contact him if Shazzia shows up," the Setedan explained.

"What good does that do us?" Rodney asked angrily.

"We'll be able to ask questions…perhaps find out who she sold him to," Suduko answered.

"Sheppard would hate being a slave," the scientist said, looking out over the valley as images of his friend flashed through his mind. John Sheppard was a man of many faces, of many emotions and Rodney knew he would loathe being a slave to anyone. Somehow, when they found him, Rodney would make up for leaving him to this fate.

"McKay, what happened wasn't your fault…"

"Then whose was it, Ronan? I hit that damned button and sent him to…to hell!" McKay spat.

"You were following his orders," Ronan observed. "You did what any of us would have done when faced with a difficult choice. Sheppard ordered you to blow it and just maybe that's what saved his life."

"Ronan is right, Dr. McKay. If you hadn't followed his orders then Shazzia's creatures would have torn your friend to pieces. By destroying the ship you forced her to make a decision and I'm sure Sheppard was beamed out with the rest of her slavers and that's why he is alive," Suduko explained.

"Then how do we find him now?" McKay asked.

"We watch and wait for Shazzia to make a mistake. I am sure she has realized her 'slave' was an important military officer…"

"Is…is an important military officer," McKay corrected. "Sheppard is alive and he still has his place on Atlantis…the city needs him…we need him…I need him."

"Ronan…Suduko, how did it go?" Teyla asked as they joined the trio. She listened as Ronan relayed exactly what had happened and she sighed heavily at the thought of John Sheppard being sold to another person. Slavery was a vile business and yet it seemed to happen on most of the planets they visited.

"We need to get word back to Atlantis," McKay told them. "Suduko is there any way we can contact Atlantis from here or at least someplace I can boost a signal?"

"Perhaps…my ship is equipped with a long range transmitter, but you would have to boost it if you wish to send a transmission to your world," Suduko explained.

"Rodney can do it," Teyla said with a slight smile.

"All right…let's help Kierra and Bendor pack things up and we'll head back to my place. I think I have whatever equipment Dr. McKay might need," the big man told them. They moved to the area were Kierra had set up the picnic and quickly packed everything in the baskets before heading for Suduko's small craft.

McKay took one last look at the valley and knew this was something he wanted John Sheppard to see. Once they found the colonel Rodney vowed he would bring him here and help him heal from whatever ordeal he'd endured…or still endured. _'Just hold on, Sheppard, we're coming for you,'_ McKay whispered before hurriedly climbing into the cramped craft.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

'_We're coming for you…we're coming for you…_' John heard the words and slowly opened his eyes, hoping and praying the soft voice, so filled with worry would follow him out of his dreams. Unfortunately reality and dreams were not the same thing as he shifted and reawakened the pain in his back. He tried to breathe through it, but nothing eased the tremors that tore through his body as he fought to sit up.

John was finally able to breathe normally as he sat on the edge of the bed and placed his hands on his face before looking around. He knew Hawk was nearby, but for the moment he was alone. Sheppard looked toward the mirror hanging on the opposite wall and frowned when he saw the bruises and marks made by his 'owner'.

Sheppard wondered what his life had been like before Shazzia had taken him, but his mind seemed to be a blank sheet of paper since he'd awakened in her quarters. His hand touched a crescent shaped scar on his shoulder and he remembered the unbearable pain upon first returning to consciousness. It was like nothing he'd ever felt before and John knew if he could just remember how he'd gotten the scar the rest of his memory would return with it.

There were bits and pieces that seemed to fit together, but like any puzzle it was hard to make sense when so many pieces were missing. Two names continued to haunt him…Rodney and Carson…he attributed both to a feeling of safety, but did not understand why this was so. There were no faces to go with the names, but there were times when he swore he could hear voices…bickering as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

John closed his eyes and took a deep breath before reaching up and touching the collar that encircled his neck. It marked him as Hawk's property, but John vowed he belonged to no one. He hated it and tried to hook his fingers beneath it, but there wasn't enough room for that and he silently cursed the hated object.

"John," Hawk called from the open doorway. He'd been watching his 'slave' for several minutes and was not surprised when the man tried to remove the collar. He'd seen John flinch when he realized he was no longer alone and was glad he'd decided to mark him permanently. It would show everyone who John belonged to and ensure his return should he escape or be stolen.

"Go away," John whispered, angry at being caught unawares.

"This is my room, John. I allowed you to sleep in my bed, but when we return to my home you will find the sleeping arrangements have changed. The storms have ended and we will be leaving as soon as the clouds have cleared and it is safe to travel. There is something that must be done before we leave. I have arranged for everyone to meet us at the cages…"

"Why?" John asked, anger evident in the set of his shoulders.

"You will be marked during the Shobanna Ritual," Hawk answered.

"Shobanna Ritual?"

"That is correct. I have spoken with several of my colleagues and we have chosen one amongst each of our slaves to wear the mark of our camp. You will be marked here," Hawk said and pointed to an area on the right side of John's chest.

"Marked?" John couldn't help asking as a smile formed on Hawk's face.

"It will be painful, but I'm afraid it is necessary because we value our property. It is only done to the most valued slaves so you should feel honored…"

"Feel honored about being marked? I don't think so," John snapped.

"We shall see, John," Hawk said and reached for the clothing he'd placed next to the bed. "Get dressed or do you want to go to the Shobanna Ritual as you are?"

John didn't say a word as he reached for the soft fabric that marked him as Hawk's slave. The shirt was sleeveless and ties at the waist while the simple pants were ankle length and had a drawstring to hold them up. John quickly dinned the hated clothing and reached for the sandals he'd left beside the bed.

"Very good, John…you are learning fast," Hawk told him and attached the leash to the collar before leading his reluctant slave from his quarters. It didn't take long to reach the cages and John was forced to his knees on a raised stage. He smiled at the Goliaden kneeling next to him before speaking. "Are you okay, Tyrel?"

"Silence, John, or you will be gagged during the ritual," Hawk warned. There were a total of ten slaves, including John and Tyrel to be marked. The fire burned with a fierce heat as the lames flickered between bright red and orange, casting shadows against the walls as a robed figure appeared from the darkest corner of the caged area.

John felt Tyrel tremble and tried to instill a sense of calm on the young Goliaden, but his eyes were drawn to something held in the newcomer's hands. He'd seen them before, but only in the old westerns he'd watched with his brother when they were kids. He shivered at the thought of what Hawk was about to do and turned to find the big man smiling at him.

"I take it you have seen this before, John," Hawk said and reached for the long metal rod with his markings on one end. He placed it in the hottest part of the flames as several other slavers did the same thing. It wouldn't take long for the markings to heat up to the proper temperature and when it did he would have the honor of being the first to mark his slaves during the Shobanna Ritual.

"Hawk," the robed figure spoke in a gasping voice as if his throat had been damaged at some point. "You have honored us by allowing Tyrel of Glione to take part in our games. He is a skilled fighter and has won each of his challenges and deserves to be revered as a champion. Do you wish to mark him yourself?"

"I do," Hawk replied.

"Very well…and what of the other slave? It is unusual to have two slaves marked at one gathering…is this one so special that you allow him to kneel with your champion?"

"John is a valuable slave and he was purchased with Tyrel…I believe they should be marked as fitting true warriors."

"Do you have plans to let John participate in future challenges?"

"Yes, I have, but he must be properly trained first…a challenge I will take up myself," Hawk assured him.

"Very well…Tyrel of Glione, do you agree to have John kneel with you?"

"Yes," Tyrel said, eyes downcast as the newcomer stood before him.

"Hawk, Tyrel is your champion and has agreed with your wishes. You may begin by marking Tyrel," the robed figure ordered.

John watched helplessly as Hawk lifted the branding iron from the flames and advanced on the young male kneeling next to him. He could feel Tyrel trembling, but there was nothing he could do as Hawk spoke to the Goliaden.

"Tyrel, with this mark you are my greatest fighter and will be given your rightful place of honor amongst my slaves," Hawk said and pressed the branding iron against the young man's right shoulder. He held it there for five seconds and smiled that his property made only the slightest sound as the stench of burnt flesh permeated the area. He turned and placed the iron back in the flames before reaching for the salve offered by the robed figure. "This will help ease the burn," Hawk explained and slathered the pungent cream over the reddened area.

John stared into the flames, barely registering the fact that Hawk now stood before him. He lifted his head, refusing to be kowtowed like Tyrel. He didn't know why it was important that he not bow down in front of these people, only that it was and he stared hard at his self proclaimed owner as the man reached for the branding iron.

"Will you be as strong as Tyrel, John?" Hawk asked softly, angry and proud that his 'slave' was so stubborn and would not lower his gaze even after the stern warning. John would be punished for the insolence, but it would be done in the privacy of Hawk's home and away from prying eyes. He wanted John to know who was in charge, but he didn't want to break his willful spirit.

John refused to answer and held his head high as Hawk brought the red hot iron close to his shoulder. He could feel his skin burning, but at the last minute his 'owner' moved the iron and brought it down on John's chest. The fiery pain sent shockwaves through him, but John never made a sound as the mark was made above his left nipple. When Hawk pulled the iron away, John glanced at the markings that he'd seen in Hawk's quarters. It looked like two crossed swords held between the claws of a hawk, one that looked ominously like the birds he'd seen on wilderness trips as a boy.

"Hawk, you have two slaves that could bring you many Shoclaws…"

"I don't need Shoclaws, My Friend," Hawk interrupted the robed figure and placed the iron in a bucket of cold water before applying the salve to John's burned flesh. "I could not put a value on either Tyrel or John."

"You are indeed a wealthy man, Hawk we look forward to seeing both your warriors in the future," the robed figure said.

Whatever was in the salve had taken the burn from the raw wound and John was forced to watch as other slavers placed their marks on their property before the Shobanna Ritual finally came to an end. Hawk ordered both him and Tyrel to stand and reached for John's leash before leading them away from the caged area.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Elizabeth Weir looked up as a soft knock sounded on her door. She motioned Carson Beckett inside and waited for him to report on the four members of the scientific team that had contracted some kind of virus while exploring an area in the southern most section of the base. "Well, Carson, have you found the culprit?"

"I believe we have and it's a simple matter of inoculating everyone with a trace of the enzyme I found in Dr. Malcolm's blood stream. We're synthesizing the enzyme in large quantities and will keep a small supply on hand should we need it again," Beckett explained.

"So Malcolm's team are okay?"

"They will be given a few days rest," the physician answered. "Has there been any word from Major Lorne?"

"Nothing…"

"Dr. Weir, we're being haled from PG-2743…it's Dr. McKay's IDC," Grodin said and waited for the two people to join him in communications.

Elizabeth and Carson hurried to stand behind Grodin as he nodded that communications were open.

"Rodney, it's Elizabeth…are you guys okay?"

"We're fine, Elizabeth, but I need to make this quick before we run out of power. We've found evidence that Sheppard is alive…"

"Thank God," Beckett said softly and knew the others were thinking the same thing.

"Already did...look, we think he was taken by a female slaver known as Shazzia…"

"Do you know where she took him?" Weir asked.

"Not yet…but we know she no longer has him. We have an ally here named Suduko who was once a slave and he's helping us, Elizabeth. He has contacts that help him…"

"Do you trust him?" Weir asked worriedly.

"I do…we all do. Look I'm losing power and wanted you to know that we're going to find Sheppard and bring him home…McKay out."

"Well, at least we know he's alive," Beckett offered as he watched Weir's face. He knew she was worried, not just about Colonel John Sheppard, but about McKay, Ronan, Teyla, and Lorne.

"But what kind of shape is he in, Carson?" Weir asked, making her way toward her office with the physician following close behind.

"We'll deal with that when they bring him home," Beckett vowed, mentally running through the many times he'd treated the colonel since arriving in Atlantis.

"I know we will," Weir agreed as she sat behind her desk and looked at the picture of the Atlantis expedition team members and sighed tiredly. There were at least a dozen members who'd lost their life, forcing her or John Sheppard to write letters to their family and she prayed she could rescind the letter that was sent to the colonel's family.

"I'll let you know when we can begin inoculating everyone," Beckett said before leaving the woman to her thoughts.

"That's fine, Carson," Weir said and tried to concentrate on the paperwork before her, but her mind kept wandering and she finally gave up. She retreated to the high tower and stood looking out over the ocean, listening to the soft lap of the waves against the lower levels and hoping she would have the chance to share this experience with John Sheppard again.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Remember, Never to Forget--2

Remember, Never to Forget--15

John watched as Hawk piloted the ship, skimming it over the treetops in an impressive display of skill. The man's powerful hands seemed to fly over the console, making John wish he could take control. He closed his eyes and felt the familiar sensation that often plagued him since waking up in Shazzia's palace. The freedom of flight, yet he could not remember if or when he'd ever piloted a ship.

"Would you like to try, John?"

"I don't know how."

"You have the Ancient Gene and this ship originated in Atlantis. Perhaps it will come naturally to you and if I'm wrong then I can simply take control and fly it manually as I am doing now," Hawk offered and saw a hint of hope in his 'slave's' eyes.

John turned his head slightly and took a deep breath as he placed his hands above the console, shocked when the lights changed from light green to dark green and several new items appeared on the view screen. He thought Hawk made a comment, but he didn't hear the words clearly as he piloted the ship using his hands and mind in a singular connection. His eyes watched the changing numbers, but he had no idea whether he was doing this right. John glanced sideways at Hawk and was shocked to see open admiration on his face.

"It appears that Kudrone was correct in his comments about you and the Atlantian Gene. That makes you worth far more than I first believed and it makes me wonder why Shazzia parted with you in the first place," Hawk told him.

"I don't…don't know," John said and continued to maneuver the craft with ease.

"Perhaps we shall see what other devices are in my storage facilities and see if you can activate them."

"And if I refuse?"

"You will be punished," Hawk answered easily but smiled when he returned his attention to John's hands. "Somehow I doubt you'll be able to stop yourself, John, because you seem to be a natural with this."

John could feel Hawk's eyes on him and knew the man was right. Flying a ship, even one he was unfamiliar with left him with a feeling of accomplishment. He loved the power at his fingertips and made the craft move at an incredible speed that should have left him dizzy. "Inertial Dampeners…"

"What was that, John?"

"Huh?"

"You said something about dampeners…what are they?"

"I'm not sure…something that keeps us from being splattered all over the screen I think," John answered, disappointed when Hawk retook control.

"I think you've shown me enough for now, John," Hawk told him, using his fingers to manipulate the controls even as he turned toward the man seated beside him. "You do realize that if you try anything with this ship or anything else I show you I will simply hunt you down and punish you beyond anything you've ever imagined possible. I am not a man to be crossed."

John closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat. He shifted slightly and winced when the rough material pulled at the wounds to his back. Hawk had cleaned the wound and given him a shot that took care of the pain, but that had been hours ago before they'd left the underground chambers. He could feel Hawk watching him, and refused to allow his discomfort to show, but he soon felt the change in the craft that told him they were landing. An idea formulated, one he knew would get him the punishment Hawk promised, but John did not like being a 'slave' and that meant he would fight for his freedom, and damn the consequences.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

High Priestess Shazzia knew she'd made a mistake in selling the slave known only as John, but she swore she would get him back no matter what the cost. Her guests were the Genii and several other parties who'd shown great interest in obtaining her former 'slave'. It would mean new alliances and stronger military contacts and that meant she would have free rein to take more slaves from the outlying colonies.

"Shazzia, when will you be able to deliver the slave?" Commander Deakon Preut asked impatiently.

"Commander, I do not answer to you or anyone else. If and when I am ready to part with John I will contact all of you and give you the opportunity to make me an offer…"

"Something tells me you don't have him anymore," the Genii commander said and watched the woman's face closely.

"You would be wise to watch your tongue, Deakon…I have had men killed for less," Shazzia warned. She knew it was dangerous to have her would be allies here, but she wanted to know how far they were willing to go to get their hands on Colonel John Sheppard. It looked as if they were all had more than a passing interest.

"I have heard that before, Shazzia, but you should remember you need us more than we need you. The Genii and the Croanthians are amongst the strongest military organizations in the Pegasus Galaxy and as such we have more to offer you than you have to offer us," Preut said with a hint of a smile.

"There are others who would ally themselves with me for a prize such as the one I am offering," Shazzia told him, anger evident in her words.

"Then perhaps it is time you contacted them…I am sure they would join with you sight unseen, but are they the ones you want fighting at your side? I don't think so or they would also be represented here," Preut said, the smile broadening when he saw the truth in her eyes.

"Shazzia, as the leader of the Croanthian military I am also interested in seeing this slave you speak so highly of," R'bork said. He knew the Genii were stronger, but they'd been allies for several cycles now and it was this allegiance that had saved his world on several occasions.

"You see, Shazzia, we are all interested, but until you show us that he is indeed in your custody, we will have our doubts," Preut explained.

"John is off world now, but I will have him back before long…"

"Then contact us when he is here and we will gladly return," Preut said, standing and leaving the room without a backward glance as the other military commanders followed him out.

Shazzia's eyes burned with anger as she watched the others follow the Genii out of the spacious chamber. She had not given them permission to leave and viewed this as an insult, one that she would repay many times over once she sent word to her long time allies. They were a warrior race, far stronger than the Genii and quite capable of destroying worlds without remorse. She reached for the bottle of Denubian Wine and pulled the cork from it before drinking half the bottle and wiping her lips. She would make Preut and the others kneel before her when the time came, but she would not offer them Colonel John Sheppard no matter what they promised in return. They'd insulted and disgraced her and for that they would be enemies for a lifetime.

"High Priestess," Bekha said and bowed slightly as he waited for permission to speak. He knew her guests were gone and could tell things had not gone well because his mistress rarely hit the bottle like she was doing now.

"What is it, Bekha?" Shazzia snapped.

"We received word that the solar storms over Hawk's world are over and that he has returned to his fortress," Bekha explained.

"Good…we need to see Hawk," Shazzia told him.

"Hawk won't see anyone without an appointment," Bekha said.

"I know, but perhaps if we made it interesting he would make an exception."

"Interesting…how?"

"There are men staying with Suduko and I believe either one of them would capture Hawk's interest. I want you to take a small contingent and kidnap one of them."

"Which one?"

"I don't give a damn which one…just get him and bring him here!" Shazzia snapped.

"There is a female with them," Bekha told her.

"A female?"

"Yes…Teyla Emmagan and she is an Athosian," Bekha answered.

"She is of no interest to me. Bring me one of the Male Atlantians," Shazzia ordered.

"Yes, High Priestess," Bekha said, bowing before he left her alone.

A thin smile formed on Shazzia's face as she thought about the man known to her as John. She was certain he was indeed Colonel John Sheppard, but she no longer wanted to trade him to the Genii or anyone else for that matter. It appeared that John could be an asset if she kept him at her side, perhaps he could even gain her a new alliance with the people who now inhabited Atlantis. Reaching for the bottle of Denubian wine she dropped onto the lounge and wondered if perhaps fate was perhaps a new ally and would bring her 'slave' back to her.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

The darkness was absolute when Rodney stepped out through the door and cast his eyes skyward. As he watched the obsidian depths he began to distinguish the twinkling lights that peaked out from behind the clouds. He loved this time of night, when the stars were slowly dimming and dawn began to shimmer on the horizon.

McKay sighed tiredly and rubbed at the back of his neck in an effort to loosen the tense muscles that had become more than a little uncomfortable. It felt like ages since he'd actually slept for more than a couple of hours and he knew it would be a long time before that changed. The scientist in him knew he couldn't keep this up, but the friend in him vowed to keep going until he found John Sheppard.

McKay turned to find Suduko sitting on the top step, watching his every move. The big man had an uncanny ability to be present without anyone even knowing he was there. "Sorry, I didn't think anyone else was awake."

"I'm a light sleeper, Dr. McKay," Suduko said and handed the Canadian a cup of dark liquid that smelled like a cross between coffee and a sweet mint liquor.

"Thank you," McKay said, sipping the hot drink appreciatively.

"You're welcome…so what has you awake so early?"

"Couldn't sleep," the scientist answered simply.

"This man…John Sheppard must be special to have so many people worry about him," Suduko observed.

"He's a friend, Suduko…one of the best I've ever had and he…he…"

"Understands you?"

"Yes…he's the only one who does," McKay answered softly.

"Are you sure about that, Dr. McKay?" Suduko asked. "I have seen you with your friends and I believe they know you better than you know yourself. Even I can see beneath that 'brilliant mind' scenario. You think people won't like you because you're smarter than they are, yet they look to you for the knowledge they know you have. Don't sell your friends short…they deserve better and so do you."

"I don't…" McKay said, letting the guilt of 'John's' death wash over him. He knew no one else blamed him for what happened, but he blamed himself and sometimes that was the guilt that ate away at a man.

"I would find it easier to believe you if you could look me in the eyes when you speak," Suduko told him.

"Sometimes I wonder if what we're doing really makes a difference…people like John Sheppard are few and far between. They're the ones who make a difference. People look to them for help," the Canadian told him.

"The same could be said of you, Dr. McKay…I've seen how the others look at you and I know they expect you to find the answers and so far I don't think you've let them down so don't start now when your friend needs you," Suduko said and watched the other man's face. He'd always had the ability to read others and there were plenty of emotions and nuances to Rodney McKay. There was no doubt in his mind that the scientist would be a good man to have at your side in a fight, whether it be for his intelligence or his ability to handle himself during a power struggle.

"I'm trying, Suduko, but there comes a time when a man has to look at himself and find out if there's anything worthwhile about him," McKay said.

"I repeat…don't sell your friends short…they know you and chose to stick with you." Suduko sipped at the hot drink and hoped his words got through to his guest. McKay was holding a ship load of guilt and until Sheppard was found he would continue to do so. He hoped the missing man was worthy of McKay's friendship and wondered if he'd ever get the chance to find out.

"Thank you, Suduko," McKay said and returned his attention to the brightening sky, wondering what John Sheppard was doing right now.

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

Remember, Never to Forget--16

Hawk sensed the change in his 'slave' and wondered what John was thinking. Whatever it was, he knew he would not like it, and wanted to stop the man before he put his plan in motion. He landed the craft and turned away from the console, amazed that John could keep his face neutral in spite of his position. "What are you thinking, John?"

"None of your business!" John snapped impatiently.

"That's where you're wrong, John, everything about you is my business. I own you remember…"

"I told you before…nobody owns me!" John turning a scathing look at the larger man, angered by the somewhat amused look on his face.

"I believe I've already proven that I do in fact own you…you wear my mark in several ways…"

"Not by choice, Hawk…I still have the freedom to think on my own and that's something no one can take away from me!"

"Are you thinking about escape, John?"

"No," John lied easily.

"You're lying…you are so easy to read…"

"You're deluding yourself if you think you know me that well," John told him.

"Is that so? All right, John, here's your chance to escape," Hawn said and released the restraints holding the man in his chair. He placed his weapon on the console, stood up and walked to the panel on the wall that gave him access to the controls of his ship. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see John's face in the dark screen and smiled at the expressions warring for dominance. John's hand snaked closer to the weapon, but his fingers didn't touch it.

**SGASGASGASGASGA**

John's mind was a jumble of thoughts as he stared at the weapon and inched his fingers toward it. He resisted the urge to grab it and simply turn and fire because something inside him reminded him it was the oldest trick in the book. The problem was that didn't make any sense to him because there was no memory of any book that could provide this type of scenario.

John took a deep breath and closed his eyes, relaxing as a hauntingly familiar voice flooded his mind with images that were both frightening and serene. He tried to grasp the memories, but they seemed to stay just out of his reach and his anger intensified. His eyes shot open and he grabbed for the weapon without thinking about the consequences. He turned and fired, cursing when there was no flash of light, just the whirring sound of an empty chamber.

"Did you really think I'd give you a loaded weapon, John?" Hawk asked with a bemused smile.

"You bastard!" John spat as something inside him snapped. He rushed forward, lifting the weapon like a club and struck Hawk across the forehead. He didn't stop there and continued to hit the other man until he dropped to his knees. He didn't stop there because he knew his life depended on him keeping the upper hand. He struck the man on the right cheek and saw blood spurt from an open gash, but he'd seen blood before and would not let that deter him from his mission.

John didn't stop until the larger man was down, lying prone on the floor and bleeding from several places on his face. He dropped the weapon and looked around, wide eyed and out of breath. He knew he didn't have long before alarms were sounded, but he had to get Hawk off the ship before he made god his escape. John moved to the panel and hit several buttons until the door slid open. He looked out, relieved to see the hanger bay was empty.

John returned to the unconscious man and began pushing him toward the opening. He knew he didn't have much time and pulling Hawk would be impossible considering his own weakened state. It seemed to take forever until he had Hawk at the door and began maneuvering him until he could push his enemy through the opening. There would be a drop of close to six feet, but John didn't care if Hawk was hurt in the fall…he just needed to be free…needed to escape this life and find his way home.

Home…now there was a word he could cling to and it gave him the strength he needed to push Hawk out of the craft. He quickly turned his attention to the access panel and hit the same sequence of buttons until the door closed. Breathing a sigh of relief, John returned to the console and sat in the pilot's chair. He lifted his right hand, closed his eyes and hoped his instincts were intact. This felt so right and he watched as the lights on the console came to life at his touch.

**SGASGASGASGASGA**

Bekha knew his plan was dangerous, but he'd handpicked his men carefully and knew they understood what they were to do. They were watching Suduko's home, waiting for an opportunity to grab one of his guests for Shazzia. Several times the woman had exited the house and stood looking around, but Shazzia had specifically told him she wanted one of the males.

"She would get the High Priestess a fair amount of Shoclaws," Denhere offered from his right.

"Yes, she would, but the High Priestess is not interested in her. Her orders are specific, Denhere…we are to grab one of the males," Bekha told him.

"Couldn't we take her for ourselves…it has been a long time since I've been in the company of a creature so beautiful?"

"Perhaps another time," Bekha said. "I don't want to risk the High Priestess' anger. Remember what she did to Packel when he displeased her?"

"I do…perhaps I spoke to soon," Denhere said.

"Yes, you did, but it will remain between us. Keep your eyes and ears open…Suduko is no fool and will be on the alert if he senses danger."

"She is rather beautiful isn't she?"

"Yes…you can think about her while you sleep and perhaps those dreams will give you some satisfaction," Bekha said, grinning at the lewd face of his friend. He returned his attention to the house as Suduko and two men joined the woman. They spoke for several minutes before making their way toward Suduko's craft.

"We should stop them from leaving if we are to take one of them," Denhere said softly.

"No…there's one more. It looks like he is staying behind and with Suduko out of the way it will be much easier to take him. Don't do anything without my signal," Bekha warned, watching the house for signs of the last man.

**SGASGASGASGASGA**

The craft reacted to him much the same way as the Puddle Jumpers…Puddle Jumpers? John frowned at the familiar name, but for the life of him he couldn't remember what they were or if they were real. "Just get moving, John!"

The craft seemed to be powering up, and John breathed a sigh of relief, but it was short lived as the lights on the console diminished and everything went black. "No…no…no…" it became a mantra as he tried to reactivate the console, but nothing happened. The darkness remained until he heard the soft whoosh signaling that the door was opening. The excitement of escape disappeared with the hope that had been building as he turned to see the bloodied figure standing in the doorway.

"You will be punished, John!"

"Go to hell!" John snarled as he tried to rework the systems, but nothing seemed to work.

"Did you honestly think it would be that easy?" Hawk asked, eyes dangerously dark as he stared at his 'slave'. "Come with me, John!"

"No!" John spat, hitting his fists on the darkened console.

"Do not make it worse than it already is, John," Hawk warned and stepped further inside.

"Stay away from me!"

"You do not give orders here and it is time you learned that!" Hawk reached out and touched the back of John's neck, using just enough pressure to force John out of the chair. He smiled at the way his 'slave' fought him, but grew weary of the man's continued insolence and anger. It was time to prove to John that he belonged to him and could do whatever he felt like to him. "I will make you bend that stiff neck of yours and if you continue to fight me it just might snap…"

"Better to be dead than a slave!" John said, gasping for air as Hawk continued to put pressure on his neck. He began to lose feeling in his extremities and his lungs burned with the need for oxygen.

"Death is not an option for you, John," Hawk said keeping just enough pressure to make sure John lingered close to unconsciousness. He turned the man to face him, smiling as he saw the eyes so full of rage. "You are a stubborn man, John, but that will not help you here. You will be punished as soon as I off load the others and make sure they are secured. You will accompany me until I have finished, but be warned, punishment will be harder if you continue to fight me."

John felt the man release him and dropped to his hands and knees, sucking in lungful after lungful of air before being pulled to his feet. His hands were pulled behind him and metal bands were wrapped around his wrists. A thin, three foot metal pole was produced by Hawk and John stared at the sharp tips. He stared into his enemies eyes, gasping as the tip was pressed against the flesh of his right forearm.

"This will be uncomfortable, but it is necessary to let others know I will not allow my property to take liberties they have not earned," Hawk warned and pushed the metal rod through John's skin.

John tried not to cry out as the rod pierced his flesh and was slowly driven through his arm. He tried to pull away, but whatever Hawk had done to him left him without the strength to fight. He could feel the man's large hands on his inner arms as the metal implement was pushed all the way through and he felt the tip pressing up against the inner part of his left arm. He felt the darkness creeping along the edge of his vision, but did not black out as he felt blood dripping from his arms.

John breathed through his nose as he gritted his teeth and waited for this to end, but it wasn't to be that easy as Hawk grabbed both his arms and forced them together. He felt something wrapped around his elbows, making it impossible to move without causing damage to his arms.

"Now, John, this should teach you not to fight me because believe me this is only minor compared to some of the things I can and will do should you continue to fight me!" Hawk warned and pulled the gasping man to his feet. "If you pull too hard you will succeed in tearing the flesh of your forearms and will need surgery to repair the damage. I have no wish to put you through this, but you give me no choice!"

John breathed through the nauseating pain as Hawk pushed him toward the open doorway. It was awkward and he was forced to turn sideways in order to step out onto the ramp and walk unsteadily down. There were others there to meet them and he could feel them watching him as Hawk hook a leather strap to the collar around his neck. He stood where he was as the other slaves and cargo were offloaded and was soon marched through Hawk's compound. The others were locked in their quarters before Hawk led him toward his private rooms. Once inside he was propelled through the door and over to the bed. A blanket was spread out at the foot of the bed and Hawk forced him to sit down before securing his wrists to metal loops at the base of the bed.

"This is where you will sleep, John," Hawk said and tossed a blanket over him before leaving the room.

John shifted slightly, crying out as the movement pulled against the metal rod and sent shockwaves of pain through his body. He closed his eyes and sank toward sleep even as he heard Hawk coming back into the room. He knew there was nothing he could do for now and allowed the darkness to claim him.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Kierra watched as the lone man strode across the yard toward the tree line that covered the outer portion of her brother's property. She felt sorry for him, and wished there was some way to ease the guilt that marred his features. Suduko was a good man and would do everything in his power to help them find their missing friend. She thought about the days when he'd been missing and how hard it was to deal with her own loss, but he'd escaped Shazzia's clutches and risen above her abuse. He now carried as much weight as the high priestess, probably more when you considered his allies were friends and very loyal. Shazzia had bought her allies and more often than not they did not have the same loyalty as the ones who'd earned their place amongst friends.

Kierra turned to find her husband watching her and smiled before closing the door and allowing him to wrap her in his arms.

"You are worried?"

"A little, Bendor," Kierra answered. "I hope Suduko is able to do this without suffering as he did while a slave to Shazzia."

"Your brother is stronger than ever, Kierra, he knows what he is up against and he will not allow himself to be trapped in her clutches again."

"I know…I just hate seeing him in danger."

"He will not allow Shazzia to trap him again…not when he has so many people who care about him," Bendor said.

"I guess…we should get started on the evening meal," Kierra told him and headed toward the kitchen, unaware of the danger her guest was in.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Rodney listened to the sounds from the surrounding forest and longed to hear the familiar lap of the ocean waves against Atlantis. He longed for the day when he could stand on the highest platform and watch John Sheppard hit golf balls into the water. He missed the quiet times when they shared stories, but most of all he missed the sniping that had become a routine where their friendship was concerned.

Suduko, Ronan, Teyla, and Lorne had gone to meet with several people who might be able to shed some light on John's whereabouts, but he'd bowed out because of another sleepless night. He knew he could not sit idly by while Suduko spoke with his friends and thought it would be in their best interests if he stayed here and waited for their return.

A sound to his left made McKay jump and he turned to see a small animal moving in the underbrush. It looked like small deer, much like the ones he'd seen as a child, and his curiosity got the better of him. He pushed aside the brush and walked into the cooler shadows created by the trees. He spotted the small creature in a clearing with two others and smiled as he watched them bound away. Taking a deep breath of the cooler air, Rodney turned back the way he'd come, but felt something strike him in the right shoulder. He had time to wonder whether there were large insects on this planet and reached over his shoulder as his vision blurred.

Rodney dropped to his knees as the sound of footsteps reached his ears, and cursed himself for being so stupid. He felt consciousness leaving him as someone picked him up and threw him over his shoulder_. 'Oh, God,'_ he thought as the blackness drew him down.

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

Remember, Never to Forget--2

Remember, Never to Forget--17

Suduko landed the craft in a clearing to the right of his friend's tavern and turned to his guests. "Let me do the talking at first… Trazdia is a good man, but he's suspicious of strangers. He was once part of Shazzia's slave guards, but he has since seen the light and we have mutually agreed that we need each other."

"Do you trust him?" Ronan asked.

"As much as I trust anyone," Suduko answered. "I have learned that trust is something we cannot afford to give 100 of the time…it makes us vulnerable to betrayal."

"You are a wise man, Suduko, but I believe trust is also something you give and receive from your friends when the time is right," Teyla told him.

"Teyla, you speak of things that I cannot deny, but it has never been easy for me to trust…not since my time with Shazzia," Suduko said and led them out of the craft. They entered the smoky tavern and stood watching the clients for several minutes before Suduko made his way to the long, dark colored counter where a large man with close set eyes stood with a towel in on hand.

"What brings you here, you miserable SOB?"

"It's not for your sunny disposition, Old Man!" Suduko said.

"I could gut you where you stand!"

"You'd lose your hand before it reached the weapon," Suduko said, planting his feet firmly on the ground as he stared at the other man.

"You always were full of crap, Suduko…"

"I'm not the only one," Suduko said and reached for the man's offered hand. He shook it gladly, feeling the strength hidden just below the surface.

"Who are they?" Trazdia asked of the others.

"They are the friends I told you about. Teyla Emmagan, Major Lorne, and Ronan…"

"Ronan…I have heard of you. You were a runner from Sateda?" Trazdia said and studied the big man. He knew of several runners, but none so well known as Ronan from Sateda. "Your story is well known amongst my people and it is an honor to meet one as distinguished as you."

Ronan reached out and took the man's hand, shaking it once before moving away. There was something about Trazdia he liked, but right now was not the time for making new friends, not while John Sheppard needed their help.

"Why did you come today, Suduko?" Trazdia asked seriously.

"I heard through several friends that you had information about Colonel John Sheppard," Suduko answered.

"Who is he?" Trazdia asked.

"A friend," Ronan answered softly.

"You should forget about him," Trazdia told him coldly.

"We can't do that," Lorne said. "Colonel Sheppard…"

"Belongs to a man who would and could kill you or anyone else who tries to take his property…"

"Hawk," Suduko said.

"That's right, my friend, and we both know Hawk's reputation. He's a mean bastard who enjoys watching his slaves fight for their lives and he's not above punishing them if they disobey."

"How do you know he has John?" Teyla asked.

"I have my sources," Trazdia told her. "Hawk has his own world and although he allows others to inhabit that world they go to him for permission to do anything. The world is beset by solar storms several times a cycle and during those times Hawk and the others go to ground until they end. They have a special underground chamber that is probably as big as or bigger than this retreat. It is there that the slaves are made to fight each other…most times to the death."

"We need to know the exact location of Hawk's home if we're going to mount any kind of rescue operation," Lorne said.

"You go in there and you'll wind up either dead or a slave again. Suduko, need I remind me you barely escaped with your life the last time?" Trazdia asked.

"I remember, Trazdia, and that's why I want to help these people find their friend," Suduko told him.

"Sheppard wouldn't leave us behind," Ronan said.

"Ronan is correct," Teyla agreed. "We would be grateful for whatever information you can give us."

"You can't seriously be considering an attack on Hawk's world?"

"They are, My Friend, and they just might be able to pull it off if you're willing to help us," Suduko said.

"You're serious about helping them in this foolhardy endeavor?"

"I am…Sheppard once belonged to Shazzia and she's…"

"Do you realize she is trying to get him back?"

"Shazzia wants Sheppard back?" Teyla asked worriedly.

"She has been speaking to Domitar and he in turn has spoken to several mutual friends. I have reason to believe she is going to attack Hawk's world and take Sheppard back. If I help you, Old Friend, you must remember that Domitar is a dangerous friend and even worse, he's a lethal enemy," Trazdia observed.

"I won't forget, but I am here asking for your help…"

"You know I'd do anything for you," Trazdia interrupted. "Have you spoken with the others?"

"No, I came to you first…hoping you would agree to speak for me…for my new friends and allies," Suduko said softly.

"I'll do what I can," Trazdia told him. "I'll speak with the others tonight and send word whether they've agreed to meet with you or not."

"That's all I ask…thanks," Suduko said and slapped the back of the other man's hand in a tribute of their unique friendship.

"Don't thank me yet…this could be a death sentence for both of us…or worse."

"I know, but it's time we took control of our lives and rid ourselves of the threat from people like Shazzia and Hawk," Suduko said and motioned for the others to follow him out.

"What do we do now?" Teyla asked.

"We return to my home and wait for Trazdia to send word from the council of ten," Suduko said and wished he could give the trio better news, but it was out of his hands for now. He led them toward the craft that would take them back to his home, a trip that was made in silence as the others thought about their missing team mate.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Bekha watched as Denhere readied the Atlantian for transport down to Shazzia's palatial home. The man was still unconscious and should remain deeply asleep for at least another hour, but he wore restraints on both wrists and ankles in case the drug they'd used was inadequate. He knew Shazzia would be pleased with their acquisition, but it did not bode well for the new male.

"Will the High Priestess approve of this one?" Denhere asked fearfully.

"He is a male and he was a guest of Suduko's. I think she will be pleased…especially if he is one of John's friends," Bekha explained.

"How would that help her get John back?"

"I am not sure, but she will find a way and John will be back in her hands before long. Perhaps she will keep them both…"

"Hawk is dangerous…"

"Hawk will fall to our High Priestess' will before long," Bekha assured him and pointed to the new acquisition. "Pick him up and bring him along."

Denhere lifted the unconscious man and soon had him resting over his right shoulder, both arms lying limply against his back. He nodded his head that he was ready and waited for Bekha to open the main doors of the craft. He was strong and could easily carry the new captive the short distance to the main entrance to the chambers.

Bekha led the way to the High Priestess' main rooms and pushed the bell that chimed softly from inside. One of Shazzia's personal female slaves opened the door and beckoned them inside. "Inform the High Priestess that we bring her the treasure she was seeking," Bekha told her.

"Yes, Bekha," Doneria answered and hurried toward her owner's special meditative room.

It didn't take long for Shazzia to join them in the open foyer and the smile on her face showed how pleased she was with the newest acquisition. "Which one is this?"

"I am not sure, High Priestess, but I believe this one is called Rodney McKay…he is some kind of doctor," Bekha told her. He'd known the names of Suduko's guests and of the three men this one didn't seem to have any military training. Physically he seemed in good shape and from the look on Shazzia's face she was pleased with his appearance.

"He will do," Shazzia said and motioned for Bekha and Denhere to bring the captive along. She would keep him in her quarters in one of several caged areas she kept for special slaves. John had proven to dislike the cages and on several occasions he'd injured himself while trying to escape. The single bed placed against the far wall was the only furniture the prisoners were allowed and as an extra piece of inspiration she often stripped the bed and the virile male body that usually occupied it.

"What should we do with him?" Bekha asked, finding it strange that the woman had ordered McKay brought to her special quarters.

"Place him inside and leave us," Shazzia ordered.

"Is that wise, High Priestess? What if he comes to and tries something?"

"I can handle him, Bekha," the woman said confidently. She watched as the two men placed McKay on the bed and used the soft strips to secure his arms and legs to the bed. As soon as they finished they left the room, locking the main doors behind them. Shazzia raked her eyes over the unconscious man's body and smiled as he shifted slightly as if he sensed her scrutiny.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

John was aware of Hawk's presence, but pretended to sleep as the bigger man examined his bonds. He remained silent and immobile until he felt the rod piercing his arms move and could not suppress the cry of pain that escaped his throat. His lips were clenched tightly, and he breathed through his nose as the nauseating pain of extraction continued. John could feel something wet running down his arms and realized the puncture wounds were bleeding. "God," he managed and sank back as he fought to free himself of the twisting agony.

"Let this be a lesson to you, John," Hawk warned. "I will not be defied especially while we are in the presence of others. You are a slave here and as such you will treat me and my followers with the respect you deserve…"

"Not…"

"Did you say something, John?"

"Not…a slave…never…"

"You are a stubborn man, John, but you are not strong enough to defy me," Hawk told him and pulled the captive to his knees before releasing his arms. He watched as his recalcitrant slave rubbed the feeling back into his arms before he reached out and forced the man to sit on the edge of the bed. "Stay!"

"I'm not a dog!" John snapped angrily, but remained where he was. The truth was he didn't think he could move if his life depended on it, but he wasn't about to let Hawk see his weakness.

"I have no idea what a dog is, but if it's some kind of property then you are indeed a dog," Hawk said and reached for the can of spray on the table beside the bed.

John was shocked at how gentle the big man was when he treated the injuries. The soothing spray cooled the burning fire in his forearms and made it possible for him to move his fingers and hands. He lifted his eyes to find his captor watching him, and refused to turn away as Hawk smiled at him.

"Defiant to the end," Hawk said with a hint of admiration. Never before had a slave taken such liberties, but there was something about John that reminded him of himself. Perhaps they were kindred spirits and had been destined to meet, if so Hawk was glad he was the one with the upper hand. "Now, John, there is something I need you to do."

"What?" John snapped, relieved that the constant pain had subsided enough to allow him to think straight.

"Kudrone says the Ancient Gene is strong in you and there are many ancient devices you could operate for us. I am going to allow you to see my special collection and you will try to make them work."

"What's in it for me?" John asked.

"Perhaps, if you do well you could buy your freedom," Hawk lied. There was no way he would ever allow this man his freedom, it would be like having himself as an enemy, only more dangerous. "Come…Kudrone and the others are waiting."

John didn't believe his captor would allow him to leave, but for now he had little choice, but to go along with him. He silently cursed and tried to jerk away when a leash was attached to his collar, but Hawk simply laughed, the sound grating on John's frazzled nerves.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Suduko knew something was wrong even before he landed his craft. Kierra and Bendor were running toward them, but there was no sign of Dr. Rodney McKay.

"Something's wrong," Ronan said from the co-pilot's seat as Suduko opened the rear hatch and they exited the craft.

"Suduko, thank God you have returned…"

"What is wrong, Kierra?"

"Dr. McKay…something happened to him," Bendor answered.

"Where is he?" Teyla asked worriedly.

"We do not know. He wanted to be alone and came outside while we were preparing the evening meal, but he never returned. We found this in the clearing near the back of the property," Kierra explained and passed her brother a small pointed dart.

Suduko lifted it to his nose and took a deep breath before grimacing in disgust. "Shazzia," he whispered.

"How do you know?" Lorne asked.

"My brother was her prisoner for a long time and he knows what Shazzia will do," Kierra explained. "He was a victim of her poisons on several occasions."

"We need to go after him!" Ronan snapped.

"Do you know where Shazzia would take him?" Teyla asked.

"She would take him to her fortress," Suduko answered.

"Then we need to go…"

"Ronan, it's not that simple," Suduko told the angered Setedan.

"Why not…we go in and we take back what belongs to us!" Ronan snarled.

"I wish it was that easy, but Shazzia's fortress is near impregnable," Suduko told them. "It would take something far beyond our ships and weapons to break through those barriers."

"You did it before and you were willing to help us rescue John Sheppard," Teyla observed.

"Sheppard is not Shazzia's prisoner," Suduko explained.

"Are you afraid…"

"Suduko has offered to help," Kierra snapped.

"Suduko, what if we supplied the crafts and the weapons?" Lorne asked hopefully.

"You would need something a lot faster than my ship and weapons that can break through the strongest alloys known in this galaxy," Suduko explained.

"I believe we can deliver both," Lorne said with a hint of humor.

"If you can then we'll need to work out a plan and act on it before Shazzia decides to sell McKay on the open market," Suduko warned as they hurried toward the house.

"We will need to contact our base," Lorne said.

"Another trip into orbit?" Suduko said, hopeful that they really could storm Shazzia's fortress and end her reign of terror once and for all.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Rodney wrinkled his nose and tried to bat away the offending odor, but his arms refused to move. His eyes shot open and panic flashed through his brain when his eyes focused on the woman seated on the edge of the bed. A cool breeze blew across his semi naked body and he flinched when she ran her nails down his bare chest.

"Welcome to my home, Dr. McKay," Shazzia said, her fingers continuing their downward exploration of his body.

"Who are you?" McKay asked, fighting off the effects of whatever he'd been given.

"I am High Priestess Shazzia of Denubia…"

"Shazzia!" McKay snarled, fighting to come off the bed. "Where is he?"

"Who?"

"John Sheppard….where is he?"

"He is no longer my guest, Dr. McKay," Shazzia told him, smiling as she pinched the skin around his navel. "Now, you however are and as such I believe you should no the rules to which you will abide."

"I've never been one for rules," the Canadian told her.

"Then you will pay the price," Shazzia said and pressed something against his side.

McKay cried out as his body arched upward on the bed and finally collapsed against the mattress. He fought the nausea churning through his gut as he stared into her eyes. 'God, I finally get the beautiful alien and she's a bitch,' he thought as consciousness left him.

Shazzia smiled as she exited the room and placed the small object on the shelf. Perhaps when the time came she would keep both John Sheppard and Rodney McKay and enjoy them at her own leisure.

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

Remember, Never to Forget--2

Remember, Never to Forget--18

John was shocked when the doors opened to reveal a huge warehouse filled with varying shapes and sizes of equipment. He recognized several smaller pieces, but did not know why he knew what they were. John spotted two men standing near a large piece of machinery and moved toward them when Hawk tugged on his collar.

"Kudrone, show John the items you want im to activate," Hawk ordered.

"John, do you know what this is?" Kudrone asked.

"Not a clue…never saw it before," Sheppard told him.

"It does not matter," Kudrone observed. "The Ancient gene is very strong in you and you should be able to activate this by simply touching it."

"Sit in the chair, John," Hawk ordered and shoved the man forward. They were hoping the chair would have special qualities and would enable them to activate other pieces of Ancient technology.

John looked at the chair with a mixture of curiosity and fear, but he had no choice as Hawk forced him into the seat. His hands went to the pads at the end of the arms and a dull light began to glow beneath his fingertips. The chair reclined as if guided by unseen hands and John jerked as if burned.

"I told you the gene was strong," Kudrone said. "He isn't even trying and the damn thing is working. John, what else can you make this thing do?"

"I don't know," John answered, wincing as he moved his arms and caused the pain in his arms to intensify.

"It seems to be tuned in to your mind, John, think about what you want it to do," Hawk ordered.

John closed his eyes and wished he was invisible, but he knew that was not the case as Hawk and Kudrone continued to tell him what he should be doing. He pushed up out of the chair and glared as his captor forcefully shoved him back down. "I don't know how!" John snarled.

"Try harder!" Hawk ordered.

Kudrone used a monitoring device and checked the readings from the panels, but nothing had changed since the captive had first sat down. The hand held device was a simple piece of equipment, but it had taken his science team a long time to figure out how it worked. "John, do you have any idea what this chair is used for?"

"No, damn it I don't!" John snarled, blinking as his body tingled as if touched by an electric current. He tried to stand, but Hawk pressed him firmly back in the chair. "Look, I don't know what this shit is and I don't know how it works!"

"It seems it doesn't really matter, John," Hawk told him.

"What the hell does that mean?" John snapped.

"It means the Ancient Technology is reacting to the gene you carry," Kudrone explained. "The Gene is so strong in you that you're able to make things work without knowing you're doing it!"

"I don't give a damn," John snarled and again tried to leave the chair, but cried out when Hawk pressed against the puncture wounds on both arms.

"I do…you will stay put until Dr. Kudrone releases you. I want to know what this is for and whether it will help protect my interests," Hawk warned. "If you do well you will be reward…if you don't…"

John glared at the other man as he left the warning unspoken. There was no doubt in his mind what Hawk meant, but he refused to show any fear. He moved his fingers slightly and concentrated his anger on making the equipment work. He watched Hawk's face and wished there was something he could do to wipe the smug look off his face. As if the equipment were reading his mind, Hawk's face blanched and a cry of pain was torn from his throat as his body was thrown back against the wall.

"What the hell did you do?" Kudrone asked.

"I showed the bastard he screwed with the wrong man!" John snarled and turned to Kudrone. A momentary pause allowed just enough time for Kudrone to dive behind several pieces of equipment as a circuit fired and a surge of electric current was sent in a steady stream from the chair. John could hear several of Hawk's people calling out warnings, but he paid attention to the controls of the chair.

"You will pay for that, John!" Hawk warned s he pulled himself to his feet.

John concentrated on turning the chair and aiming his attack at the man who proclaimed to be his owner. He felt the spark begin as the current increased, but before he could aim his attack the chair began to shut down. _'No,'_ he thought and concentrated on what he wanted to do, but there was no answering surge of electric current. He had no idea why the chair had suddenly stopped working, but as Hawk slowly strode toward him, John reacted instinctively.

John pushed away from the chair and stood facing his enemy with a coldness he'd never felt before. There was no doubt in his mind that Hawk would make him pay for what he'd done, but he didn't regret it. His only thought was that he'd been unable to finish the job he started. John moved to the right as Hawk reached for him. His right hand landed on an object leaning against the chair and he gripped it tightly as he brought it around in front of him.

"Put it down, John!" Hawk warned.

"Go to hell!" John told him. He pressed against the small indistinct light at the center and felt the shock of energy flow through him. His body surged with strength and he automatically used the energy staff as a weapon to defend himself from Hawk's attack. He swung it in a short, tight arc and pressed the tip to his nemesis' shoulder, jumping away as Hawk screamed in agonized torment. John heard movement behind him and brought the weapon under his arm in a stabbing motion and was rewarded when he heard a grunt of surprised pain from behind him.

John kept his eyes on the big man in front of him as Hawk regained his senses and moved in to attack again. He learned fast and ducked under John's attack, but did not quite move far enough as John adjusted and made a stabbing motion with the weapon. The two men, both Alpha males, were not willing to give ground as the fight for supremacy continued.

"You can make this easier on yourself if you drop that weapon now," Hawk warned.

"I don't think so!" John said with a hint of a cocky smile. He adjusted the weapon, holding it in both hands as he faced his enemy, but a sound from behind him came too late as something stabbed into his right shoulder. "Oh crap…" he spat as his vision blurred and his legs gave out. He fought to stay conscious and lifted the weapon, but his arms felt leaden as he fell forward and he surrendered to the calling darkness.

"How long will he be out?" Hawk asked angrily.

At least a couple of hours," Kudrone answered as he removed the sharp object from the captive's shoulder. "I believe it would be wise to keep him away from the equipment until we know how to control his abilities."

"I agree," Hawk said with a slight smile. "At least we know both pieces of equipment can be classified as weapons."

"Yes, but he seems to be the only one able to use them," Kudrone observed.

"How is your research coming? Are you any closer to finding a way to synthesize the Ancient Gene?"

"No luck so far…even with John's blood," Kudrone answered.

"Keep working on it," Hawk said and reached for the unconscious man.

Kudrone watched as his friend lifted the male off the floor and seemed to cradle the limp body against him. Hawk had many slave, but none had ever had this kind of effect on him. Whoever John was, he seemed to be something of an enigma where Hawk was concerned. He continued to watch as the big man walked out of the large room and finally turned his attention back to the chair. He sat down and concentrated on making it work, but nothing happened and he shook his head in disgust before returning his attention to categorizing the equipment.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Suduko watched as Lorne went through the same motions as Rodney McKay had done to enhance the signal made from his ship to Lorne's home base. It amazed him how far more advanced McKay and his people were compared to his world's technology. Teyla and Ronan had described the Puddle Jumpers and how they could be used to invade Shazzia's fortress without her knowing they were present. It gave him hope, hope that they could succeed and hope for a future without having to worry about invasions.

Suduko knew it would take a lot of time to open new talks with the people of Atlantis and even longer to forge new bonds and hopefully form new allies. Perhaps there would come a time when he would actually travel with McKay's people to Atlantis and see the city of the Ancients for himself. He returned his attention to Lorne as the man began to speak.

"Dr. Weir, it's Lorne…"

"Major, please tell me you have good news," Weir's voice came over the ship's speakers.

"I wish I did, but I'm afraid we've run into some trouble," Lorne answered.

"What kind of trouble? What's McKay done now?"

"Dr. McKay's been kidnapped…"

"By who?" Weir asked, her voice filled with worry.

"We're pretty sure it was High Priestess Shazzia. Suduko knows where she's taken him, but we have a problem," Lorne explained.

"What kind of problem?"

"Her fortress is impregnable…at least as far as Suduko's people are concerned. They don't have the same equipment we have…"

"What do you need, Major?"

"We could use a couple of Jumpers and reinforcements," Lorne answered.

"Major Wallace and his team should be ready in less than an hour. They'll take two Jumpers and leave as soon as you give us the coordinates," Weir assured him.

"Sending the coordinates now," Lorne told her and hit the send button on the small console.

"Major, have you heard anything new about Colonel Sheppard?"

"Not yet, Dr. Weir, but I believe that's why Dr. McKay was taken. It looks like Shazzia is trying to get Colonel Sheppard back from the man she sold him to," Lorne explained.

"All right, Major, but be careful and don't let anyone else go missing," Weir said.

"Will do," Lorne said before disconnecting and turning his attention to the others.

"How long before the…Jumpers get here?" Suduko asked.

"It depends on how long it takes for the teams to get ready," Teyla answered. "Hopefully they's be here by nightfall."

"We'd best get back to the Retreat and see if Trazdia and the council are willing to help us rescue McKay," Suduko observed.

"Will they help?" Ronan asked softly.

"I believe they will once we tell them we should have the element of surprise on our side," Suduko said and expertly piloted the ship through the heavy atmosphere.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Rodney opened his eyes and tried to move, but his body felt as if it was weighted down. His limbs were heavy and refused to obey his simple command as he forced his eyes open. There was something strange about his surroundings and he frowned as he lifted his head and realized it was the only part of his body he could move.

"Not good…not good at all," he whispered, closing his eyes and praying he would wake to find it had all been a dream. He lifted his lids to half mast and hoped his vision would clear and he would indeed be back in his quarters on Atlantis. His breathing became labored as his eyes told him what his mind already knew. "Oh, God, we're not in Kansas anymore," he snapped and tried to free himself.

"I thought you would never wake up," Shazzia said upon entering the room to find her captive panicking as he struggled to free himself.

"Who are you?"

"I am High Priestess Shazzia of Denubia, but you already know that, Dr. McKay," the woman said and watched the emotions flitting across the pale face. She could see tiny beads of sweat forming on his forehead and reached for a cloth to wipe them away. "Are you ill, Dr. McKay?"

"No…yes…I'm on the brink of a hypoglycemic reaction…"

"What is that?" Shazzia asked curiously.

"It means I need to eat something soon or…"

"Ah, so you are hungry?"

"That's what I just said!" McKay snapped.

"Perhaps I could have something brought to you or you could join me for the evening meal…"

"I'd rather eat alone," McKay spat.

"Very well…I will have my personal physician insert a feeding tube…"

"No…I don't need any tubes!"

"I refuse to release you while you are in this room, but if you would like to join me then we can forego the feeding tube. It is your choice, Dr. McKay," Shazzia told him.

McKay wanted to refuse, but the thought of being fed through a tube made him sick and he sighed heavily. "I'll eat with you," he snapped.

"You need to rephrase that and ask permission to eat in my presence," Shazzia said and saw the anger flare in her captive's eyes.

"I would prefer eating with you as opposed to having a tube shoved down my throat," the Canadian told her.

"Who said the tube would be placed down your throat?" the high priestess asked, her eyes twinkling maliciously as she eyed Rodney's lower body.

"Where are my clothes?"

"I'm not sure I want you clothed," Shazzia said and smiled when the captive's eyes lit up in a mixture of anger and coyness.

"You can't be serious?"

"Why not…there is nothing wrong with your body and I believe I'd enjoy watching you squirm."

"I think I'd rather have the tube," McKay whispered.

"As you wish," Shazzia told him and stood up. "I will send…"

"No…no, please, no tubes," the Canadian said, disgusted with the choices he'd been given and hoping he'd chosen the lesser of two evils as she released his arms. _'Next time I complain about wanting the sexy alien I hope no one is listening,'_ McKay thought, reluctantly following the woman from the room and hoping the heat in his cheeks was from fever and not the embarrassment he felt.

TBC


	19. Chapter 19

Remember, Never to Forget--2

Remember, Never to Forget--19

John knew he'd done something wrong, but for the life of him he couldn't remember what it was. He ached from the tip of his toes to the roots of his hair and suddenly realized he could not move. A flash of memory coursed through him and he briefly opened his eyes to find a small light blinking rapidly above his head. "Turn that damn thing off, Carson!" he snarled, frowning when he tried to picture the man whose name he'd called.

"John, you have disappointed me time and again…"

"Ask my father about disappointment and maybe I'll give a damn!" John spat and turned his eyes until he could see the man standing beside him. The look on Hawk's face did not bode well for him, but John had never been one to back down.

"You will learn to bend your stiff neck when I tell you to, John…"

"Like hell I will!"

"I promised you would be punished for what you did today and I believe this should be sufficient to prove it was not just an idle threat!" Hawk warned, his eyes dark as he stared at his recalcitrant slave. "You will regret what you've done."

"Only thing I regret is that I didn't kill you when I had the chance!" John spat.

"Watch your mouth, John!"

"Go to hell!"

Hawk's eyes burned with anger as he grabbed something out of John's line of sight. He smiled, but it held no mirth as he showed the captive the device held tightly in his grasp. "This is a little something Kudrone developed at my request, John, and although I would prefer not to use it you leave me no choice."

John felt his mouth go dry as he looked at the strange device Hawk held in front of him. He had no idea what the clamps would be used for, but he knew it did not bode well for him. He swallowed several times, but there was no moisture to be found as Hawk twisted the clamps and brought it forward until it was inches above his face.

"Open your mouth!" Hawk ordered.

"No!" John snapped, tightlipped and angry.

"John, don't make this harder on yourself than it already is because I assure you one way or another you will open your mouth!"

John glared at the man whose face was a mask from some horror movie and he was the victim who'd walked in at the wrong time. There was no way he would ever allow himself to become a victim, but truth be told Hawk held all the cards and no matter what he did there seemed to be no escape. His only sense of freedom came from his sense of preservation and pride and neither would allow him to give in to being a slave no matter what Hawk threatened him with.

"Kudrone, come here," Hawk ordered and the other man moved into John's line of sight.

"You would do well to do as Hawk ordered, John," Kudrone said, wincing when he looked at the device his friend held. He'd developed it, but wished there was some way he could get rid of it; unfortunately, Hawk had taken to using it when a slave proved as stubborn as this one. It would be a painful reminder that Hawk was not a man to be crossed.

John kept his mouth closed and shook his head even as Kudrone reached out and pinched his nostril, effectively cutting off the supply of oxygen. John knew he could not hold on indefinitely, but he held out longer than he thought possible until his body betrayed him and he opened his mouth to take in the air. His vision blurred, but he refocused as he felt something pressing down on his tongue and his mouth was quickly pried open as the clamps were applied to either side of his mouth.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Hawk?"

"He needs to be shown that I will not back down! He is strong, but even the strongest of men can be brought to his knees by pain. John, this will stay in place until you realize I will not be denied. You are my property and I will do what I see fit with you," Hawk warned as he slowly adjusted the device until the captive's mouth was open, stropped just before the force would break John's jaw.

John had never felt this kind of intense pain and gripped the edge of the bed as Hawk seemed to take perverse pleasure in tightening the clamps before forcing his lips to close over the tube he'd fed through his lips and down his throat. He could breathe through his nose, but the nausea churning through his gut threatened to choke off any air he breathed in. Pain coursed through him as Hawk adjusted the clamps so that there was no way he could breathe through his mouth without causing excruciating agony to shoot through his skull.

"This will stay in place until you prove to me that I can trust you," Hawk told him as he finished adjusting the strap around John's head and made sure it was locked in place. "You will be fed through a tube, but will be unable to speak unless I allow it. Rest assured this is only a hint of the pain I can cause with this device. Kudrone did well when he designed this for me."

John knew there was nothing he could do or say to dissuade Hawk from this form of punishment. His eyes drifted toward Kudrone and he caught sight of the pity in the man's eyes before he looked away. _'Rodney,' _he thought, but knew whoever Rodney was he was nothing like this man.

"Sleep well, John, for when I return you will apologize for your behavior," Hawk warned before leaving Kudrone alone with the slave.

"John, don't push Hawk any further, or this will seem like a mild punishment," Kudrone told him sadly. "Perhaps if you apologize he will remove it."

'_Never,'_ John thought, but the pain had spread to encompass his gums, jaw, cheeks, and even his eyes as the darkness reached out to claim him.

Kudrone looked at the device before turning and walking away. He'd never enjoyed seeing anyone in pain, but he would continue to develop devices like this as long as Hawk commanded him. This was his life and compared to others he was lucky not to be on Hawk's bad side. He hurried toward his lab and began to think of a way to help John regain his memory and hopefully escape Hawk's wrath.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Suduko sat at the table near the back of the bar and waited for Trazdia to rejoin him. He'd explained the situation to his friend and hoped the rest of the council members were as easily convinced that they now had a tactical advantage over Shazzia. If the Atlantians were truthful then the new crafts would easily infiltrate the high priestess' fortress and get them close enough to rescue McKay.

Suduko reached for the cup of ale and swallowed half of it before searching the dim interior for any sign of trouble. There were several other patrons, but none seemed to have any interest in what he was doing. He turned toward the back as a familiar figure strode toward his table and signaled to the barmaid to bring him a drink.

"Well, my friend, it looks like we're in for a hell of a fight," Trazdia told him.

"The council agreed?" Suduko asked.

"Not all of them, but there are enough volunteers that the council had no choice, but to agree."

"How many?"

"22…and they'll be bringing their own weapons although we could use a few more," Trazdia explained.

"I'll see if Lorne has any extra artillery," Suduko told him.

"So, when are you planning on storming the Fortress?"

"We haven't discussed that yet, but I'd like you to be there and give us some insight…"

"You know more than anyone what Shazzia's fortress is like, Old Friend," Trazdia said.

"A lot has changed since I was her prisoner," Suduko told him.

"Perhaps, but you're still the best chance we have of successfully getting McKay back. The men will follow you without question, Suduko…and so will I."

"Thank you, Trazdia, always could count on you" Suduko said and finished the last of his ale just as the barmaid brought him another and placed a glass of Trazdia's favorite in front of him. "Well, I'd better be getting back…care to join us for the evening meal?"

"Sounds good…I've missed Kierra's meals since she and Bendor wed," Trazdia said of the woman who'd worked in his establishment before meeting and falling for Bendor. "Tell me she hasn't lost her touch when it comes to fixing meals?"

"No, she hasn't," Suduko said with a hint of pride in his voice.

"Good, then let's get moving…I'm so hungry I could eat a…"

"Don't say it," Suduko warned and the two men chuckled at their own private joke.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Rodney was very self conscious as he sat at the table with High Priestess Shazzia. The table itself was low and instead of chairs he was seated cross-legged on a pile of soft pillows. The food looked wonderful and his stomach rumbled appreciatively, but his own nudity would not allow him to reach for anything. He'd grabbed a napkin as soon as he'd been allowed to sit and covered himself as best he could while Shazzia served herself from the trays of succulent food.

"Dr. McKay, I assure you the food is not poisoned and will please you," Shazzia told him.

"I'm sure it will, but I've never felt comfortable eating a meal while nude," the Canadian told her.

"Perhaps you truly would rather the tube…"

"No…no tubes, I'll eat, but would it help if I begged for my clothing?"

"No, it wouldn't, but I would enjoy hearing you do so anyway," Shazzia said and put her plate on the table. "Come here, Dr. McKay…"

"No…that's okay. I'm fine where I am," the scientist said and reached for his plate.

"When I tell you to do something I expect to be obeyed…"

"I am…I just need to choose what I want to eat," McKay said, hoping he could keep her mind off whatever lewd thoughts she was having.

"Too late…I believe I would enjoy feeding you," Shazzia told him, pleased by the look of surprise that quickly formed on his face. Come, sit beside me and we will share the meal as consenting lovers should…"

"But…but we're not…you know…consenting lovers…"

"Not yet, but that can quickly change, Dr. McKay," Shazzia said and motioned for him to join her. She smiled as a soft cough escaped his throat as he reluctantly moved to the cushion next to hers and sat down. He tried to cover himself, but Shazzia would have none of that and pulled him until he rested against her chest.

Rodney gasped as his bare back came in contact with the heavily muscled body belonging to his captor. He'd never thought of himself as being shy around women, but this was no ordinary woman and he didn't enjoy being at her mercy. "I am perfectly capable of feeding myself."

"I am sure you are, but I enjoy feeding my pets," Shazzia said and reached for a ripe red berry. She placed it in front of his mouth and waited for him to accept her offering.

Rodney realized it would do him no good to make her angry and opened his mouth. He ate the rich fruit and realized it tasted like a cross between a kiwi fruit and strawberries. "That's remarkably good…there's no citrus in it is there. I'm allergic to citrus and I doubt you have the capability to treat a severe allergic reaction here."

"You would be surprised by what we can treat here, Dr. McKay."

"Really…can I ask you something High Priestess?" McKay asked, his mind drifting back to the reason they'd been searching for this woman in the first place.

"Please, call me Shazzia and perhaps I will answer your question depending on whether you please me or not," Shazzia told him while feeding her captive another ripe berry.

"Where is John Sheppard?"

"That is not your concern, Dr. McKay?" Shazzia snapped and tightened her grip around the nude body.

"Please, John is a friend and…"

"John is of no concern to you and you would be wise to forget he ever existed. You are my slave now and I will do whatever I wish to you…including making you forget everything about your past if need be," Shazzia warned.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to make you angry," McKay said, hoping she would believe his apology in spite of the anger raging through him. Somehow he would have to stay on her good side if he wanted to find out about John Sheppard's whereabouts.

"I hope you are being sincere, Dr. McKay, because you would not like the consequences if you displease me," Shazzia told him and resumed the act of feeding her slave.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Major Evan Lorne stood between Teyla and Ronan as the two Jumpers descended toward them. Suduko had yet to return from his meeting with Trazdia, but Kierra and Bendor had assured them it would be some time before he had the answers they needed. He moved toward the newcomers as they disembarked and the jumpers were shut down.

Hank Wallace was a tall man measuring six and a half feet and built like a football player. He'd played professionally during his college years, but had decided he wanted something more out of his life. He'd joined the expedition nearly a year ago and had proven time and again that he was more than capable of doing his job and then some. He had a deep respect for Colonel John Sheppard and had been saddened by his 'death'. Now there seemed to be a chance that the man was alive and he would do everything he could to bring him home.

"Hank, welcome to the Retreat," Lorne said and shook the bigger man's hand.

"Not much of a name for such a pretty place," Wallace said of the scenic views he'd seen while piloting the jumper toward the coordinates he'd been given.

"No, but it's apt…seems it's impossible to get here except via a jumper or a craft like Suduko owns," Lorne explained.

"Is this Suduko trustworthy?"

"Yes, I believe he is, Major," Teyla answered.

"Good…it sounds like we'll have our hands full rescuing Dr. McKay," Wallace told them as they made their way toward the house.

"Suduko went to meet with Trazdia and the council to see if they'd be willing to help out," Lorne explained.

"Do we really want to bring others in on this?" Wallace asked seriously.

"We need as many people as we can get. Shazzia's fortress is supposed to be impregnable," Teyla answered. "Suduko and his people have more to offer than just their information…they've been trained for battle."

"Good," Wallace said. "Do we have any idea how many men she has?"

"Not yet, but that's something Suduko is looking into," Lorne advised. "We do know it will take the cloaked jumpers to get past her security system."

"How did you get that information?" Lieutenant Mark Germaine asked.

"Suduko," Ronan asked.

"You seem to be placing a lot of trust in a man you barely know," Germaine observed.

"We don't have much choice," Teyla told him.

"I hope he doesn't disappoint us for McKay's sake…not to mention Sheppard," Wallace said, watching as the rest of his team set up to watch the perimeter in case something went wrong.

TBC


	20. Chapter 20

Remember, Never to Forget---20

John breathed through his nose and frowned when he tried to open his mouth. Something prevented him from doing so and even moving his tongue seemed impossible. He briefly remembered having a tube down his throat after a crash, but at least then he'd been able to move his tongue. His eyes shot open and he tried to breathe past the intrusion, but his body convulsed with nauseating pain. He sat forward, reaching for the edge of a table and tried to pull the offending contraption from his mouth, but all he did was add to the agony that twisted through his skull.

"Fighting it will only make it worse, John."

John recognized the hated voice and turned to stare at the man who sat watching him with a smug smile on his face. His hands fisted at his sides as anger raged within him and his frustration increased with the realization that he was helpless in this man's presence.

"Are you ready to apologize for your behavior, John?"

'_Go to hell!'_ John thought and wondered if Hawk could see the anger in his demeanor.

"You are a stubborn slave, John, but stubborn in your case is a weakness. It has been several hours since I placed the Chulacquer in your mouth and I'm sure you must be hungry," Hawk said and lifted the cover from several plates of fruits, vegetables and several different dips.

John stared at the food and felt his stomach rumble at the exotic flavors he detected. He had no idea how long he'd slept, but if the growling sounds from his stomach were an indication than it had been several hours.

"Well, John, are you ready to apologize or do I enjoy this meal while you are fed through a tube?"

John stood up and turned his back on the bigger man, anger increasing as he heard Hawk's laughter.

"Very well, John, I will have Kudrone prepare the proper nutrients for you."

John looked for some way to escape, but the only door was behind his tormentor and he knew Hawk would not allow him to escape. He thought about trying it anyway, but a voice of reason spoke in his mind. _'John, this is not the time. Swallow your pride for once or there'll be nothing left for me to find.'_

"What are you thinking about, John?" Hawk asked having seen the change come over his 'slave's' face.

John could not give in that easily and in spite of the warning voice in his head shoved the tray of food off the table. The plates hit the wall with a resounding thud as the food splattered across the floor. He shoved the table and heard Hawk curse as it struck his legs.

"Oh, John, you will clean that up and then I will take pleasure in feeding you through that tubing," Hawk warned.

'_John, you need to control your temper. You can't win against him…not if you keep provoking him.'_ John's anger deflated as again 'Rodney's' voice sounded in his mind. God, he wished he knew who Rodney was and why the man seemed to be the voice of reason. That just didn't seem to fit, but he had no explanation as to why. With Rodney's voice in his head, John reached for several towels and began cleaning the mess he'd made.

Hawk watched his recalcitrant slave with a mixture of pride and anger. He didn't know why John had given in so quickly and hoped he hadn't broken the man's spirit that easily. John was strong, stronger than anyone he'd ever met, and that was something he didn't want to curtail, but he did need him to understand who was in charge. He waited for the other man to finish cleaning and then stood in front of him. "Are you ready to apologize?"

John shook his head and turned away. Cleaning up the mess he'd made was one thing, apologizing for being who he was, was not going to happen. He stood his ground, his eyes locked on Hawk's as if in challenge and a small smile was born on his captor's face.

"You will learn, John, but for now I will Kudrone bring the nutrients and feed you," Hawk told him.

John watched him use the keypad and sank onto the bed as Kudrone appeared a few minutes later. He held a tube, shaped like a thick syringe in his hand and passed it to Hawk.

"This is complete, Hawk, and should hold him for eight hours," Kudrone explained.

"Very well," Hawk said and turned to his captive. "John, this can be done with you sitting in a chair or I can have Kudrone restrain you until it is complete."

"John, believe me you'd much rather be sitting in the chair," Kudrone warned, relieved when the younger man moved to do as he suggested.

John swallowed his pride, nearly choking as he sat down and stared at his self proclaimed owner. Hawk smiled as he attached the syringe to the tube leading down John's throat and took malicious glee. John fought the pain as the substance was introduced to his stomach and gripped the arms of the chair tightly until Hawk finished and removed the syringe. He knew he could stop this, but only if he continued to swallow his pride.

'_Pride Goethe before the fall, Lad.' _

'_I hear you, Carson…I don't know who the hell you are, but I hear you,' _John thought and listened as Kudrone and Hawk talked about him.

"I ask you again, John, do you apologize for your behavior?" Hawk repeated his earlier question and was surprised and pleased to see the dark head nod once. "Very well, but displease me again and the punishment will be swift and harsh!"

John felt the clamps being released and the tube was pulled from his throat. His stomach churned and he grabbed for anything he could use, surprised when Hawk handed him a basin and placed a steadying hand on his shoulder. Whatever he'd been fed through the tube made a return trip until all he did was dry heave, his body shaking with the force of his sickness. He had no idea how long it took for his body to realize his stomach was empty and he sat back in the chair as Hawk passed him a cool, wet cloth. "Thanks," he managed in a voice he hardly recognized as his own.

"You brought this on yourself, John," Hawk told him. "It will go easier on you if you do as I say…when I say it."

"I've never been one to take orders…Rodney…"

"Rodney?"

"Rodney…I…he's a friend…I think," John said and suddenly felt as if he would pass out. He frowned when Hawk gently pushed him back on the bed and eased a blanket up over him.

"Rest, John, and perhaps we will explore the outlying grounds when you feel up to it," Hawk offered.

"Go outside?" John asked softly.

"If you promise to behave and do as I tell you…"

"No promises...I'll try," John answered and relaxed as sleep beckoned to him.

Hawk watched over his property for several long minutes, finally turning away when it appeared the man was sleeping. He thought about the single name John uttered on several occasion and wondered who Rodney was, and why it seemed as if John had latched on to him as if he was an anchor on a stormy ocean. "Whoever Rodney is he will pay if he touches my property," Hawk vowed before leaving the room.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Dr. Rodney McKay bristled as he was forced to walk through the corridors wearing nothing but the suit he'd been born in. Shazzia had decided she enjoyed seeing him naked, and had gone so far as to place a collar around his neck and attaching a leash to it. He closed his eyes and silently cursed the wish he'd made when John had returned from his encounter with the Travelers.

Shazzia gave a whole new meaning to the word cruel and her threat of a very public 'royal spanking' had caused him to clam up and obey her commands. He'd sat between her outstretched legs during the entire meal while she fed him the fruits and other unnamed delicacies. Now, with darkness overshadowing the daylight hours, she was leading him back to her sleeping quarters and Rodney understood what was expected of him.

"How well do you know John?"

Her question shocked him, because when he'd tried to broach the question earlier she'd cut him off. "I…he's a friend."

"I would have thought a smart man like you would have chosen a more suitable friend. I mean John is in the military while you are a civilian and rather brilliant if I am correct…"

"I am and John may be a 'grunt', but he also passed the MENSA test and that is not an easy feat by any standards."

"You sound as if you respect him?"

"I do…I'm the reason everyone thought he died out there. I…"

"You were the one who caused my ship to explode?" Shazzia snarled and grabbed him by the collar angrily.

Rodney grabbed her arms, but could not loosen her hold as he struggled to breathe. He could sense the rage building inside her and knew this could only end badly for him. His lungs burned from lack of oxygen as she savagely tightened her grip and shook him with a strength he'd never felt before. Shadows of darkness formed around him as she continued to put pressure on his throat. A strangled gasp escaped before his tormentor struck him across the face and the darkness fell as he spiraled into unconscious.

Shazzia's anger eased as the man she held went limp and she realized she'd kept too much pressure on his throat. She released him and watched as he dropped to the floor before touching her finger to the pulse point at his throat. It was faint, but she knew he was alive despite her attack. Rodney McKay was responsible for the loss of one of her slave ships and for that he would pay dearly, but she would not kill him.

Shazzia reached down and lifted the unconscious man in her arms. She no longer cradled him as she had during the first few hours; instead she threw him over her shoulders and strode toward her private chambers. Once there she dropped him onto the mat at the foot of her bed and reached for the manacles bolted to the floor. She wrapped them around his ankles and stood up, admiring the physique in spite of her anger.

Shazzia made her way to the cabinet near the window and looked out over her fortress and knew she could not let McKay's actions go unpunished. Perhaps a public whipping was in order, but she didn't really want to mark his body in such a way. She turned back to her captive and smiled at the thought of making him sorry he'd destroyed something so valuable and an idea formed, an idea that could only be completed if she could get John back.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Major Evan Lorne looked at the men anxiously waiting to start the mission. There were twelve Atlantians counting himself, Teyla, and Ronan. Suduko and 12 of Trazdia's men would join Major Wallace in attacking the fortress from the rear, while the remaining men would join his group and attack from the front. Thanks to Suduko's information they knew there were no entrances from the east and west side of Shazzia's compound.

Trazdia had left two men to watch Domitar's home and would report to them if the elderly man made any attempts to contact Shazzia. Domitar had always allied himself with the High Priestess and if he found out about the upcoming attack he would send word to her. His men understood how important it was that the attack remained secret and Suduko had assured Lorne that Trazdia's men would do everything in order to maintain that secrecy.

The plan was to take the cloaked jumpers as close to the fortress as possible and wait for the Bays to open. Suduko had told them Shazzia's ships made regular stops and would be leaving from both the front and rear exits at the end of the first cycle. Once inside they would wait for a signal from Lorne that things were in place. The men would deploy, leaving one man on each jumper in case they were discovered.

"Does everyone understand what's expected of them?" Lorne asked.

"I think we've gone over everything, Major," Trazdia said and looked around at his men. They'd brought there own weapons and plenty of ammo and each man seemed ready and anxious for the action to start. He knew they were well trained and could handle anything, but he was not familiar with the Atlantians and worried about whether or not they could handle themselves. Suduko had told him Major Lorne knew what he was doing and that the Atlantians all had military training. Trazdia glanced at the big man standing at the edge of the group and wondered why a former 'runner' from Sateda would form an alliance with these people.

Trazdia watched as a Teyla Emmagan moved to stand beside the Satedan and admired the way she moved. Suduko had told him that she was well trained and he'd witnessed her and the Satedan working out before the initial meeting and discussion of the plan to attack Shazzia's fortress. He still thought it a foolhardy plan, but once he'd been shown how the Jumpers worked he could not find a reason to protest.

"Hank, you take Suduko and his men with you and contact me when you're in position. Trazdia, are your men ready?" Lorne asked as Wallace led the others toward the first jumper.

"My men are always ready, Major," Trazdia explained as Teyla and Ronan joined them. "I just hope the same can be said of yours."

"My men can handle themselves," Lorne answered.

"I guess we'll soon find out," Trazdia told him and headed toward the second jumper. It wasn't long before both Jumpers lifted off and headed toward Shazzia's Fortress.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

John could not believe Hawk was actually allowing him to go outside. He wanted, no he needed to get outside in order to get the lay of the land if he was going to make good his escape. Aside from what Hawk told him, he had no idea what the planet was like. Hawk could easily have lied about the harsh terrain and the frequency of deadly solar storms.

"What are you thinking about, John?' Hawk asked as they stepped through the door and onto the dark soil of his world.

"Just wondering why?"

"Why what?"

"Why you're bringing me out here?"

"I want to prove to you I am not always cruel and to give you the chance to prove your apology was real. I warn you though…if you try anything stupid I will punish you."

"I hear you," John said sighing heavily as he grew quiet. A part of him wanted to lash out, but his throat and mouth were still sore from Kudrone's device and speaking made it feel like he'd been chewing on glass shards. He knew retaliation would be swift if he tried anything and that it was better to bide his time and find out what lay beyond the walls of his prison.

"See those mountains in the distance?"

"Yes," John answered as they slowly walked away from the compound.

"They erupt every six cycles and cause the ground to erode. The trees are strong and most survive, but there is a lot of dead vegetation the closer you get to the mountains. Perhaps, if you behave yourself, we will take a ship and explore the area."

John could hardly contain his excitement at the thought of flying again. He knew deep down that flying was an obsession for him, yet he could not begin to understand why. He looked around the area outside Hawk's compound and listened as his 'owner' explained about the different trees and wildflowers that were just peeking through the denser foliage.

"The red, yellow, and silver flowers lie dormant during the solar storms and bloom for several hours each morning. Don't touch the yellow flowers because they are toxic to most living creatures."

"Toxic?"

"Yes, we learned long ago that they produce a strong toxin when our skin comes into contact with the petals."

"What about the red and silver ones?"

"They are safe…as a matter of fact the silver flowers are used by Kudrone to make some of the strongest medications that fight infections," Hawk answered as he led John down a narrow, sloping trail.

John could not believe the breathtaking view of the valley that swept down through the mountains, giving way to a fast flowing river far below. The sky was a dizzying array of colors that blended with the thick brush and tall tress so well it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began. John walked to the edge of the trail and stared down, blinking his eyes until they adjusted to the darkness below.

"That's no man's land, John. Nothing grows there, but there are creatures that live in the darkness and prey on anyone stupid enough to go in there," Hawk explained.

John heard the warning, but he knew if it came down to escaping he would gladly face the creatures and the darkness than stay a slave to this man. He moved to the opposite side and was again met by darkness, yet in front of them was a rolling valley for as far as the eye could see. If he stayed on the path he would be able to travel past the dark voids on either side of the trail.

"If you're thinking about escaping through the valley, John…"

"I wasn't…"

"If you are you should know that the trail goes directly through the void and many people have been lost once they've made that mistake. I won't allow you to try it," Hawk warned softly before facing his property. "The void is the main reason I chose to build my home here. The darkness and the creatures keep my slaves from escaping and keep out those who would take what is mine."

"I thought you owned everything…"

"I do, but I allow the others to build as long as they do not interfere with my people," Hawk told him and reached for a strange green object hanging from a tree covered in purple leaves. "Here, eat this."

"What is it?"

"It is called Takalo," Hawk answered. "It is very good…and should soothe your throat and mouth. It has medicinal qualities."

John took the object and studied it closely before watching Hawk peel back the sections and suck the gel from inside. He copied the move, surprised at how easily the shell could be peeled away and sniffed at the gel before tasting it. It was sweet and cool as he sucked it into his mouth and swished it around. The Takalo seemed to have a deadening effect on the inside of his mouth and the pain eased as he swallowed the insides.

Hawk watched his slave closely, pleased with the look on his face as he tasted the sweet Takalo gel. He'd known the healing fruit grew wild here and it was one of the main reasons he decided to bring him here. "There are many different varieties of Takalos and each one serves a different purpose and is very good for us."

"I bet Teyla would know about these," John said, frowning when a fleeting image of a beautiful woman flashed across his mind.

"Who is Teyla?"

"I don't know…she's someone I know I think," John said and cried out as agony twisted through his skull. His knees gave out and he would have fallen, but for the strong arms that reached out for him. He tried to fight when he was lifted off the ground, but flashes of light intermixed with familiar faces sent daggers of pain through his skull. Consciousness left him, but not before he realized Hawk truly was in control, at least for now.

TBC


	21. Chapter 21

Remember, Never to Forget---21

Suduko watched as Hank Wallace worked the controls of the Puddle Jumper. The man seemed very good at what he did, but Suduko never relaxed when someone else piloted a ship. His men were ready and had been introduced to Wallace's team and knew exactly what was expected of them. They would hit Shazzia's fortress wit everything they had and hopefully they would rescue McKay before the High Priestess did too much damage.

Suduko remembered his own time in her hands and shuddered at the thought of how easily she could and would cause pain. The times she'd had him punished for any slight made him wonder if McKay could survive a day in her clutches. He bore the scars to prove just how cruel Shazzia was, but he'd let it shape the man he was and not let it make him bitter.

"What's the story behind the High Priestess?" Wallace asked curiously. He had some of the information from Lorne, but felt there was a lot more and that this man could fill in some blanks.

"I do not know what you mean," Suduko answered.

"She's a slaver…so why hasn't anyone stopped her before or does your world condone slavery?"

"My world does not condone slavery…it is something we despise, but Shazzia does not give a damn what is right. She takes what she wants and enslaves or kills anyone who tries to stop her."

"So why don't your people put a stop to it?"

"Our ships are not capable of penetrating her fortress, but yours are and hopefully we will be able to stop her from doing this to anyone else. My men are well versed in what is to come and they will take her out if they see an opportunity," Suduko explained as the ship broke through the atmosphere and he spotted Shazzia Fortress in the distance.

"Sonofa…that thing's a monster," Wallace exclaimed.

"As I said it's impregnable with our ships," Suduko told him. The Fortress was built on a small moon that orbited the planet and harvested the power from the sun. It was an amazing piece of architecture, yet he wanted to destroy the thing and the woman who resided there.

"Well, we're cloaked now and they won't even know we're there," Wallace said. 

"I hope not, Major, because if she feels threatened she won't hesitate to destroy this ship," Suduko said and checked his weapon as they approached the coordinates.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Evan Lorne piloted the Puddle Jumper closer to the Fortress and wondered whether this mission was a foolhardy venture, then again most of their missions were. The teams took their lives in their hands when they stepped through a gate or flew a mission such as this one, yet they never hesitated to follow it through. He glanced sideways at Ronan and knew the Setedan did not fully trust Trazdia and his men, but right now they needed the extra help. The Jumpers had already been cloaked and he hoped Shazzia had no way of discovering her fortress was being invaded.

"Major, the entrance we're looking for is on the opposite side of that stone wall. You'll need to get as close to the outer edge as possible and use the gravity of the fortress pull you in. It's something we found out from Suduko when he escaped from Shazzia," Trazdia explained.

"Won't we hit the wall?" Ronan asked.

"No, that's what most people think, but the force of the gravity brings you within a hundred feet of the opening. Shazzia thinks she's impregnable here and has used the natural barrier as a means of keeping out invaders. She seems to think no one will be able to fly this path except for her ships," Trazdia told them.

"She is in for a rude awakening," Teyla offered, growing quiet when Hank Wallace made contact with them.

"_Evan, we're in position…there's no sign of any ships or other forms of defense."_

"Same here, Hank, just be careful," Lorne advised.

"_Stay frosty." _

"_You too…see you on the other side." _

"All right, people, let's do this," Lorne said and piloted the ship closer to the outer fringes of the Fortress.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Rodney felt something tickling his face, but before he could enjoy the sensation, pain slammed through him and he fought to breathe past whatever was constricting his air supply. "Car…Carson," he rasped, frowning at how weak his voice sounded and finally managed to get his eyes open.

"This is so not good," he whispered as his eyes took in his surroundings. His memory returned with the discovery and he looked around in search of his captor. Shazzia was no where to be seen and he breathed a sigh of relief before sitting up. He realized something else and silently cursed the woman for taking away his clothing and not bothering to give him anything he could use to cover himself with.

The second thing he discovered was a metal band wrapped around his ankle and a length of chain attached to it and a hoop set in the floor. He tried to work the locking mechanism, but it was useless and he turned his attention to the hoop, but that too, held him fast. He heard a sound at the door and turned to find his captor standing there with a hint of a smile on her face.

"So, you are finally awake," Shazzia said and moved into the room.

"Where are my clothes?" McKay asked, his voice rising as she stepped into the room.

"I told you there was no need of hiding your body in my presence," Shazzia told him and sat on the Chaise lounge beside him. "Come sit with me, Rodney…"

"I'd rather not…"

"It was not a request," Shazzia snapped and tugged on the chain. She smiled when her reluctant captive moved toward her, but sat as far away as he could. She moved closer to him and cupped his chin with her right hand. "What should I do with you, Rodney?"

"Let me go," McKay answered simply.

"That is not going to happen, but you do need to be punished for what you did to my ship. You cost me many Shoclaws and I will not let that go…perhaps a public whipping is in order?"

"No…look, I did what I had to do to help those people…"

"You did not even know those people and you interfered in something that was none of your business," Shazzia snapped, putting pressure on his chin as she stared into his eyes. "I believe you will find I do not take kindly to the destruction of my property…"

"Those people had lives and had a right to live free…"

"That is an old argument that means nothing to me, Rodney. John was as stubborn as you, and he fought, but I believe I made him see the error in his ways. He bares my mark and when I get him back he will be punished for what you did…"

"What? Wait a minute! Why should John be punished for something I did?"

"Because I believe that will be the best punishment for both of you. I do believe you would rather face a whipping in public than see John hurt," Shazzia told him and finally released his chin, smiling when he reached up to rub the reddened area. She could see the bruises on his throat in the shape of her fingers and gently reached out to touch the area.

"Don't…"

"Don't what, Rodney? Don't do this?" she asked and pressed her lips against his, smiling when he tried to move away from her touch. "I do believe you will make a good bed warmer for me."

"I choose who I go to bed with," McKay spat, but the look on her face told him she could and would do exactly as she said. _'If I ever wish for the beautiful alien again I'll shoot myself,'_ he thought as she pulled him closer and he had little choice, but to give in to her touch.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Evan Lorne flew the Puddle Jumper as close to the fortress as possible and was amazed to find Trazdia's information was correct. The Jumper was so close to the outer wall he was sure they would collide, but it didn't happen and an opening appeared in the impregnable fortress. He fought the Jumper's systems, not really comfortable with the loss of control or the vibrations caused by the close proximity to Shazzia's home.

"Just let the ship fly itself, Major," Trazdia explained.

"It feels like it's going to crash!" Lorne observed.

"It won't…unless you continue to fight the gravity," Trazdia told him.

"Perhaps you should do as he says, Major," Teyla offered, relieved when Lorne did as she suggested and the buffeting of the ship eased as it slipped through the opening and inside the fortress. There were several guards near the entrance, but they took no notice of the ship and raised no alarm.

"We need to put the jumper somewhere where it won't be discovered," Lorne explained.

"What about putting it behind that ship?" Ronan asked. "It's bigger than the Jumper and we'll be able to get out without being seen."

"That should work," Lorne agreed and easily maneuvered the Jumper between the larger ship and the wall, relieved to be back in complete control of his ship. He listened and watched for any sign that they'd been discovered, but no one approached them and he sighed in relief.

"_Evan, we're in position."_

"So are we, Hank, take your team and let Suduko lead the way. We'll be right on your tail and secure a safe path for retreat," Lorne answered.

"Be careful, Evan…"

"You too, Hank," Lorne said, and nodded to Ronan to open the Jumper's hatch. He moved out into the bay and held his weapon to his shoulder as he waited for the others to join him.

Trazdia and his men lined up against the opposite wall and motioned that they were ready whenever Lorne was. He nodded to two of his best men and they moved to take care of the guard. It didn't take long to dispose of them and hide their bodies in a dark alcove before rejoining Lorne and his team.

Teyla ducked low and raced toward the open doorway, not all that surprised to find the corridor beyond empty. Suduko had told them Shazzia thought her fortress impregnable and only posted guards when she was expecting company. The hallway was lit by wall sconces that barely drove back the darkness and she knew this was in their favor. If they could make it to the High Priestess's chambers they just might rescue Rodney McKay and get out with minimal damage.

"Ron, you and Marcus check the corridor that branches off to the right. Make sure no one can surprise us from that direction," Lorne explained and watched the two people move to complete his orders. Trazdia took control of his own men and followed the rest of Lorne's team along the dimly lit corridor. The major knew they'd been lucky so far, but expected that luck to run out before long because somehow he knew High Priestess Shazzia was not stupid, reckless, maybe, but stupid no. It was only a matter of time before they reached the inner part of the fortress and ran into more of her guards.

"Major, there's a three way juncture ahead and we need to be careful. There could be guards or surveillance equipment…if we're caught now I doubt we'd be able to get McKay and get out of here," Trazdia explained.

"Charlie, you and Tyler take the right fork," Lorne explained.

"Corbone and Starchurg will take the left while the rest of us continue along the main route," Trazdia offered and motioned for Lorne to take the lead. He held his gun close to his body, one that was the simplest form of the weapon the Atlantians used, but he felt at home with it.

Lorne nodded and moved stealthily along the corridor, checking everything in sight. His instincts were on high alert for anything that might tell them their presence had been detected. He glanced at his watch and noted they'd been in the fortress for less than fifteen minutes, yet it felt like a lifetime.

"Major," Trazdia called softly and waited for Lorne to turn toward him. "The High Priestess's chambers should be around the next corner. She is bound to have guards stationed there and we must be careful not to give away our presence until Suduko and the others are in place."

"All right…we stay here," Lorne said and turned to see Teyla and Ronan nearby. He nodded to both and hoped things went easy, but deep down he knew nothing was ever easy.

"_Evan, we're in position…have you seen any hostiles?"_

"Just the guards in the bay, but that don't mean there aren't any. Stay frosty and be careful," Lorne warned.

"_You do the same and I'll buy you a drink when we get home."_

"Works for me," Lorne said. He glanced around the corner and used hand signals to tell the others what he wanted them to do as they moved closer to Shazzia's private quarters.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

John became aware of softness and turned slightly on his side as he pulled the blankets up over his body and snuggled into them. He couldn't remember ever feeling this warm, but something told him it wouldn't last. He sighed heavily and opened his eyes, frowning as he realized he was in a real bed and alone for the first time in God only knew how long. John pushed back the blankets and wondered who had taken away his clothing as memory returned with the opening of the door.

"How do you feel, John?" Kudrone asked.

"Don't know…what happened?"

"Hawk was showing you the valley and you passed out. He carried you back here and asked me to check you over. I convinced him you were exhausted and needed to sleep in a real bed without fear," Kudrone answered.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would you do that for me?"

"Hawk has been good to me, John, but that does not mean I like what he does…"

"If you don't like what he does then why don't you stop him?"

"Because he's a coward, John," Hawk said, having heard the conversation. He knew Kudrone disliked what he did, but the man would never do anything to help the slaves, because he enjoyed the fringe benefits his position entailed. "Kudrone knows he can never do anything to help you, but he does like to act as if he can."

"Hawk, I didn't mean…"

"I know what you mean, Kudrone, but I'd rather you stopped giving my property false hope," Hawk warned. "Get dressed, John, there is more I want you to see."

"And if I refuse?"

"Then we return to my chambers and you can stay there until you're ready to see what I have to show you."

"I hate this," John said as Kudrone handed him the clothing that marked him as a slave.

"So you have said, but it does not matter…"

"Can you leave so I can get dressed?"

"Surely you are not shy, John?" Hawk asked with a hint of a smile.

"No, I just don't like an audience for everything I do."

"It does not matter what you like or don't like…property has no rights and therefore you will do as I say…"

"Go to hell!" John spat, anger getting the best of him as he stood defiantly facing his 'owner'.

"John, don't," Kudrone warned.

"Look, I didn't ask to be here and I damn well don't need anyone's permission…"

"That's where you're wrong, John," Hawk warned and latched onto the 'slave's' right wrist. "You will do as I say…when I say it or you'll find yourself chained to the bed in my chambers until you are ready to apologize…"

"Look, Hawk…"

"Master…"

"What?" John asked angrily.

"From now on you will call me master…"

"Like hell I will!" John spat and found himself being forced to his knees. Hawk's strength shone through as he towered over John and bent his wrist until they heard the unmistakable sound of bones breaking. John choked on a scream as his wrist remained locked in his tormentor's vice like grip.

"It is time you realized you do not have a choice here, John. I am your owner and can do as I wish with you! Do not make the mistake of thinking you have rights, because you do not!"

"Hawk, if you keep putting pressure on his wrist he'll need surgery to repair the damage!" Kudrone warned.

"John knows what is expected of him…say it, John!"

John could hardly breathe as the pain shot up his arm, sending nausea churning through his gut as the relentless pressure on his wrist continued. He felt the bitter taste of defeat and disgust when tears sprang unbidden to his eyes. He blinked them away and refused to lower his gaze as Hawk stood over him.

"Say it, John," Hawk ordered.

"No," John shook his head defiantly, but he knew his resolve was weakening as pain spread throughout his body. He kept his eyes locked on Hawk's and thought he saw something akin to respect there, but it was quickly smothered as the bigger man put more pressure on John's wrist. He swallowed several times in and effort to keep from losing the contents of his stomach, but the bitter taste of bile soon filled the back of his throat. He knew he could not win against this man, but defeat was a bitter pill to swallow, yet if he didn't he would choke on it.

"John, do not think you can win…"

"Yes, Mas…Master," John said, hatred and disgust evident in spite of the tremor in his voice.

"Very well…get dressed," Hawk ordered, releasing his 'slave's' wrist.

John cradled his injured hand against his chest and glared at the man who professed to be his owner. Pins and needles followed by dagger like pain swept through him as Kudrone reached for his arm.

"I should…"

"You should mind your own business, Kudrone!" Hawk spat.

"I apologize, Hawk, but if left untreated his hand and wrist will not heal properly and he will be defective. That is not what you wanted when you acquired him."

"Fix his wrist and bring him to my quarters when you are done!"

"Yes, Hawk," Kudrone said, sighing heavily when his friend left the room. He reached for John and helped him stand before seating him on the edge of the bed and gently probed the area that was even now beginning to show signs of bruising. "You really need to think before you speak, John."

"Leave it."

"I can't…you heard him," Kudrone said and continued touching the area until he found several breaks. "I'm going to need to set this and place it in a protective casing. Would you like something for pain?"

"Only from Carson," John whispered, overwhelmed by a sense of need. He had no idea who Carson was, but along with Rodney he seemed to be a safe haven in a storm of despair. He sat back and ignored the pain shooting up his arm as Kudrone manipulated the bones and set the wrist.

TBC


	22. Chapter 22

Remember, Never to Forget---22

Suduko stayed close to the wall and aimed his weapon in the direction of the door at the end of the corridor. There was another entrance at the opposite side and it was being covered by Lorne, Trazdia and their men. Wallace was damn good, but Suduko had more than the rescue of Rodney McKay on his mind. If he made it to Shazzia's chambers he was going to make damn sure she never had the chance to enslave others again.

Trazdia's men were keeping an eye on Domitar and hopefully they would keep the elderly man from interfering with their mission. Shazzia had shown no sign that she knew they were there and he could only hope Domitar knew nothing of the impending attack.

"Suduko, are you okay?" Wallace asked.

"I am fine…make sure your people know what is expected of them," Suduko said.

"My men can handle themselves," Wallace explained.

"We need to move quickly and quietly," Suduko observed. "Make sure your men know what to do once we enter Shazzia's chambers. She's a mean bitch and she doesn't forgive mistakes."

"We won't make any mistakes."

"Good, get McKay and I'll take care of Shazzia," Suduko said as the team moved toward the closed doors.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Rodney McKay had never felt so humiliated or exposed as Shazzia chained him to the bed and refused to allow him to cover his body. It wasn't that he was ashamed of how he looked, but he really didn't like to flaunt it. He watched as his captor sat before a mirror and used creams on her face and arms. He hated how she glanced at him, her eyes filled with the promise of things to come. Things Rodney McKay had no interest in…at least not where Shazzia was concerned.

"Why do your people insist on covering such perfection, Rodney?" Shazzia asked seductively as she turned toward him.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," McKay told her.

"You and John are both perfectly acceptable males, yet you insist on covering your bodies with excess clothing. Why is that? Surely you're not ashamed of how you look?"

"I'm not ashamed of how I look," McKay said, searching desperately for something to cover himself with as the woman knelt on the bed beside him. His eyes grew wide as she seemed to be purring like a cat ready to pounce. '_God, help me,'_ he thought and closed his eyes.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Ronan and Teyla stood on one side of the hallway and waited for Lorne's signal. They were anxious to find McKay and maybe even get a chance to question the High Priestess about John Sheppard. There were two guards stationed outside the doors and Teyla had already agreed she would be a distraction.

Teyla watched Lorne and as soon as he gave her the signal she passed Ronan her weapon and walked seductively around the corner. The guards turned as soon as they heard her and she swore she could see the lust in their eyes.

"You're not supposed to be here," the larger of the two men said, but it was plain to see he was glad she'd shown up.

"I'm sorry…I must have take a wrong turn. I was looking for my quarters, but I get lost so easily. Could you tell me how to get back to the main sleeping area?"

"You could always stay here and keep us warm…something as pretty as you shouldn't be on her own," the smaller man said, elbowing his friend conspiratorially.

"The High Priestess would have us flayed alive," the big one observed.

Teyla continued forward until she reached the two men and ran her hands down the well muscled shoulders. "You are both so strong…why are you here?"

"We protect Her Highness from unwanted intrusions," the larger guard said.

"Oh," Teyla purred and ran her fingers along his jaw. "Such an important job must mean you are very good at your job."

"That we are," the smaller one said and was shocked when something connected with the back of his head.

Teyla reacted instinctively as Ronan rendered the smaller guard unconscious. She brought her right knee up into the man's groin and followed up with an elbow to his throat as he bent forward. All her training paid off as the large man pitched forward on hands and knees and she finished him off with an elbow to the back of the head.

"Remind me to stay on your good side," Ronan said as he dragged the bigger man out of sight.

"See that you do," Teyla warned with a hint of a smile.

"According to Suduko there are several parts to Shazzia's chambers. The first is the main room and there could be more guards there," Trazdia explained and smiled as he turned to Teyla. "Perhaps we should just send you in there and have you take them out…"

"You always let a woman do your fighting for you?" Ronan asked.

"When she can fight like that I do," Trazdia assured him and took up position on the left side of the door as Ronan and Lorne did the same on the right.

"We go in on three," Lorne said and slowly counted off the numbers before Trazdia used his weapon to blow the locking mechanism. Ronan kicked the door open and dove in, coming to his knees to the right of the entrance as two guards reached for their discarded weapons. He fired quickly, taking them both down as the rest of the assault team entered the room.

Lorne entered right on Ronan's heels and automatically checked the area, counting the doors and searching for movement from the alcoves. There was nothing but silence, yet Lorne knew better than to relax as they moved deeper into the chambers. He used hand signals to tell the others what he wanted and moved quickly to the ornate door at the center of the main room.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Suduko hung back as Wallace and the others made their way toward the entrance to Shazzia's chambers. They'd taken care of the guards and he knew there would only be a couple in her private quarters. There was a secret exit, a failsafe she'd kept in place and Suduko knew where the door opened and that's where he headed as the others continued with their mission. He reached the bend in the corridor that led to the back access tunnel and hurried along until he reached the panel that would open should Shazzia try to escape.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Rodney wasn't sure what he was hearing, but his eyes shot open as his captor released him and reached for the weapon on the floor beside the bed. He reacted instinctively, silently thanking Shazzia for removing the chain from his ankles as he struck out with his feet, catching her in the lower back and sending her off balance. He heard her curse as the main door opened and several men hurried inside. He recognized Lorne and Ronan, and immediately forgot about his state of undress in the heat of the moment.

"Thank God," he said, but it was short lived as Shazzia grabbed him and pulled him toward a door that opened on his right.

"Stop her!" Trazdia ordered and rushed forward, but the High Priestess had already disappeared through the opening with her unwilling captive.

Lorne, Teyla, and Ronan hurried toward the opening, but were too late as it closed, blocking any access.

"Rodney!" Teyla called and pounded on the door, but there was no answer as they searched for an access panel.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Shazzia dragged McKay along the corridor and struck him when he tried to fight her. She knew it was dangerous to take him along, but right now she was not willing to give him up. If she could reach the secret docking bay she could get her ship and escape before the others discovered the control panel and opened the door.

"Let me go!" McKay snapped.

"I don't think so, Rodney," Shazzia said.

"Do as he says, Shazzia!" Suduko warned.

"Well, well…hello, Suduko, it has been a long time."

"Not long enough," Suduko spat.

"Oh, Suduko, I have such fond memories of our time together…wouldn't you like to…"

"Tear you apart with my bare hands," Suduko interrupted. "Let Dr. McKay go and I'll show you exactly what I think of you."

"I don't think so. You and I have nothing more to say, while Rodney and I are only just getting acquainted," Shazzia said and shielded her body with the captive's. "You see Rodney needs to be punished for destroying one of my ships…"

"He should be rewarded for doing us all a favor," Suduko told her. He could see the fear in McKay's eyes, but he could also see the grim determination as the man lifted his bare foot and brought it down on Shazzia's. The woman cried out, but didn't release him as she brought the weapon down on the back of his head. Suduko pointed and fired, the small projectile impacted with the woman's shoulder and forced her to drop her weapon.

McKay felt dizzy as Shazzia shoved him forward and would have fallen if not for Suduko. The bigger man managed to catch him and hold him up, but McKay heard him curse and turned to see Shazzia disappear through a second portal. The opening closed as soon as she was through and Suduko eased him to the cold ground. "Go…"

"You're hurt…"

"I'm okay…get her!" McKay managed and felt the nausea churning through his gut. "Don't let her escape!"

Suduko hurried to the wall and tried to find the portal, but there was nothing that would give them access to the High Priestess' escape route. He cursed several times, but turned when he heard movement behind them.

"Someone's coming!" McKay said and struggled to get to his feet. Suduko held his weapon in front of him and watched the corridor as the footsteps grew closer. "Lorne!"

"Where's Shazzia?" Trazdia asked.

"She escaped through a portal," Suduko said returning his attention to the wall.

"Rodney, you are hurt," Teyla said and moved to examine the injured man's head.

"I'm okay…"

"You are cold," Teyla observed.

"How'd you lose your pants, McKay?" Ronan asked with a grin.

"Don't ask!" McKay snapped, regretting it immediately when it felt as if his head would explode.

"Easy, Rodney, I'm sure we'll find something for you to wear," Teyla said.

"Shazzia can't escape!" Suduko spat and fired his weapon at the wall several times. Trazdia and several of Wallace's men did the same, but their efforts failed.

"We'll find her, My Friend," Trazdia said, placing a hand on Suduko's shoulder before turning to his men. "Find a way through here and I'll buy drinks for the next cycle!"

"We need to get Rodney back to the Jumper," Teyla told them.

"Major, you take your men and head back…Suduko and I will lead the search for Shazzia," Trazdia explained.

"I can't go anywhere like this?" McKay said desperately trying to cover himself.

"What's the matter, McKay? Ashamed you won't measure up?" Wallace teased.

"Rodney has nothing to be ashamed of," Teyla said, cocking an eyebrow at Wallace's comment.

"Thank you," McKay said, feeling a hint of heat in his cheeks.

"Come On, Rodney," Teyla said and helped him to his feet.

"Hank, stay with Suduko," Lorne said and knew Wallace would stick with the others and bring them back to the planet.

"We're going to destroy this place once we find her!" Trazdia vowed.

"Just make sure you're far enough away when it explodes," Lorne warned. He watched as Teyla and Ronan moved to support the dazed Canadian and quickly led the way back along the corridor.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

John walked slowly along the hallway until they reached the door to Hawk's chambers. Kudrone had placed his wrist in a hard casing making it impossible to move, but it also supplied him with a weapon should the opportunity arise. He took a deep breath, hating the feelings running through his mind. Fear mixed with distaste mingled with hatred and hope as the door slid open and Kudrone motioned for him to go inside.

"Come in, John…Kudrone, I will speak to you later," Hawk ordered.

John felt the light of hope being distinguished as Kudrone left him alone with the other man. He stood where he was, hiding the contempt he felt for Hawk as the big man slowly walked around him.

"John, you are going to learn to bow that stiff neck of yours or eventually I will break it," Hawk warned.

"Better off dead than a 'slave'," John snapped.

"Do you really think so? At least you have a chance of escape if you're alive," Hawk said and stood in front of his captive. "I'm sure that's what you're thinking, John, but I warn you death is not an option and escape is far beyond your means. I showed you the gorge so you'd have an idea of what you're up against. I chose this place on purpose because it is easy to defend if anyone is stupid enough to launch an attack. This fortress is impregnable…"

"No fortress is impregnable," John told him.

"How do you know, John, when you don't even know who you are," Hawk snapped. "I grow tired of your…"

"Then let me go!"

"That is not an option, John, you belong to me. Perhaps a taste of fighting will curb your insolence and show you that I can and will do what I want. Perhaps a private fight between you and Tyrel?"

"I won't fight him!" John said, remembering the young male who he'd last seen during the return trips from the fight.

"You won't have a choice, John, because he will fight you if I wish it."

"I don't think so."

"We shall see," Hawk said and reached for a length of chain attached to the wall. "I am tired and in need of sleep."

"What's that for?"

"I want you where I can watch over you," Hawk answered. "This chain will be locked to the collar around your neck and you will sleep at the foot of my bed as all pets do…"

"I'm not a pet…I'm a man!"

"No, you are a pet…my pet," Hawk told him and clicked the mechanism to seal the lock. "Your pallet is there."

John stared at the man as he walked to his bed and lay down. He turned and looked at the fur spread out at the foot of Hawk's bed and reluctantly sat down. Whatever Kudrone had given him when he fixed his wrist was making him sleepy and there was no choice but to lie back and sleep.

Hawk listened as John's breathing evened out and knew he was sleeping. What was it about this man that made him want to hurt and protect him at the same time? Why didn't he just sell him and be rid of the problem before it got a bigger hold on him? Hawk sat up and looked down at the sleeping captive and wondered at the warring emotions that crossed his face. It spoke of dreams, but whether they were good or bad was something he didn't know and guessed it was probably the latter. With a heavy sigh, Hawk lay back on the bed and hardened himself against the soft emotions John managed to conjure in him.

TBC


	23. Chapter 23

Remember, Never to Forget---23

Suduko's anger had finally given way to regret and he knew he had lost the opportunity to capture Shazzia, but he would never give up trying. Shazzia deserved to die for what she'd put people through, what she'd put him through and someday his dream of killing her would come true.

"Suduko, my friend, there's nothing more we can do here."

"I know, Trazdia," Suduko reluctantly agreed and strode away from the dead end. "Let's blow this place out of the sky!"

"You got it," Trazdia said and turned to see Wallace handing out C4 to not only his own men, but Trazdia's as well. If Suduko was right the explosive would take care of everything and leave nothing but space debris in its place. "Make sure you place them where my engineers indicated or there won't be enough damage to destroy this place."

"We will," Wallace assured him with no malice. He'd come to respect Trazdia and Suduko and their men and conceded to their expertise of the fortress. He took several men with him as they began laying down the explosives and hoped the engineers were right.

Suduko felt a hand on his shoulder and took comfort in his friend's presence as they turned and followed Suduko away from Shazzia's chambers. The woman was about to lose something she loved and he hoped it would dampen her spirit and force her to make mistakes. He knew she had an ally in Domitar and that he was probably the only one who could and would offer her a haven until she was able to rebuild her fortress, but Suduko vowed that would not happen.

"We'll find her, My Friend," Trazdia vowed, shaken by the look on the other man's face. Somehow he would keep that vow and release Suduko from the bonds that bound him to the High Priestess.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Ronan eased Rodney onto the seat in the Jumper while Teyla reached for the first aid kit. Since the first time she'd used it when John Sheppard was attacked by the Iratus Bug, Teyla had become familiar with the instruments and how to use them. She knew McKay was probably suffering from a concussion amongst other things and understood how dangerous head injuries were.

"Rodney, do you have any blurred vision?"

"Some," the Canadian answered honestly.

"Headache?"

"No thanks…already have one," McKay told her.

"Why don't you lie down and close your eyes?" Teyla suggested.

"We need to find Sheppard."

"We will, Rodney, but right now we need to take care of you," Teyla told him and reached for the blanket Ronan held out to her. She quickly covered him to his waist and felt him relax as she touched his forehead. "Sleep, Rodney…"

"So ti…tired," McKay whispered softly before giving to the combination of exhaustion and relief that swept over him.

"We should take him back to Atlantis," Ronan suggested.

"I do not think that would be the wisest choice for Rodney or John. Something tells me when we find John he is going to need Rodney and Rodney will need John."

"There are times when they seem to need each other," Ronan offered.

"They have shown that need from the beginning, yet I do not believe either of them sees it that way," Teyla explained as Lorne and the rest of his team joined them in the jumper.

"Teyla, make sure Rodney's secure," Lorne ordered as he took the pilot's seat. "Hank says they're ready to use the C4."

Teyla quickly secured the Canadian before taking the seat beside Lorne while Ronan took the one directly behind her. It wasn't long before they were flying away from the fortress and the sky lit up with the force of a powerful explosion.

"Brace yourselves for a shockwave!" Lorne ordered. He knew the inertial dampeners would protect them from the worst of it, but anything could happen during an explosion of this magnitude. It lasted for several long minutes, an eternity to those on board the Jumper.

"Is everyone okay?" Teyla was the first to find her voice and was relieved when there seemed to be no new injuries. "Take us back to Suduko's home."

"Are you sure, Teyla?" Lorne asked.

"Yes, I don't think Rodney would want to go back to Atlantis without John," Teyla explained.

"Teyla's right, Major," Ronan said and knew they could easily be endangering McKay's life, but it was a chance he would want them to take and one she hoped would lead them to Colonel John Sheppard.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

John opened his eyes and looked around, but found it hard to concentrate as he tried to bring the room into focus. When his eyes finally adjusted to the dim light, John realized he was alone in Hawk's chambers. The bed was unmade, and empty, and John sat up, searching for his captor, but finding only emptiness as his sole company.

John reached for the chain attached to his collar and was shocked to find it was no longer in place. What was going on? Why had Hawk released him? Was this another test to see if he would make another escape attempt? Hell, yes, but John really didn't give a damn. He had no idea why, but he knew it was part of what made him who he was. Somehow, someway, that would be his saving grace.

John would find his way home, find his friend…find Rodney and when he did that he would be safe and nothing would hurt him if he could just find Rodney. God help him, but he needed Rodney…why? That was a question whose answer evaded him, yet it was the one thing that kept him going. Another name came to him, Carson; yet again he could not remember who he was, or why he was so important to him.

John stood up and shook off the wave of nauseating dizziness that threatened to engulf him. He grabbed for the edge of the bed as his legs bent and managed to stay on his feet. He rubbed at his eyes and waited for things to solidify once more before releasing the bed and staggering toward the door.

John took a deep breath and reached for the handle, amazed when the locking mechanism didn't kick in and the door swung open at his touch. He stood framed in the open doorway as a white light bathed him in a warmth he'd never felt before. It didn't take long for his instincts to kick in and he stepped into the hallway. He knew which way he had to go and straightened his body before leaning against the wall and slowly moving away from the room.

John listened for any sign that he was no longer alone; relieved when there was no sound to indicate his escape had been detected. Instincts kicked in and he stayed to the shadows as if born to stealth and the need to remain undetectable. He had no idea how much time passed since his discovery of being alone, but with each second that ticked by he was certain he would be discovered.

John used his previous experiences to make his way along the corridor and hoped his new memories were as clear as they seemed. There were several branches leading in four different directions and he closed his eyes as he tried to remember which one led to the docking bay. There was no doubt in his mind that he could activate and fly one of the vessels kept there, it was just a matter of reaching the bay and taking one.

John reached the corner of one branch and chanced a quick glance, relieved to find it deserted. He quickly moved into it and slid along the wall as he checked both directions for any sign of life. The hallway was conspicuously absent and he continued along it until he reached the door to the docking bay.

John knew this was it, the turning point in his captivity as his hand reached out for the keypad. God help him, but he hoped he'd been right when he memorized the symbols Hawk had used.

SGASGASGASGASGA

Hawk watched as his captive made his way through the corridors, amazed at how easily he found his way through the maze of tunnels. The man had perfect recall, and that was something he'd counted on, but John was about to fail a test he'd set up and for that he would be punished.

Hawk had been watching his captive from the moment he'd left his chambers in hopes that John would prove him wrong. Somehow he'd thought John would realize he was being given an opportunity to have a little freedom, but instead he was about to ensure his captivity would remain a guarded one. He turned to find Kudrone watching him with sorrow in his eyes.

"Hawk, it will kill him," Kudrone warned.

"He has proven he cannot be trusted, Kudrone, and will be punished for what he's done," Hawk warned as he stood up to leave.

"Wait, Hawk, look!" Kudrone said hopefully.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Something just didn't feel right, and John's hand stopped in midair. His mind slowly wandered back over the events that had taken place in his life since Hawk had purchased him from Shazzia. Was this some kind of test? Was Hawk watching him, waiting for him to make some kind of escape attempt?

John moved his hand back as if burned and stood still for several long seconds. He had the distinct impression he was being watched, being tested and turned away from the door. There would be other times when he could test his instincts, but right now he needed to stay on Hawk's good side until he had a plan. He turned and headed back down the corridor and returned to Hawk's chambers to await his return.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

"Did you see that, Hawk?"

"I saw it, Kudrone," Hawk said softly.

"You should feel good about that…it proves…"

"It proves nothing, Kudrone. The fact that John tried to escape is something he should be punished for."

"What about his decision to return to your quarters? Shouldn't that count for something?"

"It does…it will not get him killed," Hawk snapped. "John will be punished, but he will live to talk about it and he will understand that mistakes get him punished. It is the only way he will learn to…"

"Be your obedient slave, Hawk? Do you really want him to lose his spirit? Isn't that what drew you to him in the first place?"

"Spirit like that can get a man killed."

"Yes, it can, but it's also what keeps a man alive and fighting. He is so much like you…twin spirits."

"Not twin spirits, Kudrone, John is beta to my Alpha."

"Perhaps, but you are more equal than you realize."

"You should remember your place, Kudrone, or you will find your position is not as strong as you think," Hawk warned. "Contact the others and tell them I have something special in mind and would like to meet them in the underground chambers in two cycles."

"You can't mean…"

"It is time I proved to John it is time to bend his stiff neck," Hawk said and abruptly left the room.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

"Rodney…"

"Hmm," the Canadian mumbled, flicking at the hand that touched his cheek.

"Rodney, come on or do I let Ronan carry you inside?" Teyla asked as the man continued to grumble.

"What…no, no, I can walk," McKay said, eyes widening as he felt the Setedan's hand on his arms.

"You sure?" Ronan asked with a grin.

"I'm sure…just give me some clothes," the Canadian ordered.

"Well…see that could be a problem," Lorne teased. "We seem to be all out of anything in your size."

"Major, do not pick on a man when he is down," Teyla said, but couldn't suppress the grin that appeared.

"I wasn't, Teyla, it's the truth. There's nothing here to…"

"Oh, for the love of…"

"Easy, Rodney, I am sure Major Lorne will find you something or give up his own uniform for a man in need," Teyla said.

"Oh, look what I found," Lorne said. "I wonder where that came from."

"Must be the clothes fairy," Rodney spat and grabbed the clothing from the man's hands. "Now would you all mind givin me some privacy?"

"Are you sure, Rodney?" Teyla asked. "I could stay to help you…"

"No, thanks, Teyla, but I can handle it from here," McKay said and waited for the others to leave.

"Call me if you need me, Rodney," Teyla said before joining the others outside the Jumper,

Rodney sat up, ignoring the mounting headache as he pushed the blanket off. He let his mind wander back over the events of the last few months and the disappearance of John Sheppard. The colonel had proven time and again how resilient he was when something happened to one of his team or anyone on Atlantis for that matter. Sheppard was the glue that held them all together and Rodney believed that he could find him; it was just a matter of time.

"Rodney, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Teyla, just give me another minute," McKay answered and finished dressing before moving to the open hatch and stepping out into the bring morning sunshine. He stood where he was, enjoying the intoxicating scents that permeated the area before letting the sorrow wash it all away.

"We'll find him, Rodney."

"I know we will, Teyla, but what if what we find is no longer the man we know?"

"Then we'll simply have to work to bring him all the way back," Teyla told him. She walked at his left side, not surprised when Ronan moved to his right side and they made their way to Suduko's home.

TBC


	24. Chapter 24

Remember, Never to Forget---24

John waited for Hawk's return with a mixture of trepidation and hope. The fact that he'd been allowed to move around without discovery weighed heavily on his mind. What if it hadn't been a test? What if Hawk really did trust him? What if he'd lost his one chance of escape because he'd relied too heavily on his instincts? What if his instincts were wrong? Could he have escaped before Hawk became aware he was missing?

"What are you thinking about, John?"

John jumped at the sound of the voice next to his ear and realized he'd been so deep in thought he hadn't heard the man enter. _'Oh crap,'_ he thought, but managed to hide his emotions. "On my world we say 'a penny for your thoughts," he whispered.

"What is your world, John?"

"I don't remember," John answered honestly.

"For your sake I hope that's true," Hawk told him and watched as his slave fought to control his emotions. "We are going to the underground chambers in two days."

"Why? Is there another storm?"

"No, this will be a special occasion. You and I will be the only fighters," Hawk answered.

"You and me?" John asked incredulously.

"That's correct…"

"Why would I fight you?"

"For Tyrel's freedom," Hawk answered.

"What about my freedom?"

"I will not release you, John…but I give you my word that Tyrel will go free."

"You'll let him go?"

"I will…if you win," the bigger man said.

"And if I lose?"

"When you lose I want your word that you will bend that stiff neck of yours when we are in the presence of others."

"I don't know if I can do that," John spat.

"Not even for your friend's freedom?" Hawk asked and watched as the man stood up and paced back and forth in front of him.

"How do I know you'll keep your word?"

"I am a man of honor, John, and my word is law. If you defeat me Kudrone will see to it that Tyrel is dropped off on his world."

John took a deep breath and turned to look at his captor. Hawk was big and he wasn't sure if accepting his proposal was a foolhardy undertaking, but if it meant setting Tyrel free then John would do his damndest to defeat him. He swallowed several times before answering. "I'll do it."

"Very well…you missed lunch and I am hungry," Hawk said and stood up. "How is the wrist?"

"It's fine."

"Good…perhaps it will give you an advantage when we meet in the arena."

John looked at the cast on his wrist and was shocked that he hadn't even thought about the injury when Hawk made his proposal. Perhaps it would give him a minor advantage, but it would also hurt like hell if he used it. He'd fought through pain before and come out on top, perhaps it would happen again.

"Come, John, we both need to keep our strength up for the coming challenge," Hawk said and led the way to the door.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Rodney brushed at something that landed on his cheek and grumbled incoherently before slowly peeling his eyes open. He frowned at the unfamiliar surroundings and sat up too quickly. His stomach rebelled and he knew he was going to be sick and looked around for anything he could use. A basin on the bedside table was within reach and Rodney felt the burning acid rise in his throat. He heard someone enter the room and felt hands on his back, but could not speak as again and again his body shook with the force of dry heaves.

"Easy, Rodney, you are okay."

"Tey...Teyla?"

"I am here," Teyla said and smiled sympathetically at the ill man.

"What happened…feels like I've been fed on by a whole hive," McKay told her.

"I can see that…you just need to rest. I believe Carson would say you have a concussion," Emmagan explained.

"Where is Carson?"

"He's back on Atlantis. Are you okay?"

"No…no I'm not," McKay told her and lay back on the bed as the room seemed to spin on an unsteady axis. He moaned softly and turned on his side as Teyla gently rubbed her hands on his shoulders. "She got away didn't she?"

"Yes, she did," Teyla answered softly.

"Dammit, she's going to go after Sheppard and there's nothing we can do to stop her."

"We will just have to find him first," the Athosian vowed.

"How long have we been here?"

"We rescued you yesterday…"

"What time is it?"

"Noon...are you hungry?"

"Not right now," McKay answered, his stomach churning uncontrollably. His head hurt worse when he kept his eyes open so he closed them and sighed tiredly.

"Rodney, Kierra made something that will help your headache and stomach," Teyla said.

"More backwoods medicine…I think I'd rather have Carson…"

"Carson is not here, Rodney…do you trust me?"

"Of course I do," McKay answered.

"Then believe me when I tell you there is nothing in this that will harm you. I watched Kierra prepare it and it will help you sleep and feel better," Emmagan explained and smiled when the Canadian reluctantly took a sip of the sweet nectar.

"It's good," Rodney told her. "We're no closer to finding him, Teyla."

"I know, Rodney, but we will. It is just a matter of time…"

"What if time is running out for him? What if…"

"I have heard people say that the 'what if' game never has a winner because there are more 'what ifs' than there are answers. Be strong, Rodney, I promise we will find him," Emmagan said and waited for him to finish the liquid. She knew it would help him sleep and hoped it would be a restful one and not wrought with the nightmares that had plagued him since John Sheppard's disappearance.

"Thank you, Teyla," McKay said and closed his eyes. Images immediately formed as he drifted toward sleep. John Sheppard smiling as the wind ruffled his hair while he stood on one of the high balconies of Atlantis. The sarcastic humor that was often the norm with their friendship, a strange friendship, yet one he would never change. A heavy sigh escaped as he gave in to the sleep his mind and body craved, silently praying John Sheppard was still alive.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Elizabeth Weir stood on the high balcony overlooking the ocean as the waves crashed against the lower levels. A high wind whipped the ocean in a spray that didn't quite reach her, but the scent was unmistakably the same as the salt water on Earth. It gave her a sense of home, but sometimes it also made her homesick.

Her home, God she missed the safety of her world, one untouched by the wraith, at least for now. As a doctor, and an explorer Elizabeth understood that what she did, what they all did when they made that first step through the Stargate was to open up a box, Pandora's Box and they could never close it again. All they could do was keep the world…all worlds safe from the monsters that knew how to travel, but even that was a dream, one that held no certainties.

"A penny for your thoughts."

Elizabeth turned and a half smile appeared as she looked at the man who'd just joined her. "Hello, Carson, how is Major Reid?"

"He's doing better. I'm going to release him in the morning," Beckett said of the man who was his only patient in the infirmary. The man had been injured during a mission to PK3-27 while helping a native family douse a fire that broke out in their treetop home. He'd inhaled a lot of smoke and received minor burns to his hands, but he was expected to make a full recovery.

"That's good to hear," Weir said.

"Aye, that it is…did you hear anything from Major Lorne?"

"Yes, he checked in an hour ago. They were able to rescue Rodney, but Shazzia escaped."

"Is Rodney okay?"

"Lorne said he has a concussion…"

"He should return to Atlantis."

"I know, but you know Rodney as well as I do. He's set on seeing this through."

"So you think they'll find Colonel Sheppard?" Beckett asked softly.

"I don't know, Carson, it's been so long and every time they think they're getting closer something happens. I don't want to lose anyone else," Weir said softly.

"We have to think positive, Elizabeth…John Sheppard would never give up on us and we can't give up on him."

"I'm trying not to, but…" Weir said and knew Beckett understood how she felt. Somehow John Sheppard had become the heart and soul of Atlantis without even realizing it and until he returned a piece of city would grieve right along with them. She shook her head at the thought of giving the city the qualities of a sentient being and wondered if anyone else had ever thought of it that way.

"How long has it been since you've had a decent night sleep, Elizabeth?" Beckett asked softly.

"I don't know Carson…probably before John Sheppard disappeared. It's hard losing people…especially one who's proven how valuable he is to this mission."

"Yes, he is valuable, Elizabeth, but so is everyone else. I could prescribe something to help you sleep."

"No, thank you, Carson, I'd rather not," Weir said and returned her attention to the water hitting the city far below. "Did you know Sheppard loved to hit golf balls up here?"

"Perhaps you should try it," Beckett suggested when he noticed the golf clubs leaning against the wall next to the door.

"I did…it didn't help."

"Perhaps not, but it's keeping hope alive," the physician offered and lifted a club. He placed a ball on the surface and struck it, smiling as it sailed out into the ocean before handing the club to Weir. It felt good, familiar, and he silently prayed he would see Sheppard standing here again.

TBC


	25. Chapter 25

Remember, Never to Forget---25

Shazzia knew she could not hide here indefinitely, but for now she was safe. Domitar would keep her safe; he would make sure no one found her until she had everything she needed. Shazzia looked around the small chamber in disgust, but she understood it was the only way right now. There was no choice until she had a ship, and Domitar was already searching for such a vessel.

Shazzia thought about the man who'd cost her so much and couldn't help but admire the man, but she would not allow herself to feel anything for him no matter how attractive he was. She now knew that John Sheppard was not only a military prisoner, but he was also Atlantian and carried the Ancient Gene. The information had come from an informant she'd placed in Trazdia's inner circle, plus what she'd learned from Dr. Rodney McKay.

Both men would have made perfect concubines, but McKay was off limits for now and under Suduko's protection. Suduko, now there was another male worthy of her attentions, but he'd proven time and again that he would not be anyone's slave. No, she wanted John Sheppard back in her hands, possibly in her bed if she so chose.

Hawk would be a problem, but she'd dealt with men like him before, most were now feeding the Tar'lek on her home planet…they were the lucky ones. The others she'd simply changed into the creatures that served on her ships. Her ships were gone now, destroyed by the explosions on her fortress, the creatures dead and disintegrated, but she could and would start over again.

"Shazzia…"

"Domitar, old friend, tell me you have found me a new ship?"

"Not yet, Shazzia, but I have friends who owe me and it will take a cycle or two before I hear from them. You are safe here…no one knows of my inner sanctuary," Domitar explained.

"I trust you, Domitar, but they are searching for Hawk's fortress and it is only a matter of time before they find him," Shazzia snapped.

"There is nothing you can do to stop that from happening, but perhaps it is for the best."

"What do you mean?"

"Hawk's fortress is as impenetrable as yours was," Domitar said and saw the anger in her eyes. "We have never come across the Atlantians before, Shazzia, and we were not prepared for their attack. You can rebuild your fortress…"

"Perhaps, but I have lost everything…"

"I do not believe that, Shazzia. You are too smart to keep everything in one place. Besides with what I have been protecting for you is enough to rebuild your fortress and still have plenty left over for the finer things in life."

"You know me too well, Old Friend," Shazzia said with a hint of a smile. "Perhaps when I retrieve John Sheppard I will retire from the slavery business."

"I think you would die of boredom."

"I doubt that…then again you never met John and don't know the things I do," Shazzia said. "Did you bring any news on Suduko?"

"He is in the retreat with Trazdia…they returned late last cycle."

"How was he?"

"Angry…that's how I knew you were safe here," Domitar told her.

"His anger will get him killed."

"Do you still care for him?"

"He was a slave…I do not care what happens to him."

"You are a bad liar, Shazzia; I believe Suduko was the first male to ever get through your defenses."

"You overstep the bounds of friendship, Domitar…"

"I have every right to, Shazzia…I am still your father no matter what you have done."

"No one knows of our true relationship…and it will stay that way if you wish to live," the high priestess vowed, but she could tell the elderly man did not fear her, he was the one man who never had and she allowed him to keep that because of who he was.

"I must get back, but I will return when I have arranged for your ship," Domitar told her and left his daughter alone.

Shazzia's thoughts immediately returned to John Sheppard and how he affected her. Domitar was right about Suduko, but he had no idea how much the Atlantian affected her thoughts…and her body. She lay down on the bed and closed her eyes, a smile forming as she pictured the dark haired man lying next to her. It was an image that followed her into her dreams and haunted her during her waking hours.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Suduko watched Rodney McKay and knew the man was still feeling the accumulated affects of his time with Shazzia. His hatred of the woman intensified with the knowledge that she had escaped punishment again. He'd stayed with Trazdia longer than expected, but it was something he needed to cool his growing anger.

"Suduko, I'm sorry," McKay said when he reached the spot overlooking the spectacular valley far below.

"You have no reason to apologize, Dr. McKay," Suduko said, purposefully using the title he hoped would convey the respect he felt for this man, a fellow prisoner who escaped Shazzia's clutches and lived to talk about it.

"I'm sorry she escaped…"

"It is not your fault. Shazzia is always planning for everything and I merely underestimated her. I assure you it will not happen again," Suduko vowed and the two men were quiet for a long time until McKay spoke softly.

"Sheppard would love this…the view…the solitude." The Canadian smiled as he thought of the missing man and his penchant for introducing sports to the Pegasus Galaxy.

"It is beautiful here," Suduko offered.

"Is that why you chose to live here?"

"Yes…after I escaped from Shazzia I needed a sanctuary. That's what this place is for me."

"I can see why and I hope you'll allow us to bring Sheppard here when we fund him," McKay said and smiled slightly. "I believe he would enjoy introducing you to the game of golf although I always enjoyed Mark Twain's description of the sport."

"Who is Mark Twain?"

"A famous American writer," McKay answered.

"American?"

"It simply means he's from the US…a country on my world. I am from Canada…"

"How many countries are there on your world?"

"Sometimes I think there are too many, but my world is pretty diverse and we have many nationalities…even on Atlantis," McKay said. "There are also many languages spoken on each continent."

"What is a continent?"

"It's a land mass. There are seven continents on Earth."

"All of them speak different languages…that must make it hard to communicate."

"Actually there are more languages than there are continents…some countries, mine included have several languages. You should hear them all talking at once when they meet for discussions about trade and policies. It's enough to give a sane man a headache."

"So what did he say?" Suduko asked after the silence stretched between them.

"Who?" McKay asked.

"Mark Twain…"

"He said 'Golf is a good walked spoiled'," McKay said.

"Do you agree with him?"

"Yes…I prefer intellectual games like Chess," the Canadian told him. "It's hard to find anyone who can challenge me on Atlantis…except Zelenka."

"Zelenka?"

"He's smart…smarter than even I care to admit."

"What about Sheppard? Is he smart?"

"He passed the MENSA test…that makes him smarter than most people I know," McKay said. "But he's not just book smart, Suduko, he's street smart…military smart…he knows how to think and plan things so fast he leaves the rest of us behind."

"You admire him…"

"Hell, yes, but I'd never admit that to him," McKay said.

"Why? I thought you were friends."

"We are, but there's more to it than friendship. I don't know how to explain it, but Sheppard and I see things differently. I use brains where he uses brawn…"

"How can you be so sure? Perhaps you are more alike than you think. He is smart and you have already told us how smart you are…"

"I do have a bit of an ego," McKay admitted sheepishly.

"A bit?" Suduko asked with a grin.

"Okay…a big ego, but Sheppard…well he calls me on it and most of the time he's right," McKay said.

"Suduko, Kierra told me I would find you here!" Trazdia said as he hurried toward the two men.

"What's wrong?" McKay asked when he noted the look on the newcomer's face.

"I believe we have news of Hawk's Fortress," Trazdia answered. "It is on one of the smaller planets in the outer rings of Nervula."

"Nervula? Where the hell is that?" McKay asked.

"It is a days' travel from here by one of your jumpers," Suduko explained.

"I'll get Lorne…"

"Wait, Dr. McKay, we need to come up with a plan," Trazdia warned. "If we go in there without one we're all dead and what good does that do your friend."

"Dammit!" the Canadian spat. He knew Trazdia was right, but that didn't put him any closer to finding John Sheppard.

"Doctor…Rodney, get the others and tell them it's time to make a plan," Suduko said. "We'll be there in a couple of minutes."

"All right," McKay said and hurried toward the house.

"Is there any word on Shazzia?" Suduko asked.

"Not much…I've had men watching Domitar's place, but there's been no sign of her. He did manage to give my men the slip early this morning, but they picked him up on the outskirts of the retreat."

"He's hiding her," Suduko snapped.

"I know, but until we can find out exactly where he's hiding here there's nothing we can do…we'll find here, My Friend, and when we do you'll be able to rid yourself of that nightmare once and for all," Trazdia offered.

"I hope so," Suduko said and strode toward his home.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

John knew he had little to no chance of defeating Hawk in hand to hand combat, but he would do his damndest for Tyrel. The young male should have been back on his own world and enjoying his life, instead he'd been sold into slavery. God, he hated that word, hated what it did to a person's soul. He stood up as Kudrone entered the room and wished he could make the man help them, but he seemed loyal to Hawk.

"I need to check your wrist before we leave," Kudrone said.

"My wrist is the least of my worries," John spat.

"You are a fool to agree to this fight."

"Perhaps, but I have to try…for Tyrel and for myself," John vowed as he lifted his right arm and allowed the other man to check the cast.

"Hawk is doing this because he wants you to bow your stiff neck…"

"So he said, but I'm hoping my reasons are stronger," John told him, wincing when the man pressed his fingers beneath the edge of the cast.

"John, you do realize you could do more damage to this wrist by fighting him?"

"Hell, I've been fed on by a wraith…how much worse could fighting Hawk be?"

"A lot worse…he does not like to lose."

"Neither do I," John vowed and wondered if that was a true statement of who he really was. Something told him that he would never back down for a fight, especially when it was something he believed in.

"John, don't be afraid to back out of this one…"

"I can't…Tyrel deserves a chance to go home."

"Not at the cost of your life."

"It won't come to that…Hawk doesn't want me dead," John said with a grin. "He just wants me to bow my stiff neck and I'm just not ready to do that."

"Perhaps it would be best if you did just that before you leave for the underground chambers."

"I can't," John said, relieved when the man stopped probing his wrist and released it. "When do we leave?"

"Hawk wants to leave at first light so I'm guessing it will be an early night tonight. Would you like something to help you sleep?"

"No thanks, I've never had a problem sleeping…the problem comes from the dreams," John said and wondered if Rodney would come to him in his dreams and if he would ever be able to remember those dreams when he woke up.

GWGWGWGWGW

Just wanted to say a special thanks to the people at GateWorld for the wonderful encouragement…thanks guys…..

TBC


	26. Chapter 26

Remember, Never to Forget---26

Rodney McKay listened as the others planned their next move. Teyla and Ronan were familiar with Nervula and were offering several suggestions on how to get past the outer rings.

Nervula's atmosphere was often under terrific storms that spread over every inch of the planets that occupied the outer rings. There were solar storms that created havoc and made some planets unlivable, but there were at least four that could sustain life. Hawk's fortress was located on one of them and that meant John Sheppard was there.

'We'll find you, Sheppard,' McKay thought and rubbed at his temples. The headache he'd been fighting all day could no longer be denied and he knew he was going to be sick.

"Rodney, why don't you go lie down," Teyla suggested.

"I'm okay…"

"No, you're not and you won't be any good to John Sheppard if you don't take care of yourself," Emmagan said sympathetically.

"I don't want to be left out of this," McKay told her.

"You won't be, Rodney, I promise we'll wake you when it's time to leave," Teyla vowed. "You're no good to us…to him the way you are now."

"I hate it when you're right," the Canadian told her.

"I know," the Athosian said with a smile.

Rodney stood up and walked out of the room. He made it to the main living area before his stomach churned and his gut cramped. He felt a hand on his arm and allowed whoever it was to lead him to the room he'd been occupying since arriving at Suduko's home. He sat down on the edge of the bed and knew he was going to be sick. Something was pressed into his hands and he wiped the cool cloth across his sweat soaked brow.

"Just rest…I'll bring you something to make you feel better," Kierra told him.

"Thank you," McKay managed just as his stomach lost its contents into the basin she'd placed in his hands. He lost track of how many times he vomited, but managed to regain control as she came back into the room.

"Drink this…"

"Don't think I can," McKay told her.

"It'll help," Kierra said and waited for him to take it.

"What is it?" the scientist asked of the sweet smelling nectar.

"It is made from many fruits that grow wild in the surrounding forest. They have many healing qualities and act as a sedative for the stomach. It will help you sleep," Kierra assured him.

"I don't want to sleep."

"You need sleep, Dr. McKay."

"I know, but the dreams…"

"Dreams are just reminders of what may have happened, but they are nothing to be afraid of unless you let them," Kierra told him.

"I wish I could believe that, Kierra, but I've seen things that should only come from nightmares," McKay said, but reluctantly drank the fruity beverage.

"The nightmares are just that…don't let them follow you when you awake."

"That's easier said than done," the Canadian said and closed his eyes. He felt the calming effects of the drink and pulled the blanket up over his body as sleep dragged him under. _'We're coming, John,'_ he thought and hoped the man could sense them drawing closer. The nightmares started immediately and a soft whimper escaped, but Kierra had already left the room.

"_Blow it!" Sheppard managed, blood spilling from his mouth and running down his chin._

"_No…Teyla, shoot the bastard!" McKay screamed._

"_I can't without killing him!" Teyla snapped._

"_Blow it! God Damn you, McKay, blow it now!"_

"_Sheppard…"_

"_Rodney, you have to!" Teyla said as more and more of the creatures came from the back of the craft. _

"_McKay…please…just do it," Sheppard said and Rodney watched as the bulbous fixture he thought was a mouth formed into a cone that ended in a point aimed directly at Sheppard's left eye. He could hear the screams and could only imagine the pain that shot through Sheppard's body and knew the colonel was dying as his own hand pressed down on the detonator. _

"_Rodney…"_

"_I know damn it!" McKay spat, unshed tears in his eyes as he watched the creature slowly feed on his friend. "God forgive me!"_

_Rodney could feel the despair sweeping through him, sucking the air from his lungs and the strength fm his body._

"_Oh, God, I killed him," Rodney McKay struggled with his guilt as the darkness reached out and dragged him under._

"No!" McKay screamed and sat upright in the bed. He reached for the basin as his body was wracked by dry heaves that left him weak and shaken. He slid his legs over the edge of the bed and stared at the floor as the nightmare replayed in his mind. He saw the hideous creature with bulbous mouth and too many arms as it fed on John Sheppard, sucking the life from him in the same grotesque manner as the Wraith they'd encountered.

Rodney ran his fingers through his disheveled hair and let the sorrow and pain wash over him. Every time he closed his eyes he saw John Sheppard's face just before he sent him to hell. Rodney knew now that John wasn't dead, but he was still in hell, one that Rodney McKay had delivered him into. The long months of guilt could not be washed away, not until John was back on Atlantis where he belonged.

Rodney looked up at the sound of footsteps and wasn't surprised to find Ronan Dex standing in the partially open doorway. The big Satedan had easily fit into Sheppard's team and even Rodney admitted that he admired the man's quiet strength. Dex stepped through the door without a word and sat on the bed next to him. Neither man found it necessary to speak, but they both knew it was time to find John Sheppard and bring him home. Atlantis needed him, they needed him.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

John sat back as Hawk maneuvered the ship low over the trees. He knew they'd soon be at the underground chambers and that there were several of Hawk's closest acquaintances meeting them there. He had no doubt that today would end badly for him, but if he could defeat his captor in the arena, at least Tyrel would be freed of a life of slavery. Maybe someone would take pity on him when he won and insist Hawk grant his freedom, but somehow he knew that would not be the case. His life meant nothing now, but there was a strength born of determination and he sat forward as they neared their destination.

"What are you thinking about, John?"

"Tyrel's freedom," John answered simply and heard the other man chuckle.

"Do you really think you can defeat me?"

"I have to," John vowed.

"I wish I could allow that, John, but too much is riding on this and I have already arranged for Tyrel to go into battle. When he defeats his challenger Tyrel will be auctioned off to the highest bidder…"

"You bastard!" John spat.

"You're the only one who can stop that from happening, John, but we both know it's not possible. By the end of the day you will bow that stiff neck and admit that I am your master in every way possible. Perhaps I will allow you to conduct the auction for Tyrel as proof that I own you…"

"Go to hell!" John snarled and turned his attention to the front of the craft as it dropped lower toward the entrance to the underground chambers. Instincts told him that his life, the one he had no recollection of, would give him something of an advantage if he could just draw on his training. He could hear Hawk talking to him, but he tried to draw on the strength he felt hidden in his subconscious, but flashes of creatures so hideous they revolted him made him shudder uncontrollably for several agonizing seconds.

"John…"

"I won't let you win, Hawk," he stated flatly and saw a change in Hawk's features.

"I can't allow you to defeat me, John," the bigger man vowed as the craft entered the opening and he expertly maneuvered it through the narrow corridor toward the docking station.

"I guess we'll soon find out who has the stronger conviction," John whispered and stared at Hawk defiantly.

"No, we'll soon find out who is the stringer man…convictions don't mean anything in hand to hand combat," Hawk told him as the craft came to a stop. There were several others already in place and Hawk frowned when he turned to look at the man in the next seat. There was something about his eyes that spoke of a quiet strength and some part of him realized John's convictions just might be his downfall. No, he could not even entertain that idea…John may be strong, but he was stronger and it was impossible to even entertain the idea that he might lose.

"How many of your friends are here?"

"Only a select few, but don't worry, they know about our wager and they will not interfere," Hawk told him.

"Tyrel goes free?"

"Only if you defeat me, John."

"I will…I have to!" John vowed as the other man completed docking procedures and they exited the ship. The corridor was deserted and cold seeped through his bones as they walked toward the living quarters. The lights came on as if they worked on sensors and he could feel the darkness being pushed back as if he was going on display.

"We will go home as soon as we're done here," Hawk told him.

"Hawk, it's good to see you again, but why the sudden need for games in the cages?"

"This is not one of our public games, Syngy," Hawk told her. "Today there will only be one challenge…"

"You and John," Syngy stated delighted at the prospect of watching such a fight.

"John is fighting for freedom…"

"You are willing to let him go if he wins?" Piatra asked from behind Syngy.

"No, John is and always will be my property, but if he defeats me today then Tyrel will be free to return to his home world," Hawk explained.

"You are willing to free such a champion?" Piatra asked.

"I am…"

"Perhaps I can entice you into selling him to me…"

"No, Tyrel goes free…you promised, Hawk!" John snapped.

"Yes, I did and Tyrel will be freed and no one and I mean no one is to touch him," Hawk vowed.

"You let a slave dictate terms?" Syngy asked in disgust.

"No, I offered him a chance to fight for something he believes in."

"What do you get when you defeat John?" Piatra asked.

"He will call me master and bow his stiff neck," Hawk answered as they reached the cages. "Are the others inside?"

"Yes, they arrived just after we did," Syngy answered.

"How many did you invite?" John asked.

"There are ten including Piatra and Syngy, and they know I will not tolerate any interference. If you defeat me Tyrel will go free," Hawk answered.

"When?"

"As soon as we reach my fortress I will have Kudrone assign a pilot to take him home," Hawk vowed. "Come, John, your destiny waits."

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

"How long will the trip to Nervula take?" McKay asked, wishing he had Atlantis' equipment at hand, but all they had was what they'd brought with them in the Jumpers. They could easily calibrate the data they had, but it wasn't enough because Nervula wasn't in the star system programmed into Atlantis or the Jumpers.

"It will take at least two cycles to reach the out rim," Trazdia answered. They were gathered around the table in Kierra's kitchen going over plans to attack a fortress they knew little to nothing about.

"We're going to need to find out everything we can about Hawk's fortress before we attempt to rescue your friend," Suduko explained.

"We can use the Jumper's sensors as long as he doesn't have any kind of jamming device," Lorne answered.

"From what we do know Hawk believes his fortress is impregnable, especially with the storms that rage through the outer rings," Trazdia offered.

"Overconfidence can get you killed," Wallace observed.

"In this case he doesn't need to be overconfident," Trazdia told them. "I have heard stories about the fortress and the underground chambers…"

"Underground chambers?" McKay asked.

"It is rumored that Hawk conducts fights there and only invites people he has an alliance with," Suduko offered.

"Do you know anyone who has an alliance with him, but does not consider him a friend and therefore has no loyalty to him?" Teyla asked.

"Perhaps," Trazdia said thoughtfully rubbing the beard on his chin. "Suduko, do you still have contact with Shariel?"

"I have spoken with her on occasion," Suduko answered.

"Do you think you could entice her to invite you along on her next trip to Hawk's fortress?" Trazdia asked.

"I believe she would allow me to accompany her…"

"You and your entourage," Trazdia said.

"My entourage?" Suduko asked.

"Of course…don't you remember how we duped her into letting us travel with her to Calaros?"

"She was rather impressed with my royal servants," Suduko chuckled softly.

"Exactly…if we can get her to invite you along then maybe we'll be able to get the upper hand for a change," Trazdia explained.

"She only travels there when Hawk is setting up a challenge during the solar storms," Corbone said. He'd listened to the plans without speaking, but there were things he knew that could make this assault on Hawk's fortress easier. Perhaps if they did rescue John Sheppard his true loyalty would not be questioned.

"How often do these Solar Storms happen?" McKay asked.

"They are quite frequent," Trazdia answered. "That is probably the reason he chose Nervula. Those storms can tear a ship apart, but something tells me your Puddle Jumpers would sail right through."

"The inertial dampeners would help," Lorne observed.

"How long before we leave?" Ronan asked.

"It will take some time to contact Shariel," Suduko told them.

"We need to leave as soon as possible," McKay told them.

"Rodney, we need to have a plan," Teyla explained and placed a hand on McKay's arm. "We'll have a better chance of getting John back if we do."

"I know," the Canadian reluctantly agreed.

Corbone listened to the plans and knew Domitar would pay well for the information he now possessed. He knew he would be considered a traitor if anyone found out, but better a rich traitor than a poor dead man.

"Rodney, you should try and rest," Teyla said as the others got up to leave.

"I will, Teyla, but I can't help wondering what Sheppard is doing right now," McKay offered and walked outside. He stood staring up at the stars high overhead and could almost hear Sheppard call to him_. 'We're coming, Sheppard…I'm coming,'_ he silently vowed.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Hawk felt a thrill run through him as he looked at the man standing before him. John looked like a warrior in spite of everything he'd been through. There was no doubt in his mind that his 'slave' could defeat most opponents, but there was no way the captive could possibly beat the captor. John's hair had grown longer and hung low over his forehead, stopping just above his eyes. Eyes that were dark with a mixture of anger and confidence that would have made a normal man back down, but Hawk didn't consider himself a normal man. By the end of the day, John would realize the alpha male always won.

John felt a chill race along his spine as he looked at his opponent. Hawk's eyes sparkled with mirth as if he found this funny, but John knew that was far from the truth. He felt the others watching them and felt as if he was on display as Hawk slowly circled him. John knew the big man was fast, but he drew on something that seemed to be part instinct and part ingrained training. As Hawk moved to grab him, John ducked beneath his outstretched arms and drove upward with his elbow, catching his nemesis beneath the lower ribs.

John turned as Hawk regained his momentum and smiled at the look of surprise on the man's face. He lashed out with his right foot, but did not finish the move as he turned and expertly drove his right elbow into his opponent's abdomen. The move took him close to Hawk and he gasped when the big man struck him viciously across the lower back. He struggled to his feet and realized Hawk was not holding back this time. The man was out for blood…his blood, but two could play at this game and he planned to be the victor once the blood was spilled and the challenge answered.

Hawk moved quickly as John slapped his arm away with a flick of the wrist that managed to send shockwaves the length of his arm. He turned and lashed out with his foot, catching his 'slave' just below the knee before turning and driving his fist toward John's face. The man was fast, but not quite fast enough to escape the attack completely and his head snapped back as it caught him on the chin. Blood and sputum flew from John's mouth as his teeth cut the inside of his cheek, but John managed to stay on his feet and the combatants circled one another as the spectators watched excitedly.

Piatra sat on the edge of her seat and threaded her finger through the wires of the cage. She couldn't help, but admire both men, but there was something about John that set her insides on fire. She found herself hoping the smaller man could defeat Hawk just to see the look on his face as he stood over Hawk. She winced when Hawk sent John backward with a kick to the ribs, but John managed to stay on his feet and met the man's next attack with a flurry of fists to the face and abdomen. His moves were expertly placed and there was no doubt that Hawk felt each one, but it wasn't long before he turned things around and delivered a series of blows to John's face and chest that staggered the smaller man and drove him against the side of the cage.

John ducked as Hawk moved closer and spun around until he was face to face with his enemy. He spat a mouthful of blood on the floor, his chest heaving as he fought to draw air into his lungs. He didn't bother to speak as he tried to stay out of the big man's reach and was rewarded when Hawk moved and a grimace formed on his face. He knew he'd done some damage, but it wasn't nearly enough to put the man down for good. Hawk feigned right, but quickly changed direction and came at him from the left. His fist connected solidly with exposed ribs and John backed away, breathing through a ring of fire that engulfed the left side of his chest.

Syngy watched the fight with more than a little interest as the combatants circled each other, landing blows as they sought the upper hand. He winced sympathetically as Hawk landed a devastating fist to John's midsection, following up with one to the face that sent John flying across the room. It shocked him when the smaller man climbed shakily to his hands and knees and finally managed to regain his feet as Hawk moved in again. He nodded appreciatively when John used Hawk own momentum and slammed his body into the cage.

"That is going to leave a mark," Piatra observed.

"Yes, it is," Syngy agreed as he continued to watch the battle.

John had no idea how he managed to get to his feet let alone grab Hawk's outstretched arm and slam him into the cage. He pressed the advantage and slammed a double fist down on his opponent's back, sending him to the floor. Again he moved forward, grabbing Hawk's hair and slamming his face into the dirt as cheers and jeers sounded from those present. John fought as if his life depended on the outcome and knew he was fighting for Tyrel's freedom. There was no way he would contemplate defeat, not when victory meant so much to a young man from Glione's clan. No matter how beaten down he was, John would be triumphant. His body ached, but he was beyond feeling the pain now as Hawk managed to escape his hold and turn the attack in his favor.

John sucked air through clenched teeth as Hawk landed a blow to his right side, and a fist connected with the left side of his face. Again and again he felt the fists of steel strike his body and he dropped to his knees as he was hit repeatedly in the chest, abdomen, and face. He climbed to his feet and lost his footing as Hawk kicked him in the left leg, just below the knee. He cried out, but refused to quit as blood flowed from a cut above his right eyes. He blinked in an effort to clear his vision and ducked beneath Hawk's fist, and brought his own up into his foe's gut. He dropped to his knee and repeated the motion, driving his left fist under Hawk's ribs. John knew he could not let up as Hawk dropped to his knees.

Hawk shook his head in an effort to clear his vision, but he knew he'd underestimated his 'slave' as John's double fist struck him in the temple and sent him sideways onto the ground. He coughed up a thick wad of blood and spit it out as John's booted foot caught him under the chin and stars sparked across his vision. He tried to get to his hands and knees but something collided with his skull and he dropped back to the ground.

John knew he was done…there was just no way he could continue and remain on his feet. He staggered backward, shocked when Hawk's body remained as it was. The bigger man didn't move and John heard shouts of approval and several offers to buy him, but he could no longer stand on his own two feet. He dropped heavily to his knees, fighting to stay conscious as a wave of nauseating pain washed over him. He felt blood trickling down his face and swiped it away from his eyes as he stared at his 'owner'. There was no doubt that Hawk was unconscious, but did that mean he won? What if the man came to while he was unconscious? Would he still honor their agreement?

"I be…beat y…you," John whispered just as a dark cloak wrapped around him and he pitched forward on his face.

TBC


	27. Chapter 27

Remember, Never to Forget---27

Corbone hurried toward Domitar's place of business and looked around before entering the dull interior. He saw the elderly man seated at the counter with the stump of a foul smelling cigar in the corner of his mouth.

"Tell me you have some news for me, Corbone."

"I have news, but it will cost you."

"How much do you want?"

"20 Shoclaws," Corbone answered hopefully.

"It had better be worth it," Domitar warned.

"I have news of Suduko's plans for rescuing John Sheppard."

"Start talking," the elderly man said and counted out the currency.

"They will be using Puddle Jumpers provided by the Atlantians to travel to Nervula."

"That still does not explain how they will get to Hawk's fortress."

"They don't plan on attacking his fortress. They plan on asking Shariel to allow them to accompany her when Hawk sends out his invitations to the next series of fights," Corbone explained.

"Do they really think they can rescue Sheppard from the underground chambers?"

"They think they'll have the upper hand because of the Puddle Jumpers. They can make them invisible and fly in with Shariel's ship."

"Invisible Puddle Jumpers? That sounds like something out of a child's fantasy," Domitar said.

"They are real…I've seen them," Corbone told him.

"I would pay highly if you bring one to me."

"I wish I could, but the Atlantians are the only ones with the ability to fly them."

"How do you know this?"

"I have seen them and know how they operate," Corbone answered.

"Could this John Sheppard fly one?"

"I believe so, but I cannot be sure."

"You will be well rewarded if we manage to get John Sheppard and a Puddle Jumper. Shazzia will see to that."

"Thank you, Domitar…I will do everything I can to help you and Her Highness," Corbone said, pocketing the Shoclaws before leaving the elderly man alone.

"You heard?"

"I did, and this makes it even more important that we find John Sheppard. Imagine how easy it would be to defeat our enemies if we could get a Puddle Jumper and John Sheppard to fly it. I knew he was special, and this proves how right I was."

"You must stay in hiding until we are ready, Shazzia."

"I will…at least for now," the woman said and disappeared back into the shadows.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Hawk opened his eyes and looked around as he sat forward. It took several minutes to orient himself and remember where he was and why his body ached in more places than he could ever remember hurting before. He rubbed at his face and realized he was no longer in the underground chambers as his eyes focused on the man seated across the room.

"Welcome back, Hawk."

"Where is he, Kudrone?" Hawk snarled.

"He is in the infirmary, Hawk."

"I did not give permission…"

"He's not like you, Hawk. His body does not have the ability to heal itself when the wounds are severe," Kudrone warned.

"Then you should have treated him here."

"His wounds required more."

"Then I beat him?"

"Yes, you beat him, but not before he defeated you. Are you going to honor your promise to release Tyrel?"

"That promise is no longer in effect…"

"Hawk, are you a man of honor?"

"You dare to ask me that, Kudrone?"

"Your reputation is built on your word, My Friend, and you invited several people to attend this challenge. They all saw your defeat at John's hands and if you go back on your word then you will lose face with them."

"Damn you, Kudrone," Hawk warned and raised his hand to the other man before slamming it into the wall beside his bed.

"I take it you will be returning Tyrel to his world?"

"Have him transported on the next merchant vessel," Hawk ordered and reached for his clothing.

"You should rest."

"I will rest once I see a certain slave and show him I am a man of honor and…"

"Hawk, John is in bad shape and I must remind you that this fight was your idea."

"I cannot allow him to believe he is stronger than I…I may have underestimated him once, but it will not happen again. He will be punished…"

"For defeating you in a one on one challenge?"

"Silence, Kudrone, I remind you that you are still my property and I will punish you if the need arises," Hawk vowed.

"I…you have always allowed me to speak freely, Hawk…"

"Yes, I have and you would do well not to do anything to make me rethink that decision," Hawk warned, pulling on his robe and making his way to the door. "Perhaps you should wait here."

"No, I think I should come with you in case you lose your temper with John. I was serious when I told you that he is badly injured."

"Tell me what injuries he sustained," Hawk said as they left the room.

"Several broken ribs, concussion, not to mention the damage he did to his wrist because he used it before it was completely healed. I had to set those bones again," Kudrone told him.

"That hardly sounds serious," Hawk offered.

"Not to you, but John's been through so much that his body is worn down. He needs to be given time to heal," Kudrone told him.

"He must be punished for putting me in this position."

"You mean he must be punished for proving he is alpha…"

Hawk reacted on instincts and grabbed the other man around the throat, lifting him off his feet and pressing him against the cold wall. He snarled, baring his teeth as leaned in closer and breathed through his nostrils. "I will not warn you again, Kudrone! From now on you will call me Master Hawk and you will remember your place with me! I will not allow you to speak to me like that ever again! Do you understand me now?"

"Yes…"

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, Master Hawk!" Kudrone managed, breathing heavily once the bigger man released him.

"Don't ever make the mistake of thinking you are above my other slaves, Kudrone," Hawk warned, striding toward the infirmary. He shoved open the door and stepped inside. Of the four beds only one was occupied and he walked slowly toward it, studying the pale, but battered features. John's eyes were closed and his head was turned slightly to the left, his right leg was drawn up, while the left was bent slightly at the knee. The right wrist was once again encased in a brace that would keep it from any new damage, while bruises were visible above the blanket that covered him to the waist.

"He needs time to rest and heal," Kudrone said, unconsciously rubbing his bruised throat.

"He needs to be taught who owns him."

"Haven't you learned anything…"

"You've been warned, Kudrone," Hawk snapped and turned on his heels to face the other man. "John is my property and as such he is mine to do as I wish. He is to sleep in my quarters tonight…"

"He needs to be treated…his wounds are severe…"

"That does not matter. Bring him to my chambers and treat him there!"

"Yes, Master," Kudrone said the words with utter distaste as he moved to the bed. "John, it's time to wake up."

"Carson?" John whispered the word reverently and forced heavy lids to lift. There were two figures, both blurred and unrecognizable until he blinked several times and brought them into focus.

"John, why do I get the feeling that your memory is coming back?" Hawk asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Hawk," John answered and looked around before letting his eyes come to rest on the bigger man. "Did you keep your promise?"

"What promise?"

"I beat you, Hawk…you promised to return Tyrel to his home," John snapped.

"He will be returned on the next Merchant vessel," Hawk told him. "You will be returned to my chambers immediately."

"Hawk…"

"Silence, Kudrone!" Hawk snarled and saw the man cringe and move back. He returned his attention to the man in the bed and motioned toward the equipment. "You may have defeated me this time, John, but it is you who has the greater wounds."

"You were out cold, Hawk," John said tiredly.

"Yes, but I am on my feet while you take to the sick bed like a woman."

"Teyla'd tear you apart if she heard you say that," John told him.

"Who is Teyla?"

"I don't remember…she's someone I used to know…I think," John answered honestly.

"John, I warned you that if I find out you're lying to me I will punish you…"

"That seems to be your answer for everything," John snapped and tried to sit up, wincing when the movement reawakened the pain of broken ribs.

"When it comes to my property it is often the only answer," Hawk said. "Kudrone, remove the equipment and make sure John has something to wear or he will walk naked through the corridors."

"I'm sorry, John," Kudrone said and removed the IV line that was feeding pain medication into the injured man's arm. "Hawk…"

"Did you forget already, Kudrone?"

"No, Master Hawk," Kudrone snapped. "The pain medication is all that's keeping him from feeling everything you did to him and once it wears off he will…"

"Perhaps that is not such a bad thing," Hawk said as he studied the pale Atlantian. "Pain is a good reminder that you may have won the battle, but you lost the war."

"Hawk…"

"Silence, Kudrone, give him a new set of slave clothing and we will be on our way," the bigger man snapped.

John accepted the plain white shirt and dark pants and ignored the two men as he slid his legs over the edge of the bed. He winced as he pulled on the clothing and stood on shaky legs, searching for something to put on his feet. Kudrone handed him a pair of simple shoes that he slipped on his feet.

"Where is his collar?"

"I removed it…"

"You had no right…"

"He was having trouble breathing and I had to make a decision because you were unconscious," Kudrone explained.

"Where is it?"

"I…I'll get it," Kudrone offered, reluctantly reaching into his desk and retrieving the collar.

John could only stand his ground as Hawk placed the hated collar around his neck and he heard the locking mechanism engage, once more marking him as property. He could see the spark of anger on Kudrone's face, but shook his head before turning toward Hawk and staring into his eyes.

"I see you still have a lot to learn," Hawk warned.

John smiled cockily as he looked at the man who stood in front of him. He knew he'd been lucky in defeating Hawk, but he'd also been able to draw on something from his memory.

"John, you were lucky and I promise your luck has run out," Hawk vowed.

"I had a friend once who said 'lucky is good'," John told him.

"Perhaps, but luck has a way of running out. I underestimated you once…it will not happen again. Come, we will discuss your punishment for…"

"For what? Defeating you in front of your friends?" John asked, a hint of a smile on his face as he turned and walked toward the door.

Kudrone hid a smile as the Atlantian strode purposefully toward the door and admired the man for being able to get under Hawk's skin. The more he saw the two men together, the harder it was to fight his instincts to help John escape before Hawk physically and mentally broke him. John's spirit was strong, but Hawk did not care about that, all he cared about was bending the Atlantian's stiff neck.

"John!"

Hawk's voice was barely above a whisper, but Kudrone knew and understood what it meant for the 'slave'. He saw the rage in the bigger man's eyes and wished he could protect the Atlantian, but there was nothing more he could do aside from laying down his own life. He was not prepared to do that and moved aside as Hawk reached for his property.

John knew he'd gone too far as Hawk's hand clamped down on his shoulder and jolted him to a stop. He felt a vicious tug and turned to defiantly face his 'owner'. He knew he'd been lucky to defeat Hawk once, but there was no way he could beat him now. A part of him wanted to bow to this man, but another part, the part that made him who he was would not allow him to do that. He stood his ground and stared up into the rage filled face as Hawk lifted him off his feet.

"You will never turn your back on me again, Slave!"

"Go to hell!" John cried out as his body was slammed up against the wall and it felt like daggers were pressed into his chest. He knew he'd gone too far, but somehow he understood that was who he was and to do anything less would be denying the memories hidden just out of his reach. He could have sworn he heard someone scream and darkness reached for him just as he realized it came from deep in his throat.

"Hawk, you're going to kill him!" Kudrone said, grabbing the bigger man's arm in spite of the danger. John hung limp in Hawk's arms and his skin had an almost translucent quality that spoke of impending death.

Hawk knew Kudrone was right as the temper that raged within eased and he looked at the slave who seemed so lifeless compared to the man who'd defied him moments before. He gently changed the limp body's position so that John was cradled in his arms before he turned to Kudrone. "You will bring whatever is necessary to treat him to my chambers."

"Hawk, he needs…"

"Silence, Kudrone, Do as I say!"

"Yes, Master Hawk," Kudrone said and hurried to gather what he thought he would need and prayed it was enough.

TBC


	28. Chapter 28

Remember, Never to Forget---28

Rodney McKay was not a happy man, but there was nothing he could do about the delay. He knew Teyla was right in that they needed a plan, yet he couldn't help thinking they were wasting valuable time…time John Sheppard didn't have. Rodney turned from the open window as footsteps sounded behind him and sighed tiredly.

"Suduko made contact with Shariel," Ronan Dex.

"Will she take us with her?"

"Only if we're part of her entourage…"

"You mean her harem," McKay spat distastefully.

"I don't know what a harem is, McKay, but it don't sound good."

"It's not…although there are some who view it as a fantasy," the Canadian told him. "When do we leave?"

"Shariel said there's another solar storm coming…probably in the next 48 hours," the Setedan answered.

"Sheppard might not have 48 hours, Ronan," McKay said softly.

"Sheppard's strong…he's a survivor like you," Dex offered.

"I'm not a survivor, Ronan, I'm a follower. Haven't you noticed I like to hide behind the guys with the big guns?"

"At one time maybe, but lately you've been sticking your head out a little more. You've changed, McKay," Ronan assured him.

"I wish I could believe that, Ronan, but I…"

"Believe it…Sheppard chose his team…he chose them wisely," Dex said as Teyla joined them.

"Suduko is back and Shariel wishes to meet with us," Teyla said.

"Is she here?" McKay asked.

"Yes, she is," Teyla answered and led the two men out of the room.

Rodney's eyes grew wide when he found himself face to face with the most exotically beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Long strands of shimmering silver and gold hair hung down to her waist, her skin held a golden cast, while her eyes were silver grey set in a soft face. She was slightly taller than Teyla and had a softness to her that belied the strength that shone in her eyes as she studied the newcomers.

"If these two are any indication of the males you call allies I believe I need to moe to your world," Shariel said, licking her lips hungrily.

"Shariel, these are my friends Teyla Emmagan, Dr. Rodney McKay, and Ronan Dex," Suduko made the introductions as the newcomer eyed the two men.

"Perhaps I could persuade you to sell them to me…"

"Not for sale!" the Setedan spat.

"Slavery was abolished on my world a long time ago!" McKay said.

"Too bad…you would bring many riches," Shariel told him, running her hand across his chest. "There is much I could teach you."

"I just bet there is," the Canadian said and pulled away from her as memories of his time with Shazzia made him cringe at her touch. He shuddered as she stepped closer, but found Teyla blocking her way.

"Is he yours?" Shariel asked.

"He is with me…they both are," Emmagan said, relieved that Lorne and the others were not present. She knew this woman would see it as an affront for her to have so many virile males with her.

"Very well…Suduko tells me you wish to attend one of Hawk's solar storm challenges," Shariel said.

"That is correct…he is holding a friend and we wish to bring him home." Teyla knew she needed to be honest with this woman and saw the silver grey eyes brighten at her disclosure.

"This friend…does he have a name?"

"He does…his name is John Sheppard," Ronan told her.

"I know he has a slave he keeps close at his side and they were recently fighting in the underground chambers. I believe the slave…John defeated Hawk…"

"Is he…did he get away?" Rodney asked hopefully.

"No, he was fighting for another man's freedom. Tyrel of Glione was returned to his world."

"Tyrel of Glione?" McKay asked.

"He is a young male purchased at the same auction as John," Shariel explained.

"You people really need to realize people are not property to be bought and sold on a whim!" the Canadian snarled.

"Who are you to judge me?" Shariel asked angrily.

"A free man who's seen the people of his world rise above this type of behavior," McKay answered.

"Must I remind you that it is you who came to me for help?"

"No, you don't," McKay grumbled.

"Rodney, perhaps it would be best if you helped Major Lorne with the Jumper," Teyla suggested when she noticed the woman's eyes were darkening in anger.

"I…"

"Rodney," the Athosian said and motioned for the other man to leave, relieved when he finally stormed away.

"Is he always so…"

"When it involves his friends…yes, he is," Teyla told her.

"Walk with me, Teyla," Shariel said and waited for the other woman to follow her. "This man John means a lot to you?"

"Yes, he does."

"He is more than a friend?"

"He is like family…"

"I sense that is only partially true, but it is enough for now. If I allow you and your people to accompany me to Hawk's world then I want something in return."

"As long as it does not involve slavery," Teyla told her.

"No, at least not directly, but Hawk has a friend…"

"A friend?" Teyla asked.

"He is more than a friend and Hawk refuses to release him," Shariel explained. "If I help you get inside Hawk's compound then I would expect you to help me acquire…"

"Is he a friend or property, Shariel?"

"He is a friend…a very close friend who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Hawk purchased him many cycles ago at a time when I did not have the means to acquire him."

"How do we know this friend is there?"

"Kudrone is many things. He is a scientist…a healer…and an expert in Ancient technology…"

"What do you know of the Ancients?" Emmagan asked.

"I know they were a strong race, but could not defeat the Wraith. There are stories amongst my people that tell of the Ancients not being from one of our worlds," Shariel offered. "It is said that they returned to their world when the Wraith all but destroyed them."

"If it is possible to rescue Kudrone will he be free or will he become a slave to you?"

"Kudrone was never my slave…he was my consort and my heart has lacked the warmth of his touch."

"I will help in any way I can," Teyla vowed and understood that this woman was not as deadly as her reputation made her out to be.

"That is all I ask," Shariel said.

"Do you know when the next challenges will take place?"

"In three day's time, but we will leave later today in order to beat the storm itself. The challenges are in underground chambers in the mountains and if Hawk stays true to form then Kudrone and John will both be in attendance. We must come up with a plan to rescue them before Hawk becomes away of our plan," Shariel told her as they headed back to the house.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

John became aware of voices talking nearby, but remained still as he tried to make sense of what they were saying. It was hard to concentrate when it felt as if his head was mired in thick mud while his body nearly screamed with pain and fatigue. He opened his eyes to half mast and felt as if he'd been gut punched when he recognized the room. Somehow he'd known he' find himself back in Hawk's quarters, but a small part of him hoped Kudrone had been able to convince his 'master' that he belonged in his care.

"You have slept long enough, John. It is time to get ready."

Hawk's voice came from just over his right shoulder and John knew it was useless to pretend any longer. He slowly sat forward and slid his legs over the edge of the, biting back a sharp cry as the movement tugged at battered ribs. "Get ready for what?" he finally managed.

"A new series of solar storms will hit the mountain in two days," Hawk explained.

"Oh crap," John snapped understanding what those words meant.

"I do believe I am short one fighter…"

"Tyrel?"

"Exactly…he was returned to his world while you were unconscious, but as I said that leaves me one fighter short," Hawk said with a grin as Kudrone's eyes grew wide.

"Hawk, you can't be serious!" Kudrone snapped.

"I am deadly serious, Kudrone," Hawk said. "John has proven he can fight and…"

"What of his injuries? He will die if you out him in there!"

"It will not come to that, but you have two days to get him ready for the challenge," Hawk told Kudrone.

"Two weeks isn't long enough, Hawk…"

"You are forgetting yourself again, Kudrone," the bigger man warned and savagely grabbed Kudrone by the arm. "I will not have you speak to me like that again or you will find yourself fighting at his side!"

"I'll make it, Kudrone," John vowed, hiding just how much pain he was in.

"I do believe you will, John," Hawk said as he released the other man. "We leave in four hours so make sure you have the proper supplies, Kudrone!"

"Hawk…"

"You are wasting time, Kudrone," Hawk warned and watched as the other man stormed out of the room before turning his attention to the man seated on the bed. "You will fight, John…"

"What if I refuse?"

"Then Kudrone will take your place and I assure you he is not a fighter, but a healer. He would not last five minutes," Hawk told him.

"You're a real bastard, Hawk," John spat.

"I expect you to fight your opponent just as hard as you fought me," the bigger man warned. He studied the pale features and saw a depth of hatred he'd never seen before and knew this man would kill him if given the chance. He wondered what it would be like to have this man fight by his side, but that was not part of his plans.

John turned away, but his dislike for Hawk raged inside him and he hoped that someday he would truly have the chance to be rid of the man. He closed his eyes as it felt like shards of glass were piercing his skull, and images flashed across his mind. Pain in his chest as something fed on him, a friendly face smiling as long hair blew in the wind, and a worried and heavily laden accented voice spoke to him. A tall tower, a soft breeze, waves crashing against something far below, a friendly, laughter filled voice carried on the wind.

John moaned and grabbed at his head as the memories seemed to run into one another and left him feeling more lost and alone than he'd ever felt before. His gut churned as he struggled with the intensity and speed of the changing scenes of his life and he gasped for air as his body jerked spasmodically. Darkness wavered at the edge of the visions and he welcomed its cold embrace in hopes of escaping the agony twisting through his mind.

Hawk caught his 'property' as John cried out and grabbed at his head. He laid him gently back on the bed and watched the chest rise and fall, relieved that the man seemed only unconscious as Kudrone returned.

"What happened?" Kudrone asked worriedly.

"I believe John's memory is returning," Hawk answered.

"That's good…"

"No, I do not believe it is," Hawk told him. "John has a stubborn streak and if his memory returns he will be harder to handle."

"Why not release him?"

"I do not release my property, Kudrone, you should know that by now," Hawk said, noting the sweat soaked hair plastered to his 'slaves' forehead.

"You could break him…"

"If that's what it takes then so be it. Treat him and get him ready to travel. You will also be accompanying us," Hawk said and stepped away from the bed. He watched as Kudrone carefully checked the unconscious man's injuries and noted the careful way he probed the rib cage. He needed to prove that he was master to this man…alpha to his beta and make damn sure John understood his place whether his memory returned or not.

"Hawk…his ribs…"

"You have already told me his injuries, Kudrone…there is nothing more to say!" Hawk spat and folded his arms across his chest as the man grew quiet. The trip to the underground chambers would be interesting if John regained consciousness, because one way or the other Hawk planned on finding out whether John was faking the memory loss. If he was John would find out what retribution really meant.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

Elizabeth Weir waited impatiently for Rodney McKay's voice to come through, but so far there'd been too much interference. She knew everyone's attention was on her and knew they were anxiously waiting word on John Sheppard. Atlantis seemed to have stopped since news came that the Colonel was alive and rescue efforts were underway.

Carson Beckett stood beside her and she knew he'd be listening for anything that didn't seem right with the Canadian. Beckett was a hands on doctor and hated when his patient was not within the confines of his infirmary. McKay had a concussion according to Teyla, and Elizabeth understood how dangerous that could be.

"Dr. Weir," the communications officer motioned that everything was ready and Elizabeth stepped closer.

"Rodney, it's Elizabeth…"

"Elizabeth, thank God…we don't have much time but I wanted to update you. We know where Sheppard is and we're…"

"Slow down, Rodney," Weir warned as the Canadian's words seemed to run into each other.

"Sorry, look we're accompanying a woman named Shariel to Hawk's compound so we'll be unable to set up communications until after we get Sheppard back."

"Be careful, Rodney…bring him home," Weir said.

"We will, Elizabeth."

"Rodney, are you okay?" Beckett asked seriously.

"I'm fine, Carson, or I will be once we're home…all of us."

"Just be careful and watch out for…"

"Headaches, dizziness, and blurred vision…I know the signs, Carson. We'll be out of contact until we return to Suduko's home."

"We'll be waiting," Weir said as they lost the signal. "How did he sound, Carson?"

"I'm amazed that he isn't complainin', Elizabeth, then again he's changed since Colonel Sheppard's disappearance," Beckett said.

"We all have," Weir offered tiredly.

"Come on, Elizabeth, let's get something to eat and I'll update you on Major Riggs and her team," Beckett said. He knew Weir worried about everyone on Atlantis and tried to keep her updated on anyone in the infirmary. Luckily there were only two patients and both had minor injuries.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

John knew they were air born and relaxed into the seat as if he'd been born to it. He shifted slightly and opened his eyes, disgusted at the sight of the man seated in the pilot's chair. Hawk reminded him of a man he'd once met, but John could not remember when or why. All he knew was that both men were the enemy and didn't give a damn who they hurt as long as they got what they wanted.

"How do you feel, John?"

John looked over his shoulder at the man standing in the open hatch to the rear compartment. Kudrone surprised him time and again, yet John was not sure whether he trusted him or not. He could feel Hawk watching him, but did not acknowledge the man as he sighed heavily and held his arm against his ribs.

"John?" Kudrone said.

"I'm okay, Kudrone, just a little sore," the Atlantian answered.

"Hawk…"

"We've been through this, Kudrone, John fights and that's the last I want to hear about it. We should be coming up on the entrance to the underground chambers in a few minutes," Hawk explained and looked at his 'slave'. "Would you like to take the controls, John?"

"Yes," John answered and felt himself tense as Hawk released the control of the vessel to him. He flew the ship low over the trees, skimming the tops as he watched the screen. He knew Hawk had preprogrammed the onboard computer to make sure he didn't take them off course, yet John felt some control as he expertly handle the small craft.

"Shariel will be here, Kudrone."

"Shariel's coming here," Kudrone asked, a hint of excitement in his voice.

"Yes, but I refused her last offer…"

"Please, Hawk, what would it take…"

"There's no price…I need you to work on the Atlantian technology," Hawk told him.

"I have done all I can."

"No, you haven't, but perhaps if you can convince John to help you it would go easier on you both," Hawk said, but smiled when he looked at the man in the seat beside him. "What do you say, John, would you help Kudrone in exchange for his freedom?"

Nothing was said as the ship descended toward the underground chamber, yet John knew he would do anything he could in order to help Kudrone escape Hawk's clutches.

TBC


	29. Chapter 29

Remember, Never to Forget---29

Shazzia looked at Domitar and allowed a hint of a smile as the elderly man sat down opposite her. She respected her father, but had not called him by that title in many years. "Tell me you found me a ship."

"Not yet, but I do have news."

"Tell me!"

"Corbone sent word that Suduko and his guests have left for Hawk's fortress. I believe they have the ships and the man power to rescue John Sheppard."

"What good will that do me while I have no ship?"

Domitar smiled at his daughter and knew she was impetuous and lacked his patience. "If Suduko and the others are successful they will need to return here and I will arrange to have a welcome party ready for them. You could have John Sheppard back in your hands before the next solar cycle."

"That is wonderful news, but we will also need some way of escaping once he is back where he belongs."

"I am also working on that, Shazzia. Everything will be ready when they return, but you must stay out of sight until that time," Domitar told her.

"I hate being shut off from everything, Domitar…Suduko and the others must pay fro what they cost me."

"They will, Shazzia, but we can only do one thing at a time," Domitar warned and stood up to leave. "I will return as soon as Corbone brings word of their success or failure."

Shazzia moved to the bed and lay down as she thought about the man she'd sold without realizing who she had. There were many who would pay to have him, but she would not make the same mistake again. "You're mine, John Sheppard, and I will not stop until you are back where you belong."

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Shariel's ship was as big as the Daedalus, but lacked the grace and design of the Asgard vessels. The ship seemed cumbersome and not space worthy, yet Rodney McKay was awed by the technological advances he saw once Shariel allowed them access to her 'bridge'.

Rodney had a lot of questions, but the headache that lingered made it impossible to concentrate and he could feel Teyla watching him closely. He heard her speaking in hushed tones with their hostess and soon felt a hand on his arm.

"Rodney, perhaps you should get some rest…"

"I'm fine, Teyla, do you see this…it's incredible," McKay said and fought the rising tide of nausea churning through his stomach.

"Yes, it is and you will have plenty of time to check out the systems during the trip to Hawk's Fortress, but Dr. Beckett said you should rest," Emmagan warned.

McKay knew she was right and sighed heavily as Teyla nodded to their hostess and led him away from the main 'bridge'. He blinked several times in an effort to control the pain caused by the bright lights as they slowly made their way along a narrow corridor. He had no idea where she was taking him, but he trusted Teyla and soon found her opening a door and motioning him inside. It was a simple room with just a small bed along one wall, yet it was the second most wonderful sight he wanted to see. He sighed heavily and sat down before glancing up at the Athosian.

"We'll get John back, Rodney," she assured him.

"I know…but what will he be like?"

"What do you mean?" Teyla asked.

"The last time I saw him he was in the hands of one of those creatures, Teyla. There was so much blood and then I blew up the damn ship while he was…was staring at me…I did this to him, Teyla…"

"No, you didn't Rodney," Emmagan said and sat beside him. "Rodney, you have to believe he's still the John Sheppard we know…"

"I wish I could, Teyla, but if Sheppard was himself he would have found a way to contact Atlantis. So much time as passed without a word…what if his memory…what if he don't remember us…remember me?"

"Rodney…"

"You don't understand, Teyla…John Sheppard accepts me for who I am. He doesn't just see the scientist…the egotistical brilliant mind…he sees me and doesn't push me away…"

"Rodney, you have many friends…"

"I know, but Sheppard's friendship is…it's just…I can't explain it, Teyla, but when I see Sheppard I see a kindred spirit. I don't mean I'm like him…not exactly…I don't think there's anyone like him, but it means we both seem to understand each other."

"I understand, Rodney," Teyla said and placed her hand on his arm. "No matter what happens we'll help John deal with it."

"I know…"

'_And we'll help you through this too, Rodney,'_ she thought and stood up. "Rest, Rodney, it'll work out."

"Thanks, Teyla," McKay said and surrendered to the nightmares that often plagued him.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

John walked beside Hawk as they exited the ship and knew Kudrone was directly behind them. There were several other 'slaves' with them, and they would be ringing the supplies before being taken to the special quarters kept for the non fighters. John held his arm against his injured ribs, but refused to show any other outward sign of his discomfort.

There were several other crafts already docked and John studied them as they walked by each one and wondered if any of them offered a way out for him and Kudrone. He knew there was no point in thinking about it, because Hawk was very selective in who he invited to these fights.

"What are you thinking about, John?"

"My thoughts are my own, Hawk!" Sheppard told him.

"No, John, everything about you belongs to me and it's time you realized that. You have yet to see some of the Atlantian technology we have here, but I can assure you I can and will find out your thoughts when I want to," Hawk warned as he smiled at the woman walking toward them.

"Hawk, it is good to see you have recovered from the…"

"Watch what you say, Piatra, or I will have you escorted from the chambers."

"I was just going to say how much I admired your slave's ability to fight and hope to see him in the ring again soon."

"John will be fighting, Piatra," Hawk assured her.

"Excellent…is it to be a rematch?"

"No…"

"Come now, Hawk, surely you are not afraid of…"

"Piatra, watch your mouth!" Hawk warned.

"My apologies, Hawk, I was only pointing out that John has wonderful fighting techniques and with you as a teacher he could very well be the best to ever grace the Chambers," Piatra said as several newcomers joined them.

"Is this the slave who bested you, John?" a tall, gangly male asked.

"Be careful Drushale, Hawk does not wish to speak of his defeat," Piatra said with a smile.

"Piatra…"

"My apologies, Hawk, I seem to be getting caught up in the excitement," Piatra said and smiled at the slave standing beside Hawk. "It is just that I have seen John fight and I know we will not be disappointed when he steps inside the arena."

"You are letting John fight?" Drushale asked.

"I am," Hawk answered.

"Who will he fight?" Syngy asked upon joining the group.

"Did you bring Glayne?" Hawk asked.

"Of course…he proved how valuable at the last challenges and I was hoping to pit him against Tyrel of Glione this time," Syngy asked.

"Tyrel has been freed and has rejoined his people and I must warn all of you not to take him again or you will be banned from these fights," Hawk warned. "I believe John would make an adequate opponent for Glayne."

"John and Glayne…you honor me, Hawk," Syngy said and shook hands with the bigger man before turning his attention to John. "After seeing your last outing I believe you will provide a challenge to Glayne."

"I am looking forward to this particular challenge," Piatra said excitedly.

"I am sure we all are, but right now I must take John to my quarters so he can rest," Hawk explained and took John's arm before leading him away from the others.

John could hear the excited chatter until they reached the doors and they closed behind him and Hawk. He swallowed several times and kept his arm held tight against his ribs as they walked along the corridor. There was a weariness sweeping through him and he tried to ignore the icy fingers that seemed to be racing up and down his spine.

"Kudrone will give you something to ease the pain and help you relax when we reach my quarters," Hawk told him.

"I don't need anything."

"Do you think it really matters, John?" Hawk asked, but really didn't expect an answer as they reached the door leading to his private sanctuary. He led his 'slave' into the sleep chamber and motioned for him to sit on the bed as Kudrone joined them.

"Take off your shirt, John," Kudrone ordered.

"I don't want…"

"It does not matter what you or I want, John," Kudrone offered sadly as he opened the kit he'd brought with him. He felt sorry for the injured man as he reluctantly shrugged out of the shirt and dropped it on the floor. There was an inner strength to John that he admired and wished he possessed, but Hawk had succeeded in taking that from him.

John looked up at Kudrone and saw a depth of sadness that spoke of the man's inability to act on what he knew was right. He gave the man a half smile and saw a flicker of relief as Kudrone motioned for him to lay back. John did as he was told and winced as Kudrone gently probed the bruised area. He could see Hawk leaning against the wall next to the bed and wondered what had made him who he was.

"John, you need to rest, but I know you won't be able to do that without help," Kudrone said sympathetically.

"I'm okay," John lied.

"I'm sorry," Kudrone said as he readied the injection that would dull the pain and probably put the injured man to sleep for several hours.

John held his breath as Kudrone gave him the injection and fought the lethargy creeping along his nerve endings and solidifying inside his brain. He swallowed several times, fighting to keep his eyes awake as Hawk replaced Kudrone.

"You will do well against, Glayne, John," Hawk said.

"I know…I beat you," John whispered as the dark shadows at the edge of his vision grew to encompass his mind and he relaxed against the pillows.

"Hawk, are you sure you want to do this to him?"

"I am. Leave us, Kudrone," the bigger man answered simply. He studied the relaxed features of his 'slave' and again wondered what it was about him that made him want to not only punish him, but also reward him for his insolence. He knew John would sleep for some time and wanted to greet those who'd arrived early. Shariel's ship would not be here for at least twenty cycles, and he looked forward to dangling Kudrone in front of her eyes.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Rodney opened his eyes and groaned as he sat up. He knew he'd slept longer than he intended and needed to get something to eat before he did anything else. It surprised him when the door opened and Ronan came in carrying a tray of food.

"Figured you'd be hungry," the Satedan explained simply.

"I am…thank you. How long have I been asleep?" McKay asked as he picked up a sandwich.

"About 10 hours," Dex answered.

"10 hours! Why didn't someone wake me?"

"Teyla said you needed to sleep," the bigger man answered. "You didn't miss much…we did come up with a plan though."

"What kind of plan?"

"We're going to stay with Shariel's ship when she goes to the chambers. Major Lorne and Major Wallace will take the Puddle Jumpers and stay just on the edge of the solar storms until it ends. They'll stay cloaked and move into position as soon as the first crafts leave the underground chambers. Shariel says Hawk's ship will be the last one to leave," Ronan explained.

"What about us? What are we going to do?"

"Shariel is going to ask for a private audience with Hawk once the fights are over. You, Teyla, Suduko, and me will also be there and we'll be watching for a chance to attack and hopefully rescue Sheppard."

"What if Hawk refuses?"

"Shariel says she asks to speak with him after each storm and he always grants her an audience. He likes to rub it in her face that he has Kudrone and there is nothing she can do about it."

"Until now," McKay offered.

"Right," Ronan answered with a grin. He knew how hard this whole thing had been on Rodney McKay and loved to tease him, but there were times like this when they had a mutual understanding of what was at stake and both men knew they'd do anything to bring Colonel John Sheppard home where he belonged.

TBC


	30. Chapter 30

Remember, Never to Forget---30

"John, it is time to greet our guests," Hawk said gently as he waited for the injured man to open his eyes. The shot Kudrone had given him kept the slave asleep for nearly twelve hours and although still pale, John did look remarkably better.

John didn't say anything as Hawk handed him the garments that marked him as a slave. He hated the feel of the coarse material against his skin, but it was better than nothing and he quickly donned the clothing as Hawk watched him.

"You will do well, John," Hawk offered.

"How do you know?"

"I have first hand knowledge of how well you fight when you believe in something. You either fight the way you did with me or Kudrone takes your place. I can assure you he will not last long," the bigger man explained.

"You're a mean bastard, Hawk."

"John, you take liberties while we are alone and I allow it, but if you ever attempt something like that in public I will have you whipped. Come, Shariel's ship is docking and I want to see her reaction to Kudrone."

"Why don't you release him?"

"I told you I need him to work on the Ancient technology I have gathered through the years."

"Someday you'll find yourself a slave and when that day comes…"

"It never will, John, come, it is time," Hawk said and opened the door to find Kudrone waiting for them.

"Shariel's ship has docked," Kudrone said excitedly.

"I know…one would think you were anxious to greet her…"

"Hawk, please…can't we…can I…" Kudrone said as the other man placed a collar around his neck and attached a length of chain before doing the same to John.

"Shariel needs to know you are my property," Hawk said with a smile as he led the way along the deserted corridors.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

Shariel looked at the group waiting to be granted access to the underground chambers. She'd docked her ship and knew Hawk had been notified of her arrival. Her heart raced with the thought of seeing Kudrone again, and she wanted this mission to succeed so that she could be reunited with him.

Suduko knew of the fights that took place here, but the newcomers could mess everything up if their friend really was Hawk's slave. Shariel wanted to make sure they understood how important it was not to show any kind of recognition if 'John' was indeed their missing man. If Hawk sensed the real reason they were there then things could go to hell real fast.

"There are a few things we should go over before Hawk gets here," Shariel said and pointedly looked toward McKay. "We are here as guests and Hawk could easily have us barred from these chambers if he so desires. It is important that we obey his rules and not ask for a private audience with him until after the fights are completed."

"You mean we have to watch them?" McKay asked disgustedly.

"That's exactly what we must do," Shariel explained. "If your friend is here than you must not acknowledge him in any way, shape, or form. If Hawk senses anything…"

"He won't," Ronan said and looked pointedly at McKay.

"Why are you looking at me like that? It's not as if I'm going to get all blubbery and turn on the waterworks," the Canadian spat.

"Rodney," Teyla said softly and waited for the scientist to look at her. "We've all been through a lot and you've been blaming yourself for what happened to John…it would only make sense for you to get emotional if…when you see him."

"Oh, and you and Ronan won't. I seem to remember Ronan getting highly emotional when he found out Carson had killed the Wraith who was hunting him. He even hugged him for God's sake…"

"Rodney…"

"And you've been known to get all blubbery too, Teyla…"

"I know, Rodney, but Shariel just wants to make sure we don't do anything that could get John hurt," Emmagan told him.

"Listen to her, Dr. McKay, or I will leave you all on the ship," Shariel warned.

"No, we need…I need to be there," McKay said.

"And you will, Rodney, we all will," the Athosian assured him. "Shariel, we know what's involved and we will conduct ourselves accordingly."

"Very well, Hawk should be arriving any minute," Shariel told them and pressed the buttons to open the rear hatch.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

John walked slightly behind Hawk's right side, hating the way the man seemed to be putting both him and Kudrone on display. He'd jerked his head a few times, but there was no doubt who was in control and John was disgusted at being unable to escape this humiliation. They neared the docking bay and he watched as Hawk's fingers keyed in the correct sequence of symbols and numbers before the door opened and they stepped inside.

There were several ships already there and John wondered if there was any chance he could take one before anyone knew what he was thinking, but a sharp tug on the chain brought his attention back to the present.

"John, I know exactly what you're thinking and I warn you there is no escape for you…not now…not ever," the big man warned as the rear hatch of the nearest ship opened.

"Shariel," Kudrone whispered, fighting the urge to go to the woman.

"Hello, Shariel, it is good to see you again," Hawk said.

"Thank you, Hawk, you look well," Shariel said and felt Suduko on her right. She glanced at the man to Hawk's right and wondered if it was the man the Atlantians were looking for.

Rodney McKay bit his lip as he caught sight of John Sheppard. Oh the man looked different, looked as if a strong wind could blow him away. There were dark rims around the eyes that were usually so full of life, but were now filled with a blankness that spoke of pain. He fought the urge to strike out at Sheppard's captor and felt Teyla's hand on his arm. He forced himself to look away from the 'slave' and tried to quell the nausea churning through his gut. There were times when he wondered if this was a wild goose chase, but now, with John Sheppard close enough to touch, Rodney felt as if he'd been granted his deepest wish.

"Easy, Rodney, now is not the time," Teyla whispered when she felt McKay try to pull away from her.

"I should kill the bastard!" Ronan ground out and wished he'd kept his weapon with him in spite of the warnings from Shariel. He hated what he saw when he looked at John Sheppard and felt the urge to lash out, but Teyla's hand on his arm calmed his instincts.

Teyla knew how the two men felt as she touched their arms. She wanted to act out on her anger just as much as they did, but she understood how damning those actions could be. They were on Hawk's turf and amongst his friends which meant they were outnumbered and would wind up becoming prisoners or 'slaves' themselves if Hawk found out the real reason they were there.

"So, Shariel, I see you have several new slaves yourself," Hawk offered and gazed at the newcomers who stood just behind her.

"One must keep up with the times, besides, appearances are everything are they not, Hawk?" Shariel asked.

"They certainly are. Who is the female?"

"Her name is Teyla…I discovered her amongst the warrior tribes of Jarcusion," Shariel answered.

"She has a strange coloring for a Jarcusion," Hawk observed.

"Her mother was Jarcusion…her father is unknown," Shariel explained.

John listened to Hawk and Shariel talk, but his eyes had locked onto the trio who were slightly behind the woman. There was something familiar about them, but of the three it was the man with the short hair that called to him. He'd seen that face before, in his dreams when the storms raged and he needed a safe harbor. "Rodney," he whispered and saw the man's head come up as if he'd heard him, but John knew that was not possible.

"Hawk, is it possible to have a private meeting with you at the end of the challenges?" Shariel asked.

"You ask that every time, Shariel, the answer is still no. Kudrone belongs to me and he stays where he is."

"Perhaps I have something new to offer. Something that just might make you change your mind," the woman said.

"You say that every time, but I do enjoy watching you and Kudrone squirm. I will meet with you when the others have gone, but for now I have other guests to greet." Hawk smiled and led his slaves away from Shariel and her entourage, and felt as if there were daggers flying in his direction.

"He looks like hell," McKay said softly.

"Yes, he does, but he is alive, Rodney…everything else will take care of itself once we get him out of here and back to Atlantis," Teyla said.

"I'll kill him," Ronan said, his words dark with undisguised anger.

"You need to be silent until we reach my quarters," Shariel warned, but she knew exactly how they felt. She hated that Hawk continued to hold Kudrone, the man she had chosen as her life mate, and hoped they could act on their plans to free both men.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

John frowned and glanced over his shoulder, hoping to catch a glimpse of the man who seemed to be his lifeline, not only in his dreams, but in reality as well. What was it about him that made John feel as if he'd come home? Why did he want to shout his name, even though it also conjured up new nightmares of creatures that could easily tear him apart?

"John, are you all right?"

"I'm okay…just tired," John answered and realized it was only partially true. They'd greeted four groups since Shariel's arrival, but John's mind wandered to the arrival of Shariel. He was tired, but he was also exhilarated about seeing the newcomers again.

"Hawk, perhaps we should let John get some rest," Kudrone tried.

"Are you tired, John?" Hawk asked.

"A little," John answered, hoping his 'owner' would return him to their quarters so he could relax and think about why these people gave him hope.

"I believe we have done our duty as hosts," Hawk offered. "I will have our meal brought to my quarters and you can give John something to help him sleep. I believe tomorrow you and Glayne will meet for the first time, but you will not fight until the final day of the storms."

John remained silent as they made their way toward Hawk's quarters. He entered as soon as the man opened the door and closed his eyes as several images flashed across his mind. A hand latched onto his arm and led him toward the small bed he'd be using. He sat down heavily and felt a tremor run down his spine as Hawk watched him closely.

"John…"

"I'm okay, Kudrone, just been a long day," John assured him.

"Why don't you lie down and get some rest?"

"Sounds like a plan," John said and lay back as he closed his eyes. He drifted toward sleep, frowning when the faces of the newcomers invaded his dreams.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

"Sonofabitch!" McKay spat once they were in Shariel's quarters. His heart was trip hammering in his chest and he was sure it would explode if he didn't calm down.

"Rodney, you need to be calm," Teyla warned.

"Calm? Not likely…did you see him, Teyla…Sheppard looks like hell!" McKay snapped.

"Yes, he does, but right now his looking like hell is a wonderful thing," Teyla said.

"What do you mean?" the Canadian asked.

"He's alive, Rodney, no matter how bad he looks it doesn't matter because he is alive!" Emmagan said and saw a hint of a smile on McKay's face.

"Damn right!" the scientist agreed and looked at Ronan Dex who looked like an unleashed storm cloud on the brink erupting with explosive energy.

"We need to get him home," Dex told them.

"We will, Ronan," Teyla assured the big Setedan.

Ronan didn't comment as he thought about John Sheppard. The man had been the first one to accept him for who he was and had not tried to change him. He'd offered him a spot on his team and had taken up his cause with Elizabeth Weir. When the four of them fought together it felt as if they were insurmountable, that they could defeat the darkest enemy known to man.

John Sheppard was a big part of that and since they'd 'seen' him die, the team dynamics had changed. It was as if the very soul had been ripped out of it, but now they had a chance to get him back if they could just hold onto their anger and curb their need for revenge.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA**

'_Blow it! God Damn you, McKay, blow it now! McKay…please…just do it…please…Rodney…blow it…'_

Hawk watched the sleeping man and listened as he mumbled unintelligible words even as his body contorted on the bed. Kudrone was eating, but he had no interest in food as he studied his 'slave'. There was no mistaking the sorrow and pain caused by whatever John was dreaming about and Hawk wondered what could possibly have caused so many emotions in this man. It brought new emotions to him and he wanted to protect John, but he fought those emotions in an effort to distance himself from his property.

"What are you seeing, John?" Hawk asked softly as John's face screwed up in pain.

"Blow it! God Damn you, McKay, blow it now!" John screamed as he tried to escape the creature that held him captive in mandible like claws that pinched his skin and threatened to tear him apart. His breathing grew labored as someone shook him and the nightmarish images receded and reality seemed to kick him in the gut.

"Who is McKay, John?" Hawk asked.

"I don't know," John answered and sat up, rubbing at his eyes as he did so.

"John, I warned you what would happen if I find out you're lying to me…"

"I don't know who he is, Hawk…hell I don't even know who I am…"

"I'm beginning to think your memory loss is not as far reaching as you lead me to believe," Hawk said, the words leaving no doubt as to what would happen if he discovered John's memory had returned.

"I don't really give a damn anymore, Hawk," John snapped and found his wrist caught in a vice like grip.

"John, do you need another lesson in humility?"

"Go to hell!" John spat as images of the man he knew only as Rodney made him desperate for freedom.

"I have warned you, John…"

"Hawk, please, he…"

"Be silent, Kudrone!" Hawk snapped as he stood up and pulled his recalcitrant slave to his feet. "It is time you were punished…"

"Hawk, you want him to fight…"

"Kudrone, you will be silent or you will join him!" Hawk warned. "Go tell the others there is to be a special show at the cages!"

John shook his head when Kudrone went to speak and saw the eyes fill with sorrow before Hawk pulled him from the room. They strode purposefully toward the fighting chambers and he wasn't surprised to see several people already filing in.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

"What do you think is happening, Shariel?" Teyla asked as they made their way toward the cages where the fights took place.

"Hawk does not usually offer entertainment of this sort unless he is angry. Someone will be punished and if I am correct it is either Kudrone or John," Shariel answered and heard a guttural curse from the big man standing to her left. "I must warn you all not to interfere or all will be lost."

"Shariel, if it is Kudrone will you be able to stand by and watch?" Teyla asked, worried that she would react if it was John Sheppard being punished.

"I have done so on several occasions because to do otherwise would simply make matters worse for him," Shariel offered as they reached the cages in time to see Hawk lead his 'slave' to the center of a circle of chairs. She turned and placed a restraining hand on the big Setedan as Suduko did the same.

"You will not help him by interfering now," Suduko warned in an icy tone.

"We can't just stand by and do nothing!" McKay snapped.

"We can and we will, Rodney, or we won't be able to help him at all!" Teyla warned and fought her own angry urge to kill the hated slaver.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

John stood with his head held high as Hawk took his arms and locked his wrists into a set of metal cuffs hanging from hooks placed at the top of the cage and spaced two feet apart. His arms were lifted until he stood on the tips of his toes, but he refused to show anything, but contempt.

"John has been warned that he would be punished if he continued to defy me, and you all know I do not make idle threats. John must learn his place in my world and I promise there will be no doubt in his mind of that place once I have finished today," Hawk warned and moved to stand in front of his 'slave'. "John, if you wish to apologize then I will reconsider…"

"Go to hell!" John spat and swore he saw a hint of a smile on a stranger's face. A stranger who seemed familiar to him with the long dreadlocks and the dark anger in the set of his shoulders and the eyes that stared directly at him.

"Very well, John," Hawk said and reached for the whip that hung from the hook next to the metal cuffs. "You will be given ten lashes…"

Again Teyla found herself having to control the two men, but she was glad because it kept her mind off her own outrage as Hawk spoke of punishing their friend. She hated seeing John chained up like an animal and punished for being who he was, who he'd always been.

John held his body still as Hawk ran the handle of the whip down his back and finally ripped the shirt from his body. John closed his eyes and waited for the first blow, but when it came nothing could have prepared him for the fire that erupted along battered nerves. He shook uncontrollably as the second blow landed and fought to keep silent as the third and fourth struck his bare skin. He waited expectantly for the fifth, but was shocked when Hawk's voice spoke in his ear.

"You are the only one who can stop this, John, all it takes is an apology and for you to act as a slave should."

"No…never hap…happen…"

"Very well," Hawk said and drew back his arm before delivering a blow that rocked the 'slave with a force far beyond anything he'd felt before.

Rodney cringed and felt his heart skip a beat as pain filled cry escaped John Sheppard's throat. He leaned heavily against Ronan as the big Setedan fought to stay where he was. The sixth and seventh blow landed with such ferocity that left John Sheppard unconscious. By the time the eighth and ninth blows landed there were cheers from most of the spectators, but there were three who would have torn the place down if they could have saved their friend from the harsh treatment.

John had no idea how he stayed conscious as the last blow landed on his back and he felt something wet that spoke of broken skin and blood. He swallowed convulsively as the nauseating pain built to a sickening crescendo that threatened to drive him into a dark abyss from where there was no escape. He felt a hand on his back and shook with the excruciating fire that burned through his ravaged flesh.

"Perhaps now you understand that I will not allow you to disobey me," Hawk said as he reached up and released his 'slave's' hands. He could feel John fighting to control the tremors that shook his body and quickly lifted him into his arms. He could see Shariel watching him and frowned when he noticed the trio standing with her and wondered why they looked as if they would tear him apart if given the chance.

John chose to keep his eyes closed and did not have the strength to fight his 'owner' as he carried him away from the cages. He felt someone watching him and opened his eyes as he passed the familiar stranger once more. 'Help me, Rodney,' he thought just before the darkness descended and he could no longer fight it.

TBC


	31. Chapter 31

Remember, Never to Forget---31

Shariel knew it was time to get the others back to her quarters before their anger got the better of them. Ronan's face looked as if he would tear something apart if he didn't find some way to release his pent up emotions, while Rodney McKay muttered angry words that could get them all kicked out if they were not careful. Teyla Emmagan seemed to be the only one with a cool head, yet Shariel knew the woman was far past being angry.

"We must leave now," Teyla suggested as Hawk disappeared with John Sheppard. She knew Ronan and McKay well enough to know that the emotional turmoil they were holding in check would soon explode.

"Follow me and don't do anything stupid," Shariel warned and led the others away from the cages. She knew the other 'guests' were watching them, but she didn't acknowledge any of them as anger made her blood boil. She'd seen Kudrone, but didn't get the opportunity to speak with him and that was something she desperately needed. Once inside her quarters, Shariel engaged the locking mechanism and turned to see the others watching her closely.

"We need to get Sheppard away from that bastard!" McKay snarled.

"There is nothing we can do until after the fights and the Solar Storms have ended…"

"Colonel Sheppard…"

"Doesn't know who you are, Teyla, and to go to him before we set our plans in motion would get not only him killed, but the rest of us as well," Suduko told them.

"We have to wait until the others have left so as not to arouse suspicion," Shariel said and poured glasses of amber liquid that packed quite a punch and would hopefully keep everyone calm until they were ready to act.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

Hawk gently eased the semi-conscious man onto the bed and turned to find Kudrone watching him, anger evident in the set of his shoulders and the coldness of his eyes. He returned his attention to John's injuries and gently probed them, relieved to see that he'd been able to restrain himself enough to keep from doing any serious damage.

"Hawk, let me check him…"

"His wounds are not serious, but they will need to be tended. Give him something to help him sleep and make sure he is ready for his time in the cage."

"You can't be serious, Hawk!"

"I am serious, Kudrone, be silent and do as I say," Hawk warned and reached for the bottle of Arcasian wine he kept by his bedside. He watched as Kudrone grabbed the items he'd need and began to clean the wounds that crisscrossed John's back. The man bucked instantly when Kudrone poured a cleansing liquid directly onto his back.

"Easy, John, I need to get these cleaned up," Kudrone said. The liquid he was using had numbing abilities and should work quickly to ease the burning pain he knew would be there. He felt John trembling beneath his touch and hoped Hawk would change his mind about putting the man in a cage with Glayne. One look at his 'owner' told him that would never happen.

"It b…burns…"

"I know it does, John, but it'll stop you from getting an infection and it will numb the nerves in the area so the pain will ease," Kudrone explained.

"Kudrone will also give you something to make you sleep, John, but I have a couple of questions for you first," Hawk said and moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Hawk, he's in no shape to answer any questions…"

"Be silent, Kudrone," Hawk warned and placed his hand flat against the wounds he'd inflicted. "Now, John, I know there are some things you remember whether consciously or unconsciously and I need to know whether you're as helplessly in the dark as you would have me believe."

"I don't remember anything," John whispered.

"That is a lie," Hawk said and pressed on the wounds until his 'slave' cried out. "Who is McKay and why do you call for him?"

"I don't know…God!" John cried out as Hawk kept the pressure on his back. "I don't know who he is…he's in my head…my dreams."

"Is he a friend?"

"I don't know…maybe," John answered, shaking as Hawk traced one of the wounds with his finger. It sent icy talons of pain through his body and he tried to pull away, but the other man pressed him down against the bed.

"Hawk, he can't take much more!" Kudrone warned as Hawk lifted his hand and watched John's blood drip from his fingertips.

"John," Hawk said and leaned close to the semi-conscious man's left ear. "If I find out you're lying to me this will seem like a love tap…do you understand?"

"Yes…God yes," John managed and was relieved when the man stood up and moved away. He soon felt Kudrone's soft touch as he cleaned the wounds once again.

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep, John," Kudrone explained as he loaded a syringe.

John felt the man swipe something across his hip and then the sharp jab of a needle.

"That should help…"

"Thanks, Carson," John whispered and relaxed as the medication swept through his body.

Kudrone looked up at John's words and saw the anger in Hawk's eyes as he watched him. He knew Hawk hadn't missed John's last words and knew it did not bode well for him. "He should sleep for several hours."

"You may leave…"

"Hawk, he really has no memory of these people…at least not consciously."

"Leave us, Kudrone, but do not go near Shariel's quarters. You are to stay in your room until I summon you," Hawk warned. He waited for Kudrone to leave and stood watching his 'slave' sleep. There was an air of innocence to John right now, but Hawk had no sympathy for him. Something about the way John spoke of 'Carson' and McKay' spoke of a deep friendship and trust that would need to be dealt with severely.

"I will find out who they are, John, and when I do I will take their memory from you," Hawk vowed and reached for the Arcasian wine once more. He looked at the dried blood on his hand and smiled before taking a drink from the bottle and settled in to watch over his property.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Major Evan Lorne hated waiting, but right now that was all he could do as the solar storm raged a short distance away. The Puddle Jumper was buffeted by a blast of heated wind every few hours, but other than that they untouched by the violence of it. He could hear several of his men playing cards in the back, but had no interest in joining them.

Lorne wondered what was happening in the underground chambers and whether McKay and the others had found Colonel John Sheppard. If so was he the man they knew or had he changed since his disappearance? Did he even know who he was or what he did on Atlantis?

Things had changed since Sheppard disappeared, but so far there'd been no sign of a permanent replacement. Now it seemed as if there was a real possibility of Sheppard returning, but again the question would be whether he was fit to return to duty. Lorne had a great deal of respect for Atlantis' military commander and knew Wallace and many others also felt that way. The truth was, even Colonel Steven Caldwell knew Sheppard was well suited as leader of the Atlantis expedition.

Lorne knew Hank Wallace and his team was probably killing time in much the same way his people were, but they were also trying to work out the best way to rescue McKay and the others if there were any unforeseen problems. The hardest part in all of this was the waiting, and that was something he hated as much as not knowing what to expect.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

Kudrone knew Hawk would not change his mind and wished there was some way he could stop John from having to fight Glayne. He had never seen Syngy's new slave, but he had no doubt as to the man's abilities. Syngy was well known for being only her strongest and toughest fighters to the underground fights and Glayne was a big man.

Kudrone glanced at the door and sighed heavily before exiting his room and making his way to Hawk's main chambers. He needed to check John's wounds and make sure he was resting comfortably. He knocked lightly on and door and heard Hawk tell him to come in. He was all that surprised to find Hawk sitting at John's bedside, what did surprise him was the gentle way Hawk seemed to be touching John's right shoulder.

"It is time to wake up, John," Hawk said and nudged the injured man a little harder.

"Tired," John whispered.

"It is time to join the others at the cages. There are two fights scheduled and I wish for you to see what is expected of you," Hawk explained.

"He shouldn't move around too much with those wounds. They could open up again and that could lead to more blood loss and infection."

"That is why I keep you around, Kudrone. Your job is to see that John and my other property are kept healthy," Hawk told him as he felt John move beneath his touch. He heard a soft expletive and reached out to help him, but John shrugged him off as he slid his legs over the edge.

"I brought you some new clothing," Hawk said and motioned to the pants and shirt on the bed beside him. "Let me help you."

"I can do it myself!" John snapped.

"John, do you really think you can fight me?"

"I can sure as hell give it a damn good try," John answered and grabbed the rough clothing. He knew Hawk could easily force him to do what he wanted, but it seemed like his 'master' had decided to let him have his way for now.

Hawk watched as John donned the clothing and slid his feet into the soft moccasins provided. He could tell the man was in a lot of pain, but made no apologies for what he'd done. John needed to learn his place, and until that happened he would continue to be punished for any wrong doings.

"It is time to join the others," Hawk said and quickly added a leash to each 'slave's' collar before leading them out of his chambers and toward the main fighting arena. "Do not worry, John, your fight will not take place today, but you and your opponent will get to meet each other and perhaps you will get some insight into Glayne."

John remained silent during the trek to the cages and tried to ignore the people staring at him. He knew they were all slavers, but that didn't make it any easier for him. He glanced sideways at the small contingent of people on his left and suddenly realized he was staring at the familiar stranger once more. What was it about the man that made him want to reach out and hold on to him as if his very life depended on his touch?

Rodney knew he should turn away from Sheppard's stare, but there was something haunting in the way the eyes saw him, yet did not seem to know who he was. He felt Teyla shift beside him and knew she was watching the arrival of the newcomers with the same anger and distaste he was. How could anyone think they could own another person? How could slavery be right here in the Pegasus Galaxy and no one thought to do anything about it?

"Rodney, you need to stop staring at John," Teyla warned as Shariel moved to stand in front of him.

"I hate seeing him like this, Teyla."

"We all do, Rodney, but it won't be for much longer," Emmagan offered.

"He shouldn't be up and around after what he did to him!" McKay snapped.

"I know, but there's nothing we can do about that now. Carson will take care of him once we get him out of here," Teyla assured him as Hawk raised his hands and began to speak.

"I will take this time to welcome everyone to the fights. I am sure we will all be entertained by our challengers including one of mine. John has agreed to fight Glayne, but that will not happen until late tomorrow. Until then I'm sure the other combatants will keep us interested starting with Piatra's fighter Kinaka who will be joined in the cage this morning by Shariel's newest acquisition Teyla of Jarcusion… "

"Hawk, I did not agree to this," Shariel said angrily.

"Come, Shariel, you brought her here and she is from a warrior race and I'm sure everyone will agree that she and Kinaka are well suited for this particular challenge."

"I have not prepared her for what is expected," Shariel told him.

"She will be fine…won't you Teyla?" Hawk asked.

"I will do what my Mistress tells me to," Emmagan answered and felt Ronan tense up beside her.

"See, Shariel, she is eager to please you. Perhaps she will even defeat Kinaka," Hawk said as Piatra brought Kinaka forward. The female was two inches taller than Teyla, but seemed to be the same build as she was positioned in front of Emmagan.

"Thank you, Hawk, I believe this should be rather interesting," Piatra said with a smile as Kinaka growled low in her throat.

John watched the scene unfold and wondered why he detested the idea of the woman called Teyla fighting in the cage. Why was she having such an effect on him? He'd seen fights before, but this woman should not be here…she was free wasn't she? He tried to think, but pain exploded through his head and he closed his eyes until the sickening nausea eased. He felt a hand on his arm and turned to look at Kudrone.

"Are you all right, John?"

"I don't…my head hurts," John answered softly.

"Try keeping your eyes closed and don't think about anything," Kudrone told him.

"Trying…hate this."

"I know, but there's nothing we can do about it."

"Come, John, Kudrone, we must get to our seats before this match begins," Hawk said, eagerly anticipating a long, drawn out fight between the two female combatants.

John sat on the seat beside Hawk and closed his eyes, only to snap them open as a loud war cry sounded from inside the cage. The woman named Teyla ducked below Kinaka's arms and drove her fist into her opponent's abdomen. She doubled over and Teyla brought her right elbow down across the woman's shoulders. John smiled and wondered why he was so anxious for her to beat her foe.

Rodney could only watch in disgust as Teyla was forced to become part of the challenges. He knew she could handle herself, but he'd never really seen her in action…at least not close up like this. Teyla dodged to her right, but not fast enough to escape her attacker's fist. Her head snapped back as Kinaka pressed forward, but Teyla quickly recovered and kicked out with her left leg, driving Kinaka backward with enough force to slam her body into the bars of the cage.

"She's very good, Shariel," Hawk said, admiring the woman's physique and her prowess in hand to hand combat.

"She will be even better with the correct training," Shariel told him and felt Ronan's body tensing in the seat next to her. She knew she had to keep him from doing anything stupid and placed her hand on his leg, but did not look at him.

"Only if she survives this challenge," Hawk said seriously.

"Teyla can handle herself," Ronan said softly.

"Is that so?" Hawk asked sizing the man up. "What about you, Big Man?"

"What about me?" Dex asked.

"Do you think you could handle yourself in the cage?"

"Hawk, my property is mine and I will decide if and when they fight. Ronan…"

"I wonder how he would do against John?" Hawk asked.

"I could take him," Ronan said.

"You have already promised a match with Syngy's slave, Hawk," Shariel said.

"Perhaps we could make a compromise…John against Ronan and Kudrone against Glayne…we could even make it a double match," Hawk offered.

"No…I am not prepared…"

"You mean you could not watch Kudrone go into the cage?" Hawk said. "What if I offered his freedom in exchange…"

"I'll do it!" Kudrone said, and silently cursed as Hawk's laughter echoed through the chambers.

"I'm afraid that was not really part of this, Kudrone, although maybe someday I'll take you up on the offer," Hawk said with a hint of a smile.

Teyla had eyes only for her opponent and she delivered several well placed blows to Kinaka's upper body before turning and kicking out with her left leg. Kinaka could not stay on her feet as the devastating blows left her out of breath and gasping for air. Teyla continued to fight, not letting up even as Kinaka hit the ground and tried to roll away.

"Shariel, have you thought about selling her?" Hawk asked, intrigued by the beautiful warrior.

"No," Shariel answered simply.

"Too bad…I might have been tempted to sweeten the deal. She would make a good mate for John…I imagine their coloring and physique would have made for an interesting child," Hawk observed and watched John closely. There was something about the way he stared at Shariel's female slave, but he couldn't quite place what it was.

John could not keep the admiration from his face as he watched the fight taking place in the cage. Both combatants had been able to deliver several hits to their opponent's bodies, but it was the woman named Teyla he silently cheered for. Why it would matter to him, he had no idea, but her movements were quick and lethal as she drove her fists into the other woman's body until Kinaka landed on her back and didn't move.

"I do believe the victory is mine," Shariel said and smiled as Teyla exited the cave and walked toward them. There were a couple of small cuts on he left side of her face and a thin stream of blood trailed down her neck as she held her head high. She seemed to be breathing heavily, but that was normal when someone fought a grueling battle in the cage.

"Congratulations, Teyla, you fought well," Hawk said as the next combatants were led into the cage.

"Thank you," Teyla said, and turned away in an effort to keep herself from slugging the man.

"Teyla, it is time we went back to my quarters and you rested," Shariel offered.

"I am okay…"

"Are you sure…"

"She is fine, Shariel, just let Kudrone take a look at her wounds," Hawk said. There was something about Shariel's new acquisitions he found intriguing and as he watched John he sensed there was something the man was trying to remember. _'Don't lie to me, John…it will not go well for you if you do,"_ he thought and pulled slightly on the leash in a show of ownership.

TBC


	32. Chapter 32

Remember, Never to Forget---32

John knew Hawk was suspicious of the newcomers, but no matter how hard he tried he could not figure out why he was drawn to them. The one named Teyla was beautiful, but it was the man…the one with the maddeningly serious face that beckoned to him as if they were brothers. Was he a brother…was that why he kept seeing the man in his dreams? Even now he could sense pain oozing from him as if he was plagued by guilt.

Shariel had led the others away as soon as Kudrone had seen to Teyla's injuries, and john was relieved when Kudrone told Hawk there was nothing serious plaguing her. Hawk insisted they stay to watch the final match of the day, but John did not know who won or lost because his mind was elsewhere. He shook himself as Hawk latched onto his arm and pulled him roughly to his feet.

"Come, John, you need to eat and rest. Tomorrow you will enter the cage and be pitted against Glayne. I have confidence that you can defeat him, but you must keep up your strength," Hawk said as he took the leashes and led his 'slaves' toward the door.

"Hawk, do you think you puny slave has a chance against Syngy's Glayne?" Rygilla asked.

Hawk looked at the big male whose body was covered in a dusting of light fur and had eyes the color of the darkest sky. This was the third time Rygilla had been granted an invite to the chambers and Hawk was beginning to detest the man. He would allow him to stay until the solar storms ended, but after that he would no longer be welcome.

"I believe John is a good match for Glayne."

"I was told John did an admirable job in defeating his master."

"Watch what you say, Rygilla, or you might find yourself in orbit without a ship," Hawk warned.

"I was just making an observation, Hawk, unlike those who talk of your defeat behind your back," Rygilla said.

"I do not fear cowards who talk behind my back for they do not have the guts to speak openly…"

"But I do, Hawk, and I believe your defeat at John's hands has weakened your place amongst the other slavers."

"Is that so, Rygilla?"

"Yes it is…"

Hawk moved to stand in front of the newcomer with a hint of a smile on his face as he spoke. "What of you, Rygilla? Do you think me weak?"

"I…"

"Because if you do then I would challenge you to a battle in the cages."

"Fighting is for the slaves…"

"Not when a slaver insults another of his kind."

"I did not insult you, Hawk, I simply made an observation…"

"Observations like that can get you killed…"

"No need to get defensive, Hawk, I'll gladly…"

"Join me in the cage?"

"No, I'm a lover not a fighter," Rygilla told him.

"I doubt you'd be very good at either," Hawk said, turning his back on the angry male and leading John and Kudrone away from the cages. He could feel Rygilla watching him and knew the man was a coward and that there was no way he would agree to a fight no matter who the challenger was.

John glanced over his left shoulder and felt the anger oozing off the male Hawk had just insulted. The man was obviously a coward, but that didn't mean he wasn't dangerous. Rygilla didn't seem the type to forget, and John knew cowardly enemies were sometimes the worst kind.

"What are you thinking about, John?" Hawk asked when he noticed the look on his 'slave's' face.

"You should watch out for him?"

"Who? Rygilla…he's a coward."

"Doesn't mean he's not dangerous," John offered.

"Dangerous men make mistakes, John…cowardly men make stupid mistakes."

"Naïve men ignore those who pose a threat," John said softly as they entered Hawk's chambers. He moved to sit on the edge of the cot, but was stopped when Hawk tugged on his leash.

"I am not naïve, John, nor am I stupid. You will eat and sleep…tomorrow promises to be an entertaining day for everyone involved," Hawk said and finally released both men before making his way toward the table and grabbing a new bottle of wine. Rygilla would have to be dealt with, but right now there were more important things to look forward to and watching John in the cage was at the top of his list.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

Teyla eased her aching body down on the cot and lay back against the pillows as she closed her eyes. She was tired beyond anything she could have imagined, but she needed to hear what the others were saying. With a muffled groan she forced her body up and sat on the edge of the bed.

"You should rest, Teyla," McKay said.

"I am fine, Rodney, or I will be once we get John away from this place," Emmagan told him.

"Sheppard looks like hell," Ronon offered.

"I don't think he'll last in the cage," McKay told them.

"Do not sell him short, Rodney, John is stronger than you think," Teyla observed.

"Normally I'd agree with you, but there's no telling what kind of hell he's been through. I mean the last time we saw him he was being…being torn apart by some creature straight out of your worst nightmare…and he doesn't recognize us," McKay said.

"I know, Rodney, but we have to believe he will remember who we are," Emmagan told him.

"I watched his face…he knows more than he lets on," Ronon offered.

"You really think so?" McKay asked hopefully.

"He was staring at you…like he was trying to remember," the Satedan explained.

"There has to be a way for us to stop Hawk putting him in the cage," Teyla said.

"There is nothing you can do to stop it without revealing who you are," Shariel told them. "We have to stick to the plan and meet with Hawk after everyone else leaves. It's the only way Kudrone and your friend can escape from him."

"I know you're right, Shariel, but seeing Sheppard so…"

"Beaten," Suduko interrupted the Canadian.

"Yes, seeing Sheppard so beaten is hard…I keep thinking…"

"Rodney, you did what had to be done and no one blames you for what happened," Teyla assured him.

"I blame myself…"

"Don't…Sheppard knew what he was doing when he ordered you to blow the ship," Ronon explained and saw the sadness in McKay's eyes before he turned away.

"Rodney, we will get John back…the way he was…"

"I hope so, Teyla, because anything else is just…just not acceptable," the Canadian said seriously.

"I know you are all worried about your friend, but we must remain calm until the time is right. If Hawk sees anything suspicious he will take both John and Kudrone and disappear before we know what's happened," Shariel told them.

Teyla knew the others understood what Shariel was saying and wished things were different, but right now they had to wait, or chance losing their only contact with John Sheppard. She lay back down and closed her eyes as the others continued to talk in hushed tones.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

John lay awake long after Hawk had fallen into a deep sleep. He couldn't understand why he was being drawn toward another slave owned by another slaver. Who were they and where had they come from? Did he know the stranger with the familiar face or was he just grasping at straws?

John closed his eyes as images flashed faster than his mind could process and yet there were two faces that seemed to be a constant for him. 'Who are you?' he thought and turned on his side, fighting to stay awake even as sleep beckoned to him. His dreams were filled with creatures that sucked the life from his body while others sought to tear him apart. He moaned deep in his throat and curled into a ball on the small cot as he reached for the stranger who'd come for him.

"Rodney…help me…"

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

There'd been a couple of matches early in the day, but for the most part his guests were here to watch this challenge. Hawk knew John was stronger than most of the slavers thought, but even he had doubts about whether John could take Glayne. Syngy's slave was well built and had a natural strength and agility to him. From what he'd seen of the man he could take down anyone he faced, but John had already surprised him once…could he do it again?

"Hawk, there's still time…"

"Kudrone, be silent or I will have you muzzled," Hawk warned and turned to John. "Are you ready?"

"Would it matter if I said no?" John asked.

"No…"

"Didn't think so," John said and shrugged out of the rough shirt. He could feel people watching him and turned toward the group who seemed to be watching the proceedings with distaste. He turned to face Kudrone who whose eyes were filled with sadness and wished he could do or say something to show how much he appreciated everything Kudrone had done for him.

"It is time," Hawk said and led the 'slave' toward the opening where Syngy and Glayne waited for them.

"Are you sure your slave is able to fight, Hawk?" Syngy asked.

"Don't let his looks deceive you, Syngy, John might just surprise you," the big man said and motioned for John to enter the cage. "John, just do what comes naturally."

"Glayne, take him down and I will set you free," Syngy said, desperately wanting to defeat Hawk's slave and humiliate the bigger man. She knew Glayne did not want his freedom, but it was something she wanted John to hear because she knew from talking with other slavers that John coveted the idea of freedom.

John could hear the people shouting out wagers and sought out the familiar stranger as if he alone represented salvation. His eyes locked with the other man's and he felt a touch of familiarity before being forced to face his opponent.

John took a deep breath, hoping that Glayne was clumsy, yet he knew Syngy would never put someone in this position if she didn't think she could win. He could feel Glayne watching him as the door to the cage was closed, signaling the start of the challenge.

John moved on the balls of his feet, ducking to the left when Glayne pretended to reach for him, and barely managed to escape the man's outstretched hands. John drove his right hand up into his foe's abdomen, while making a sweeping motion with his legs that nearly brought Glayne to his knees. Unfortunately the bigger man was more agile than John realized and managed to escape his sweeping leg.

Rodney could only watch as the fight began and wished he could do something to stop it, but like Teyla's fight the day before he was forced to watch and pray. He couldn't even show any sign of excitement when John managed to get in a powerful blow to his opponent's lower back. He heard a low guttural sound from beside him and knew Ronon was fighting to stay where he was.

"John can handle himself," Teyla told them softly, but kept her attention on the cage.

Glayne was surprised and amused at Hawk's slave. The man knew some fighting moves that were not known to regular fighters, and he wondered whether he'd underestimated the man's abilities. He moved quickly, dodging left and right in an effort to get closer to the man he knew only as John, but received several blows to his own body as a result of mis-stepping. He knew he could defeat John, but it was going to take a lot more than he expected.

John acted quickly each time Glayne tried to get too close, but there were times when even his instincts were not fast enough to escape the man's fists. He knew his ribs had broken under one well placed blow, and tried to ignore the knifing agony in his right side. He kicked at Glayne with his right foot and connected solidly, sending his opponent against the opposite side of the cage. There were shouts from those watching, but John knew Glayne was far from finished. Syngy's 'slave' was quick to recover and managed to land two solid punches to John's chest.

John staggered backward and found himself jammed against the wall of the cage as Glayne pressed his advantage and brought his right knee up into John's groin. There was white hot pain throughout his gut, but he couldn't let that stop him as Glayne struck his face several times before John managed to dislodge him by using the cage as leverage. He pushed off with all his strength and was rewarded when Glayne lost his balance and fell sideways.

Ronon could barely contain his rage at seeing John Sheppard being forced to fight when it was obvious he was in no shape to do so. He wanted to step into the cage and kill Glayne, and a hand on his arm and a glance at Teyla told him he wasn't alone in his thoughts.

"Teyla…"

"I know, Ronon, but to do so would do him no good. We must wait until we are secure in the knowledge that we can help him escape from Hawk," Teyla observed and turned to see the look of hatred cross Rodney McKay's face as he watched the fight taking place before them.

Rodney could not understand how John Sheppard not only stayed on his feet after the devastating blows he'd received, but continued to deliver several well placed ones of his own. Oh, he knew Sheppard could kill, hell, he'd seen him do so on more than a few occasions, but he'd never been so beaten…so frail looking. '_God forgive me,'_ McKay thought as flashes of horrific images invaded his mind. He closed his eyes and wished he could take Sheppard's place, but right now that would just get them all killed and John would remain a slave to the smug sonofabitch sipping some kind of liquid nearby.

John continued to fight with everything he had left and soon had Glayne staggering away from him. Blood dripped into his right eye and he quickly swiped at it, while keeping an eye on his nemesis. God, he hurt…more than he ever remembered hurting before and yet he could not quit, not when they…not when he was watching him. Glayne's rage was easy to see as the man straightened and lashed out with his right foot.

John sidestepped, but didn't quite escape as the man changed tactics and drove his right fist into John's abdomen. The air was driven from his lungs as Glayne pressed forward, striking several devastating blows to John's body and head. John tried to shake the effects, but once again was forced against the cage as Glayne renewed his aggressive attack. John's head snapped back, but he refused to quit as he brought his left knee up into his opponent's groin at the same time shoving his upper body until he overbalanced on his left leg.

John took advantage of the other man's mis-step and hit him several times until Glayne went down hard and lay still. John remained in place, waiting to see if Glayne was faking or if he was really down for good this time. He could hear Syngy cursing him, and turned to see Hawk watching him with a half smile before opening the door of the cage.

"It is done, John, you have done well," Hawk told him.

"I…he…will he be o…okay?" John asked as Syngy knelt beside her slave.

"He is not your concern," Syngy said and reached into a scabbard at her side. She pulled a long dangerous looking knife from it and lifted it with an angry cry.

"No!" John screamed and threw himself at the slaver before she could kill him. John cried out as the knife was buried deep in his upper chest and stared down at the handle protruding from his body.

"You bitch!" Hawk raged and shoved Syngy away as John's legs gave out and his eyes began to close. "Kudrone, Get in here!"

"She…she would have…have killed h…him…"

"That is her right, You Fool!" Hawk snarled angrily.

"Can't let her kill…helpless…"

"Yes, you are helpless here…"

"Not me…him…defend him…self…"

"Do you think he would have defended you if I decided to take your life?"

"Don't know…don't care…" John said and frowned when he noticed the man standing at the door. _'McKay,'_ he thought as consciousness deserted him.

"Hawk, we need to get him out of here," Kudrone ordered, reaching out to stop Hawk from pulling the knife from the wound. "Leave it until we get him back to your chambers."

"All right," Hawk agreed and lifted John into his arms, cradling the unconscious man against his chest. "The challenges are over…collect your people and leave as soon as the solar storms are over."

Kudrone pushed past the people who stood outside the door and reluctantly ignored Shariel as he led Hawk away from the cages. He knew John's life was in danger, knew how much damage could be hidden below the surface and prayed he had enough training to save the man.

Rodney, Teyla, and Ronon could only stand by and watch as John was taken from them again. Before they'd had a chance to move against Hawk, Shariel had told them that Kudrone had the ability and training to save their friend, but the irate trio wished Carson Beckett was here.

McKay knew there'd been too much blood and felt his legs buckle as John was carried past him. No matter what happened now, McKay knew he was the one responsible for putting John Sheppard in the bastard's hands and vowed that he would be the one to kill Hawk when the time came.

"We should get back to my chambers and wait for Hawk to send for us," Shariel suggested.

"Do you think he'll still agree to meeting with us?" Teyla asked.

"He enjoys seeing me grovel, so yes, he will," Shariel vowed and listened while the other slavers exited the area of the cage. She hoped John Sheppard lived, but her priority was to get Kudrone away from Hawk for good this time.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

Hawk eased the unconscious man onto his bed and turned to see Kudrone rush forward with his pack of supplies. John was paler than he'd ever thought possible and he wondered if letting him fight had been such a wise idea after all.

"Hawk, I need to get that knife out, but he's losing so much blood."

"Can you replace it?"

"If we had someone from his species we could, but there's no way of knowing…"

"I'll find out if one of the other slavers has anyone that matches his DNA…"

"And blood type…we need to make sure they have the same blood type or he'll die anyway!" Kudrone warned. "This wound is bad, Hawk, and we don't even know what other damage was done during the fight!"

"Keep him alive, Kudrone; just keep him alive until I find another like him!" Hawk said, reluctantly leaving the injured slave in the Kudrone's care.

TBC


	33. Chapter 33

Remember, Never to Forget---33

Shariel knew the three Atlantians were worried about their friend, but until Hawk sent for them there was nothing they could do to help him. She watched as Rodney McKay paced back and forth across the floor and knew the man was angry enough to kill Hawk on sight. The same could be said of Teyla Emmagan and Ronon Dex, and she turned to see Suduko watching them and hoped the big man could talk sense into them when the time came.

"What the hell is taking so long?" McKay spat.

"Rodney, Hawk does not know who we are and therefore we are not a priority to him," Teyla explained.

"Teyla is right," Shariel agreed. "As far as Hawk is concerned we have nothing to do with John Sheppard so he has no reason to come to us."

"Then we should go to him!" Dex said, standing and slamming his fist against the wall as the feeling of helpless rage raced through him.

"That would only get him killed and expose the reason you came here," Suduko told them. "You have no idea what Hawk is like or what he's capable of. Slavers like him don't give a damn about their property as long as they have control. You go attacking him while others of his kind are here and you lose any chance of freeing your friend. Is that what you want?"

"No…but we need…"

"Rodney, it won't be long until the others leave…" Shariel said silencing them when she heard someone outside her door.

"Shariel, I know you are in there so open the door now!"

She motioned for the others to be silent before opening the door and revealing her host. "To what do I owe this pleasant surprise, Hawk?"

"Cut the crap, Shariel…I need your help!"

"Tell me what you need?"

"My slave was badly injured…"

"Is Kudrone helping him?"

"He's doing what he can, but I need to find someone from his world. We both know he's Atlantian, but Kudrone says he also has to find someone's who has the same blood as he does. I have checked with Syngy and Piatra and several others, but so far there is no one. Are any of your slaves…"

"I do not know where my slaves are from, Hawk, but if Kudrone wishes to test them he is more than welcome to," Shariel told him.

"I will be indebted to you, Shariel…"

"Will you release Kudrone?"

"I will think on it, but right now it is important that we find a match for John," Hawk told her. "Come, and bring them along."

Rodney could not believe what was happening. Were they really going to see John? Would either of them be a match to John Sheppard? God, he wished he'd paid more attention to Carson Beckett and his talk of medicine and how it was a science.

"Rodney, we must go," Teyla told him and watched as he tried to shake off whatever he'd been thinking about. She walked beside him as Ronon moved to his right side as if forming a protective barrier for the scientist.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

God, there was so much pain and he couldn't understand why it hurt so much to breathe. John tried to focus on the hands that touched him, but no matter how hard he tried it seemed pain was his whole world. He tried to move, but cried out as it felt like his chest was torn open.

"Just lay still, John," Kudrone ordered, wishing they were back at Hawk's home where he had better equipment to care for the injured man. Hawk had been gone for nearly an hour now, and it seemed as if John had grown even paler than ever before. There was no doubt in his mind that John would die if he didn't find someone who was a match to him. If Hawk didn't arrive soon it could very well be too late anyway.

"Hurts…God…"

"I know it does, John, but I'm going to give you something to help with that," Kudrone said and injected the medication into the 'slave's' veins. The lines of pain eased within seconds of the injection, but John's eyes remained unfocussed as Kudrone continued to clean his wounds.

"What hap….happened?"

"You were a hero, John, but you were hurt…"

"Where's…Carson?"

"Who?"

"Carson…he's…he's….I don't know," John answered as the dark veil descended over his mind and left him with little or no memory of his life before Shazzia captured him. John turned his head when he heard footsteps and recognized the man who owned him, but it was the shorter one following that caught his attention. _'Rodney,' _he thought, but didn't say the name for fear of causing the other man harm.

"Kudrone, Shariel has agreed to let you check her slaves to see if there's a match for John," Hawk explained and looked into the injured slave's eyes. "John, you will not die!"

"May not…have a ch…choice," John whispered.

"You will not die, John!" Hawk ordered and sat on the edge of the bed as Kudrone moved to check the newcomers. "One of these people will be a match for you and you'll get the blood you need. It will not take long, John, and then the transfusion will be done and you'll survive and grow strong."

John closed his eyes, but remained conscious as he felt rather than saw Rodney close by. What was it about this man that made him think of a friend….closer than friend…a brother…one who could help him? How could one man stand against Hawk? How could he win against someone with so much power, yet John knew deep down that Rodney would do just that if the need arose. He felt himself drifting on the wave of warmth stemming from whatever medication Kudrone gave him, but it was nothing compared to the warmth of friendship he felt at the closeness of Rodney McKay.

Rodney heard the clicks and beeps of whatever instrument Kudrone was using to test him, but his eyes kept straying to the unconscious man across the room. He felt the small prick of a needle, but it didn't really faze him as he searched the pale face for signs of life. He wanted so badly to grab the bastard seated on the bed and tear him apart, but right now it was too dangerous with Hawk's people and his colleagues still in the chambers.

Rodney rubbed his arm when Kudrone removed the needle and felt someone watching him. He sucked air deep into his lungs when he realized Hawk's hard eyes were seeing right through him and forced himself to lower his own eyes. He breathed through clenched teeth and hoped he hadn't given anything away.

"Kudrone, when will you know if one of them is a match?" Hawk asked softly, his eyes fixed on the man rubbing his arm.

"It should not take long, Hawk, I just need to run the sample through several diagnostic tests and if one of them is a close enough match we can do a transfusion immediately," Kudrone answered. He could feel Shariel nearby and wanted to take her in his arms, but for now a man's life depended on him giving his full attention to the injured 'slave'.

Hawk nodded in understanding and returned his attention to the man standing with Kudrone. What was it about him that made Hawk think he was a predator, one who would gladly take John from him? Did this man have any ties to John, or was he just a slave as Shariel had said. He turned to see the slaver watching Kudrone and wondered if she were trying to deceive him. It did not matter, for now he needed her help because he did not want this particular slave to die…it would be like losing a part of himself.

Kudrone took a small sample of blood from each of Shariel's slaves and tested them several times before turning to Hawk. "I need to access the computer."

"Do it," Hawk ordered and waited for Kudrone to complete his tests.

"Hawk, we need to talk when Kudrone is finished."

"Not now, Shariel, I will see you when I am sure Kudrone has done his job," Hawk told her as Kudrone turned away from the computer. "Well?"

"There is a match…"

"Which one?" Hawk asked.

"That one," Hawk said and pointed to Rodney McKay. "He has the Ancient Gene, but it is nowhere as strong as John's and I will need to run it through a cleansing process to make sure John does not have a bad reaction to it."

"How long will that take?" Hawk asked.

"I can set it up so that the machine cleanses the blood after it leaves him and before it enters John," Kudrone explained.

'_Like Dialyses,"_ McKay thought, amazed that he hadn't realized he and John Sheppard had the same blood type. '_Wait until he finds out he's got my blood running through his veins.'_

"Rodney, we are going to set up a bed next to John's and then we'll place some equipment between the beds. Once you are hooked up you will not be allowed to sit up or move around much until the process is complete," Kudrone explained.

"What if I don't want to do this?" McKay asked and prayed Ronon and Teyla would understand what he was doing. He didn't want Hawk to see how anxious he was to help a man he was not supposed to know. One look at Teyla and Ronon told him they understood exactly what he was doing.

"Rodney, you will do as Kudrone orders or I will have you punished and strapped to the bed until the process is complete," Shariel warned, her eyes dark as she stared at the male 'slave'.

"But…"

"You heard your owner, Rodney, now sit down and be quiet!" Kudrone ordered.

Rodney continued to complain as he sat down on a chair near the bed, but to those who knew him they knew it was all for show. He would have done anything to help John Sheppard; including giving up his blood...all of it if that's what it took. He watched as several pieces of equipment were pushed up to John's bed, but had no idea what they were for and wished he'd paid more attention to Carson Beckett's medical explanations.

Hawk moved to stand with Shariel and watched as Kudrone expertly set up the equipment he'd be using. "How did you come by these new slaves, Shariel?"

"I told you where I found Teyla…"

"Yes, you did, but what of the other two?"

"I bought them from a traveling slaver who needed to make room for several new slaves he acquired. They are very good specimens don't you think?"

"The big one looks like he could be a fighter," Hawk offered. "The other one looks weak."

"Rodney is smart, Hawk, I believe he is as smart as Kudrone and I am hoping he can help unlock some Ancient Technology we discovered," Shariel explained.

"Perhaps we should allow Kudrone and Rodney to work together and see what answers they come up with," Hawk suggested.

"We could simply trade…I give you Rodney and you give me Kudrone."

"Not a chance," Hawk told her.

"It was worth a try," Shariel said as Kudrone began hooking Rodney up to the equipment.

"Rodney, we'll be taking a couple of pints…"

"Is that safe? I mean when I gave blood before they only took a pint," McKay said, not wanting Hawk to know exactly how much he knew about the procedure, although the truth was it wasn't very much.

"It is safe, Rodney," Kudrone assured him and taped the needle in place before turning on the pumping system and watching the readouts before repeating the procedure with the unconscious slave. It took nearly fifteen minutes to have Rodney's blood running through the system and into John's arm.

"Is it working?" Hawk asked.

"I won't know for some time, Hawk. John's readings are extremely low and it will take time for Rodney's blood to go through the cleansing process…"

"How long?"

"A couple of hours…maybe longer," Kudrone answered as Hawk sat on the edge of the bed. Kudrone could not quite grasp what it was about John that made Hawk react so strangely to him. Could Hawk have feelings for John? Was that it?

McKay lay back and watched through hooded eyes as his blood slowly entered John Sheppard's body and hoped it was enough to give the man…his friend a fighting chance. The Colonel had been through so much, hell of it was Rodney didn't have the slightest idea of what had happened to him since that fateful day when he'd finally obeyed an order and thought he'd killed the one man who seemed to understand him.

Teyla and Ronon could do nothing but watch and anxiously wait the outcome of the transfusion. The fact that McKay was a match was a blessing, but there was something about the way Hawk was watching John Sheppard that didn't feel right.

"We need to get Sheppard out of here," Ronon told her.

"I agree, Ronon, but there is not much we can do until the storms end. Major Lorne and Major Wallace will act as soon as the other ships leave," Emmagan said and grew quiet when Shariel shook her head and motioned for them to be quiet. They stood back and watched what was happening, hoping the storms would end soon and that Lorne and Wallace could come to their rescue.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

Evan Lorne looked at the readings and knew the solar storm was losing some of its ferocity. It would not be long before they'd be able to maneuver the Puddle Jumpers into position. Once that happened they would wait for the signal from Shariel that it was time to attack.

"Evan, are you seeing this?"

"I see it, Hank," Lorne answered the call from Wallace.

"It looks like the storm is losing some of its force," Wallace said.

"If Shariel is correct then the other slavers should be leaving as soon as the storms end," Lorne observed.

"I just hope she's correct in her estimates of how many slavers there are."

"I know, but no matter what happens we need to get our people out of there," Lorne told him.

"That's our top priority…and we can do it as long as Shariel gave us the correct information."

"I don't think she'd steer us wrong…not when she has someone she cares about in there."

"I just wish we had some way of finding out if McKay and the others are all right," Wallace told him.

"Just be ready when the time comes and we'll get them all out of there in one piece…"

"Including Colonel Sheppard," Wallace vowed.

"Including Colonel Sheppard," Lorne vowed as the other man grew silent. One way or the other they would get their friends out of this mess and he hoped they'd have reason to contact Atlantis with good news.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

Hawk knew Shariel had taken her slaves, except for the man called Rodney, back to her quarters with the promise that he would speak with her about Kudrone once the crisis was past. John still looked pale, too pale, but Kudrone had told him the numbers were getting better.

The slave named Rodney seemed to be sleeping and Kudrone had told him that was normal and that he would be tired once disconnected from the transfusion equipment. He'd told Shariel she could have anything she needed to build Rodney's strength back up.

Hawk leaned forward as a soft whisper of air escaped John's throat and watched as the eyes moved beneath near translucent lids. "John, look at me."

"What…what happened?"

"You were hurt," Hawk explained and understood his slave would be confused about how he'd be injured, but his memory would return eventually.

"Who…who's he?" John managed and motioned to the figure in the other bed.

"He is one of Shariel's slaves. His name is Rodney…"

"Rodney?" John whispered the name and closed his eyes tiredly. "Is he…was he hurt too?"

"No, he helped save your life. You lost a lot of blood and Kudrone said you needed a transfusion. Rodney was the only one who matched you," Hawk explained.

"I owe him…"

"No, you owe his owner for allowing him to donate blood to you," Hawk told him.

"He's a slave too?" John asked sympathetically.

"Yes, he is, but that is of no concern to you, John. You must rest and regain your strength," Hawk explained as Kudrone moved to unhook the equipment and check both his patients. "Give him something to help him sleep, Kudrone."

"I will, Hawk, but I want to make sure he's strong enough to handle the medication," Kudrone explained.

"I don't ne….need anything," John tried, but one look at Hawk told him the man didn't believe a word he was saying. It wasn't long before Kudrone injected something into his arm and his eyelids grew heavy once more.

"Kudrone, will he be all right now?"

"I don't know, Hawk, it will take time and we should not move him for a while, yet I'd rather we were home where I have more equipment than I have here," Kudrone explained.

"We will stay here until you say it is safe to move him," Hawk said and motioned to the other slave. "Have him returned to Shariel's quarters."

"He should stay here until…"

"I want him out of here, Kudrone!" Hawk snapped and knew his orders would be obeyed as Kudrone gently shook the other man until his eyes opened.

"Huh…what?" McKay griped.

"It is time you returned to your mistress," Kudrone explained.

"My what?" McKay asked in confusion.

"Your mistress…your owner," Kudrone offered.

"How is he?" McKay asked and motioned toward Sheppard.

"He is of no concern to you, Slave," Hawk warned. "Go with Kudrone."

Rodney knew there was no choice and forced himself to stand up and move away from John Sheppard. It was one of the hardest things he'd ever done in his life, but to do otherwise would only get him killed. Right now he had to think of Sheppard and what was best for him. He made it to the open door, but had to grab the wall as a wave of dizziness washed over him.

"Lean on me, Rodney," Kudrone ordered when he noticed how pale the man had grown.

"Doesn't he understand how hard it is to give blood? I need something with sugar…something…"

"I'll have something sent to Shariel's quarters," Kudrone told him and led the way out of Hawk's chambers.

"He looks so damn pale," McKay whispered.

"He is weak and should be allowed to rest, but Hawk will not allow us to coddle him. He will have him up as soon as he thinks John is strong enough," Kudrone told him.

"Can't you do something to stop him?"

"I wish I could, but I am as helpless as you are. Do as Shariel tells you to and maybe we will all get out of this in one piece."

"I hope you're right, Kudrone because I am not leaving without John," McKay vowed once they reached the door to Shariel's quarters. He held onto the wall and waited for Kudrone to open, not all that surprised when Ronon reached out to grab him as his legs gave out.

"Put him on the bed, Ronon," Teyla ordered and pulled back the blankets.

"I'm okay…"

"No, You're not, but you will be if you do as I say and rest," Kudrone ordered and turned to Shariel. "I will arrange to have food and drink brought to you…make sure he eats and drinks plenty of fluids and don't let him get out of that bed for at least 24 hours."

"I will, Kudrone…are you all right?"

"No, I'm not…I hate being here…I want to hold you, but he won't let that happen. Do what you can to help these people get John away from Hawk before it is too late…before he kills him," Kudrone warned.

"We will get you both out of here…just do what he says until the others have left," Shariel told him.

"I will do what I can…but John is weak and it would be unwise to move him for several days."

"We may not have a choice," Shariel said, reluctantly releasing her hold on Kudrone. "Be careful."

"You too," Kudrone told her before leaving the room and leaning against the outer wall. He wanted so badly to be free of Hawk, to spend his life wrapped in Shariel's comforting arms, but he knew in his heart that Hawk would never release him. With a silent cry for help he moved back to Hawk's quarters and the task of caring for John while Hawk stood watch over them both.

TBC


	34. Chapter 34

Remember, Never to Forget---34

Hawk knew he was letting his emotions run wild as he watched over his sleeping slave. John had succumbed to blood loss and medications nearly four hours ago and only Kudrone had been allowed entrance to his chambers, but he'd sent the other man away once John was sleeping. John's face was pale except where bruises had spread across the right side of his face. The white bandages covering his chest did not quite cover the livid bruises that formed around the knife wound, and Hawk silently cursed Syngy for injuring his property.

The Solar storms were dying down and the other slavers were slowly leaving the underground chambers. The only ones still present were Syngy, Piatra, and Shariel. Shariel was still waiting to have a private meeting with him, but he wasn't ready to speak with her yet. Piatra was in the process of leaving, but Syngy would remain until she was satisfied John would be punished for his interference in her treatment of her property.

John had been sleeping for several hours, but was showing signs of coming too during the last half hour. His eyes moved beneath closed lids and a soft moan escaped tightly clenched lips as he shifted on the bed. Hawk reached out and placed his hand on John's shoulder and waited for the man's eyes to open and focus on him.

"Be still, John," Hawk ordered.

"What…happened?" John managed.

"You were injured when you made a foolish gesture," Hawk growled, angered that his property had foolishly tried to be a hero. He could tell John was in pain, but he needed to let the 'slave' know that he'd made a stupid mistake. "You are not to interfere in my guest's business…"

"He would…would have killed him…"

"That is his right, John, and he would be within his rights to demand that you be punished for your interference."

"Hawk, I need to check his wounds."

"I told you I was not to be disturbed!" Hawk snarled.

"I know, but it is time, Hawk. I need to check his chest wound and the marks on his back or they could get infected," Kudrone warned.

"Be careful, Kudrone…"

"That's what I am doing, Hawk, his life depends on it."

"As does yours," Hawk warned and moved away in order to allow Kudrone to check over the wounded man.

"Easy, John," Kudrone said as he eased the bandages away from the chest wound. The skin around the stitches looked raw and oozed a substance that spoke of infection and Kudrone silently wished they were back in Hawk's fortress. He knew he had to clean it and the whip marks that criss-crossed his back, but hated the idea of causing more pain.

Hawk stood back and watched Kudrone work and knew the man was doing everything he could to make sure John's wounds were kept clean. He leaned against the wall and watched John's face and frowned when he thought about the name John seemed to speak so often when he wasn't thinking straight.

Rodney…that name had been said on several occasions and whether she knew it or not, Shariel had brought along a man who could very well be the same one John was calling for. It could have been a coincidence that Shariel's newest acquisition was called Rodney, but for him to have the same blood type and the Ancient Gene went far beyond that.

Hawk moved back to the injured man and pulled Kudrone away as anger flared in his eyes, giving them a dark obsidian glow. "John, who is Rodney?"

"I don't know!" John answered, crying out as Hawk pressed his hand against the wound, igniting a g=fire deep inside him. His body shook with pain as he gripped the edge of the bed he lay on.

"Hawk, you'll kill him!" Kudrone warned as blood stained the 'slaver's' hand. "Hawk!"

"Stay out of this, Kudrone!" Hawk snarled and shoved the other man away. "Who is Rodney and why are you protecting him?"

"I don't…don't re…member….GOD!"

"I do not believe you, John!" Hawk snapped and continued to put pressure on the wound. "Who is Rodney?"

"I don't know!"

"He is telling the truth, Hawk!" Kudrone tried and reached for the bigger man as the color drained from John's face. "Hawk, Stop!"

"Who is Rodney?"

Kudrone knew there was nothing he could do to help John, but he also knew Shariel could if he reached her in time. He raced from Hawk's chambers and along the corridors until he reached Shariel's quarters. He didn't bother knocking, but threw open the door and hurried inside to find Shariel and the others talking quietly at the small table.

"Kudrone, what is wrong?" Shariel asked rushing to his side and leading him to a chair.

"You have to…to stop him…he'll kill him!" Kudrone managed breathlessly.

"Stop who?" Shariel asked as Teyla handed the man a cup of water.

"Hawk thinks John is faking his memory loss and he's hurting him…"

"Where are they?" Ronon snarled.

"In Hawk's quarters," Kudrone explained.

"Ronon, wait!" Teyla tried, but Rodney had already joined the Satedan and she understood exactly how they felt as she hurriedly joined them.

"We have to help them!" Kudrone said sharply.

"No, they will do what they can to save him...you must rest…"

"No, you do not understand, Shariel…John offered to fight for my freedom and I will not turn my back on him now!" Kudrone said and stood up.

"We will go together, but you must let us handle this!" Shariel warned and led him from her chambers.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

John had never felt such pain and his vision blurred, but Hawk did not stop, even as darkness wavered at the edge of his vision. He knew he was dying, there was no one to stop that from happening now and he sank toward the vision that played across his mind. It was a wondrous place with high towers surrounded by an ocean whose turbulent waves struck against the lower levels in a welcoming symphony of sound.

"Is the man with Shariel the Rodney you're asking for, John?" Hawk snarled and leaned closer to the semi conscious slave. "Is that it, John? Are they here to rescue you?"

"Stop…stop…God…"

"Not until you answer my question, John! Tell me about Rodney or so help me I'll kill you now!"

"…least free…free then…"

"Damn you!" Hawk screamed and released his hold on the 'slave's' chest before pulling him to his feet and shaking him until their eyes met. "You will never be free of me!"

"Let him go!" Ronon shouted as he stepped through the open door.

Hawk reacted instantly and pulled the injured man around as if using him as a shield. He wrapped a beefy arm around John's chest as Rodney, Teyla, Shariel, and Kudrone entered the room.

"Hawk, release him!" Shariel ordered and tried to control Kudrone who seemed hell bent on reaching his former owner.

"Shariel, get your slaves out of here!" Hawk ordered and glared at his 'slave'. "Kudrone, get over here…"

"He does not take orders from you anymore, Hawk!" Shariel spat and watched as Ronon slowly made his way deeper into the chambers. She knew the big man was trying to get in a better position to attack, and tried to keep Hawk's attention focused on her.

"Did you know who he is when you brought him here, Shariel?" Hawk spat, shifting the dazed man from one arm to the other.

"Who?"

"Him…Rodney…John's been asking for him…"

"Please, let me help him," McKay tried.

"You will die before I let you anywhere near him," Hawk warned and reached for the knife in the hidden scabbard at his side. With a quick flick of his wrist he threw it toward the other man, smiling when it struck him in the shoulder.

"Rod…Rodney…" John cried and struggled to get free, but Hawk's arm tightened around his waist. John didn't have the strength to fight and allowed his eyes to close even as Hawk's grip suddenly loosened and he dropped heavily to the floor.

"Rodney, be still," Teyla warned before moving toward John Sheppard and dragging him away from the fighting men who no longer seemed aware they were not alone.

"Shariel, we need to get them out of here!" Kudrone ordered as he looked at the two injured men.

"The others have already left," Shariel explained. "There should only be Hawk's men in the chambers and we can handle them."

"Ronon…"

"Go, Teyla, I got this bas…tard!" Ronon said, ducking away as Hawk lashed out with his right fist.

"We don't leave anyone be…hind!" McKay whispered through tightly clenched teeth as the sound of P90s reached their ears.

"Sounds like help is here," Teyla said as she pressed a thick piece of clothe against John's wound, surprised to find his eyes open as if searching for something or someone. "John, be still…"

"Rod…ney…"

"I'm here…" McKay managed as Kudrone examined the wound to his shoulder. He stared at Sheppard, hating how pale and gaunt he looked and prayed they had time to get him back to Atlantis. He turned his eyes to see Ronon connect solidly with his left fist. "Make him pay, Ronon!"

"I'm on it," Dex said, smiling when Hawk struck him in the side. He knew he'd be black and blue when this fight was over, but after seeing what Hawk had done to John Sheppard he vowed to make the slaver suffer.

John heard the fight taking place nearby, but he couldn't tear his eyes from the welcome sight beside him. Rodney was here…he'd come for him and now John could relax. He let his eyes close and sighed heavily, aware that he was no longer at the mercy of his 'owner'…at least for now.

Ronon paid no attention to what was happening around him as he fought the man who'd caused his friend so much pain. He knew Teyla, Kudrone, and Shariel would care for Sheppard and McKay, but it was up to him to deal with Hawk. He landed several blows to Hawk's chest and abdomen, forcing his opponent backward with such force that Hawk actually staggered, but managed to stay on his feet.

"Shariel will pay for this!" Hawk warned as blood and spittle ran down his chin. He kicked out at Ronon's leg and connected solidly with his shin, but the man stayed his ground.

"You won't be making anyone pay!" Ronon warned and managed to stay away from Hawk's fists long enough to throw a left hook into the man's nose. He quickly blocked several attempts by Hawk to get inside, and landed a kick to the other man's knee. He thought he heard something give, but there was o sign of it from his enemy.

'_Where the hell are my guards?'_ Hawk thought as he dodged to the right and brought his fist up into the other man's ribs. He had underestimated Ronon's ability to fight and knew he could not make that same mistake again as his opponent once more pressed his advantage.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

As soon as the last ship left orbit, Lorne had given the order to move in. They had the location of Hawk's underground chambers and were reading McKay, Teyla, and Ronon's subcutaneous tracking devices. Wallace would take his team and search through the area Shariel had described as the fighting cages, while he'd take his team and find McKay and the others.

Lorne signaled his men forward as gunfire broke out deeper in the caverns. He recognized the sound of P90s and hoped Hank could handle whatever he faced, because he had his own hands full with the guards who were blocking the corridor. Several smaller access corridors branched out further back and he'd sent four men to check hem out while he kept two with him and returned fire.

"Major, I think they got the guards," Paula Downing explained as the gunfire stopped.

"Don't shoot…"

"That's Donaldson," Downing said as she watched Lorne stand and move toward the bend.

"Donaldson…"

"It's all clear, Major!" Donaldson shouted and smiled when they joined him. "We caught them from behind."

"Nice job, but we're not finished," Lorne said and took out the detector. He pointed further along the corridor and took the lead, hoping they wouldn't run into any more trouble.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

Hank Wallace led his team along the edge of corridor and motioned for them to follow him in two man teams. He could hear voices up ahead, and signaled for everyone to be quiet as he took a quick look around the corner. There were four men seated at the edge of a large cave, but Hank wanted to make sure there were no surprises before making their move.

Wallace lifted his hand and signaled for two of his team to backtrack to the secondary branch before making their way to the opposite side of the cages. He could hear the four men talking and listened as their conversation turned to something that made his blood run cold.

"Did you see Hawk's reaction when Syngy stabbed the slave?"

"I saw him…I wonder if he will go after her?"

"Not until the slave is out of danger, but I think Syngy better watch his back."

"I would hate to be him when Hawk decides it is…"

"Quiet…"

"You be quiet…"

"Listen…I think someone is out there…"

Wallace knew it was time to act and lifted his hand to motion the others forward. They heard gunfire and hoped the other members of his team were in position. He lifted his P90 and fired at a man who was reaching for the rifle at his side. The man's hands never touched it as a bullet pierced his chest and drove him backward off his chair.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

Kudrone knew he could do nothing for Rodney or John until the fight was over. There was still sporadic gunfire from deeper in the chambers, but he could also hear shouting from the other side of the closed door. He could only watch as the fight continued and Ronon threw Hawk across the small table before attacking him again. There was blood everywhere and he knew no matter who was the victor he would be in need of medical attention and the loser would probably be beyond anyone's help.

"Rodney, be still," Teyla warned when the man tried to move closer to John Sheppard.

"How is he, Teyla?" Rodney managed weakly.

"He needs Carson," Emmagan said as she eased John's head onto her lap. His eyes remained closed, but she knew he was awake as a soft moan escaped tightly clenched teeth. "It's okay, John…"

"Rodney…help…"

"I'm here, Sheppard," McKay soothed and reached out to touch his friend as Ronon drove Hawk backward and the door burst open behind them. A weak smile formed when he recognized Evan Lorne and several members of his team.

"Ronon, do you need help?" Lorne asked, raising his P90.

"I'm good," Dex said and continued to drive his opponent back against the wall. He knew he was running on pure adrenalin and prayed it would last long enough for him to put Hawk down for good, but the other man seemed to have gotten a second wind. He shifted back as Hawk tried to grab him and quickly sidestepped when the other man lashed out with his foot.

Hawk knew he was rapidly losing ground and swiped at the blood running into his right eye before kicking at Ronon's leg. He didn't connect fully, but he knew there'd be a bruise when all was said and done. Then again, a bruise would be the least of their worries. He knew he had broken ribs and possible internal injuries, but his body would heal quickly once the fight was over and he had time to rest. Once Dex was dead he would take care of the others and John would find out exactly what his role as a slave would mean from that moment on.

"Ronon, get him!" McKay spat and smiled when Dex drove his foot into the man's abdomen and followed through with an elbow to his head that snapped his neck and sent the hated slaver into the wall.

Ronon stood over him for several long minutes, but the man's eyes remained open and unmoving. There was no sign of life in the battered body and even the chest was free of movement.

"Is he…"

"He's dead," Dex answered as Lorne reached down and touched the unmoving man's neck.

"Ronon's right," Lorne told them.

"We need to get out of here before Hawk's people get word of what happened," Shariel told them.

"Hank, how are things on your end?" Lorne asked through the radio sets.

"Everything's cool here…we've rounded up the guards and locked them in the cages," Wallace explained.

"Fall back to the puddle Jumpers…we're on our way…"

"Did you find Colonel Sheppard?"

"We did and we need to get him back to Atlantis," Lorne advised.

"Do you need us to come for you?"

"No, we can handle it on this end, just make sure there are no surprises," the major explained and watched as an unknown man removed the knife from McKay's right shoulder. He winced sympathetically when a bandage was slapped on it and taped in place.

Ronon sank down next to John Sheppard as the last of his strength left him and knew Hawk had done some major damage to his body. He knew he would be read the riot act once they returned to Atlantis, but for now John Sheppard and Rodney McKay were the ones in need of medical attention. Kudrone seemed to be the only one capable of dealing with the injuries.

"I don't have what I need to help him here," Kudrone said when he looked at John's wounds.

"We need to get him back to Atlantis," Teyla said.

"Too…long," McKay managed. "We could bring them to Suduko's…where is Suduko?"

"I…he was with us at Shariel's quarters," Emmagan explained.

"I thought he was follow…following us," McKay tried.

"Suduko has always managed to take care of himself, but we need to leave here now," Shariel told them.

"What if he's hurt?" Teyla asked.

"We'll check for him while we make our way back to the Jumpers and back to Atlantis," Lorne assure her. He knew they owed Suduko, but right now his priority had to be John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, and Ronon Dex.

"There is a gate in orbit around Grendaub 3," Shariel told them as she helped set up a stretcher to carry the injured 'slave'.

"Ronon, can you make it?" Teyla asked as McKay's arm was place in a makeshift sling and Lorne helped him to his feet.

"I'll make it," Dex managed as he climbed to his feet and watched Kudrone and Teyla ease John Sheppard onto the makeshift stretcher. He looked at the body lying across the room and silently cursed the man for what he'd done to John Sheppard. Somehow his death seemed to be too quick, but Ronon knew there was nothing he could do about that now.

"Lorne, where are you?"

""We're on our way, Hank," Lorne answered.

"Make it fast because we're getting readings of approaching ships," Wallace told him.

"Let's go!" Lorne said and waited for his team to gather the injured and head for the jumpers. "Hank, have your people seen Suduko?"

"Nothing so far…I thought he was with Shariel's people?"

"He was, but he's disappeared," Lorne said and hoped the missing man was safe.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

Suduko silently cursed his stupidity and leaned heavily against the wall as he moved along the corridor. His arm was useless and he knew it was probably broken, but he chalked it up to his own stupidity. He knew he should have gone with the others, but he'd wanted to make sure Lorne and Wallace got the message to attack. He'd been caught in a cross fire and realized too late that McKay's friends were already there. He'd tried to make his way back along the corridor, but had been struck in the shoulder and blacked out.

Suduko had no idea how much time had passed, but when he'd finally come around the gunfire had ceased and the chambers were eerily silent as he made his way toward the hanger bay. He silently cursed his stupidity, but stumbled forward; hoping Shariel and the others had been successful in rescuing the Atlantian. If not he could very well be walking into trouble.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

It was cold, but at least he'd fooled them into thinking he was dead. Kudrone had so many injured on his hands that he didn't think about Hawk's healing capabilities. Sooner or later the other man would remember and that mean he needed to get out of here before they returned.

Hawk crawled to his hands and knees and stayed where he was, willing his healing abilities to start working even as he struggled to his feet and made his way toward a console that would open a secret chamber that led to a small craft only he could operate. With a sharp intake of air, Hawk made his escape and knew he would some day find his 'slave' and teach him about the proper behavior expected of his station.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

McKay leaned heavily against Lorne as they made their way along the darkened corridors and hoped Hank Wallace had taken care of Hawk's guards. A sound from the left made him flinch as Lorne lifted his weapon, but stopped when they recognized Suduko. "What happened to y…you?"

"I got turned around," Suduko told him.

"How bad?" Kudrone asked.

"I believe my shoulder is broken," Suduko answered.

"Could be, but there's nothing I can do until we reach the ships," Kudrone said.

"It'll keep," Suduko told them and moved behind the men carrying the stretcher. There was no doubt in his mind that John Sheppard was in bad shape and it was confirmed when Kudrone ordered them to stop and touched the man's chest.

"He's not breathing!" Kudrone snapped and knew they had to work fast if they wanted to save John's life.

TBC


	35. Chapter 35

Remember, Never to Forget---35

Hank Wallace glanced at his watch and tried to contact Lorne's party, worried when there was no immediate response. He'd ordered his team back to the Jumpers and kept them on their toes while waiting for the others. He tried again to contact Lorne and was glad when the other man's voice came from somewhere down the corridor.

"Hank," Lorne called and led the group into the hangar.

"Thank God, I was just about to send out the troops," Wallace said, his smile slipping when he spotted the rest of the group. "How bad?"

"Bad…we need to get Sheppard out of here now, but he needs immediate medical attention," Lorne answered as Sheppard was carried into the jumper.

"We're leaving!" Trazdia asked angrily and moved to help Suduko. "What about Hawk?"

"Hawk's dead," Lorne offered.

"Are you sure?" Trazdia asked.

"Yes," the major answered.

"We should check…"

"Right now we have wounded who need medical help," Kudrone interrupted as he tried to save John's life. The man needed more help than he could offer and he turned to see Shariel watching him. "We need to get him out of here before Hawk's 'friends' return."

"Kudrone, there is nothing more you can do for John and we must also retreat," Shariel warned.

"I can keep him alive," Kudrone said while Teyla made Rodney and Ronon sit down.

"Can you?" Shariel asked.

"Shariel, I have changed since Hawk bought me and I have learned more than I ever knew before. I can help keep him alive until his friends get him home."

"I found the stargate at Grendaub 3," Lorne called from the front of the Puddle Jumper.

"How long before we reach it?" Teyla asked tiredly while changing the bandage on McKay's arm.

"An hour if we leave now!" Lorne answered. "Hank get your people on board and get moving."

"We'll keep the gate open for you," Wallace vowed, glancing at John Sheppard as if afraid the man would disappear once more.

"Kudrone…"

"Go, Shariel, I'm not leaving him until they reach the gate," Kudrone told her and continued to work on the 'slave'. He'd managed to get the man breathing, but there was so much damage and blood loss it would take a miracle for him to survive.

"I'm not leaving without you," Shariel told him.

"Then tell your men to go to Suduko's world and we'll make sure you get there," Lorne said.

"We need to go now!" Kudrone ordered.

"I'll go with Shariel's ship," Suduko offered and turned Trazdia and his men. "Come, Old Friend, let's go home."

Lorne waited until the others left and closed the rear hatch. The Puddle Jumper looked like it could be the flagship for the walking wounded, and he knew he needed to get to the stargate.

Kudrone looked at the unfamiliar equipment and was relieved when Teyla moved to help him.

"What do you need?" Emmagan asked.

"I want…is there anything that will help give him oxygen?" Kudrone asked.

Teyla nodded and reached for the oxygen mask and quickly placed it over Sheppard's mouth and nose. She watched as the colonel's chest rose and fell with each shallow breath and prayed they had enough time to reach the gate and get him back to Atlantis. It seemed like forever since they'd left to search for the missing man and now they were bringing him home, but would he be the same man? She turned to see Ronon and Rodney watching her and easily read the same worry in their eyes.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

Elizabeth Weir hurried into the control room and watched as Chuck pressed several keys on the console.

"It's Major Wallace's team," Chuck told her.

"Open the gate!" Weir ordered and watched as the iris opened and the shimmering pool took effect just before a Puddle Jumper came through. She hurried down the stairs to the gateroom just as the rear hatch opened and Major Wallace stepped out. "Where are the others?"

"They're not far behind us. We found Colonel Sheppard and he'll need Dr. Beckett…"

Weir ordered a medical emergency to the gateroom and returned her attention to Wallace as the Puddle Jumper was moved away from the front of the gate.

"Colonel Sheppard is in bad shape, Dr. Weir," Wallace explained. "Dr. McKay, Ronon, and Teyla will also need Dr. Beckett's attention."

"John is alive?" Weir asked softly.

"Yes, Ma'am, he is," Wallace answered as Beckett joined them.

"What's happening, Elizabeth?" the CMO asked.

"They found John...he's hurt bad," Weir told him as the second Puddle Jumper came through the Stargate. She moved out of the way as Beckett and his people moved in and the rear hatch opened.

Beckett looked at the man hovering over a man who slightly resembled Colonel John Sheppard before moving to help. "Who are you?"

"My name is Kudrone…please tell me you're a doctor?"

"I am…looks like the lad's been put through the wringer," Beckett said.

"I don't know what that means, but he's taken more than his share of blows," Kudrone said and stood back as Beckett began to work. "He's got a knife wound…I fixed it, but Hawk opened it up just before we escaped. He's also been whipped and beaten…"

"Bloody Hell…I can see that," Beckett cursed. "We need to get him to the infirmary now! The rest of you wait until…"

"I can walk," Ronon said.

"I…I can…"

"Look, I don't have time to argue…Elizabeth, make them stay put until my staff checks them over," Beckett warned as they whisked Sheppard away on the stretcher.

"Elizabeth…" McKay started, surprised when Kudrone moved to check his shoulder. "It's fine…"

"No, it's not," Kudrone said, noting the fresh blood on the bandage.

"I am Shariel…"

"I am Dr. Elizabeth Weir," Elizabeth said and shook the woman's hand. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Shariel told a shortened version of the rescue, leaving out the fact that she was also a 'slaver' because something about these people told her it would not go over well with these people. She knew Kudrone hated slavery and she would listen to his arguments when they returned to their ship. Giving up slavery was something she was willing to do if it meant making Kudrone happy. She finished her story at the same time several medical personnel arrived and began caring for the injured.

"Shariel, I am grateful for your help in bringing my people home and would like to talk to you some more, but I need to check on my people. Security will take you to…"

"I understand, Dr. Weir, but I must ask you for transport back to my ship," Shariel said.

"If that is what you want I will have Major Wallace's team take you as soon as he is debriefed," Weir said.

"Thank you," Shariel told her as Kudrone came to stand beside her.

"It may take some time, but I will have a security officer escort you to the Mess Hall. You can get something to eat there if you're hungry and I'll send word as soon as Major Wallace is ready to take you back," Weir explained.

"Thank you," Kudrone offered and watched as Teyla, Ronon, and Rodney were escorted away from the Puddle Jumper.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA**

Carson Beckett silently cursed as he looked at the damage done to Colonel John Sheppard. The man was a massive bruise from head to toe with a vicious wound in his chest that showed signs of infection. He knew Weir would be there soon for an update, but right now there was nothing he could tell her. He looked at the nurse who was trying to insert an IV line in Sheppard's arm with little success.

"Dr. Beckett, I can't seem to find a vein." Sharon Kempner explained worriedly.

"Let me take a look, Lass," Beckett said as Julie Parker took over for him and placed the leads on Sheppard's chest. Beckett carefully felt around for a vein and after several failed attempts found a suitable one and soon had the IV running into the Colonel's arm. He looked up as he heard others enter the infirmary, but didn't have a chance to acknowledge them as an alarm warned that his patient was no longer breathing.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

Rodney McKay lifted his head as he was wheeled into the infirmary and caught sight of the flurry of activity around a bed he assumed held Colonel John Sheppard. He heard Beckett giving orders to clear just before he pressed the paddles to Sheppard's chest. The Canadian had never felt so alone in his life as guilt overwhelmed him and he closed his eyes.

"Dr. McKay, I'm going to start an IV and give you something for pain," Dr. Rita Murphy explained.

"I don't…need anything," McKay lied. The truth was his shoulder was killing him, but it was nothing compared to the pain he felt knowing Beckett was fighting to save Sheppard's life. The fact was they could still lose him in spite of the daring rescue they'd managed.

"Rodney," Emmagan placed a hand on his left shoulder and waited for the Canadian to look at her. "He's in good hands…"

"The best, but…God Teyla, he looks like a warmed over corpse," McKay said.

"John's strong and he's made it this far. He won't quit now that he's home," Teyla vowed.

"Teyla, I need you to move back so I can take care of Dr. McKay," Murphy told her and knew they were all interested in knowing what was happening behind the now closed doors.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

Shazzia had seen the ship as it flew toward Suduko's home and recognized the markings as those belonging to a fellow slaver named Shariel. She wondered if the woman would help her get back what she'd lost, but it would not be wise to let anyone know she was on this world.

"Shazzia, I have heard from Corbone," Domitar explained, angered at finding her outside when discovery of her presence could get them both killed. "You should not be here."

"I saw a ship…it belongs to Shariel does it not?"

"Yes, it does, but you should know that she has aligned herself with Suduko…"

"I should have killed him long ago."

"It is too late to do anything about that now. Come inside before you are discovered," Domitar warned and waited for her to go inside before following her.

"What did Corbone have to say?"

"He said Shariel and Suduko along with the Atlantians were able to rescue John Sheppard and that Hawk has been killed," Domitar explained and saw the smile form on his daughter's face.

"With Hawk did then John is mine once more…"

"Shazzia, Corbone said that John was hurt badly and was taken back to his world."

"I will not allow my property to escape so easily…"

"Should I remind you that you do not have a ship?"

"Find me one, Domitar…use whatever means necessary. I will not be denied."

"I remind you that Corbone said John is hurt badly and my advice is to wait until he is stronger…"

"I will get him back…"

"Yes, you will, but give him time to heal and give yourself time to rebuild. Perhaps you will forget about him…"

"No, I will never forget, Domitar. John belongs to me and once he is back in my possession there are several people who will pay for what happened including several people I thought were allies."

"Shazzia, I will do everything I can to get you a ship, but you will need to find people who are willing to work for you. I am sure Corbone…"

"Corbone is a traitor to his people and that means he would be a liability I cannot afford. I want people who are loyal to me and there are several right here in this village. I will have what I want, Domitar, and I am not willing to wait to get it. Tell Corbone I want to know everything about John's people and where their world is located."

Domitar knew there was no point in arguing with her…the stubbornness came from her mother and she had never taken no for an answer either. He sighed heavily and exited the room and hoped she would not wind up dying as her mother had, yet he knew if she continued in this way she would die at a young age.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

Elizabeth Weir entered the infirmary to find John Sheppard's team being cared for by Beckett's staff. McKay looked paler than the pillow his head rested on, and he turned to look at her when she stepped up to his bed. "How do you feel, Rodney?"

"Like my head is stuffed with cotton…there's been no word from Carson, Elizabeth," McKay said worriedly.

"I know…he'll come tell us when he's finished," Weir offered and looked at Teyla who sat on the next bed. "Are you all right, Teyla?"

"A few bruises, but nothing I can not deal with. I have been given the all clear," Emmagan answered as the curtain around the next bed was drawn back to reveal an irritated Ronon Dex. "Ronon, however, will be keeping Rodney company."

"Oh joy," McKay snapped as the nurse checked his IV.

"Dr. Murphy, how is he?" Weir asked the woman who joined them.

"Stubborn as usual," the physician answered. "He's got several cracked ribs, a broken wrist, and a concussion…other than that he's just fine."

"So I can go!" Dex snapped.

"Only if you want to flash the people of Atlantis," Murphy teased of the lack of clothing the Satedan wore. She smiled when he grumbled and pulled the blanket up over his bare chest. "They'll recover as long as they don't overdo things, Dr. Weir."

"Thank you, Rita," Weir said and pulled a chair closer to McKay's bed.

"Did Shariel and Kudrone leave?" McKay asked.

"Major Wallace is taking them back now," Weir explained.

"She's as bad as Hawk," Teyla said with distaste.

"I spoke to her about the practice of slavery and she has decided she does not find the same enjoyment in it she once had. It does not excuse her past actions, but at least she now sees it as distasteful," Weir explained. "Kudrone said to tell you all to listen to the doctors and maybe someday you'll all meet again."

"Kudrone saved Sheppard's life," McKay told them, his voice soft as he stared at the closed doors.

"Rodney," Weir started, but didn't finish her thoughts as Carson Beckett exited Sheppard's room. "Carson, how is he?"

"How that man is alive is beyond me," Beckett said, discarding the bloodied gloves as he looked at the people gathered in the infirmary. "He is bruised from the his head to his toes, has several broken ribs, a knife wound to the chest that will require surgery because of the internal damage the knife caused, but I can't do that until he's stable. There are also numerous marks on his back probably from a whip…"

"It was…Hawk did that to him," McKay told them.

"There are also some older marks and signs of broken bones. I believe those were caused when he first disappeared and there is one nasty break that should have been reset. When he's stronger I will re-break the femur and set it properly. There's also major blood loss, and I've placed him on a ventilator until he's strong enough to breath on his own. I have also given orders to keep him sedated for the next 48 hours," Beckett explained.

"Is that all?" Teyla asked hopefully.

"Physically the wounds will heal with time, but I have no idea what his mental state will be," Beckett told them sadly.

"Did he recognize any of you?" Weir asked.

"The only one he called by name was Rodney," Emmagan answered softly.

"At least that's something, but again I won't know anything until Colonel Sheppard is awake and able to talk," Beckett told them.

"How long?" Dex asked.

"That depends on Colonel Sheppard and…"

"Dr. Beckett, we need you in here!" Sharon called.

"What's wrong?" Weir asked.

"I don't know," Beckett said, but he knew by Sharon's tone that something had gone wrong as the alarms gained momentum and he rushed into the room.

TBC


	36. Chapter 36

Remember, Never to Forget---36

Elizabeth looked around the infirmary and realized every member of John Sheppard's team was either in a bed or resting in a chair. Rodney and Ronon were both suffering from serious, but non life threatening injuries. Teyla was sitting in a chair, eyes closed, yet Elizabeth knew she wasn't sleeping. Rita Murphy had examined the Athosian and pronounced her battered and bruised, but ambulatory. She'd given Teyla a mild pain reliever and told her she needed to rest.

Elizabeth glanced at the clock and noted nearly an hour had passed since Beckett had disappeared inside the room where John Sheppard was housed. She kept looking at the door, hoping Carson would bring them some good news, but so far the door remained closed.

"Dr. Weir, has there been any word?" Evan Lorne asked.

Weir shook her head and wished she could give them something to hold on too, but until Beckett joined them there was nothing she could do to ease their minds. It seemed like the news of John Sheppard's return had reached everyone in Atlantis and they'd been stopping by the infirmary hoping for good news. Did she really expect anything less? Sheppard was a mainstay amongst the Atlantis expedition, and his loss had left many people demoralized, but they'd continued about their daily routine. Having John back had put a smile back on their faces, until they heard he was in bad shape.

"Dr. Weir?"

"Sorry, Major, no…Carson is still in there with him," Elizabeth answered.

"Damn, is there anything we can do?" Lorne asked.

"Not yet, just make sure the teams continue with their assignments," Weir answered. "I'll let everyone know as soon as Dr. Beckett gives me an update."

"Thank you," Lorne said and reluctantly left the infirmary.

Weir turned back to find each member of Sheppard's team watching her closely in spite of the fact that each set of eyes had that glazed look the spoke of exhaustion and heavy meds. "Carson's still in with him," she answered the question so easily read on each face before pulling up a chair and sitting down.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Carson Beckett pulled off the blood stained gloves and wiped the sweat from his forehead as he looked at the man whose life he was fighting to save. John Sheppard was a man he admired and respected for his strong will to survive. The man had proved time and again that he would not back down when faced with adversity that would make just about any other man cringe. Sheppard had survived a Wraith feeding, an Iratus Bug, nearly turning into a bug and countless other dangers that would make any man think twice about the decision to take a post in the Pegasus Galaxy.

Beckett knew of all the jobs that went with Colonel Sheppard's position the hardest one had been telling a family that their loved one had been killed. It was doubly hard for Sheppard because he could not tell them the real truth behind the deaths even when he wanted to tell them of the heroics they'd all witnessed.

Carson glanced at the nurse who was securing the tubing leading down into Sheppard's lung and wished there was something he could tell her that would ease the worry lines etched on her face. "I'm going to speak with Elizabeth and the others, but I want you to keep an eye on his temperature…keep an eye on all his numbers, Lass, and let me know if there's any change at all."

"I will, Dr. Beckett," Sharon Kempner assured him. She'd seen Beckett's anger when he worked to save Sheppard's life and knew how worried the physician was. The fact that Sheppard had suffered internal injuries that would require further surgical intervention was cause for concern considering how weak he was and how low his blood pressure and how high his temperature had risen during the surgery to stop the bleeding from an artery.

Beckett took a deep breath before opening the door and stepping through. He sighed and nodded his thanks when Rita Murphy handed him a glass, but frowned when he smelled the contents. "I don't…"

"Drink it, Carson, you're two shades whiter than pale," Murphy ordered, relieved when Beckett did just that before turning to face Sheppard's team.

"How are they?" Beckett asked.

"Teyla's bruised from head to toe, and should be resting in her quarters, but I figured that's a fight I'll leave until after they hear how Colonel Sheppard is doing. Rodney has a knife wound to his shoulder and lost a considerable amount of blood and will probably be bitching about the accommodations by this time tomorrow. Ronon has several broken ribs and a concussion," Murphy explained and continued with her description until Elizabeth noticed the two of them talking.

"Carson, how is he?" Weir asked, not surprised when Teyla, Ronon, and Rodney opened their eyes and listened for the report on their team leader.

"I am not one to hold back, Elizabeth, and I'm not gonna start now. Colonel Sheppard stopped breathing, but we managed to bring him back. You should know that it will probably happen again…we're ready if it does. He's on a ventilator and I'm going to keep him sedated until he's strong enough to breathe on his own. His blood pressure is low in spite of having been given 6 units," Beckett said and continued with the list of injuries he'd found during his examination of John Sheppard. "He's also malnourished and that can affect his major organs. To put it bluntly he's in for a major fight to get back on his feet, but I don't plan on letting him quit…"

"None of us do, Carson," Weir told him.

"How long will you keep him sedated?" McKay asked worriedly.

"At least 48 hours…possibly as long as a week if things don't improve," Beckett answered.

"Can I see him?"

"Not right now, Rodney, you need to rest and you won't be getting out of that bed for at least 12…"

"24 hours," Murphy corrected her colleague.

"24 hours and no, Ronon, you're on bed rest as well," Beckett said and turned to Elizabeth. "You can see him for a few minutes, but I want to warn you that there's more than just the injuries to contend with…"

"I know…"

"Carson, can I see him?" Emmagan asked

"Yes, but then I want you to do as Rita said and go to your quarters and rest or I'll find you a bed right here," Beckett warned.

"I'll see that she does, Carson," Weir said. She knew the room Sheppard was in was equivalent to an ICU in hospitals on Earth, but was still unprepared for the scene in the room. She felt Teyla tense up beside her and swallowed several times before moving to the bed.

John Sheppard, a man whose very presence was that of a giant on Atlantis, looked dwarfed by the equipment the medical staff was using to keep him alive. There were tubes in his mouth and nose and Elizabeth knew there were more hidden beneath the thin sheet that covered him from the waist down. There were bags of IV solution, antibiotics, and blood hanging above his head. Then there was the extra machinery surrounding the bed, some of it she knew and understood, but this was not her turf and she could not hazard a guess as to what some of it was used for.

"He looks…"

"Alive and that's what we need to hold on to," Weir finished when Teyla didn't seem to have the words.

"Yes, and if there's one thing I've learned about John Sheppard is that he's too stubborn to let something like this beat him," Emmagan said, grabbing the bed rail when the room seemed to go in and out of focus.

"Come on, Teyla, I'll take you to your quarters," Weir said and reached out to steady the Athosian. Teyla's face had gone considerably paler while she'd been standing and Elizabeth knew the woman needed to rest.

"Thank you, Elizabeth," Emmagan said and took one last look at Sheppard before leaving the room with Weir.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

Suduko Breathed deeply of the cool night air and smiled when his sister moved to stand beside him. He'd known she was watching him closely since they'd returned from Hawk's fortress, and understood the worry and fear she had during that time. "Kierra, you should be in bed with your husband."

"Bendor knows where I am and he is fixing something for you to eat."

"He did not need to, Kierra…"

"We know that, but we are both worried about you, Suduko. I know you wanted Shazzia and I wish I could help, but for now you must concentrate on growing strong again," Kierra said.

"Did you know Kudrone has convinced Shariel to give up 'slaving'?" Suduko explained. Kudrone and Shariel had left before the sun dropped below the horizon with the promise that they would visit when they could and help fight the war against slavery of any kind.

"That is wonderful, but what of the people she has already enslaved? What will become of them?"

"She and Kudrone are returning them to their homes, but some of them do not have a home and will be given the choice to stay with her or she will help them find a place to call home," Suduko explained.

"It still does not excuse what she has done…"

"No, it doesn't, but at least she is now on our side and willing to work with us. She is also going to speak with other 'slavers' and try to convince them that what they are doing is wrong."

"I hope she is successful, but she needs to be careful or it could get her and Kudrone killed."

"She knows that, Kierra," Suduko assured her and smiled when she hugged him.

"I am glad you came home, Brother," she told him and hoped his nightmares would end soon, but knew in her heart that would not happen until Shazzia was caught and made to pay for the pain she'd caused so many people.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Rodney McKay knew he was taking his life into his own hands, figuratively and literally because if Beckett or Murphy caught him he'd be in four point restraints until he was old and grey. That didn't scare him as much as the possibility of never being able to verbally spar with John Sheppard again. He would never tell anyone, but he enjoyed those times when Sheppard showed just how smart he was. The man had passed the MENSA test for God's sake.

Rodney managed to stand on his own two feet and grabbed onto the pole with the IV hanging from it and waited until the dizziness receded before taking small shuffling steps toward the closed door.

"Going somewhere, Rodney?"

McKay jumped and silently cursed before turning and expecting to see a red faced Beckett standing behind him, but it was Ronon's pale smiling face that stared at him. "If it's any of your concern I'm going to see Sheppard!"

"Not without me you're not," Dex told him, gritting his teeth as he slid from the bed and stood on shaky legs.

"Keep the grunting and moaning down or you'll get us caught," McKay grumbled.

"It's not me," Ronon said and smiled when the Canadian clamped down on the sounds he was making.

"They must be giving you the good stuff," McKay grumbled.

"Guess they like me better," Dex said with a grin and began moving slowly toward the room he knew Sheppard was being cared for. He pushed it open and smiled at the nurse who'd replace Sharon Kempner.

"You two are supposed to be resting," Pamela Wallingford said.

"We just wanted to check on Sheppard," McKay told her.

"You can stay for a couple of minutes, but I need to do some things for Colonel Sheppard that is unpleasant to watch," Wallingford told them.

"Thanks," Dex said and made his way to one side of the bed as McKay moved to the opposite side. He saw McKay's face turn whiter than he'd ever thought possible and knew the Canadian was as worried as he was…as they all were. "He's strong."

"I know…doesn't make seeing him like this any easier though," McKay said.

"Never does…but he's alive," Ronon told him.

"He is, but you two won't be if Dr. Beckett finds you here," Wallingford told them,

"Guess we should get back to bed before he finds us…"

"Too late, Rodney," Beckett said. "Come on then…back to bed with the both of you."

"It was all his idea," Ronon whispered.

"Coward," McKay said as Beckett turned a somewhat stony look in his direction.

"Settle, Children, or there'll be two sharp needles ready to put you down for twelve hours," Beckett warned. He helped McKay into his bed and checked his vitals before repeating the process with Ronon. "Now, do I need to put a guard in here or will you two sleep now that you've seen Colonel Sheppard?"

"He looks like he's been through hell," McKay offered.

"He has, Rodney, but don't go giving up on him just yet," Beckett said.

"I'm not. We fought to get him back and I refuse to entertain the idea that he won't survive," McKay said and frowned when Beckett did something to his IV and he felt himself drifting toward sleep. He swore he heard a softly muttered curse from Ronon and knew he'd been given the same medication.

"Sleep well and maybe I'll even let you have some real food for breakfast," Beckett said with a smile. He watched the two men for several minutes while checking the monitors to make sure nothing had changed. He turned to walk away and wasn't all that surprised to find Elizabeth Weir standing behind him.

"Are they okay?"

"They're fine and they'll stay that way if they don't make any more midnight trips."

"Sheppard," Weir said with a hint of a smile.

"I found both of them in there, and decided they must need a wee bit of help getting to sleep," the physician told her, studying her face and seeing the lines of strain that spoke of extreme weariness and worry. "Elizabeth, you should get some sleep…you look exhausted."

"I could say the same thing to you, Carson, how long since you had any sleep?"

"This morning…"

"It doesn't show," Weir teased.

"Well, why don't we go into my office and I'll prescribe a little relaxant for us…"

"Scotch?"

"Of course and only the best."

"I wouldn't expect anything less," Weir said and looked at the closed door to the CIU.

"He's holding his own, Elizabeth, and right now that's better than the alternative," Beckett explained and took her arm as they walked toward his office.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Rodney opened his eyes and turned his head to find a nurse checking the monitors over his head. He had no idea how long he'd been out for, but knowing Beckett it was at least a full eight hours and probably closer to ten or twelve hours. He shifted slightly and the nurse smiled at him before plumping his pillows.

"Good morning, Dr. McKay, how do you feel," Gillian asked.

"Ask Dr. Beckett, he's the one with the sneaky approach to sleeping," McKay grumbled.

"Dr. Beckett just wants what's best for his patients even the…"

"Stubborn ones," Beckett said as he walked toward the bed and adjusted the flow of medication in McKay's IV.

"Carson, how is Sheppard?" McKay asked as the throbbing in his shoulder eased.

"He's still the same, Rodney," Beckett answered and moved to help Ronon sit up while the nurse adjusted his pillows. "How do you feel, Ronon?"

"Oh, you he asks how you feel…me he just…"

"Rodney, were you in pain?" Beckett asked.

"Well, yes, but…"

"Then what are you complaining about?" the physician asked and turned back to the Satedan.

"I'm okay, Doc," Dex answered.

"Now that's a lie if I ever heard one. Anyone can see you're hurting," McKay said and turned his attention back to Beckett. "You mentioned something about real food."

"I did and it'll be here shortly," Beckett told him.

"Real food…not that liquid crap you usually give us after we're hurt," McKay grumbled.

"What liquid crap?" Dex asked.

"Don't tell me you get real food…"

"Rodney, Ronon doesn't have a delicate stomach," Beckett said.

"See, McKay, you're delicate…I'm solid…like a rock…"

"Oh, please, you're in worse shape than I am…"

"All right…settle. It's not a contest, but Rodney, go easy when they bring breakfast," Beckett warned and walked toward Sheppard's room. He pushed open the door to find the new nurse checking the intubation tube and smiled when she looked up at him. "How are things with Colonel Sheppard this morning?"

"His temperature is still high, but his blood pressure is a little better," Paula answered. "I changed the bandage covering his chest wound and thought you should have a look at it."

"Let's take a look then, Lass," Beckett said and lowered the blanket so that he could see the wound. He helped ease the bandages away and winced at what he saw. "We need to put in a tube and let it drain."

"Yes, Doctor," the nurse said and moved to ready the items they would need.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

What was that noise? Why couldn't he move or open his eyes? God, why did he hurt so damn much? Where the hell was he?

The questions repeated themselves in his numbed mind, and he knew he should be glad he felt numb, but that was not who he was. Never had been, never would be, but for once that's exactly what he wanted. To stay numb and not feel the pain he knew would be there on awakening.

John fought the lethargy and managed to move his tongue, but found there was something there, something that shouldn't be and he panicked as he tried to breath on his own. There were voices, ones he thought he should know, but that familiarity was not enough to hold on to.

'_Hawk,'_ John thought and fear made him struggle against whatever was holding him down.

"Colonel, you're safe. You're home on Atlantis and you have a tube down your throat to help you breathe. Don't fight it, Lad," Beckett told him, but the fear in the eyes told him he was not getting through to Atlantis' military leader.

The voice was familiar, but John could not quite grasp why and renewed his efforts to get free. He cried out as he shifted slightly and was forced to be still as unfamiliar hands caught and held him down.

"Come on, Lad, just look at me. It's Carson and you're in the infirmary, but you're going to be fine as long as you do as your friendly doctor tells you too," Beckett soothed. Three days had passed since John Sheppard's return to Atlantis and although his fever continued it hadn't gotten any higher. Carson had made the decision to ease off on tha sedatives and allow the injured colonel to wake up.

'_Carson…'_ John repeated the name, but felt only a cold dread as he looked at the man and woman standing beside the bed. He shook his head slightly and wished he could tell them he didn't know who they were. God help him, but he felt so alone and almost wished Hawk was there…almost. He began to shake and his eyes grew wide when the woman injected something into the tube in his arm and darkness descended over him.

"He should sleep for several hours, but if there are any problems just get me," Beckett said and exited the room to find Elizabeth, Teyla, Rodney, and Ronon waiting for him. It had become the norm for them to be there, especially with both Ronon and Rodney still patients.

"Carson?" Elizabeth was the first to speak.

"He was awake for a few minutes, but he panicked and right now I can't let him do anything that's going to set him back…"

"Did he know who you were or where he was?" Teyla asked softly.

"I don't know…but something tells me he really didn't understand what was happening," Beckett answered.

"He didn't know us when we saw him," Ronon said.

"He did seem to know Rodney," Teyla offered and looked at the pale faced Canadian sympathetically.

"Rodney?" Beckett asked.

"He said my name when we found him in Hawk's chambers, but I don't know if he really remembers me," McKay answered.

"Well, the next time we let him wake up I want you in there," Beckett told them.

"When will that be, Carson?" Weir asked.

"Probably this afternoon, meantime you two should be resting," Beckett motioned both men back to their beds and received an uttered curse in reply.

"I could…"

"Ronon, you're not going anywhere for another day…after that we'll see," the physician told them and turned to McKay. "That goes for you too."

"I didn't say anything," Rodney sputtered.

"No, but you were going to. Now I have a few tests to set up for Colonel Sheppard so please try not to harass my nurses," Beckett warned before leaving the four people alone. He knew Weir would give a base wide update on Sheppard and wished he had better news to give them, but right now there was nothing more they could do until Sheppard was awake and aware of his surroundings.

TBC


	37. Chapter 37

Remember, Never to Forget---37

"Easy, Sheppard, you're okay…you're safe," Rodney tried as he moved to the bed and reached out to touch the colonel's shoulder. The man seemed on the verge of waking and it was plain that there was still some panic in not knowing where he was or what had happened. It would be doubly bad for Sheppard if they were right about his memory.

"You're in the infirmary and Carson is taking care of you…that's it…open your eyes and look at me."

'_Rodney,'_ John thought and looked at the man whose voice soothed his fears, but could not remember why this man's presence seemed to ground him. He tried to move his tongue, but the inside of his mouth was dry and whatever was down his throat made it impossible to form words.

"Carson put a tube down to help you breathe, but I'm pretty sure he'll take it out once he realizes you're awake. Do you want it out, Sheppard?"

John nodded slightly and frowned when a second voice reached his ears and he turned to see another man. There was something friendly about him, something that felt right to John, but he quickly turned his attention back to Rodney as he felt the tape holding the tube in place being removed.

"Now, Lad, I'll need you to breathe out as hard as you can for me," Beckett ordered.

"You ready to do this, Sheppard?" McKay asked and got a nod from the injured colonel. He looked up to see Teyla, Ronon, and Elizabeth watching from outside the SICU and smiled thinly before looking down at the pale colonel again. "He's ready, Carson, get that damn thing out."

"All right, Colonel, breathe out now," Beckett ordered and pulled the tube from his patient.

John coughed and gasped as the tube was removed and tried to curl into a ball as pain awakened in every part of his body. He felt a hand clasp his own and held tightly to the lifeline, latching onto the friendship he felt for the man he knew only as Rodney.

McKay watched as Beckett eased a warm cloth over the injured man's face, cleaning away the evidence of the tape that had held the tube in place. He felt a small tremor run through John Sheppard's body and reflexively squeezed his fingers before speaking softly. "Welcome home, Sheppard…"

"Who…who is Sheppard?" John asked, hardly recognizing the rasping whisper s his own voice.

McKay met Beckett's eyes and knew what he'd suspected in Hawk's fortress was true. Sheppard seemed to have no memory of who he was except for his own name and Rodney. Why the colonel had singled him out, Rodney had no idea, but he intended to do everything in his power to help his friend.

"Rodney…what's wrong?" Sheppard asked, but felt the last of his energy drain and let his eyes close.

"He's sleeping," Beckett said and checked the numbers on the monitoring equipment as Sheppard slipped deeper into sleep.

"Why does he remember me, but not his own name?" McKay asked.

"I don't know, Rodney, perhaps it's because you were the last person he saw before…" Beckett froze and looked into eyes filled with despair, silently cursing himself for reminding the Canadian why they thought Sheppard was lost to them forever. "Rodney, I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"It's okay, Carson, believe me I've blamed myself often enough…"

"You were not to blame for what happened," Beckett said and led the injured man from Sheppard's room. "Look, we've been through this and no one blames you for what happened. Lie down, Rodney…"

"Carson…"

"Sh, I'm going to give you a little something to help you sleep, Rodney," Beckett told him.

"What if Sheppard wakes up? He doesn't know where he is and he might panic."

"I'll make sure we wake you if he does, but right now you need sleep."

"Listen to Carson, Rodney," Weir said from behind Atlantis' CMO.

"It's my fault, Elizabeth," McKay whispered before Beckett's medication took affect.

"I've never seen Rodney hold onto anything like this," Weir said.

"He's been holding it in since Colonel Sheppard disappeared, Elizabeth. Finding Sheppard alive will help, but until he's back on his feet and his memory returns, Rodney will continue to feel as he does," Beckett said and straightened the blankets covering the sleeping Canadian.

"Carson, what are the chances of John's memory returning?" Weir asked as Ronon silently lay back on his bed and closed his eyes.

"I honestly don't know, Elizabeth. We know next to nothing about what happened after the explosion except that it was bad enough that Colonel Sheppard blacked it all out. His memory could return, whether it's complete or only partial is another question."

"Do whatever you have to, Carson," Weir said.

"I will, Elizabeth," Beckett said. "Did you notify his brother?"

"Not yet…I was hoping to have some news to tell him."

"I would think finding john alive would be good news," Teyla offered.

"It is, but John has had problems with his family, but it's not up to me to tell you about that so lets' just say John made his own way in the world," Weir said.

"Then shouldn't his family be proud of his accomplishments?" Ronon asked.

"They should," Beckett said and left it at that. "Teyla, how are you feeling?"

"I am fine, Carson, just a little sore sometimes," Emmagan assured him.

"Just don't go working out until I give you the all clear," Beckett warned.

"It is hard to work out when my sparring partners are in here," Teyla said and smiled at Ronon before leaving the infirmary with Elizabeth Weir.

Beckett looked at the two men and glanced at the ICU before making his way toward his office. God help him, but he hoped John Sheppard's memory would return. If it didn't Rodney McKay would wear a mantle of guilt that would eat away at what made him who he was.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

The clicking noises and beeps were unfamiliar to him and he opened his eyes to the dim lighting of a room he didn't recognize. It was disconcerting, but it didn't scare him because he heard a soft voice humming nearby. He turned his head slightly until he saw the woman standing with her back to him. He didn't know her name, but there was something about the humming that soothed his fears.

Sharon turned and smiled when she noticed him watching her. "Hello, Colonel, how do you feel?"

"I don't know…who are you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, my name is Sharon and I'm one of the nurses helping Dr. Beckett care for you. Are you in any pain?"

"No…can I sit up more?"

"Of course, just let me push the button and you tell me when to stop."

"That's good," John said when she'd raised his head enough to look around. "Where's Rodney?"

"He's in the other room sleeping, but I can wake him if you want me too," Sharon told him.

"No…looked like I feel when I saw him."

"Yes, well he is worried about you…"

"Does he…I mean did he…did he buy me from Hawk?" John asked softly.

"Nobody bought you, Colonel…"

"My name is John…I don't know who Colonel is," John told her, frowning as he tried to grasp an image that flashed across his mind as a man stood in the open doorway. "Car…Carson?"

"Aye, Lad, do you remember me?" Beckett asked once he reached the bed.

"Sometimes…know you helped me before," John told him.

"Yes, I have…too often sometimes, but it goes with your penchant for getting into trouble…"

"Sorry, don't mean to be…be a pain."

"You're not, Son, believe me everyone in Atlantis owes you for saving our lives…"

"Atlantis?"

"The city we live in," Beckett explained. "When you're feeling better we'll get you in a chair and show you around. It might help rekindle you're memory, Lad. Right now I want you to try and sleep."

"Seems like that's all I do."

"That's because you need it. Are you in any pain?" Beckett asked.

"A little," John told him.

"Well, that's one thing that hasn't changed," the physician said with a grin.

"I don't understand."

"Even when you've lost your memory you still lie about just how much pain you're in," Beckett said and adjusted the flow of pain medication. "That's going to make you sleepy so don't fight it."

"O…kay," John said and closed his eyes.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

God help him, but the pain was so bad, yet there was something he had to do. Why did Rodney look shocked? What was he holding in his hand? Why did the pain suddenly intensify with each breath he took?

A soft cry escaped his throat, but went unheard by the nurse checking the monitors. _'Blow it! God Damn you, McKay, blow it now!'_

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Rodney opened his eyes and licked at dry lips before pressing the button to raise the head of his bed. Why was it whenever Beckett gave him something to help him sleep it left his mouth feeling as if he'd swallowed a mouthful of sand? He slid his legs over the edge of the bed, frowning when he thought he heard Sheppard calling for him. The words were imprinted on his mind and had woke him from sleep many nights since Sheppard had disappeared.

'_Blow it! God Damn you, McKay, blow it now!' _

"Sheppard," he whispered and stood on the floor too quickly. He gasped, but fought the wave of dizziness that threatened to put him on the floor. He grabbed the IV pole, grateful that it hadn't been unhooked yet as he made his way toward the ICU.

"Dr. McKay, are you all right?" Sharon asked when she noted the beads of sweat on the man's pale face.

"I'm fine…is he awake?"

"No, he's been sleeping since Dr. Beckett changed the dosage on his pain meds," Sharon answered. "It's late and you should be sleeping."

"No, I heard him. Something's wrong," McKay said and moved to he right side of the bed just as Sheppard's eyes shot open and he screamed the damning words that had sealed both their fates so long ago.

"Blow it! God Damn you, McKay, blow it now!"

"Jesus, Sheppard, I did!" McKay said and placed his hand on Sheppard's chest when the man seemed to find the strength he needed to sit upright.

Pain was everywhere. It filled his lungs and shattered any hope he had of drawing air into his lungs, yet there seemed to be a lifeline nearby if he could just grasp it. God, why didn't Rodney blow the damn thing to hell? Couldn't McKay see what it was doing to him?

"Look at me, Sheppard…I blew it, John, you're safe now!" the Canadian said and wished he could get through to the injured colonel, but right now nothing seemed to be working.

"What's going on, Sharon?" Beckett asked upon entering the room.

"Carson, he's stuck…stuck in a living nightmare. Do...do something!" McKay stammered.

"I will, Rodney, but right now I need you to calm down and keep talking to him. He knows you're not going to hurt him and he'll respond to your voice."

"Colonel…John, listen to my voice," McKay tried to keep the fear from his speech, but God help he was terrified of losing this man all over again. "I'm here, John, and you're safe. You're home…Atlantis is our home, John, and I promise as soon as you're well enough I'll take you up on that golf lesson and maybe even go camping with the Athosians. How does that sound?"

"Keep talking to him, Rodney, you're getting him to calm down," Beckett told him, relieved to see Sheppard's heart rate returning to normal.

"How does that sound, John?" McKay asked, using the name that seemed to get through to the injured colonel.

"Rod…Rodney?"

"Right here," McKay said with a weak grin.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. How do you feel?"

"Don't know…keep having the same damn dream. Wish it would stop," John told him.

"I do too and it will, John, you juts have to give it time," McKay told him.

"Why did…what did I want you to blow, Rodney?"

"It's not important right now, John…"

"Yes, it is…I think you did it and I think it hurt you to do it," John said and frowned when he found himself slipping toward sleep again. "Not your fault, Rodney…told you…told you to blow it."

"I know you did, but that doesn't make it any easier," McKay said, sighing heavily before moving back and allowing Beckett and the nurse take care of Sheppard. He walked out of the room and frowned when he spotted Ronon watching him.

"You okay?" Dex asked.

"Not really…I don't know how to help him," McKay answered as he moved to his bed.

"Oh…sounds like you did that just now," the Satedan told him.

"What do you mean?"

"Heard him tell you it wasn't your fault. Figure maybe his word would count for something," Dex offered.

"It does…it's just…"

"Guilt can eat away at you, McKay…don't let it," Ronon told him.

"Easier said than done," McKay said.

"Not really…not when you know he's alive," Dex offered. He'd seen McKay beating himself up over Sheppard's death, but the man was alive and it was time to realize there was nothing for McKay to feel guilty about. He'd obeyed his commanding officer and saved countless lives, that made him a hero whether he realized it or not.

Rodney lay back on his bed and thought about what Ronon had just told him. Sheppard really was alive, and he gasped as that realization struck deep in his soul. He hadn't killed his friend, no matter how hard he'd tried to blame himself, the truth was lying right there in the next room. A hint of a relieved smile formed on his face and McKay knew he'd do everything in his power to help John Sheppard find his way 'home'.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

Elizabeth knew she would have to contact John's family soon and wondered what effect the news would have on David Sheppard. She didn't know the man personally, but from what Ronon had told her David was not exactly proud of his brother's accomplishments. How would he react to the news that John had lost his memory? Would he insist they send him home? If so would she be forced to fight that request because he was needed on Atlantis?

Five days had passed since John had been brought home and Carson was still worried about the fever that seemed to be sapping what little strength the colonel had. Why was this proving to be so hard when it should have been cause for celebration? How many times since coming to the Pegasus Galaxy had she been forced to write a letter informing friends and family that their loved one would not be coming home?

"Too often," Weir whispered and rubbed at tired eyes.

"Is something wrong, Elizabeth?"

"Not really, Teyla, just thinking too damn hard," Weir answered.

"Is that a letter to John's brother?"

"Yes, it is."

"Should he not be happy with the news that John is alive?"

"He should be, but I just don't know. From what little John told me about his relationship with David it was strained at best."

"Ronon did not think very much of David Sheppard," Emmagan said and sat down opposite the other woman.

"I know, and that's what makes this so hard," Weir told her.

"Why?"

"Well, David Sheppard could insist on taking charge of his brother's life now that John doesn't remember who he is or why he came to the Pegasus Galaxy in the first place."

"Will it make any difference considering he probably does not remember Earth either," Teyla asked.

"It depends on David…"

"Shouldn't it be John's choice?"

"It should, but it doesn't always work that way," Weir answered softly.

"Sometimes I find it hard to understand your ways, Elizabeth," Emmagan said.

"It's not everyone's ways, Teyla, but whether it's David Sheppard's or not remains to be seen," Weir said and stared at the letter she'd been preparing.

"Do you have to send it today?"

"Not really…I was just trying to find the right words."

"They will come when the time is right," the Athosian said.

"You're right…they will. I believe it's time to see if John is up to some company. Would you like to come along?"

"Yes, I would," Emmagan said and followed Weir from the office.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

The sights and sounds of the infirmary were becoming familiar things to John, but he could not remember anything about Atlantis or most of the people who stopped by to say hello. The only one he knew on sight was Rodney McKay, but there were times when bits and pieces of images flashed across his mind. He knew he could trust Carson Beckett and was grateful for the care and concern from the other man, but he was tired of the constant attention.

John looked at the IV line leading into his arm and began easing off the tape, but stopped when a voice reached his ears.

"Hey, Buddy, not a good idea."

John stared at the man whose frame nearly filled the door and searched his mind for the name he'd been given. '_Ronon,' _he thought and frowned when he saw a hint of a smile on the other man's face. "I need to get out of here."

"I bet…Beckett would be upset though."

"Why?"

"He'd have no one to poke and prod…or stab with a needle," Dex explained.

"Ronon?"

"In the flesh," the Satedan answered.

"We're friends?" John asked.

"Like to think so."

"Then you could help me."

"Do what?"

"Get the hell out of Dodge," John said, frowning at how easily he'd spoken those words and briefly wondered where they'd come from.

"Beckett would kill me."

"He doesn't need to know."

"You don't think he'd miss those clicks and beeps."

"Damn…hate it when you're right."

"That's what you always say."

"I take it you're right a lot."

"All the time…"

"Don't you believe him, John," McKay said upon joining the two men.

"Rodney," John said and smiled at the sight of the familiar man standing behind Ronon. No matter how bad things looked or how lousy he felt, seeing Rodney always anchored him and let him know that he was where he belonged, whether he remembered it or not.

"How do you feel…John?" McKay asked, reminding himself not to use Sheppard or Colonel when speaking with the injured man.

"Better…"

"He was trying to take out the IV when I came in?" Ronon offered.

"Traitor," John said and again found a certain familiarity with the term.

"If Carson catches you…"

"If Carson catches him doing what, Rodney?" Beckett asked and frowned at the trio who wore equal smiles. It felt right, but Beckett knew they still had a lot of work ahead of them where John Sheppard was concerned.

"Nothing, Carson, we were just talking about…"

"Me," Beckett said and moved to check on his patient. "Rodney, I'm sure I told you to rest when I let you out of here this morning."

"I just wanted to check on John before I left…"

"You're leaving?" John asked, shrinking under the blankets when he realized how his voice must have sounded.

"Rodney needs to rest, John, but he'll be back later," Beckett explained, frowning when he noticed the tape peeled away from the IV site. "John…"

"Sorry, Carson…got itchy."

"I see…well, next time just let the nurses know and they'll check it. I'm going to change the site now and then maybe we can move you out of this room so that you can have visitors…"

"Visitors?"

"Only if you feel up to it, John," Beckett said. "Right now I want to check your wounds and make sure everything is healing properly."

"Okay," John told him.

"Ronon, you should be resting…Rodney, you can go to your quarters, but stay away from your lab!"

"Carson, has anyone ever told you you're a tyrant?" McKay asked lightheartedly.

"As a matter of fact…several people have including you," Beckett offered and peeled back the bandages covering Sheppard's chest. His fingers lightly touched a mark he'd noticed when first examining the colonel, but the man had not been awake enough for him to ask about it.

"Carson…"

"John, can you tell me about this?"

"What?" John asked sadly.

"This mark. How did you get it?"

"Hawk," John said and turned away as if ashamed.

"John, look at me," McKay said, relieved he'd stuck around even after Carson's dismissal. "Why did Hawk do that?"

"I'm his property," John answered softly.

"No, you're not," the Canadian told him.

"He marks me so no other slaver would take me from him…are you…are you a slaver, Rodney?"

"No, John, I'm not and you're not a slave," McKay said, fighting to keep the distaste from his voice. "You are and always have been a free man."

"Hawk said if anyone see the mark they'll know who I belong to," John whispered.

"Carson, can you remove it?" McKay asked.

"I can…is that what you want, John?" Beckett asked.

"You can take it away?"

"I can, but I'd like to wait until you're recovered from the wounds you have," Atlantis' CMO said.

"I'd like it gone," John said and stared at his chest with relief at the promise that one reminder of his ordeal would be removed.

"John, why don't you get some sleep and I'll tell Elizabeth and Teyla to come by later," Beckett said.

"Am kind of tired," John said and wished he could remember his life before 'slavery'. He closed his eyes and fought the images flashing across his mind. Sleep was a long time coming and when it did he found himself locked in the nightmare that had started it all.

TBC


	38. Chapter 38

Remember, Never to Forget---38

John had no way of knowing how long he'd slept, but his body was stiff and sore as he opened his eyes. It took him a few minutes to remember where he was and fight back the fear that threatened to turn into a fight or flight reaction when a stranger moved toward him.

"John, welcome home."

"Who…who are you?" John asked and saw a hint of sadness in the woman's eyes.

"My name is Elizabeth Weir and we've know each other since we came to the Pegasus Galaxy."

"I'm sorry, Dr. Weir…I just don't remember you."

"That's okay…Carson says it will take time, and I wanted you to know that if you need anything…anything at all just let me know and I'll do my best to get it for you."

"Thank you…is Rodney around?" John asked, hating how needy his voice sounded.

"He's in his quarters, but I'm sure he'll be here soon," Weir answered. She knew McKay was the only member of the expedition John Sheppard seemed to know; although she had a feeling he was getting flashes of memories of the rest of them.

"He should rest," John said.

"I'm sure that's what Carson told him too," Weir said. "John, I know all of this must seem strange to you…"

"No stranger than being a slave, Dr. Weir," John told her and wished he could erase the look of sadness that formed on her face. "I'm sorry…"

"You have nothing to be sorry for, John. I won't say I know how you feel because that would be a lie, but I will tell you all of us are willing to do whatever it takes to help you get your life back."

"My life here?" John asked.

"Yes, and on Earth."

"Do I have family on Earth?"

"You have a brother…his name is David."

"Does he know I'm here?"

"Not yet…I was waiting until you were stronger to tell him," Weir said.

" Why?" John asked.

"John, we don't need to do this now…"

"Why not, Dr. Weir…is my brother…is David ashamed of what happened to me?"

"All David knows is that you were MIA…"

"MIA?"

"Missing in Action," Elizabeth answered. "It is the story we give most civilian family members when a member of this exhibition disappears."

"Still doesn't tell me why you haven't told him I'm alive," John said, sighing heavily as he fought to stay awake.

"John, I'll come back later when you've had some sleep," Weir told him.

"Okay," John said and closed his eyes.

Elizabeth watched the injured man for a few minutes until she was sure he was sleeping. When she finally turned away Carson Beckett was watching her. She smiled at Atlantis' CMO and knew John Sheppard was in the best possible hands.

"Elizabeth, he is getting better."

"I know…I just wish…"

"We all do, and I truly believe he will get his memory back, but it will not happen overnight. Little things might just trigger a small memory or it could open the floodgates. Honestly, I'd rather it come back in little pieces because it'd be easier on him."

"Catastrophic overload," Elizabeth whispered.

"Pardon me?" Beckett said with a frown.

"If John's memory came back all at once it would be like one of Rodney's catastrophic overloads."

"That's probably the best description I've heard. Go easy and things will work out," Beckett said and laid a hand on her shoulder as she passed him. "Have you eaten yet?"

"I was just on my way to the Mess Hall…care to join me?"

"Give me a few minutes to check Colonel Sheppard and I'll meet you there," Beckett said. He moved to the bed and checked the readouts above his patient's head and knew they still had an uphill battle ahead of them. Sheppard's temperature was still higher than he'd like and Carson quickly change the order of antibiotics that he'd ordered to a stronger cocktail he hoped would work.

Carson watched as a frown creased John's forehead and heard a soft whimper that was so unlike anything he'd ever attribute to this man. "Ah, Lad, what did those bastards do to you?" Beckett knew it was a stupid question, because he could see the physical damage before him. What he couldn't see, what worried him even more than the physical wounds was the damage to Sheppard's psyche that had led him to black out everything before Shazzia and Hawk had enslaved him.

"Dr. Beckett, are you all right?"

"Aye, Lass, I'm fine. Just keep an eye on him and let me know if anything changes," Beckett told the nurse.

"I will," the woman said.

Carson reluctantly left the room and made his way to the mess hall, not surprised to find Weir already seated with McKay, Emmagan, Dex, Zelenka, and Lorne. There was a single seat left for him and someone had taken the liberty of getting him coffee and a bagel with cream cheese.

"Carson, Elizabeth was just telling us Colonel Sheppard was awake for a while," Teyla said.

"Yes, he was, but he's going to be sleeping more than he's awake for a while yet," Beckett told them. "How's the arm, Rodney?"

"It would be a lot better without the damn sling," McKay complained.

"Well then by all means get rid of it, but," Beckett paused as he watched McKay reaching for the offending item. "Don't come complaining to me when the pain keeps you awake or when you don't have the dexterity in your fingers to use those small data pads…"

"I guess I can keep it on for a while longer," the Canadian said and reached for his cup of coffee.

"Ronon?" Beckett said.

"I'm okay, Doc," Dex answered the unasked question.

"Sure you are. I don't want you running around the city until those ribs heal," Beckett scolded. "How are the headaches?"

"Not bad…sleep helps."

"Good…I want you to come see me if they get bad," the physician said and turned to Emmagan. "Teyla, how do you feel?"

"Much better, Carson," Teyla answered honestly.

"Glad to hear it, but again I don't want you doing anything more strenuous than lifting that coffee cup for a few more days. Let Major Lorne's team take care of any off world missions until I clear you three."

"There's nothing pressing right now, Carson," Weir said. The group grew quiet each one thinking about John Sheppard and what lay ahead for him.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Rodney smiled at the nurse who moved a chair close to the bed for his use. The day had been busy and this was the first chance he'd had to stop in and check on John Sheppard. McKay knew being busy was an excuse, a weak one to appease his own mind because he really wasn't sure what to say to this man.

Rodney had kicked himself several times throughout the day because there was no excuse for his absence and he knew it. He just found it hard to see Sheppard so subdued, so beaten as if he didn't have the will to fight. That was something Rodney was ready to do something about…what exactly, he didn't know.

McKay watched as John's eyelids slowly peeled back over confused eyes and smiled in spite of the chill that swept through him. "Hello, John, how do you feel?"

"Rodney?" John asked, hoping the man was really there and not just another image that followed him from his nightmares.

"You okay?" McKay asked when he saw something akin to fear in his friend's eyes.

"Think so…just dreams right?"

"I don't know if dreams are the right word for whatever you see when you're sleeping…nightmares is probably more fitting," the Canadian told him.

"Probably," John said and shifted on the bed, searching for the correct control that would raise the head of the bed.

"Here, let me do it," McKay offered. "Better?"

"Yeah, thanks…how's the arm?"

"Sore, but it's getting better," McKay said and adjusted the sling. "I hate this thing."

"I bet," John said as Beckett came into the room with a dinner tray.

"Well, Colonel, I hope you're hungry because it looks like someone decided to make your favorites," Beckett said and placed the tray on the table before moving it over the bed Sheppard lay in.

"Don't worry, John, I'll sneak in something later…"

"Try it Rodney and I'll see that you're put on a strict diet of bread and water," Beckett lightly scolded.

"You would too," McKay grumbled as Beckett removed the covers from the food. "I thought you said they made his favorites?"

"Rodney…"

"This is cruel even for you, Carson," McKay griped. "Soup and green Jell-O…"

"It's okay, Rodney, I'm not that hungry anyway," John told them.

"Colonel, you need to eat…"

"Don't you mean drink…"

"Eat," Beckett reiterated and returned his attention to his patient. "John, if this stays put we'll see about getting you something a little more…"

"Palatable?"

"Rodney, I swear I'll knock you on your proverbial…"

"I'm not saying another word, Carson," McKay said and leaned closer to Sheppard before whispering conspiratorially. "I'll see if there are any cheeseburgers…"

"You'll do no such thing!" Beckett saw a hint of a smile form on John Sheppard's face and wondered if McKay realized just how much his presence meant to the injured man. Somehow Rodney seemed to have a calming effect and that was something he would never have predicted.

"Thanks," John said and looked at the food with disinterest. He lifted the spoon and began eating the soup, surprised that it actually tasted better than it smelled. By the time he finished sleep beckoned to him once more and he heard McKay and Beckett talking as if from a distance.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

The days seemed to drag for John as his physical wounds slowly healed, but his memory remained as illusive as ever. The nights were the worst when he'd wake up shaking in fear of something that stayed at the edge of his vision and disappeared when he opened his eyes.

The noises of the infirmary, the constant presence of a nurse or one of his friends was beginning to grate on his nerves and he began thinking of ways to escape. The problem was where would he go? He had no memory of Atlantis or how the city was laid out. From what Rodney had told him it was a city that floated on the water, but it could also fly.

'_A flying city,'_ John thought and looked around. It was hard for him to lie here and not know his surroundings, yet he would much rather be here and not at Hawk's whim. He briefly wondered where the 'slaver' was, cursing softly when an involuntary shudder ran through his body. His finger touched against the mark on his chest and he vividly remembered the day Hawk had marked him as his property.

"Not a slave," he whispered and reached for the IV running into his hand. He needed to see this city and find out if this was where he belonged. His injuries would slow him down, but he had never let that stop him and was not about to start now.

"Going somewhere, John?"

John's head came up and closed his eyes as several images flashed across his mind. He cried out and held his head, rocking back and forth as the insight into his past sent daggers through his skull. A pair of hand, not quite soft touched his shoulders and her voice broke through the pain. He leaned forward and placed his forehead against hers and whispered.

"Friends…"

"Yes, John, we are friends," Teyla's eyes filled with moisture as she felt his body shaking like a leaf in a strong wind.

"Teyla…Teyla," John repeated the name again and again as if afraid to forget it. "I know I should remember more, but I can't, Teyla…I'm sorry."

"Don't be, John, perhaps this is just the beginning and I believe it is a good sign that your memory will return."

"I hope so…because I don't want to lose this…will you do something for me?"

"Anything, John," Emmagan vowed.

"Get me out of here," John said hopefully.

"John, you can't…not yet…"

"Please, Teyla, I just need to see Atlantis…to see the city. I need to see if it will help me remember…who I am…who all of you are, because if I don't I might as well go find Hawk because as much as I hate it that is the only life I remember."

"John we need to ask Carson…"

"Teyla…"

"If Carson says it's okay I will take you wherever you ask, John," Emmagan vowed.

"Tell him I need to do this…I need to find…me…I need to find Colonel John Sheppard because I don't want to be John anymore," John whispered. "I don't want to be a slave, Teyla…"

"You're not, John, you are a free man." Teyla turned at the soft sound of footsteps and smiled as Carson Beckett walked toward the bed.

"It's kind of late for visiting, Lass," Beckett observed.

"I was unable to sleep and thought John might welcome some company," Emmagan told him.

"John, are you all right?" Beckett asked.

"No…no I'm not, Carson…I need to get out of here."

"Well, Lad, that won't happen for a few days yet…"

"Please, Carson, I just need to see Atlantis…I'll come back."

"Maybe in the morning…"

"Perhaps it would be good for him to go now when there are not so many people around," Teyla offered and saw something change in Beckett. Somehow she knew he understood this was something John Sheppard needed.

"Perhaps, but you're in no shape to be walking around and you need to come back here if you have any problems…"

"I'll see that he does everything he's supposed to," Emmagan explained.

"What's going on?" Rodney McKay asked upon entering the infirmary and finding the trio talking.

"What are you doing here, Rodney?" Beckett asked.

"I couldn't sleep…"

"Seems to be going around," Beckett said as Ronon Dex joined the group. "Well, John, it looks like your team has showed up at exactly the right time. If I didn't know better I'd swear it was a conspiracy."

"Couldn't sleep," Dex offered.

"There seems to be a lot of that going around. Perhaps I should send a requisition for more sleeping pills," Beckett lightly scolded.

"Softer mattresses might work better," McKay said. "So, what did we miss?"

"Teyla was just going to take John on a tour of the city," Beckett said. "I'm going to get a wheel chair…"

"I could carry him…"

"Not a chance, Ronon," John said as Beckett brought the chair closer to he bed.

"Now, John, let's see about making you comfortable," Beckett said and turned to the Athosian. "Teyla, would you mind waiting outside."

"Of course," Emmagan said.

John sat up in the bed and suddenly realized why Beckett had asked Teyla to leave. It hadn't occurred to him that there was a distinct lack of clothing that might have made things a little awkward for them. He allowed Beckett to help him into a set of light green pajamas before Ronon moved in and lifted him into the wheel chair.

"John, I've changed the IV and you're not due for antibiotics for another hour," Beckett told him and turned to McKay. "I want him back here before then or I'll stick you all with…"

"A needle," McKay griped.

"No, bedpan duty and let me tell you it can get pretty messy," Beckett said and gently placed a blanket over Sheppard's legs.

"I look like an old man," John griped as Emmagan joined them.

"Perhaps, but a handsome old man," she said and kissed his cheek before taking control of the wheelchair.

"One hour," Beckett warned as Sheppard's team wheeled him from the infirmary.

"Where would you like to go, John?" the Athosian asked.

"I don't know," John answered honestly, frowning as he tried to think of anything familiar. "Somewhere high…really high."

"The top…where he showed me how to play golf," Dex explained.

"That's about as high as it gets," McKay agreed.

John settled back in the chair and listened to the trio talk. It felt right to be here, as if a part of him had come home even if he couldn't remember why he felt that way.

TBC


	39. Chapter 39

Remember, Never to Forget---39

John felt slightly overwhelmed as Teyla wheeled the chair along the corridors, revealing more and more of the city he now knew as Atlantis. Several people passed them, offering good wishes and telling him to get well soon. He smiled, but didn't really feel much like talking and often saw a look of disappointment on their faces.

"John, are you feeling all right?"

"I'm fine, Teyla…just didn't realize how big this place is," John answered honestly.

"You haven't seen anything yet, John," McKay said when they reached the transporter.

"What's this?" John asked.

"This is called a transporter," Teyla explained. "It will take us to the tower Ronon told you about. You'll be able to see so much from up there."

John nodded, but remained silent as they stepped into the transporter and Rodney touched a keypad and suddenly they were in another part of the city. An image formed as they made their way toward a set of doors and several more followed in quick succession as they stepped outside. The sounds and smells assaulted his senses and he fought for air as someone knelt in front of him.

"John, listen to me…"

"Teyla…I…"

"Perhaps this wasn't such a smart move," McKay said as beads of perspiration formed on Sheppard's forehead and slid down his face.

"No, he's all right," Emmagan said and waited for Sheppard to open his eyes. "John…"

John knew the images he was seeing were real and he flinched as bright lights flashed nearby as if they were happening now instead of in his memories. Screams of pain, cries for help, and a beam of light taking people from their home. The Wraith had done this, but who were the wraith? An image of a female with long black hair and a grotesque hand reached out to touch a long fingernail against his cheek.

'Kneel!'

"No," John whispered as if the word had actually been spoken aloud.

"John, look at me," Teyla tried.

"Please…I can't…I won't kneel…"

"You don't have to kneel, John," McKay said as Emmagan moved aside and allowed him to speak with the injured colonel.

"Rodney…why?"

"Why what, John?"

"Why do I remember kneeling for a Wraith Queen, but I can't remember all of you? Why am I remembering only the bad things?" John asked softly.

"I don't know, John, but the fact that your remembering something is a good thing," McKay explained and saw fear in his friend's eyes. "Do you want to go back?"

"No…I can do this…I need to do this," John told them and motioned toward the railing. "Can you move me closer? I want to look at the ocean."

"All right, John," McKay said and pushed the chair closer to the edge, but kept him far enough back for safety.

"It's nice," John said, closing his eyes as a soft breeze wafted over him. A sense of belonging washed over him, yet his mind remained blank as he tried to draw on the images he'd seen earlier.

"John…"

"Golf balls…we hit them from here. Me and Ronon?" John asked simply.

"Yes we did," Dex answered with a hint of a smile.

"You hit one that…" John frowned and then smiled before finishing. "You hit one that hasn't landed yet."

"You're a good teacher," Ronon told him.

"If I am I don't remember," John said sadly.

"Maybe you just don't like the thought of a rookie to the sport beating you," McKay said.

"No, I don't think so," John told him, closing his eyes as another memory played across his mind.

"John?" Emmagan said worriedly.

"I'm okay…I need….there's a chair…a special chair?"

"Yes, there is," McKay said.

"Take me there," John ordered.

"John, we promised Carson we'd bring you back before the hour was up," Teyla explained.

"Please, Teyla, I need to see it. I need to know it's real and not my imagination playing tricks on me," John told her.

"All right," Emmagan agreed when she saw the look of hope on his face. It wouldn't take long to reach the chair room and if it helped John Sheppard reclaim his lost memories then it was worth 'bedpan duty'.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

John knew the others were watching him closely as they made their way toward the chair room. He knew they were worried, but there was nothing he could do to ease their minds, not when his own mind seemed blank at times and filled with horrific images at others. He sighed tiredly and unconsciously rubbed at the mark Hawk had left on his chest as the wheelchair was pushed inside a spacious room.

The chair was directly in front of him and he managed to climb to his feet before the others reacted. Ronon grabbed him before he fell and made to ease him back, but he shook his head vehemently. "No…I need…I need."

"What do you need, John?" Teyla asked softly.

"I need to sit…"

"Ronon, put him back…"

"No, need to sit in that chair…I need to feel it…"

"John, are you sure?" McKay asked, worried about how pale the injured man was.

"Yes…no, I don't know, Rodney, but I can't stay like this forever. I need to get my memory back. I need to get my life back. I need to remember you and Teyla and Ronon and Atlantis. Please…just let me try," John said.

"All right, John," McKay said and turned to the Setedan. "Ronon, help him into the chair."

John held his breath as the bigger man lifted him from the wheel chair and moved him to the drone chair. He closed his eyes fro several long seconds and waited for the nauseating dizziness to pass. No one spoke as he opened his eyes and moved his hands to the arms of the chair. He sat for several minutes, but nothing happened, nothing changed as he shifted slightly and looked around in disappointment.

"John, just think about Atlantis and where we are?" McKay said.

"That's just it, Rodney, I don't know where we are," John snarled.

"Maybe not consciously, but the memory is there and you just have to reach for it. Maybe it'll be easier if you think about Earth and where it's located…"

John's eyes shot open as a solar system appeared above them. "Did I do that?"

"Yes…yes, you did, John," McKay said with a grin as he studied the moving chart. Everything looked like it was in its place and it proved that the ATA gene was still working in spite of John's memory loss.

"Is that Earth?"

"Yes it is," McKay offered.

"My brother lives there?"

"Yes, he does."

"I don't even know what he looks like," John told them.

"It's okay, John, it'll come back to you and when it does you'll be able to do everything you did before this happened," McKay said.

"John, we should get you back to the infirmary," Teyla told him.

"Okay…I am tired," John told them as Ronon helped him back into the wheelchair. He closed his eyes and listened to the trio talk during the return trip to the infirmary. His mind drifted back over the last few weeks and he tried to ignore Hawk's warning voice inside his head, but he knew the man was out there somewhere. No matter what the others believed, John knew that sooner or later he would come face to face with his worst nightmare. He could only hope he was strong enough for the challenge.

"John, let's get you back into bed," Beckett said, a hint of impatience in his voice. He'd been ready to send out a search party when the small group had shown up. Sheppard look paler than before and was bathed in a fine sheen of sweat as he was helped back into bed. "Jenny, set up the antibiotics and get a set of vitals for me."

"Yes, Dr. Beckett."

"John, I'm going to give you something to help with the pain and it'll also help you sleep," Beckett said.

"Thanks, Carson," John said, sighing tiredly before closing his eyes. He heard softly spoken words and felt a sense of warmth wash over him_. 'Home,'_ he thought before the darkness closed around him.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

"Carson, how is he?" Elizabeth Weir asked. She had been told about the trip that Sheppard's team had taken him on. McKay had stopped by and told her how he'd remembered a couple of things about shooting golf balls off the high tower and that he'd been able to activate the drone chair.

"Aside from being worn out he's doing fine," Beckett explained as they walked toward Sheppard's bed. "The fact that he remembered a couple of things is a good sign."

"Too bad those memories had to involve the Wraith," Weir said. Rodney had told her about Sheppard remembering the Wraith Queen who'd made him kneel and understood how painfully hard that was for a man like Colonel John Sheppard.

"The good memories will come, Elizabeth, but sometimes the bad ones are the first to return. Something about the trauma…I don't really know since that's not my area. Perhaps it's time he spoke with Dr. Heitmeyer."

"She was waiting until you said he was strong enough," Weir explained.

"I will contact her and let her know she can stop by whenever she gets a chance. Perhaps she'll be able to help him understand the memories he does have."

"I hope so, Carson, we really need him back," Elizabeth said.

"I know," Beckett agreed and glanced at the sleeping colonel. No matter how long it took, he knew this was going to be hard on John Sheppard and just as hard on his friends.

"I'd like to stay with him for a while," Weir said.

"All right, but he should sleep for several hours," Beckett told her before making his way toward his office.

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

"_Blow it!" Sheppard managed, blood spilling from his mouth and running down his chin._

"_No…Teyla, shoot the bastard!" McKay screamed._

"_I can't without killing him!" Teyla snapped._

"_Blow it! God Damn you, McKay, blow it now!"_

"_Sheppard…"_

"_Rodney, you have to!" Teyla said as more and more of the creatures came from the back of the craft. _

"_McKay…please…just do it," Sheppard said as the bulbous fixture he thought was a mouth formed into a cone that ended in a point aimed directly at his left eye. He screamed as pain shot through his body and John Sheppard knew he was dying as he tried to will McKay's hand to press down on the detonator._

_Pain, God help him, but there was so much pain and he'd brought it on himself. 'Blow it!' that's what he'd shouted just before the world around him disappeared in a crimson tide of pulsating light that sent him spiraling into the hellish nightmares that plagued him from the moment he'd woken in Shazzia's chambers. _

_John knew it had to be a dream…he couldn't be here…not again...he could not live through that again. He could not scream as Shazzia's doctors worked to heal him from the wounds made by her creatures. His breath caught in his throat as fire ignited in his abdomen. _

_John trembled convulsively and knew there was no way of escaping the hell of Shazzia's laboratories and screamed as something cut into his flesh. Hands held him down as she stood over him, watching his face and smiling at the agony her 'doctors' caused before darkness surrounded him and threatened to plunge him into hell. _

"_Blow it! God Damn you, McKay, blow it now!"_

_Those words had sealed his faith the moment he'd uttered them, but he suddenly realized they'd also damned Rodney McKay to his own version of hell. That's what he saw in the man's eyes, guilt so deep that he could easily drown in it. John fought the layers of fog surrounding his memories and began to surface into a world that was both familiar and strange at the same time. _

**SGASGASGASGASGASGA **

"Blow it! God Damn you, McKay, blow it now!"

"John," Weir said as the injured man screamed. She reached out to touch him as Beckett and a nurse hurried toward her.

"No…please, Rodney…God, no…sorry…I'm sorry…"

"John, you're okay," Weir tried as Beckett glanced at the monitors. She could tell he was worried as he gave orders to the nurse, but she didn't speak as the medical staff began working to stabilize the injured man.

"McKay…please…just do it."

"John, you're safe," Weir tried as Sheppard's body arched up on the bed and muscles corded tightly.

"Please…sorry, Rodney…"

"It's okay…"

"Elizabeth, get Rodney here now," Beckett ordered, not all that surprised when the Canadian hurried into the Infirmary.

"What the hell's going on?" McKay snapped.

"Rodney, talk to him. See if you can get him to calm down!" Beckett ordered as McKay took Elizabeth's place.

"John, come on…look at me! You know who I am Sheppard!" McKay ordered.

"Rodney…sorry…didn't mean…didn't know…"

"Didn't know what, John?" the Canadian asked softly as his voice seemed to cut through whatever horror John Sheppard was seeing.

"Didn't mean…Rodney?" John whispered as his eyes finally focused on the man standing next to his bed.

"I'm right here, John, what happened?"

"Nightmare…thought Shazzia's creatures were back."

"What do you remember about the creatures, John?" McKay asked hopefully as the man's brows furrowed.

"Ugly thing…sharp teeth…thought…thought they were going to rip me apart," John answered. "Told you…told you to blow it. Knew…knew how hard it would be, Rodney, but there…there was so much pain and I knew…knew I was going to die anyway. Didn't mean to make you…make you feel guilty about what happened."

"I thought you were dead…thought the damn thing had killed you," McKay said as he others moved back and allowed him to speak with Sheppard.

"Would have…but Shazzia…I think she had some kind of…of transporter like the ones here. One minute I was dying…next thing I was lying…lying on some kind of metal bed and those things were op…operating on me. Felt like they were tearing me apart, but Shazzia told them she…she wanted me alive…"

"I wish…I wish we'd come after you," the Canadian said sorrowfully.

"You couldn't have known…Shazzia took me out just before you blew the ship, Rodney…I remember her laughing…but she was angry too…God she wanted to kill you…"

"I know…believe me I know and if I ever tell you I want to be kidnapped by the beautiful alien female again you have my permission to remind me of that bitch," McKay said. He watched as Sheppard's eyes closed and snapped open again as if the nightmares were still plaguing him.

"Elizabeth…"

"I'm here, John," Weir told him.

"I don't remember everything, but it's coming back in bits and pieces. I know you're supposed to let my brother know I'm alive, but please…don't. Not yet…not until I know everything that's happened…not until I know what I want to do," John told her.

"John, you really should be sleeping," Beckett told his patient.

"I don't think so, Carson…one nightmare is enough," John told him.

"All right…do you feel like talking to Dr. Heitmeyer?" the physician asked.

"Who?" John asked.

"She's a psychiatrist and might be able to help you deal with your nightmares," Beckett answered.

"I guess so," John told him. "Just not sure I'm ready to face them."

"You can stop anytime you feel like it," Weir explained as Beckett left to get Heitmeyer. She studied Sheppard's face and wished she could help him through the nightmares, but she knew there were more to come before his memory returned completely. She silently prayed the psychiatrist could help John Sheppard.

TBC


	40. Chapter 40

Remember, Never to Forget---40

John kept his eyes closed and listened to the sounds around him. He knew Beckett's voice, but not the female voice that answered him. He was pretty sure it was Dr. Heitmeyer, but could not picture a face to go with the name.

"Colonel Sheppard…John," Heitmeyer called and smiled as Sheppard's eyes opened.

"I…who are you?" he asked softly.

"I'm Dr. Heitmeyer. Dr. Beckett asked me to look in on you. How are you feeling?"

"Lost," John answered honestly.

"That's understandable, but if you're willing to let me I'll do my best to help you find your way home," the psychiatrist told him before taking a seat in the chair beside his bed.

"Where do we start?" John asked.

"Wherever you want to," Heitmeyer answered, watching as his eyes seemed to look anywhere, but at her. "John, I know it's hard, but if we start with the little things then the bigger things will take care of themselves."

"I remember waking up and there was so much pain and I thought I was dead, but somehow I knew death didn't hurt that much," John told her. "I couldn't think past the pain and all I could see were these damn creatures until she showed up."

"She?"

"Shazzia, God she was beautiful, but she was so damn cold. She told them she wanted me alive so that I would know what it was like to be a slave. She told me I belonged to her and that no one would ever take me away. I couldn't remember anything before the pain and somehow she played on that and kept me at her side. She never let me think about anything and if I did she'd hurt…hurt me in ways you couldn't imagine." John grew quiet as he thought about his time with the slaver and wondered if he'd ever get his memory back or would he have to live with bits and pieces of his life before Shazzia.

"What happened to change her mind?"

"About what?"

"About keeping you with her…how did you end up with Hawk?"

"I'm not sure, but I think it had something to do with Rodney spotting me on one of the planets. I think she thought I was too dangerous a commodity to keep around and she," John sighed heavily as he remembered the day she'd placed him on the auction block.

"What did she do?"

"She sold me…God I don't think I've ever felt that low…that humiliated," John told her, fighting back the emotional tide that threatened to capsize the raft he'd been given since waking on Atlantis. "There were others…a lot of others and we were…we were paraded in front of buyers and they were allowed to bid on us. Hawk…Hawk managed to outbid everyone else and he took me, Tyrel and the others to his ship."

"How did you feel after she sold you?"

"How would you feel?" John snapped, apologizing immediately for the angry words. "I felt angry…but there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. Don't get me wrong, Doc, I tried, but Hawk wasn't going to let me escape. Every time I tried he found some new way to punish me…including marking me."

"That mark can be removed, John…"

"I know, but taking away the memory of its existence is impossible. I have to live with it."

"Yes, you do, but you don't have to let it be a mark of slavery, John, you can make it a mark of freedom once Dr. Beckett removes it."

"There'll still be the memory of why he did it…a mark of ownership," John told her.

"That's what it is now, but as I said the mark left once Dr. Beckett removes it will be a mark of freedom and one you can be proud of. You survived Shazzia and Hawk and when you're ready you will be free to pick up the…"

"The pieces of my life?" John finished with a weak laugh. "I don't think I'll be able to recognize those if they were handed to me on a silver platter."

"It will take a lot of time and patience, John, but I really believe your memory will return…"

"What if it doesn't, Doc? What do I do then?"

"John, I wish I could answer that, John, but right now I can't. What I will say is that each day you seem to be remembering little details and hopefully the bigger picture will clear until you can see your past and your present and look forward to a bright future."

"I hope so, Doc, because I hate being stuck in the dark with just the nightmares to keep me company."

"Do you feel like talking about the nightmares?"

"I don't know…sometimes the nightmares are not really nightmares. They're real."

"Tell me about the real ones," Heitmeyer said and watched his eyes closely, knowing he was fighting to keep his emotions in check.

"There are things out there that are worse than the monsters we can dream up," John told her. "Some look just like us, but we should stay away from them. Hawk…Hawk was…is one of hem. He really believes he has the right to own people…enslave them and make them do what he wants them to do."

"What did he make you do, John?"

"He made me fight in the cages. Made me…made me fight if I wanted Tyrel to go free."

"Who was Tyrel?"

"Tyrel was a kid…can't even remember where he was from, but he became one of Hawk's best fighters. I didn't want to see him like that and had to fight him."

"Fight Tyrel?"

"No, Hawk. I had to fight him and defeat him if I wanted Tyrel's freedom."

"Did you fight him?"

"I did," John said with a hint of a cocky smile. "I beat him…surprised the hell out of him, and paid the price, but at least Tyrel was freed."

"How did you feel when you won Tyrel's freedom?"

"Angry…angry that it wasn't me, but I knew Hawk would never let me go. Not willingly anyway," John answered, sighing tiredly as he shifted on the bed.

"I believe that's enough for today, John," Heitmeyer said as Beckett moved in to check the monitors.

"Thanks, Doc."

"You don't need to thank me, you did all the talking."

"But you listened," John told her as whatever Beckett injected into his IV lulled him toward sleep.

"He's been through hell," Beckett offered.

"And then some. If he wakes up and wants to talk to me just have me paged," the psychiatrist added before leaving the room.

Carson watched the monitors for several minutes, relieved to see the numbers were finally within range of normal. He knew the struggle to bring John Sheppard all the way back was only just beginning, but vowed that he would help the man triumph over the evil that had entered his life. With a last look at the monitors, Carson left the man alone and missed the soft plea that escaped the colonel's throat.

"Please…don't let them t…touch me…"

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Suduko watched as the ship landed in the clearing and waited for the newcomers to exit the craft. He knew who his guests were and although he still held resentment toward Shariel, he knew she'd kept her word about speaking with the other slavers. Suduko waited until the duo reached him before acknowledging them with a simple nod of his head.

"Suduko, it is good to see you again."

"Thank you, Kudrone, how are things with you?"

"Shariel and I have come to an understanding and we have spoken with several major 'slavers'. It seems there is a lot of remorse and rethinking on their parts since Shariel has made the move to free her former 'slaves'."

"Suduko, I know I still have a lot to answer for, but believe me when I tell you I will never own another 'slave' and will not welcome a 'slaver' into my home again," Shariel told him.

"Has there been any word on John?" Kudrone asked.

"He is slowly regaining his strength and some parts of his memory," Suduko answered.

"Then it is possible that his memory will return completely," Shariel offered.

"It is possible," Suduko said.

"I hope he will recover and return to his former life," Shariel told them.

"It will take time and patience," Kudrone observed.

"Has there been any news of Hawk or Shazzia?" Kudrone asked.

"Hawk has disappeared. He is probably off licking his wounds and plotting a way to get John back. If I hear of his whereabouts I will lead an assault on him myself," Shariel answered.

"You will have plenty of people ready and willing to follow you in your quest," Suduko assured her.

"I'll keep that in mind, Suduko," Shariel said.

"What of Shazzia?" Suduko repeated.

"There are rumors that she is hiding out somewhere on your world, Suduko," Kudrone offered.

"I have people watching Domitar's home, but there has been no sign of her. That does not mean she is not here," Suduko told them angrily.

"Is there any way of searching Domitar's home?" Kudrone asked.

"Not without alerting him and Shazzia," Suduko explained. "Although, maybe it is time to speak to Corbone."

"Corbone?" Shariel asked.

"He is one of Trazdia's men, but he is not trusted…not for a long time. Trazdia has known of his disloyalty for a long time and has often fed him misinformation. Corbone thinks he is free and clear, but that is far from the truth."

"Do you think he knows where Shazzia is?" Shariel asked.

"Possibly, I will speak to Trazdia about questioning Corbone before the day is out," Suduko vowed.

"Is it okay for us to stay?" Kudrone asked.

"You are welcome in my home, but I must ask you to stay out of sight until after we have spoken with Corbone."

"We will do as you ask," Shariel assured him and followed the big man toward his home.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Shazzia knew she owed her father for what he did for her, but she had never been one to show her feelings and was not going to start now. Domitar had somehow managed to find her a ship, one that was large enough to support more than a dozen crewmembers and even had cells for 'slaves'.

"I know you are used to far more luxurious chambers, Shazzia, but this was the best I could do."

"Domitar, it is a wonderful ship and as soon as I hire a new crew I will be leaving."

"Are you going after John Sheppard?"

"Eventually I will, but for now he is out of reach."

"Corbone was here earlier and told me Sheppard still has not regained his memory."

"I am sure he will remember me. If not I have ways to make him remember," Shazzia said with a hint of a smile.

"Do you think that is wise?"

"John is part of Atlantis' military…commander I believe and with him as my property I will go after those who denied me their allegiance," Shazzia said angrily.

"His people will not stop looking for him."

"They will if they think he's dead. It worked before and I believe it will work again, but this time we will need a body," Shazzia said as she continued to check out the new ship. Her quarters had already been outfitted to her specifications and all that remained was for her to find a crew. It wouldn't take long to find the right people, especially when she tended to pay more than others in her position did.

"They will know it is not John Sheppard."

"Not if we leave them no choice. Perhaps an arm or leg would suffice," Shazzia said coldly.

"You would do that to a warrior?"

"I have done far worse before, Domitar. John Sheppard is my property."

"Not anymore, you sold him to Hawk."

"Hawk has disappeared and that means John goes to whoever is strong enough to take him."

"You believe you are strong enough, Shazzia?"

"I know I am," the woman told him. "We must begin searching for a crew."

"I will speak to several people and have them visit you here," Domitar offered before leaving his daughter alone.

Shazzia ran her fingers along the edge of the bed and felt the softness of the mattress before lying down. This ship would suffice until she found a larger one. Of course the bed was large and she would enjoy making John share it with her even if it meant securing him with restraints. A smile formed on her face at the thought of having the virile body next to her.

"Soon, John, very soon," she whispered seductively.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

John knew he was being stubborn, but he was tired of lying in bed when the rest of Atlantis was just outside the doors. He wanted to explore the city and see if it jogged his memory, but Carson was not an easy man to convince. Two weeks had passed since he woke up in the infirmary and discovered a whole new world outside his forced existence as a slave.

Bits and pieces of his memory had returned while he was laid up, but it was the times he spent with his team that brought things closer. Ronon, Rodney, and Teyla were a constant, except when they were on a mission to one of the nearby planets.  
God, help him, but he wanted to go with them so badly.

"John, I know you're tired of being in that bed, but…"

"Carson, you said I was getting stronger and that my fever's nearly gone. It's time to let me out of here," John tried.

"What if something goes wrong?"

"I'll call for help. I won't do anything stupid, Carson."

"Where have I heard that before?"

"I don't remember," John said with a mischievous grin as his team came in to the room.

"Did we miss something?" McKay asked.

"Carson was just going to sign my discharge papers," John offered.

"I didn't say that," Beckett told them.

"Come on, Carson, I've been in this bed too damn long. I want…I need to get my memory back," John said.

"I know you do, but…"

"Carson, perhaps if we helped John get settled in his quarters and helped him explore Atlantis…"

"Teyla, I don't need anyone watching me."

"That is not what I meant, John," Teyla said. "I simply meant we could take you to the places that could help you remember…"

"What you vowed never to forget," McKay told him. "Let us help you, John."

John looked at the four people present and realized they were right, yet he hated admitting he needed help. He sighed tiredly as Beckett sat on the edge of the bed.

"I know you hate admitting you need help, Lad, but right now you do. I don't want you exploring Atlantis on your own because there are some things we still know very little about. You're ATA gene is strong and you could easily activate something we know nothing about…"

"Has that happened before?" John asked.

"A time or two," Ronon answered softly.

"Did I hurt anyone?"

"No, but you knew instinctively when to stop," McKay offered.

"And I don't now?" John asked.

"We don't know that, but why take the chance when we could use this as a mission and hopefully help your memory return," Teyla suggested.

"I can't fight all of you," John said and turned to Carson. "Are my walking papers ready?"

"I didn't say you could leave…"

"Come on, Carson…"

"Hold on, John, I just want to make sure everything is in place. I don't want you doing anything more strenuous than lifting a fork to your mouth," Beckett warned. "It's going to take time for your strength to come back and I want you to eat when you're supposed to and drink lots of fluids…"

"I might have a little of that…."

"No!" Beckett interrupted the Satedan. "If I catch any of you giving him anything stronger than a cup of coffee those bedpans are going to be shinier than the top of Colonel Everett's head."

"Who?" John asked.

"You'll meet him in a couple of weeks," Beckett explained.

"Did I meet him before?"

"A few times," McKay said. He didn't really know how he felt about Everett, but the man knew his job although sometimes he let power go to his head.

"I can hardly wait," John said sarcastically. "Carson…."

"All right…I'm letting you out, but that doesn't mean I'm cutting you loose. I want you to check in with me on a daily basis…moe often if you suffer any headaches or…"

"I'll be here, Carson," John vowed and looked around.

"What's wrong, John?" Teyla asked.

"Where are my clothes?"

"Right here," Beckett answered with a smile.

"I think I've been had," John said of the way Beckett and the others had seemingly maneuvered him into agreeing with the physician's orders.

"Indeed," Ronon said while the others left and he reached out to help Sheppard get dressed.

TBC


	41. Chapter 41

Remember, Never to Forget---41

Trazdia looked toward the door as it opened and Suduko entered. He smiled and motioned toward a table in the back before grabbing two bottles of his specially brewed ale and joining his friend.

"Thank you, My Friend," Suduko said and drank half the cold beer before wiping his mouth and glancing around the room. Several of Trazdia's men were seated nearby, but Corbone wasn't one of them.

"What brings you here today?"

"Where is Corbone?"

"He is visiting his sister," Trazdia answered, not bothering to hide the distaste he felt. "That's the story he gave Proust, but we know he is at Domitar's residence."

"Does he have any idea you know of his traitorous acts?"

"No, we are simply feeding him enough so that he thinks he is a trusted member of our team," Trazdia answered.

"I have some questions for him."

"I'm guessing they're about Shazzia's whereabouts?"

"Yes."

"Will he live through these questions?"

"Perhaps, but that remains to be seen. There are some questions he might not answer willingly."

"Corbone is a coward and he will break easily," Trazdia offered. "Where do you want him?"

"Bring him to my home tonight. Shariel and Kudrone are there and I am sure they will be very interested in hearing what Corbone has to say," Suduko said and finished the drink before standing and wiping his mouth.

"I will bring him to you and perhaps I will help with the questioning since he is a traitor to all of us."

"Thank you, Trazdia, my door is always open for you," Suduko said and left the tavern.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

John Sheppard sat alone in his quarters and silently prayed the trembling would stop. He'd fallen asleep soon after convincing the others that he was tired and would see them after he got some sleep. He'd awoken from a nightmare so violent that he'd nearly screamed in pain as he tried to twist away from the razor sharp talons of Shazzia's creatures.

John breathed through tightly clenched teeth and fought the nausea churning through his gut. He reached for the pitcher of juice on the table and quickly poured it into a glass before drinking the ice cold liquid. He knew he hadn't slept long because the ice wasn't completely melted.

Sheppard stood and paced the confines of his quarters and knew it would be a long time before he could sleep again. He knew he could go see Beckett and get something to help him sleep, but that was something he shied away from. He sat on the edge of his bed and looked at the rumpled clothing he'd worn earlier and reached for them. It didn't take long to get dressed and he opened the door, relieved to find the corridor empty.

John winced as he moved into the hallway, but he didn't let that deter him. He wanted to see what it was about Atlantis that seemed to call to him. He needed to feel the city without anyone around and with most people asleep it felt right for him to be out here. Sheppard walked toward the transporter they'd used earlier and hoped he could remember how to use it or this journey of soul searching would be very short lived.

Once inside John touched the console and hoped his memory of his last trip wasn't as foggy as the rest of his memory was. The journey was instantaneous and he opened his eyes to find himself close to the top of the city. He took a deep breath and slowly made his way toward the outer balcony.

The scene was even more breathtaking than it was on his last trek up here and he smiled as the soft breeze brought the scent of the ocean rising over the city. He walked to the edge and leaned heavily on the railing, closing his eyes as several images flashed across his mind. He heard laughter, screaming, crying all at the same time, sprinkled through with a laser show that ended with the destruction of several parts of Atlantis.

John's hands gripped the rail so tightly his knuckles turned white and his body trembled as he fought to open his eyes. When he did he felt moisture sliding down his cheeks and hastily wiped it away as if someone might see it as a sign of weakness. He had no idea how long he stood there, staring up at the star speckled sky, silently praying that his memory of this beautiful place would come back to him.

"Sheppard."

John jumped at the familiar voice so close to him, but hid it before turning to face the newcomer. "What are you doing here, Ronon?"

"Looking for you," Ronon answered and leaned backward against the rail. "Figured I'd find you here."

"This place…there's something about it."

"It's nice."

"Yes, it is," John agreed and turned back to see the glint of the moon on the ocean.

"You come here a lot."

"Do I…did I?" John corrected.

"Yeah…showed me how to play golf."

"So I was told," John said.

"You don't remember telling me how to hit the ball?"

"Not really," John answered and frowned as something tugged at his memory. "Seem to remember you didn't need me to show you. That ball probably hasn't landed yet."

Ronon smiled at his friend and silently hoped his memory would return before the IOA decided to make good on their threat of replacing Sheppard as the military commander of Atlantis. If that happened, Ronon wasn't sure he'd stick around.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Food," Ronon lied.

"Think there's anything in the Mess Hall?"

"Guess we could find out," Ronon said and felt some of the emptiness he'd felt since finding Sheppard at Hawk's compound leaving. Somehow this simple talk with the man he'd come to respect above all others renewed his hope that John's memories would return.

"Thanks, Ronon."

"For what?" the Satedan asked curiously, frowning when he saw a noticeable limp when Sheppard walked. He knew Beckett was worried about the old injury and silently vowed to speak with him about it.

"For not running in the other direction when you found me."

"Wouldn't do that to a friend."

"Same," Sheppard said simply and grew quiet as they left the highest balcony in search of a meal.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Suduko watched as Trazdia and Proust accompanied Corbone toward his home. He silently studied Corbone's face, but saw nothing that told him the traitor had any idea why he was here.

"Suduko, it is good to see you again," Corbone said with a slight grin. "Trazdia said you have something you want me to do."

"I do, Corbone, but not here where anyone could be watching and listening," Suduko said and motioned for the others to follow him around the house. They reached the smaller building and he held the door while the others entered and finally closed the door on the outside world.

"So, tell me what you want of me, Suduko," Corbone said.

"Where is she?" Suduko asked, the color of his eyes darkening as he glared at the man standing between Trazdia and Proust.

"Who?" Corbone asked, weary of the look on Suduko's face.

"Shazzia," Suduko spat.

"How would I know where that bitch is, Suduko?"

"You have been working for her and Domitar for many cycles, Corbone…"

"No, Trazdia, I have never worked for them. They are trait…"

"Traitors, Corbone?" Trazdia snapped.

"Yes, yes they are…"

"And so are you," Suduko snapped, striking out with his fist before the other man had a chance to react. He caught Corbone on the jaw with enough force to make him stagger backward against the wall. "I want to know where she is, Corbone, and I will find out if it means I have to peel the skin of your body an inch at a time."

"N…no…" Corbone stammered as Trazdia flipped Suduko a knife that was caught in the bigger man's left arm. "Please, Suduko, I don't know where she is…"

"I don't believe you!" Suduko said and made a show of twirling the blade before motioning for Trazdia and Proust to hold their prisoner.

"Please…I don't…I didn't do anything!" Corbone cried.

"Then tell me how Shazzia has known things that were only meant for our ears. Things like times and dates and coordinates…false ones, but of course you did not know that at the time. I'm sure Shazzia would be angered if she knew you were the cause of her losing several of her shipments," Suduko said.

"Corbone, Suduko is very skilled with that knife and it would be much easier on you if you told him what he wants to know," Trazdia snapped.

"I don't know!" Corbone screamed as Suduko proved just how skilled he was by stripping a thin layer of skin from his forearm. The pain was more of a burning sensation as blood slowly flowed from the wound.

"Tell me where Shazzia is!" Suduko ordered and placed the tip of the knife on the man's right arm.

"I don't…"

"You better change your story, Corbone," Proust warned as the knife once more stripped a two inch layer of skin.

"Proust! You know me…"

"Yes, I do, and I found it hard to believe you would betray us, but Suduko and Trazdia had the proof. You turned your back on our friendship and now I do the same. Tell us what we want to know and maybe Suduko won't skin you alive!"

"No…"

Suduko wiped the blade on Corbone's shirt before cutting through the fabric of his shirt and revealed the sweat soaked chest beneath. He put the tip of the blade against the man's left nipples and pressed until a pearl drop of blood formed and slid down his chest.

"No!"

"Tell me what I want to know!"

"I can't…she'll kill me!"

"She is not here, but I am!" Suduko snapped and made a thin cut across the man's heaving chest.

Corbone struggled to break free of the men holding him, but Trazdia and Proust were strong and held tight as Suduko continued to use his knife like an expert. He screamed when he felt the blade slide across his chest and knew he could not take much more as blood mingled with sweat and he fought to breathe past the nausea churning in his gut.

"Perhaps you could carve the word traitor on his chest, Suduko," Proust suggested.

"Enough…please, I'll tell you every thing I know."

"Starting with where Shazzia is and what her plans are," Suduko ordered.

"I do not know where she is…"

"Then I guess we should get on with this…"

"No, Suduko, please just listen to me. She…Shazzia had been hiding with Domitar while he tries to find her a ship. She wants to go back to space and find more slaves. She wants to take back the men she says belongs to her."

"No one belongs to her!" Suduko spat and made a cut on the man's abdomen that left him shivering with anger.

"Does she have a ship yet?" Proust asked.

"I don't know…please, I have answered your questions…I told you everything I know!"

"What should we do with him?" Trazdia asked.

"We can not let him go because he will go straight to Domitar!" Proust warned.

"No, we can not," Suduko readily agreed and then smiled. "I believe it is in our best interests to turn him over to Shariel and Kudrone."

"What would that do?" Trazdia asked.

"Shariel will make sure he is imprisoned until such time as it is safe to set him free. She is no longer a 'slaver', but she does have resources that we do not."

"Will she help us?" Proust asked.

"She and Kudrone are my guests and I am sure she will be only too glad to take care of Corbone for us," Suduko offered. "Trazdia, perhaps you should have someone covering Domitar's place at all time. At least until we find out if Domitar has found a new ship for Shazzia."

"I'm sure Shariel will take good care of Corbone until we find Shazzia," Trazdia agreed and dragged the shaking prisoner through the door.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Carson Beckett looked up from the file he'd been working on. Ronon had been by earlier and spoken to him about Sheppard and he knew the Satedan was worried about his friend. Atlantis' CMO smiled at the pale man standing in the doorway. He stood up and motioned for the Colonel to enter and nodded toward the empty chair, watching as the man moved and knew Dex had been right about the limp. "Good morning, John, how did you sleep last night?"

"Not very well, Doc," John answered, finding it impossible to lie to the Scotsman.

"Nightmares?"

"You could call them that," John told him tiredly.

"I could give you something to help you sleep."

"No, thanks anyway, Doc, but I'd rather not right now."

"Have you spoken to Dr. Heitmeyer?"

"Only when she came to see me here, but I do have an appointment with her tomorrow."

"I'm sure she'll be more than happy to see you before then if you tell her," Beckett offered.

"I know, Doc, but right now talking is not something I want to do. I need to find out who I am before I can fix the nightmares."

"I understand, but you won't be doing yourself any good if you don't sleep. Are you eating?"

"Yes, Ronon can attest to that," John said with a sheepish grin.

"Ronon, now why does that not surprise me. That man can put away more than an entire soup kitchen on a busy day. Tell me what happened?"

"I couldn't sleep last night so I took a walk and wound up in what's supposed to be my favorite spot...least that's what they tell me."

"The top balcony?"

"Yes," John answered. "Ronon found me there…we talked some and ended up in the mess hall. Did you know that the meatloaf is not so bad when it's re-heated?"

"Yes, well, I'll take your word for it."

"So, why'd you want to see me so early?"

"I know you just got out of the infirmary yesterday, but there are a couple of things we need to fix."

"Like what?" John asked softly.

"That mark on your chest is a simple procedure, but your leg."

"My leg?"

"Yes, sometime during your captivity your femur was broken and from the x-rays I'd say it was a bad one."

"Can you fix it?"

"Yes, I can, but it will mean re-breaking it and putting you in a cast for four to six weeks."

"Damn, Doc, can it wait?"

"It can, but the sooner we get it fixed the better," Beckett answered.

"When?"

"Dr. Shelby and I…"

"Dr. Shelby?"

"Wanda Shelby. She's a newcomer to Atlantis and her specialty is orthopedics. I asked her to look over your file and she said she'd like to speak with you as soon as possible."

"Doc, I know you're right and I want my leg fixed, but Shazzia and Hawk are out there and right now is not the time for me to be down."

"John, they can't get to you on Atlantis," Beckett vowed.

"I know, but I need to stay on my feet until I remember everything, Doc," John told him, closing his eyes as and moaning softly as he swallowed several times in an effort to relieve the pain stabbing through his skull. He felt Beckett's hand on his shoulder, heard his voice speaking to him, but nothing could deter the memories washing over him.

John found it hard to breathe as he felt something wrap around his neck and knifing pain through his neck. He knew it wasn't real; it was either a nightmare or something that had happened in his past, but that didn't make it any easier to deal with. He could hear familiar voices speaking, but did not know if they were talking directly to him or whether they were part of the waking nightmare he was locked in.

The pain changed, but was just as intense as his body was rocked in the chair and a snarling creature pressed its hand against his chest. He tried again to draw air into his lungs as the mirror image of his life being sucked from his body took what little air he had in his lungs from him.

Again it seemed as if the scene shifted and a screaming creature shoved him to the ground. He knew it was female and a name escaped his convulsing throat.

"Ellia…"

"John, listen to me…"

John tried to make sense of the voice so close, but the words were not reaching him as he felt something bite into his arm. The pain was instantaneous and he tried to shove her away, but she was strong, stronger than he thought possible as a flash of light crossed his field of vision and the scene changed once more.

The trees faded and were quickly replaced by the sensation of shark talons touching his face and gliding down his cheek. He thought he heard the word 'kneel' and resisted the command with every bone in his body. A face, pale in complexion, with long strands of white hair stared at him, and dark obsidian eyes that flashed with the promise of a slow death.

TBC


	42. Chapter 42

Remember, Never to Forget---42

Voices, familiar and worried reached him, but he found it hard to reach for them. His body felt heavy and laden down, but his mind kept replaying the memories that haunted him. Visions of creatures who fed on humans plagued him, and he reached for the other images.

John slowly opened his eyes, not really surprised to find Teyla, Ronon, Rodney, Elizabeth, and Carson standing at the foot of his bed. He tried to sit up, but his vision blurred and forced him to lie back down.

"Take it easy, Lad, just lie still a little longer," Beckett warned.

"What happened?" John asked as the others moved to surround him.

"What do you remember?" McKay enquired.

"Ellia…she attacked me…some kind of bug?" John asked.

"The Iratus bug," McKay said and watched as John's hand went to his neck. "It attacked you."

"Stuck something in my neck…felt like a knife in the eye," John whispered.

"That is the way you described it at the time," Teyla explained, relieved that his memory seemed to be returning, but silently wishing it had been a good memory instead of this one.

"Do you remember anything else?" Elizabeth asked hopefully.

"The wraith…kneeling, dark eyes, cold touch…I thought I was going to die," John explained as his hand touched against his chest.

"You've had several encounters with the wraith," Teyla explained. "I believe you came out on top on each of those occasions."

"Really?" John asked softly. "That's not how it looked or felt."

"Maybe not," Elizabeth said with a hint of a smile. "But you're here and for me…for all of us that means you came out on top."

John smiled and managed to sit up in spite of Beckett's warning that he take it easy. He looked down at his hand and realized escaping from the infirmary might not be as easy as he'd hoped. "Hey, Doc, any chance you can take this thing out?"

"Give me a couple of minutes to check you over and get a new set of vitals and I just might let you go," Beckett told him sympathetically. "You're blood pressure bottomed out, Lad…have you been eating?"

"I am…"

"Let me try that again. Have you been eating properly and at regular intervals?" the physician asked.

"I eat, Doc…"

"Is it staying down?"

"Sometimes," John answered honestly. Truth was he was having trouble keeping food down, not because he wasn't hungry, but because of the vivid images and nightmares he was having when he did sleep. Even that was a bit of a problem lately because sleeping meant nightmares, and nightmares meant being a slave to Hawk or Shazzia and creatures with sharp talons that ripped at his skin.

"I can give you something to calm your stomach."

"That's not the problem, Doc," John said.

"What is the problem, John?" Elizabeth asked.

"I'm not sure, but I'll work it out. It's just going to take time, but I think once my memory comes back it'll fix itself," John told them and wished he could ease their worries and fears, but that wouldn't happen until he was back on his feet. "Look, the memories are coming back…just can't wait until…"

"John, what's wrong?" Teyla asked.

"I…Rodney…"

"I'm right here, John."

"You got shot…an arrow…"

"Yes, well, why don't we forget about that?" McKay asked and heard the others chuckling softly.

"In the ass?" John asked, and suddenly understood why the others were laughing. "Carson had you doped up to the gills and you…he told us about you saying 'that's my ass isn't it…"

"Carson, I owe you!" McKay said.

"It's been open season on McKay's ass since then," Ronon added softly.

"He's been the butt of many a wee joke," Beckett said, his eyes filled with mischief as the others tried to cover their laughter.

"Come on! Isn't there something better to talk about than my ass?"

"Oh, I don't know," Weir remarked and made a show of looking at the Canadian's backside. "It looks pretty good from where I stand. What do you think, Teyla?"

"Don't answer that, Teyla!" McKay said as Beckett finished taking John's vitals. It felt good to see Sheppard smile and the fact that he was the 'butt' of the jokes again didn't bother him because it meant John had regained another memory.

"Well, Doc?" John asked when Carson finished listening to his heart.

"I think you can get out of here, but I want you to go eat something. Start with something light…maybe a bowl of soup and crackers. If that doesn't stay put then I want you to come see me and we'll find out if there's anything wrong that I've missed."

"I don't think that's possible…think you poked and prodded me more this time than you did when I was turning into that damn bug," John said, closing his eyes as another image formed in his mind.

"John?" Teyla said and reached for his arm.

"I'm okay…just seems like I'm getting flashes of memories, but they're not complete."

"Hello, John," Heitmeyer said. She'd been summoned by one of Beckett's nurses the minute Sheppard had woken and had to finish with another patient before heading for the infirmary.

"Hey, Doc," Sheppard greeted the newcomer.

"How are you feeling, John?" Heitmeyer asked as the others moved away to give them some privacy.

"I'm okay…just trying to get used to all of this. It feels like there's a television in my head and someone's switching the channels every few seconds," John answered.

"Would you like to tell me what you remember?"

"I remember a lot of things…most of them bad," John told her honestly. "Although, there have been a couple…well, Rodney would rather I didn't talk about those."

"John, the memories are coming back and although most of them seem to be of the darker variety the good ones will also come back."

"I hope so, Doc, because so far it's been mostly nightmares."

"I know, but believe me they'll come," Heitmeyer assured him.

"Doc, what about hypnosis?"

"What about it?"

"Could you…you know?"

"Could I use it to help you remember?"

"Yes."

"It's possible, but there's no way of predicting whether or not they'll be more of what you've been having. Right now I believe your better off letting nature take its course."

"What if Nature decides to be selective? Come on, Doc, I'd rather not live the rest of my life in the dark."

"If Dr. Beckett says it's all right I'll set up an appointment for tomorrow."

"In your office?"

"No, I'd rather we do it here where Dr. Beckett can help if something goes wrong," Heitmeyer told him.

"Thanks, Doc," John said. "Let me know what Carson says."

"Where are you going?"

"To get something to eat before they decide to put in another IV or feeding tube of some kind!" John told her and apologized before heading out of the infirmary. He brushed past Teyla, Rodney, Elizabeth, and Carson, but felt Ronon move with him. With no idea where he was headed, John relaxed and took the lead. There was no need for words, somehow it felt right that the big Satedan was at his side.

"We going for a run?"

"Guess so," John answered the simple question. They reached an area overlooking a section of Atlantis seldom used and without a word they began running along the upper level. John ran, slowly at first, feeling Ronon at his side in sync with each step he took. He knew Beckett would give him hell for this, but it was something he needed to do. He needed to feel the freedom of not trying to regain his memories.

Ronon felt the tension of the man running beside him, but didn't speak as they raced along the corridor. Their footsteps echoed through the area, but no one came to check on them and for that he was grateful. John Sheppard needed this more than he needed anything else. He needed the chance to feel Atlantis around him. Ronon kept pace with his friend, but could easily have outraced him, but it had been so long since he'd done this with Sheppard.

John felt the strength at his side and continued to race even as his lungs felt ready to burst. His legs ached as muscles not used to such activity strained to keep up the grueling pace. He continued along the corridor, listening to their footsteps even as his heart hammered in his chest. He had no idea how long they ran, but pain won out in the end as his leg gave out and he sank to the floor.

"You all right?"

"Yes, think so," John said and rubbed his right leg.

"Leg bothering you?"

"A little, I guess this wasn't a good idea."

"How do you feel?"

"Aside from the leg I feel great."

"Hungry?"

"Could eat something."

"The mess?"

"Sounds good," John answered.

"Let me know when you're good to go."

"Ask me next week," John answered and wasn't sure if he was joking even as he struggled to stand.

"Want me to bring you back something?"

"No…I'm good," John told him and smiled. "Thanks."

"For?"

"For not picking up the pace."

"Becket would put me on bedpan duty."

"Now that's something I'd like to see."

"Yeah, well he'd have you back in the infirmary if he knew you'd done this."

"Damn, you're not going to tell him are you?"

"Your secrets safe with me," Ronon said and waited for Sheppard to set the pace again.

**SGASGASGASGASGA  
**

Shazzia stretched out on the bed in her quarters and listened to the sound of the engine as her ship gliding through the atmosphere of another planet. So far she'd been unable to find any information on John Sheppard except that he was back at his home on Atlantis. He belonged with her and sooner or later he would be warming her bed whether he wanted to or not.

Shazzia sat up and slid her legs from the bed as thoughts of John Sheppard kept her from sleep. She wondered if his memory had returned now that he was home or was he still her 'slave'. Would he remember the nights he'd lain in her bed while she explored his body? Nothing had happened beyond her touching; mostly because John had been in so much pain that pleasure had been the furthest thing from his mind.

Shazzia slowly dressed before leaving her room and making her way to the control room. She trusted the man who piloted her ship, but there were times when she wanted to feel in control. Domitar had not lied when he said this was a good ship in spite of her size and she had already decided it would be her main vessel even after she achieved her goal of owning enough 'slave ships' to make her queen of the galaxy.

"Shazzia, you look tired."

"I am, Defano, but sleep will not come to me so I am going to take the controls for a while."

"As you wish," Defano said and relinquished the ship to the vessel's owner.

"Why don't you go spend some time with your lovely mate while there is nothing pressing to contend with?"

"I believe that is a wonderful idea. I heard from Quotia."

"What did she have to say?"

"It seems Shariel is no longer one of us."

"What does that mean?"

"She has given up 'slaving' in favor of Kudrone."

"She could have had him and kept her 'slaves' if she had been patient."

"Love does strange things to those inflicted with the disease."

"You think love is a disease, yet you have a mate…do you not love her?"

"Perhaps, but it does not blind me to the life I have chosen."

"What life is that, Defano?"

"Perhaps if you would turn control of the ship to another I could show you."

"If I were not so tired I might take you up on that offer."

"Is it that you're tired or simply that your mind is filled with memories of another man?"

"I believe Domitar was right when he told me you can read people without trying," Shazzia said with a smile.

"My race is well known for that, Shazzia."

"I know...it's why I chose you as part of my crew," Shazzia told him. "Perhaps after I've had some sleep I will take you up on your offer."

"I look forward to it," Defano said before leaving the control room.

Shazzia thought about the man's offer and was tempted to call him back, but right now her mind was on another man. John Sheppard had much to offer including a way for her to get back what she had lost. As a military member of Atlantis he would be a valuable asset to her, one that would help her show the other 'slavers' that she was a natural leader and should be given the respect of such a position.

**SGASGASGASGASGA**

John lay back on his bed and placed locked his fingers together behind his head. Atlantis was quiet as the natural order of night took over and most people took to their beds. He had eaten a light meal of soup and crackers with Ronon before excusing himself and making his way back to his quarters.

That had been nearly three hours ago and sleep was something that was still beyond his reach. He sat forward and rubbed at his leg as Beckett's warning repeated silently inside his mind. John knew it was his decision when to have the surgery, but Carson had warned him the longer he waited the more damage he could do to his leg.

John rubbed his face and leaned on his knees as he tried to remember his life before Shazzia and Hawk. Why couldn't he remember Atlantis? Why couldn't he remember flying a Jumper or going through a stargate? Why was it so hard to remember Elizabeth and Teyla, and Carson and Elizabeth? Why did Rodney seem to be the only one whose memory stayed with him? Could it have something to do with his being the last person he'd spoken to before his life had gone to hell?

John stood up and paced back and forth in his room, unaware that the limp was noticeably worse. He knew he had to get away fro a while, but where and would Elizabeth give permission for him to go? Did it really matter whether she did or not? John rubbed his forehead and frowned when he heard a soft knock on his door. Expecting it to be Elizabeth or Teyla, he was shocked when he opened it and found a weary eyed Rodney McKay standing there.

"Can I come in?"

"Guess so."

"Did I wake you…I didn't did I because if I did I can come back later or earlier as the case may be."

"Rodney, you're rambling," John said and motioned the man inside.

"Sorry, I just…I couldn't sleep and I kept thinking about you," McKay said and frowned when he watched John walk across the room and sit on the bed. "Do you want me to call Carson?"

"What for?" John asked softly.

"Your leg's bothering you isn't it?"

"A little, but it's not bad right now. What time is it, Rodney?"

"Three in the morning."

"Why aren't you sleeping?"

"I was thinking about you and what you've been through," McKay said sadly. "I wish…I wish I could have done something different."

"From everything I've been told and everything I remember you had no choice, Rodney. I told you to blow it…"

"I know, but it doesn't make it any easier, John. I thought…I thought I killed you," McKay said.

"Rodney, even if I had died it wouldn't have been your fault. Hell, I know what I went through with Shazzia and Hawk and that's bad enough, but sometimes I remember those creatures too and what they did to those people. I…"

"John, what's wrong?"

"I don't know. I just…I feel like I need to get away from here for a while," John told him.

"Where would you go?"

"I don't know…back to Earth maybe," John answered.

"Is that really what you want to do?"

"No…not really, but I need some space, Rodney. I need to go somewhere so I can think and maybe make some sense of what happened."

"John, do you remember Suduko?"

"Big guy…massive arms."

"That's him. He has a home in the mountains…a place they call the Retreat. It's beautiful there and reminds me of the Rocky Mountains up around Jasper and Banff," McKay said.

"What does that have to do with my getting away?"

"Suduko invited us back there whenever you felt up to traveling. I believe it's the perfect place for you to relax and think. Suduko's sister is a wonderful cook and I'm betting she'll take you under her wing and get you eating again."

"I don't know, Rodney."

"What harm could it do, John?"

"I'll think about it," John said and stood up. "I'm kind of tired, McKay…"

"What did you say?" the Canadian asked excitedly.

"I said I'm kind of tired," John answered.

"No, you said I'm kind of tired, McKay," Rodney said with a grin.

"Yeah, so?"

"You haven't called me that since you disappeared," McKay told him.

"So?"

"It's a sign, John, a good sign that your memory is coming back," Rodney told him. "Look, get some sleep and we'll talk about this again in the morning. Think about what I said, John, I really think it'll do you good…do us both some good."

"I'll think about it, Rodney," John said and closed the door when the other man left. He looked at the bed tiredly and lay down in spite of the trepidation he felt.

TBC


	43. Chapter 43

Remember, Never to Forget---43

John woke with a start and sat up in bed while glancing around the darkened room. His body trembled uncontrollably as memories from his nightmares followed him into the real world. His gut churned and raced for the bathroom as the meager contents of his stomach made a return trip. He sank to the floor and leaned his head against the wall as he tried to think past the nightmare images that turned his stomach.

John lost track of time as he sat on the floor with his legs drawn up and his arms wrapped around his knees. He couldn't stop the onslaught of images as horrific images flashed across his mind. The creatures were insidious, but it was Shazzia and Hawk who were the real monsters in all this. They were slavers, people who bought and sold living beings as if they were sheep in some bazaar, twisted frightening reality based on some cheap horror novel.

Sheppard drew in a deep breath when he heard the familiar sound that signaled someone was outside his door. He wanted to stay where he was, but whoever was out there was insistent on seeing him and he finally stood up and walked toward the door. John closed his eyes and again breathed deeply before allowing the door to open. He gasped and tried to call for help as he felt sharp pinpricks on his chest, arms, and legs and knew the small suction cups were sucking the life from him. He stared into a bulbous mouth with rows of razor sharp teeth.

John tried to draw air into his oxygen starved mouth, but the creature's arms were wrapped tightly around his chest, trapping his arms against his body as its mouth closed over his throat. He managed to scream, but no sound escaped as his mind began to shut down and his body convulsed against the hideous creature.

"No!" John screamed as his eyes shot open and he stared around the room in horror. The light was dim, but he knew where he was and struggled to his feet as a chill raged inside him. God, he was so damn cold and he trembled as he tried to rub feeling back into his arms.

John stared at his image in the mirror, an image he hardly recognized, yet he knew he was awake for real this time as pain flared in his leg when he tried to put weight on it. He cursed softly and leaned in close to the mirror as sweat beaded on his forehead and weakness made him lightheaded. The familiar sound that signaled someone was outside the door startled him and he froze at the thought that he was still locked in his dreams.

The sound was repeated and John knew he had to answer it, even if it was another waking nightmare. He walked slowly, wincing at the pain in his leg and waiting for it to pass as he reached the door and opened it to find Elizabeth Weir standing there.

"John, are you all right?"

"I'm fine," John lied and motioned her to come inside the room.

"Are you sure…you look like you haven't slept," Weir remarked.

"Slept some," John told her, but didn't mention that it had been on the bathroom floor.

"Carson said he talked to you about surgery on your leg," Weir said. She'd seen the way he favored it and hoped he would agree to have it fixed.

"He did," Sheppard answered softly.

"Did he say when?"

"He said it was my choice, and right now I'd rather not think about it, Elizabeth."

"John…"

"Look, I will have the surgery, but I'd rather wait until I know…until the…"

"Until what, John?"

"Until I'm ready, Elizabeth," Sheppard snapped and immediately regretted the sharp tone he used. "I'm sorry…it's just…look, I just need some time."

"I understand," Weir said.

"Rodney mentioned going to visit some place called The Retreat," John told her.

"I don't think that's wise right now. Not with…not while you're…"

"Not while I'm what? Not while I'm a liability?"

"I didn't say that, John," Weir said and watched his face as several emotions seemed to be warring for dominance.

"I know you didn't, Elizabeth, but right now that's what I am…to the expedition…to the city…and especially to the people. I'm no good like this! I have trouble remembering who key personnel are and I'm supposed to be the military leader here. I need some time to myself and The Retreat sounds like something I'd like to see…it fits my mood lately because I seem to have retreated from everything I once knew."

"John, nobody considers you a liability…"

"Have you asked Kavanagh? I don't think he'd agree with you."

"Do you remember him?" Elizabeth asked hopefully.

"A pain in the ass who worries too much about his own behind."

"Your memory is returning…that's an apt description of him," Weir said of the man she'd dressed down on more than one occasion.

"Elizabeth, I need to do this…I need to know that I can trust myself," John told her.

"When do you want to go?"

"As soon as possible," John answered.

"I'll agree to this if Carson clears it. If he does then I'll have Rodney, Teyla, and Ronon go with you," Weir said.

"Thank you for understanding," John said, and watched her leave. He made his way back to the bathroom and again stared at the stranger in the mirror. His face was pale and gaunt, while his eyes still held a hint of the unknown and that terrified him more than anything. He wanted…needed to know he could trust himself before he allowed others to trust him. He leaned his head against the mirror and allowed his mind to wander.

Images flashed like random pictures in a montage that left him craving more. He knew who he was and what he was supposed to do, but he couldn't put his faith in his memories because he didn't trust himself. Not while his thoughts were so jumbled and his visions were a reminder of how he'd lived as a slave for so long…too long. With a heavy sigh, John made his way back to his bed and lay down before giving in to the nightmares that plagued him.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Carson Beckett folded his arms across his chest and stared at the man standing before him. John Sheppard was stubborn, even if he didn't have all his memories. The physician wasn't sure he liked the idea of this man going off world when he still had some healing to do.

"Carson, I'm okay and I need to do this," John told him.

"I understand, John, but your leg needs to be taken care of soon," Beckett told him.

"Let me do this and I'll report to the infirmary as soon as I get back," John offered.

"How long will you be gone?"

"A week maybe a little longer, I just need some time to make sense of everything," John answered.

"Who's going with you?"

"Rodney, Teyla, and Ronon," John answered.

"All right, but…"

"Thanks, Carson…"

"Let me finish," Beckett told him. "If there are any problems, no matter how small, I want you back here. I want you to report any change in your memory especially if they're accompanied by headaches."

"I will," John said and shook the man's hand before leaving the infirmary. He knew he was taking a chance by going off world because Hawk was out there and John knew he would not give up easily. If there was one thing he'd learned about the slaver, it was that the man coveted his possessions, and would do anything to make sure they stayed in his hands.

"All right…take the time you need and report to me as soon as you return," Beckett told him.

"Thanks, Doc," John said and didn't even realize he gave him the trademark Sheppard grin that everyone else would recognize as cocky and sure. He left the infirmary and made his way toward the mess hall where the others were waiting.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

"John, would you like to take the controls?" McKay asked as soon as they were through the stargate.

"I don't remember how to fly it," John answered solemnly.

"It should come naturally to you," the Canadian explained. "You just need to think about what you want the ship to do."

"I don't…"

"John, if it does not work Rodney can take the controls," Teyla offered, hoping the colonel would understand how completely they trusted him.

John looked at the trio who made up his team and saw trust in each of their faces. He took a deep breath and was soon in control of the ship. It felt so right being here, able to control the movement of the craft as he flew across the valley toward the mountains in the distance.

Rodney smiled as his friend seemed to relax in the command seat and glide the Puddle Jumper over the treetops toward their destination high in the mountains. Even with his memory loss Sheppard could fly the ship and that was something of an enigma considering he couldn't recall most of the things that went with being Atlantis' military commander.

"Rodney, where is this retreat?" John asked softly.

"Not far, just continue on the course set out," McKay answered.

"Maybe you should take it from here," John suggested.

"Even with your memory loss you're far more natural with the controls than I'll ever be," the Canadian said. "Just think about where we're going and relax."

"Relax, he says," John grumbled, but found himself sitting back in the command seat as they neared their destination.

"Change course until you fly past The Retreat and you'll see Suduko's home near an open valley," McKay explained.

John took a deep breath and concentrated on the craft. Again he felt at home and allowed his mind to calculate the distances they were traveling. He soon spotted The Retreat and flew over it until he reached the outskirts and spotted the valet McKay had told him about. It was beautiful as was the home set against the large trees with the mountains rising high above the area.

"John, you're doing fine," Teyla offered with a smile.

"Thanks," John said as he settled the ship in a clearing near another unfamiliar craft. He felt tiny beads of sweat on his face, but he returned Teyla's smile as he turned to see his team watching him.

"Knew you could do it," Ronon said softly as the rear hatch opened and Suduko stood watching them.

"Welcome back," Suduko said simply.

"Thank you," Teyla said graciously stepping out of the Jumper. "Thank you for allowing us to return so soon."

"You are always welcome in my home, Teyla Emmagan," Suduko said and turned to study the man standing between McKay and Dex.

"Suduko, allow me to introduce Colonel John Sheppard," Teyla said.

"You look healed, Colonel Sheppard," Suduko said and offered the man his hand, surprised when it was taken and held in a firm grip.

"I am…pretty much any way," John told him.

"Has your memory returned?" the big man asked.

"Some of it," John said.

"Suduko, it is in bad taste to allow your guests to stand out here while the mid day meal cools on the table," Kierra scolded and smiled at Teyla, Ronon, and Rodney before turning her attention to the newcomer. "You look as if you could use a good meal or two…"

"Kierra, this is our friend Colonel John Sheppard," Emmagan said by way of introduction.

"I am not on fro formalities…may I call you John?"

"John's fine, Ma'am."

"Very well and please call me Kierra," the woman said and linked her arm through his. "Come, there is plenty of food and perhaps you would enjoy the sweet dessert I prepared."

John looked helplessly at the others as Kierra propelled him toward the house, but he knew he wouldn't get any sympathy from them. Kierra was talking excitedly to him, but only a few words reached him as they entered the house. The smell hit him and his stomach rumbled anticipatorily as he was finally seated at the table.

"John, this is my husband Bendor," Kierra said.

"Hello, John, I have heard many stories about you from your friends and I am pleased they were able to rescue you," Bendor said.

"Thank you," John said, surprised at how easily these people seemed to accept him into their home.

"There is no need for thanks, John, your friends are our friends and have proven themselves by helping my brother and bringing him home," Kierra explained and filled the bowl she'd placed in front of him. "This is a stew made from the roots of a Sakurios Tree and will help you."

"Help me?"

"Yes, it is said that those who eat the Sakurios Tree roots are able to draw on their memories…"

"Even those that are no longer there," Teyla said. "I had thought the Sakurios Tree was destroyed many cycles ago."

"It was and there is very little of the root to be found. I used the last of what I had to make this stew because Suduko asked it of me. He is hoping that someday John and all others like him will be able to help rid our galaxy of people like Shazzia and Hawk," Kierra explained.

"I'm all for that," McKay agreed.

"Likewise," Ronon agreed and watched as Sheppard tasted the thick, sweet smelling stew.

"The roots are naturally sweet and have been given to our people when they are afflicted with memory loss due to age or other diseases."

"If this is true it could be a cure for Alzheimers," McKay said excitedly. "Are you sure there isn't any more of these Sak…Sak…"

"Sakurios roots," Kierra offered. "I am afraid they were totally destroyed during a solar storm more than forty cycles ago. We have tried to grow them, but I'm afraid there is nothing left of the trees."

"Perhaps in some other section of your world…somewhere you haven't looked?" McKay asked.

"We have searched everywhere, but you are welcome to conduct your own search," Bendor told him.

"Teyla, this could be an important discovery…would you come with me to search the planet?" the Canadian asked hopefully.

"Of course," Teyla answered with a tilt of her head.

"Ronon, you stay here with John," McKay ordered and received a slight nod from the quiet Satedan.

"I don't need anyone watching over me," John said softly.

"We know, John, but Teyla and I can search the planet for the roots using the Puddle Jumper. This way you two can get some rest until we return," the Canadian explained.

"How long will you be gone?" John asked.

"That depends on how soon we find the area where the trees grew," McKay answered.

"Perhaps I could show you," Bendor offered. "I know the area in the mountains and it can be dangerous if you are not careful."

"Thank you…we would be honored to have you with us," Teyla said and watched as John finished the stew.

"John, we'll be in radio contact if there are any problems," McKay assured him as Teyla followed him out the door.

John looked at Ronon and saw a hint of a smile on the other man's face as he watched the others leave. "Wonder how long it takes for this to work?"

"If it works…heard tell of it on Sateda," Dex explained.

"It works," Suduko told them. "I have seen many people afflicted with memory loss recover…Kierra was the one who suggested trying it on you."

"Thank you, Kierra," John said.

"You are welcome, John, and I hope it works for you."

"How long before we know?" Ronon asked.

"There is no way to accurately predict the time, but if you are as strong as your friends say you are it should begin working very soon," the woman answered.

John nodded and realized how tired he suddenly felt as he looked around the room. He rubbed at tired eyes and tried to stand, but a hand grasped his arm and he looked into Kierra's sympathetic eyes.

"I forgot that the roots also cause weariness…I am sorry, but the effect will not last long. We have a guest room and there are clean blankets on the bed," Kierra offered.

"Sheppard, are you okay?"

"Think so, Ronon, just so damn tired," John told him and allowed the bigger man to help him to his feet.

"Bring him this way," Kierra ordered and led them toward a room at the back of the house. She helped Ronon settle the weary man down on the bed and lifted a soft blanket up over him as a heavy sigh escaped him.

"I'll stay with him," Dex told her.

"He will be fine, Ronon, I would not do anything to harm him," Kierra reassured the Satedan.

Ronon nodded and watched her leave before settling onto the floor beside the bed. He placed his hand on his weapon and hoped he wouldn't have any need to use it.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Shazzia listened to her father as he gave her the news that made her heart soar. John Sheppard was at The Retreat and that meant he would soon be hers. It would take several hours to reach her world, but Domitar would keep her updated about the man and his friends. Perhaps she would also take Rodney McKay and Suduko, but for now she needed to concentrate on John Sheppard because there was something about him that made her reckless.

Shazzia took control of her ship and flew toward her destination as a plan formed in her mind, one that would see John Sheppard in her bed where he belonged.

TBC


	44. Chapter 44

Remember, Never to Forget---44

John Sheppard opened his eyes and looked around the unfamiliar room. He tried to remember why he was no longer on Atlantis, but his head felt like it was filled with cotton. He lay still for a few minutes, letting the images flow through his mind before sitting up and rubbing his hands across his face.

John stood and walked to the window, staring out at the dark landscape and remembered Rodney asking him to go to a place called The Retreat. He took a deep breath of air and caught just a hint of wildflowers carried by the soft breeze that ruffled his too long hair.

A sudden image flashed across his mind, a memory that had long been buried of his mother complaining that he needed a haircut. She'd taken him and his brother to the barber shop in the city where they'd both been given the full treatment. He thought of his mother's touch and her soft hands and just a subtle hint of jasmine. That's what the scent reminded him of and he knew his memory was returning.

John made his way across the floor and opened the door, listening for any sign of movement, but it seemed as if everyone was sleeping. With quiet steps he walked to the main door and opened it without making a sound. The night sky was illuminated with bright stars twinkling on an inky black canvas that took his breath away.

John stepped onto the path leading away from the house and listened for the sounds of the night. A sharp call of a bird was followed by something that sounded like a timber wolf, while crickets added their own special music giving the late hour a calming influence over the sleeping house.

John thought about his life, amazed at how quickly his memories were returning since drinking whatever it was Kierra had given him. He remembered Atlantis, he remembered his family on Earth, but most of all he remembered the people of the Atlantis Expedition. The ones that had come to mean so much to him and had put their faith in him to help lead them in the fight against enemies like the Wraith.

The landscape, although alien to him offered him time fro reflection and he followed the path leading away from the house. He knew he should tell someone where he was going, but right now he needed to be alone and soak in the memories that seemed to be returning each time he blinked his eyes.

"Better be careful, John, the path is treacherous to those who don't know their way."

"Suduko, right?" John asked of the man who'd stepped in his path.

"That is correct. Has Kierra's ale helped you?"

"Yes, it has. My memories are returning," Sheppard answered.

"Your friends will be glad to hear that. They have been very worried about you."

"Thanks…where does this path lead?"

"To a cliff that overlooks a valley created by the Gods and explored by very few," Suduko told him.

"You explored it though," John stated.

"Yes, I have," the bigger man answered simply and looked down the darkened pathway.

"How far?"

"Perhaps ten minutes, but you are limping…"

"It's nothing…Carson will fix it when I get back to Atlantis," John explained.

"Would you like to see the valley?"

"Yes," John answered and followed Suduko along the path. The man was right about it being treacherous, but as long as he took the time to find his footing he was fine.

"McKay did not find any of the trees or roots he was searching for."

"Are they back already?"

"They returned several hours ago while you were sleeping," Suduko answered.

"Kierra used the last of it on me?"

"Yes, she did."

"Damn, I wish she hadn't done that. Someday someone important might need it."

"Do not look down on Kierra's gift to you, John, she chose to give it to you because she sensed that you were a good man and that your people needed you," Suduko told him and stopped as they exited the path into a clearing where night birds called out a warning. "The Valley of Dreams."

"Is that what you call it?"

"My mother said it was something out of her dreams and the name seemed to stick," Suduko explained, wondering why he was revealing so much to this man. They were quiet as the looked out over the valley until John spoke softly beside him.

"McKay said you knew what it was like to be a slave."

"I do."

"Was it Shazzia?"

"Yes, but it was many cycles ago," Suduko answered.

"How did you escape?"

"I had help, but the memories of my time with her are very strong. Shazzia will never change her ways and until she is caught and brought to justice you are in danger, John."

"She sold me to Hawk."

"Yes, but she has sense spoken to others of her mistake. She wants you back because you are military, but that is only a small part of it. Shazzia truly believes she has the right to own you."

"She doesn't…no one has the right to own another person. I'm going to stop her before she screws with someone else's life," John said.

"There will always be slavers, John."

"I know, but as long as there are people willing to fight them, then they'll never have any kind of peace. I won't stop until I find her and Hawk."

"There has been no word of Hawk since you escaped. It is possible he is in hiding and…"

"No, not Hawk. That bastard is out there somewhere and when I meet him again…"

"Shariel and Kudrone spoke of his defeat at your hands," Suduko told him. "Kudrone also sent word that Tyrel of Glione is doing well and that his people look to him as a leader since he returned. He spoke of your bravery in facing Hawk and making him grant Tyrel's freedom while you remained a slave."

"I don't think it was bravery," John said softly.

"Perhaps not, but others do and you should know stories of your bravery are being told on many worlds. You may become a legend before long," Suduko offered.

"What about you, Suduko, aren't you a legend?"

"No, I don't think so."

"You escaped Shazzia and if I remember McKay's stories correctly you're one of the few that escaped her and lived to talk about it. That makes you a legend whether you want to be one or not," John said, frowning when he spotted a blinking light that seemed out of context in the blanket of stars.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Shazzia was more than a little pleased by the changes she'd made to the ship Domitar had given her. The weapons capability had more than doubled, while the engines had been modified and she could outrun almost any vessel in the Pegasus Galaxy. Her engineer had also discovered a new device that allowed them to transport out of the ship, but he hadn't figured out how to bring them back yet. It didn't really matter because she knew instinctively that one of the two life signs they detected during the last sweep was John Sheppard.

Shazzia had no idea who the second man was, and right now it didn't matter. She wanted Sheppard back, had done everything she could to find him and Domitar had given her the news that he was staying with Suduko. Now they were cloaked and flying low, the ships engines so silent it could not be heard unless you knew it was there.

Shazzia felt her heartbeat speeding up at the thought of how close she was to the virile Atlantian and she reached for the weapon she'd placed on the console beside her.

"Shazzia, are you sure you should go down there?"

"Defano, he is there. I can feel his presence and he will bow down to me as is my right. John Sheppard belongs to me and I will have him back," Shazzia said, ignoring the fact that she'd sold him to Hawk. He had not been strong enough to hold on to the Atlantian and now she would take him back and make damn sure no one interfered.

"What about the other presence? What if he does not allow you to take John Sheppard?"

"Then he will die or become a slave," Shazzia told him. "It's time, Defano, bring us closer-"

"How many are you taking with you?"

"You and two others. I do not believe they are expecting us at this late hour and the fewer we take the less chance of anyone else discovering us," Shazzia answered confidently.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Kudrone knew that Shariel was worried about something, but so far she hadn't told him why they were in such a hurry to reach Suduko's home. He knew she was still not completely cut off from her former life and that many of her associates were angered by her actions. It made him love her more than ever and he vowed to stay with her no matter what happened.

"Shariel, tell me why it is so important to reach Suduko's home."

"There have been rumors amongst the slavers, Kudrone," Shariel answered.

"What kind of rumors?"

"Shazzia had a new ship and she was seen speaking to one of Domitar's people at a bar on Eros," the former slaver explained.

"Domitar is her father and perhaps he was simply enquiring after his daughter's wellbeing," Kudrone suggested hopefully.

"We both know better than that, My Love," Shariel said and held him close. "Shazzia would not show herself unless she has information on John Sheppard. She is not strong enough to try anything more."

"John Sheppard is safe on Atlantis."

"No, word reached me through several acquaintances that John Sheppard and several other Atlantians have journeyed to Suduko's home."

"Why would they do that?" Kudrone asked worriedly.

"I am not sure, but I believe it has to do with helping Sheppard heal," Shariel answered. "That is the reason I have diverted from our original course."

"We are going to help Sheppard and his people?"

"That is the plan," Shariel answered.

"How long before we reach Suduko's home?"

"Not soon enough to stop Shazzia," Shariel told him and saw the look of worry on his face. "We'll get there, Kudrone, and I promise you I'll do everything I can to stop Shazzia."

"Thank you, Shariel, you have changed so much and I love that you would do this for not only me, but everyone who has been hurt by slavery."

"You made it possible, Kudrone, and I will not go back to that life. Come, we must hurry if we are to help them at all," the woman ordered and took control of the craft.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

"What the hell is that?" John said as the light seemed to wink in and out of focus.

"I do not know, but perhaps we should get back to the house," Suduko warned and turned just as something materialized directly in front of him.

"Hello, Suduko, are you happy to see me?" Shazzia asked and aimed her weapon at the big man even as she trained her eyes on the man standing slightly behind and to the left of him. "Hello, John, remember me?"

"Should I?" John asked, frowning as he looked at the newcomer.

Suduko saw the woman falter slightly, but she quickly regained her composure as two of her henchmen disarmed him. He knew the Atlantian remembered this slaver, and he would play along with whatever ruse John came up with. The fact that Shazzia had caught them in the open grated on his nerves, but it did not mean they were in a no win situation…far from it because he saw something of a twin spirit in John Sheppard.

Shazzia slipped past Suduko and stood in front of the man she'd once owned and smiled at the thought of renewing that ownership. The Atlantian did not shy away from her, even when she reached out to run her fingers along his strong jaw line. "Now, John, something tells me you're lying to me, but that is expected and gives me something exciting to look for when I have you back in my bed. You do remember my bed, John; we shared some special times before I sold you to Hawk?"

"Who are you?" John asked innocently, keeping the emotions from his face.

"Come now, John, I find it hard to believe you do not remember our time together."

"I don't," John told her, smiling inwardly at the anger that flared in her eyes. God help him, but he remembered his time with her all too well, but it felt good to make her believe he had no memory of their time together.

"It does not matter, John, for I will have time to make new memories with you," Shazzia said and turned to the other man. "It pleases me that you will also return to my care, Suduko, for I have missed your unique brand of begging…"

"I never begged you for anything, Shazzia!"

"That's not how I remember it, but we will also have time to renew our friendship."

"We'd rather not," John told her and stepped up beside the bigger man.

"I am afraid you have no choice in the matter, John. It seems you and Suduko are to be my guest whether you want to or not."

"I am not a slave anymore, Shazzia," Suduko vowed.

"Yes, you are, Suduko, because once I own you it is forever…"

"What about John, you sold him to Hawk. Let him go and I will go with you…"

"I must say that is a very tempting offer, Suduko, but you and John will both be coming with me."

"That's not going to happen," John told her.

"It appears I have the advantage here, John…"

"Appearances can be deceiving, Shazzia," John said with a grin. He'd seen movement in the brush behind Shazzia's henchmen and knew they were no longer alone. Instincts told him it was his team and anyone else who'd been at Suduko's home and that meant Shazzia was about to find out she didn't hold all the cards.

"I grow tired," Shazzia said and pointed her weapon at John Sheppard. "It is time to leave."

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Ronon had woken when he heard the door of the house open. He'd found the house too warm and decided to make his bed under the stars. The cool evening breeze had lulled him to sleep, but he'd never been a deep sleeper and watched as John Sheppard moved toward the path leading toward the valley.

Ronon trusted Kierra and knew there was nothing in the liquid she'd given Sheppard that would hurt him, and hoped it helped him regain his memory. McKay and Teyla had returned empty handed, but if it worked as it was supposed to then the last of the roots had been used for a worthy cause.

The Satedan stood up and followed Sheppard down the path, staying far enough behind so the Colonel would not know he was there until he was ready to show himself. When he heard Suduko's voice, Ronon decided he should leave the two men to talk in private and headed back to the house.

Just before he'd returned to his bed for the night Ronon heard a strange sound overhead and looked up to see a flash of bright light that lasted less than a second. He knew it could have been his imagination, but something about it felt wrong and he walked off the porch step and tried to find out where it was. The path it was taking led to the valley where Suduko and Sheppard were and Ronon acted instantly.

Dex hurried into the house and called out, rousing McKay who'd fallen asleep in a chair in front of the fireplace. "Teyla, McKay, we've got trouble."

"What the hell…what kind of trouble could we possibly have at four in the morning?"

"Bad trouble…"

"Is there any other kind, Ronon? I mean really trouble is trouble…"

"Shut up and grab your weapon, McKay!" Dex ordered.

"Ronon, what's wrong?" Teyla asked from the room at the end of the hallway.

"Not sure, Teyla, but John and Suduko are out at the valley and there were lights in the sky," Ronon explained.

"You're going to let a few lights scare you? What if it's just a falling star or two?" McKay spat.

"Rodney, Ronon knows the difference between a falling star and a sip," Teyla said.

"Look we're wasting time…McKay stay here…Teyla are you coming?" Dex asked.

"I'm coming," the Canadian snapped and grabbed his weapon.

"We're coming too," Bendor said as he and Kierra joined their guests.

"There are two ways to reach the valley." Kierra explained. "Ronon, you, Teyla, and Dr. McKay keep on the main trail. Bendor and I will come in from the back."

"What if Ronon is wrong?" McKay asked.

"Then we will al have a laugh at his expense, but if he is right then we will be there to help John and Suduko," Emmagan said as they hurried from the house.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Shazzia smiled seductively as she moved around John and stood with her weapon pressed against his lower back. "It is time to renew our acquaintance, John," she whispered.

"I don't think so," John said and twisted until he was ale to grab the gun. He'd banked on her wanting him alive and knew if he was wrong he was a dead man. The sound of a gun being discharged and raised voices quickly followed by more gunshots and the familiar sound of Ronon's gun drowned out everything else. John stared into Shazzia's eyes as pain shot through his body and he cried out as his legs bent and the woman's weight dragged him to the ground.

"John!"

TBC


	45. Chapter 45

Remember, Never to Forget---45

Shariel knew they'd arrived too late to help stop Shazzia, but she moved to help John Sheppard's people as more of Shazzia's men arrived. There were shots fired and she heard someone cry out John's name and saw him and Shazzia fall to the ground. Whether one or both had been shot, there was no way of knowing, but right now they needed to secure the area before anyone else got hurt.

Shariel recognized McKay, Emmagan, and Dex as they worked with Suduko, Bendor, and Kierra and hoped they would understand she really was on their side now.

"Shariel, I need to help John," Kudrone said.

"I'll cover you, but be careful…Shazzia will not give up easily!" Shariel warned as she watched the slaver dragging herself and John toward the thick brush. "Shazzia, give it up!"

"You are a traitor, Shariel!"

"No, I just realized what we were doing was wrong on so many levels," Shariel said and moved toward Shazzia even as Ronon and McKay did the same.

"Let him go, Shazzia!" McKay ordered.

"Jealous, Rodney?" Shariel asked as she kept Sheppard's semi conscious body in front of her. "Perhaps you would like to accompany John and me?"

"I don't think so!" the Canadian spat. He saw Teyla out of the corner of his eyes and realized she was nearly in position where she could take the slaver down. Their biggest problem was that Shazzia could easily take Sheppard's life if the gun she held was still in operation.

John had remained unmoving, pretending he was unconscious, but now he had to do something or one of his friends could be hurt. He couldn't allow that to happen and reacted on instinct as Ronon and Rodney moved toward his position. His body ached and there was a sharp pain in his leg as he moved, while a spreading wetness on his side told him he'd been shot.

"Come, Rodney, you know you enjoyed being in my company."

"Sure, just as much as I'd enjoy being with a hungry anaconda!" McKay snapped and noticed the change in Sheppard. The man was pale, but he seemed to be conscious and if he was McKay was sure he could be counted on to try something. Rodney just hoped it wouldn't get Sheppard killed.

John moved on instinct and drove his head back into the woman who was dragging him across the ground. She was stronger than he remembered, but he'd never forget what it felt to be her slave. There was no way he'd go back to that, not when his memory was finally returning and Atlantis and his family were waiting.

Shazzia cried out when her captive's head snapped back and connected with her chin. She tried to hold him, but he rolled away, leaving her exposed to the people surrounding her. She lifted her gun and aimed it toward Suduko, but cried out as something slammed into her back and the weapon dropped from her lifeless fingers.

John lay on the ground, his body trembling as the adrenalin rush that had made it possible for him to move dissipated. He was aware of pain in his leg and he held his right arm tight against his side. Hands touched him and he recognized Kudrone and knew the man was trying to help, but he suddenly wished Carson Beckett was somewhere close by.

"Don't move, John, let me see how bad it is," Kudrone ordered and lifted the shirt so he could check the wound in the man's side.

"We need to take him back to Atlantis," McKay observed.

"Kudrone knows what he's doing," Shariel offered.

"Yes, but we need…he needs Carson," the Canadian said.

"Rodney, why don't you go bring the Jumper here," Teyla suggested.

"The Jumper…yes," McKay said and stared at Sheppard. "I'll bring the Jumper. We'll have you back under Carson's care before you know it."

"John, you're bleeding pretty badly," Kudrone said as Shariel handed him his kit and didn't bother to ask how she'd got it so fast. "Are you hurt anywhere else?"

"Leg…twisted it under me when Shazzia shot me," Sheppard explained.

"Dr. Beckett said he would take care of the colonel's leg when we returned. It was not set properly when he injured it with Hawk," Teyla explained.

"I did the best I could, but Hawk would not allow me the time…"

"Not your fault, Kudrone," John said and gripped the man's hand in his own. "You saved my life on more than one occasion."

"I wish I could have done more."

"You and Shariel are doing more than you can possibly know," Sheppard assured him and looked up to see Ronon watching him and a small grin formed on his face as he spoke. "Chewie."

"Good to have you back, Sheppard," was all Ronon needed to say.

"There's nothing more I can do here. I believe Rodney was right about him needed to be back on Atlantis," Kudrone said.

"Rodney will be back with the Jumper shortly," Teyla explained.

John looked from Ronon to Teyla and couldn't help, but smile at the feeling their presence gave him. They hadn't given up on him, not even when they'd been sure he was dead. They'd picked up the search with Rodney McKay and he was finally going home, something he'd remember never to forget again.

John closed his eyes as Kudrone continued to press something against the wound to his right side, but he felt the edges of darkness reaching for him. The pain had grown worse and he knew he wasn't hiding it from the others as Teyla placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Rodney is here, John," Emmagan told him as the Puddle Jumper landed near the edge of the clearing.

"Should I carry him?"

"I don't think so, Ronon," Sheppard said and reached for the offered hand.

"John, you shouldn't move around too much," Kudrone warned.

"Not planning too…just need to make it to the Jumper," the colonel explained and allowed the Satedan to pull him upright. He leaned on Ronon, allowing the other man to take his weight as he limped toward the Puddle Jumper. He knew McKay was inside as the rear hatch opened and stopped Dex long enough to turn to the people who had saved his life. "Thank you…all of you," he said softly.

"We will remember, John, and we will never forget what slavery does to people," Shariel assured him.

"That's all we ask, Shariel," Sheppard told her as they finally made it on board the Jumper. He lowered himself onto the seat at the back and allowed the fatigue and pain to show as Teyla knelt beside him.

"Colonel…"

"I'm okay, Teyla, let's go home," Sheppard told her as she reached for the first aid kit. "Rodney, take us home!"

"I'm working on it," McKay said from the pilot's seat as the rear hatch closed. He silently cursed himself for suggesting the trip and hoped his friend would not pay the price for his suggestion.

**SGASGASGASGASGA**

Carson Beckett's medical team was waiting in the gateroom when Puddle Jumper one returned. McKay had contacted Atlantis before entering the gate and told them of the injuries to John Sheppard. The stretcher had everything he'd need to make a cursory examination and start treatment, but they'd be taking the injured colonel directly to the infirmary.

The rear hatch opened and revealed an extremely worried SG team as they hovered around Sheppard. Beckett hurried inside and knelt beside the man, shaking his head when he saw the blood staining the bandage covering his right side. "What have ya done now, Lad?"

"Just ran into a bit of trouble, Doc," Sheppard managed weakly.

"Now why doesn't that surprise me? You could find trouble at a birthday party," Beckett lightly scolded. He motioned for the stretcher to be brought inside and soon had Sheppard moved to it. They quickly hooked up an IV and Carson injected several medications including one that would help with the pain so openly read on Sheppard's face.

"Thanks, Doc," Sheppard said, smiling thinly as Elizabeth Weir and Radek Zelenka joined the people waiting outside the Jumper. "It's good to be home."

"It's good to have you home, John," Weir said as the stretcher was wheeled past her. "Carson?"

"I don't know anything yet, Elizabeth," Beckett said and helped maneuver the stretcher toward the infirmary. Once inside they wheeled Sheppard into a closed trauma room where monitoring equipment was quickly set up. Carson checked the readings as he explained to the injured colonel what they were doing and was surprised when the man placed a hand on his wrist.

"I trust you, Doc, always have," Sheppard told him.

"Yes, well…"

"I remember…everything, Carson," the colonel managed before letting the darkness claim him.

Carson Beckett couldn't help the smile that formed when Sheppard spoke those words. There'd been something in his eyes just before he'd surrendered to exhaustion and the heavy duty pain medication he'd been give, something that leant credence to the man's words. Atlantis would soon be whole again once the colonel was back on his feet, but right now they needed to see to his injuries.

Carson had never been one to shy away from his duty and he wasn't about to start now. He eased back the bandage and checked the raw wound with gentle fingers as the nurse started a second IV to replenish lost fluids. "We need to remove the bullet."

"Carson, how is he?"

"Wanda, he's got a bullet in his side and lost a lot of blood, but in typical stubborn Sheppard style I believe he'll make it. I'm going to scrub for surgery. Are you ready to fix his leg?"

"Certainly, Carson, I was just going over the x-rays and scans and as long as you think he's strong enough we might as well kill two birds with one stone."

"That's one cliché I'd rather you didn't use right now," Beckett said.

"Sorry, I forgot where I was," Wanda Shelby said with a slight smile. "Is there anything else I should know?"

"No, I believe it's just his side and leg this time," the physician said. "I'm going to let Elizabeth know what's happening and I'll join you in a few minutes."

"All right, Carson," Shelby said and looked at the monitors, glad there seemed to be nothing that could cause problems.

Carson hurried out of the room and found the members of Sheppard's team, accompanied by Weir and Zelenka waiting for him. Beckett held up his hands to ward off the questions he knew were coming. "I just have a minute so let me tell you what's happening and I'll update you as son as we're finished. The wound to Colonel Sheppard's side is serious, but once we remove the bullet he should be fine barring any complications. Dr. Shelby is also going to fix his leg at the same time."

"Thank God," Weir said.

"Yes, well, I'm sure Carson already did," McKay said and sank tiredly onto the chair.

"I'll be back as soon as we're finished, but it could take some time so you might as well go…"

"I'm staying," the Canadian vowed.

"Stay then, but don't go harassing the nurses for word because they won't know anything until surgery is over," Beckett lightly scolded.

"Come on, McKay, I'll let you buy me dinner," Dex said.

"Oh really and just what makes you think-"

"Ignore him, Rodney, and I'll buy you both dinner," Weir offered as Beckett headed back through the doors. The group made their way toward the Mess Hall and soon had their meal and was seated at the table. Would anyone like to explain to me what happened?"

"I screwed up!" McKay snapped and shoved the tray away.

"Rodney, it wasn't your fault," Emmagan tried.

"Wasn't it? I'm the one who suggested we go to The Retreat!"

"Yes, you did and because you did Colonel Sheppard has his memory back."

"He does?" Weir asked incredulously.

"Yes, Kierra, Suduko's sister gave him a stew made from Sakurios Tree," Teyla explained. "It helps stimulate the memory and it seems to have worked for Colonel Sheppard."

"There is no more, Elizabeth," McKay said before Weir had a chance to ask. "We searched the planet, but it seems the tree was destroyed completely."

"Perhaps a more thorough search," Zelenka suggested.

"We used the Jumper and checked the area where the Sakurios Tree was supposed to grow, but there was nothing," Teyla answered.

"Teyla, is it possible the Sakurios Tree grows on other planets?"

"I do not believe so, but I have learned from you that even when we think things are not possible it is usually not true," Emmagan answered. "I will ask my people if anyone knows of another location for the Sakurios Tree."

"Thank you…and thank you, Rodney," Weir said.

"What are you thanking me for?" McKay said in disgust.

"If you hadn't suggested taking John to The Retreat he might not have gotten his memory back so soon," the Atlantis team leader said.

"But he's been hurt again," the Canadian said.

"Yes, but Carson and Wanda will take care of those injuries…who knows how long it would have taken for John's memory to come back on its own. At least now he can stay here and do the job he was meant for," Weir told them. They grew quiet, picking at the food while waiting for news on John Sheppard.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Carson Beckett was not surprised when he found the same group of people anxiously waiting for him when he cleaned up after surgery. He thanked Zelenka who gave up his seat for him and gratefully sat down.

"Well, Carson, how is he?" McKay asked impatiently.

"Surgery went well and the bullet was easily removed. I've started him on antibiotics and he should recovery nicely," Beckett answered.

"What about his leg?" Weir asked.

"Wanda reset it and he'll be in a cast for four to six weeks depending on how well he listens to her instructions."

"Probably just as well as he does yours," McKay griped.

"Yes, I seem to have that problem with the lot of you, but at least he won't be running marathons with Ronon until the cast is off," the weary physician remarked.

"Oh I don't know…wheelchairs…"

"Ronon, so help me if I catch any of you racing in wheelchairs I'll…"

"Easy, Doc, I was…"

"Joking…sure you were and I'm locking up the wheelchairs until further notice," Beckett vowed.

"How long before we can see him?" Teyla asked.

"Well, he's going to be sleeping the rest of the day, but you can look in on him for a few minutes then I want the lot of you out of here for at least eight hours," Beckett said and led the group toward the room where Sheppard slept.

Rodney took a deep breath as he looked at the man on the bed. John Sheppard looked pale lying against the pristine white pillow with his head tilted slightly to the left. His hair looked like it could use a good wash, but at least there were no bruises visible on his face this time. There were two IV lines and the usual paraphernalia of medical equipment, but there was no sign of a ventilator. The right leg was encased in a fiberglass cast that would help the leg heal properly, but would wreak havoc with Sheppard's need for speed. McKay knew there would be a bandage hidden below the blankets and saw the bloodied discharge from a drainage tube.

"He is going to be all right, Rodney," Beckett vowed.

"Thanks, Carson," McKay said while the others left.

"Rodney, you need to get some sleep," the physician ordered softly.

"Can I stay with him, Carson?"

The question was spoken so softly and filled with remorse as Beckett placed a hand on McKay's shoulder. "All right, Rodney, but you might as well take advantage of the bed over there because he won't be awake for several hours."

"I will," McKay said, but pulled a chair close to Sheppard's bed and sat down.

Beckett knew there was no point in arguing, but when the time came he would resort to drugs if he had to because Rodney McKay looked like he was ready to fall flat on his face. He left the man alone and went to fix a drink before making sure the Canadian got some rest.

TBC


	46. Chapter 46

Remember, Never to Forget---46

The sounds filtered through first, followed quickly by the smells he associated with the Infirmary and John slowly opened his eyes. A nurse moved around nearby and he realized he couldn't be too bad off because he wasn't in the ICU with numerous tubes and monitoring equipment attached to every part of his body. He shifted slightly, awakening the dormant pain in his side and realized his right leg felt impossibly heavy.

John lay still, soaking in the sounds and familiarity that he'd built up since coming to the Pegasus Galaxy. Atlantis was his home now and as such he had missed so much during the time he'd been a slave to Shazzia and Hawk. His memory had returned and with it the welcome feeling that this was where he belonged. Atlantis and the people here had become his family, and as such he would do anything in his power to protect them.

"Welcome back, Colonel," Beckett said upon seeing his patient awake.

"Thanks…guess you've been practicing on me again," Sheppard observed.

"Well, I took care of the wound in your side, but Dr. Shelby took care of your leg."

"How long will I be in a cast?" the colonel asked.

"Four to six weeks depending on how well you behave yourself. Now Ronon has already been warned about running marathons and the wheelchairs will be locked up for the duration," Beckett lightly scolded.

"Guess it'll be crutches at two o'clock," Sheppard said with a grin.

"Try it and I'll put you in four pint restraints," Beckett warned.

"Come on, Carson, where's your sense of humor?"

"I'll find it when there's something funny going on," the physician answered. "Seriously, Colonel, you need to take it easy and give yourself time to heal. I know you have your memory back, but you've had one trauma after another and it's taken a toll on your body."

"I'm not going to do anything stupid, Carson," Sheppard vowed,

"Good because I have no idea where I left those restraints," Beckett offered with a smile.

"Thank God," the colonel said.

"Now, son, how do you feel?"

"I guess you're giving me the good stuff again because I don't feel much of anything," Sheppard answered honestly.

"Good," the physician said and reached for the chart at the foot of the bed. "Dr. Shelby will be in later to go over everything with you. She's probably going to order physiotherapy."

"The leg is going to heal properly…"

"It will as long as you behave yourself, Colonel," Wanda Shelby advised from the partially open doorway. "Now I'm not here to read you the riot act, but there was extensive damage to your right leg and it required pins to keep the bone properly aligned. If you're not careful you could be in that cast for ten to twelve weeks…"

"Ten to twelve weeks!" Sheppard spat.

"If you do as I tell you it'll come off in four to six weeks and then a couple of weeks of Physio and strengthening exercises should have you back on your feet."

"Will I be able to beat Ronon?"

"I guess so."

"Good, because I never did before," Sheppard quipped.

"I'm glad you have a sense of humor, because you'll need it once I set the ground rules for you," Shelby warned.

"Ouch, no wonder I like you," Beckett told Shelby.

"I think I'm being double teamed and that's unfair when a man is already down," the colonel said as Teyla, Rodney, and Ronon appeared in the doorway.

"Are we interrupting something?" Emmagan asked.

"Not really, Dr. Shelby and I were just reading Colonel Sheppard the riot act," Beckett told them.

"Sorry, Sheppard," Dex said and leaned in conspiratorially. "Wheelchairs at ten…"

"So help me Ronon…"

"Easy, Doc, I'm just saying…"

"Stop, Ronon, or you'll get me in restraints and if that happens I'll make sure I'm not the only one," Sheppard said. He watched as McKay stood away from the others and knew Rodney was feeling guilty about suggesting the trip to Suduko's world. He wanted to talk to him about that, but not while the others were around and not while it felt like his head was stuffed with cotton balls. John closed his eyes and yawned tiredly as Beckett checked the IV line and knew he would soon be sleeping again.

"All right, people, why don't we let the colonel sleep and maybe he'll get something good for dinner today," Beckett suggested.

"Carson, can I stay?" McKay asked softly.

"I think that'll be fine, Rodney, but let him rest," the physician warned and herded the others out.

McKay stood next to Sheppard's bed and sighed tiredly before pulling a chair closer. How could he ever face Sheppard knowing he'd nearly cost him his life again? It didn't matter that the trip to Suduko's home was meant to be a time of healing because it ended with John being shot and nearly recaptured by Shazzia. The woman was dead now, but she haunted McKay's dreams and turned them into nightmares.

Rodney couldn't fathom how John Sheppard must have felt since he'd only spent a short time with the slaver, while Sheppard had spent at least several weeks with the woman. How much did he remember of that time now that his memory seemed to have returned? Was it as bad as his own time in her presence or worse? Probably a hell of a lot worse, but Sheppard was stronger than most people McKay knew. Would John forgive him for even suggesting the trip in the first place?

"Rodney, stop," Sheppard's voice was soft and weary as he opened his eyes and stared at the other man.

"Stop what?" McKay asked seriously.

"Whatever it is you're thinking about. I'm getting a headache just knowing those wheels are turning faster than a speeding racecar," Sheppard explained.

Almost a minute passed before McKay spoke in a voice filled with self loathing and pain. "I nearly got you killed."

"What the hell are you talking about, Rodney?" the colonel snapped.

"It was my idea to go to Suduko's home…I should have known that…that bitch would be lying in wait," the Canadian said, staring at the floor in disgust.

"McKay, look at me!" Sheppard ordered and waited as his friend raised his head slowly until they were eye to eye.

"I'm sorry, John."

"For what? Giving me back my memory?" the colonel asked softly.

"I nearly got you killed…again," McKay spat, his voice laced with self disgust.

"No, Rodney, what you did was show me I have a friend who gives a damn and wanted to do something to help me. You did that and more by suggesting we go to Suduko's home. If we hadn't gone back there's no telling how long it would take for my memory to come back. Kierra gave me something special, McKay, and she only did that because you brought me there. I am honored to call you friend."

"Even when I'm arrogant, and egotistical, and keep rubbing it in your face?"

"Even then because that's all part of your charm," Sheppard said with a tired grin.

"Even when I'm right…although I am always right."

"Don't push it, McKay," the colonel said, feeling at least some of the tension leaving the Canadian. Not everyone knew the real McKay; most simply saw an obnoxious bore who thought he was better than everyone else was, but the members of the expedition understood who he was and that he had changed a lot since coming to the Pegasus Galaxy.

"Thank you," the scientist said so softly Sheppard wasn't sure he'd heard him until McKay stared into his eyes.

"I think that goes both ways, Rodney," the colonel said tiredly.

"I should let you rest."

"No, you should sneak me in some real food," Sheppard told him.

"I could do that," McKay said.

"You could, but I'd have to ban you from the infirmary if I even get a whiff of anything other than what I've ordered for Colonel Sheppard," Beckett lightly scolded.

"Busted," Sheppard said.

"That's right and Rodney, I'm sure I told you to let him rest," the physician observed.

"I was just leaving," McKay said. "Thank you, Sheppard."

"Anytime, McKay," John told him and closed his eyes, content that McKay seemed to understand that Sheppard was grateful for his part in helping him regain his memory.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

John Sheppard leaned heavily on his crutches and slowly made his way out of the infirmary. It felt good to be 'escaping' even if it was with Beckett's permission. The Scotsman had finally tired of having Sheppard as a patient and reluctantly released him with the promise that Sheppard would return for his check up or if he had any problems with the wound in his side or the injured leg.

John felt a little let down that none of his team had come to 'escort' him away from the infirmary, but realized they were probably on an off world mission or they had other jobs that kept them from being there. John headed for the gym, but found it empty except for a couple of newcomers who smiled and greeted him with respect.

Next Sheppard headed for the Mess Hall, and was surprised to find very few people there. He looked at the food, but it didn't really interest him and he turned on his crutches and made his way back out into the corridor. John thought about going to his quarters, but he didn't really feel like being alone so he headed toward McKay's lab. The door was closed, but it opened for him, yet there were only two people present who seemed intent on their jobs and only showed a passing interest in his presence.

"Can I help you, Colonel Sheppard," a pretty redhead asked.

"I was looking for Dr. McKay."

"He's not here," a young man answered without looking away from the Petri dish he seemed so intent on.

"Thanks," Sheppard said and turned away. His next stop was the Gateroom and then the main communication's area. There was no sign of McKay, Emmagan, Dex, or Weir and several others seemed to be missing. John knew they could be anywhere, in a meeting or as he'd thought earlier, on an off world mission.

With nowhere else to go, John headed for his favorite spot, but understood he would not be able to shoot any golf balls from the top balcony. He made his way toward the nearest transporter, feeling a little disappointed that his discharge from the infirmary did not warrant at least a bit of excitement.

When the doors opened and he stepped out of the transporter, John was shocked to see a large table set up like a buffet and laden down with some of his favorite foods. He smiled as Elizabeth and Teyla hugged him and moved away so that Rodney and Ronon could shake his hand, followed quickly by Beckett and Zelenka.

"Did you really think we would not celebrate your return, Colonel Sheppard?" Emmagan asked and placed her forehead against his in the Athosian tradition.

"I thought…"

"We know what you thought, John, but we couldn't resist," Weir said. "We owe Suduko and Kierra our thanks for what they did for you. I know it will be some time before you return to active duty, but I know when that time comes everyone on Atlantis will celebrate with you."

"Thank you, Elizabeth," Sheppard said and awkwardly hugged her without dropping the crutches. John smiled and accepted the thanks of his fellow Atlantians and was soon standing at the railing overlooking the ocean. He breathed in the sights and sounds and relaxed in the familiarity of the city he now called home and the people who were now part of his extended family.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

It was three months before John Sheppard was released from Beckett and Shelby's care and returned to active duty without any restrictions. His leg was completely healed and there was no residual effect from the injuries and memory loss he'd suffered at the hands of the slavers. There'd been talks with Shariel and Kudrone, but there's been no word on Hawk's whereabouts. John knew he was out there, watching and waiting, but Sheppard had never been one to shy away from his duties in the wake of a danger that might or might not be lurking around any corner. He wanted his life back and that's exactly what he was doing…taking the bull by the horns and making damn sure his team came out ahead.

The Colonel was anxious to get back into the thick of things and was waiting at the gate when the rest of his team finally showed up. Teyla had set up a meeting with the people of PX4-2K7, a planet that had finally ended a war that had lasted for decades. The governing council had asked for help in implementing programs that would help repair the damage done to the land.

McKay and Zelenka and several other scientists would be meeting with the council and showing them the best way to save their world.

"Move out," Sheppard said and stepped through the gate with a satisfied smile on his face.

**SGASGASGASGASGA **

Hawk knew they were looking for him, but it didn't matter because he did what he had to do in order to survive. He'd found refuge with an old friend and was slowly rebuilding his life. He knew Shariel and Kudrone were watching for him, but they had no way of finding him, not here at the edge of the galaxy where the winds howled through a vortex created by the Cordelions. It would take some time, but sooner or later he would have enough power to go after his property, starting with Colonel John Sheppard. When that happened John Sheppard would find there was a fine line between hate and love and it would be a lesson he would Remember, Never to Forget.

The End?


End file.
